Regulating Your Nervous System to Reclaim Control from Narcissists and Manipulators
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
Jimmy Petrick is well known for his work with High Conflict Negotiations. He founded East Shore Coaching in 2024 to help victims specifically dealing with narcissists, manipulators, and narcissistic abuse, later expanding his reach to health and wellness coaching for anxiety management and attachment styles.
As a specialist in high-conflict negotiation and a monthly contributor to Brainz Magazine, I've dedicated my career to empowering victims of narcissistic abuse and manipulation. Whether you're navigating toxic dynamics in personal relationships or facing manipulative colleagues, clients, or superiors in the executive world, the emotional toll can be overwhelming. Anxiety, overthinking, and fear often take center stage, clouding your judgment and keeping you trapped in a cycle of reactivity.
But here's the empowering truth, by cultivating self-awareness and regulating your central nervous system (CNS), you can lay the groundwork for strategic thinking, reclaim your environment, and start the journey of getting your life back.
In my coaching practice, I work with executives who encounter narcissists in high-stakes business settings, those charmers who gaslight during negotiations, undermine in boardrooms, or exploit power imbalances. Similarly, individuals recovering from personal narcissistic abuse often feel paralyzed by the same internal chaos. The common thread? A dysregulated CNS that amplifies survival responses like fight, flight, or freeze. When your nervous system is in overdrive, strategic responses become impossible. That's why self-regulation isn't just a self-care buzzword, it's the bedrock of empowerment.
The power of self-awareness in high-conflict scenarios
Self-awareness is your first line of defense against manipulators. It involves tuning into your emotional and physical states without judgment, recognizing triggers like a racing heart or spiraling thoughts. For victims of narcissists, this awareness reveals how manipulation exploits your vulnerabilities, perhaps through guilt-tripping in a business deal or love-bombing in a relationship. Over time, chronic exposure leads to heightened anxiety, incessant overthinking ("What if I say the wrong thing?"), and paralyzing fear ("Will they retaliate?").
By becoming self-aware, you interrupt these patterns. Ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now? Is this my anxiety speaking, or is it a valid response?" This pause creates space for regulation, shifting you from reactive to proactive. A regulated CNS, balanced through the parasympathetic "rest and digest" state, calms the amygdala (your brain's fear center) and activates the prefrontal cortex for clear, strategic decision-making. It's not about suppressing emotions, it's about supporting them so you can respond with intention, whether negotiating a tough contract or setting boundaries with a toxic partner.
Simple techniques to support anxiety, overthinking, and fear
You don't need hours of therapy to start regulating, begin with accessible, science-backed tools like breathing, tapping, and humming. These activate the vagus nerve, signaling safety to your CNS and reducing cortisol levels. Incorporate them daily, especially before high-conflict interactions, to build resilience.
1. Breathing techniques: Anchor in the present
Deep, intentional breathing is a quick reset for overthinking and anxiety. When fear spikes, say, during a manipulative email from a superior, try the 4-7-8 technique:
Inhale quietly through your nose for 4 counts.
Hold your breath for 7 counts.
Exhale completely through your mouth for 8 counts, making a whooshing sound.
Repeat 4 times. This extends your exhale, engaging the parasympathetic system to slow your heart rate and quiet racing thoughts. For executives, use it before meetings to stay grounded and spot manipulation tactics like deflection.
2. Tapping (EFT): Release emotional blocks
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or tapping, combines acupressure with affirmations to address fear and overthinking. It's particularly effective for narcissistic trauma, where self-doubt lingers. Tap gently on these points while voicing your feelings:
Side of hand (karate chop point), "Even though I'm anxious about this confrontation, I accept myself."
Top of head, eyebrow, side of eye, under eye, under nose, chin, collarbone, under arm.
Cycle through 2-3 rounds. Research shows tapping reduces anxiety by up to 40% in minutes by lowering amygdala activity. For my clients dealing with workplace narcissists, it helps reframe fear into empowerment, "I see their game, and I choose my response."
3. Humming: Soothe your vagus nerve
Humming is a subtle, portable way to combat fear's freeze response. The vibration stimulates the vagus nerve, promoting calm. Try it during commutes or breaks:
Sit comfortably and hum a low "mmm" sound (like "om") for 5-10 breaths.
Feel the vibration in your throat and chest.
Studies link humming to increased heart rate variability, a marker of CNS resilience. It's ideal for victims replaying manipulative conversations, humming shifts you from rumination to regulation, freeing mental space for strategy.
From regulation to strategic mastery: Reclaiming your life
These techniques aren't quick fixes, they're foundational practices that regulate your CNS, turning chaos into clarity. A calm system allows you to think strategically. Anticipate a narcissist's moves, set firm boundaries, and control your environment rather than reacting to theirs. For executives, this means negotiating from strength, spotting gaslighting in real time and responding assertively. For personal recovery, it means breaking free from fear-driven decisions, rebuilding confidence, and attracting healthier relationships.
Remember, manipulators thrive on your dysregulation. By prioritizing self-awareness and these tools, you're not just surviving, you're strategizing your way to freedom.
Ready to dive deeper? Request a free podcast episode tailored to regulating your CNS by emailing OOOAHHEEE here. Let's crush the narc together.
Read more from Jimmy Petrick
Jimmy Petrick, High Conflict Negotiation Coach
Jimmy Petrick is a SLAY-certified leader in high-conflict negotiations. A lifetime of dealing with bullies, manipulators, and narcissists at school, with family, and in the workplace motivated him to create East Shore Coaching. After being introduced to Rebecca Zung, Petrick is now a speaker in the Slay Momentum Society community and is CEO of East Shore Coaching, helping victims of manipulation and narcissistic abuse turn their lives around. Petrick has expanded his coaching to anxiety management and developing a secure connection through understanding attachment styles.
