Redefining Success and Reinventing Yourself at Any Age
April Ratchford, OTR/L, is an autistic occupational therapist and the voice behind Adulting with Autism. She supports neurodivergent adults across the world with relatable storytelling, lived wisdom, and empowering strategies for real-life challenges.
Hey guys, I know you haven’t heard from me since February, but to be fair, I turned 50 in March, so I celebrated the entire month. Then my son turned 24 in April, so I celebrated that month too.
But I’ve noticed this time of year is kind of an awakening season for a lot of people. For our seniors graduating, congratulations.
For those of you in college, congratulations. For those of you sitting there thinking, “I’m ready for a life change,” congratulations to you too.
Because this season tends to wake people up to what they really want out of life. In order to figure that out, sometimes you have to redefine what success actually means.
What does success actually mean?
Success has always been taught to us as having a certain job, making a certain amount of money, living on your own, owning a house, owning a car, getting married by a certain age, and having kids by a certain age.
But that is somebody else’s timeline and somebody else’s definition of success. Your success is whatever you define it to be. There is no expiration date on reinvention.
Here in America, we make everything so focused on time, “If you don’t do this by 25, you’re behind.” “If you don’t do this by 30, you’ll never catch up.” “If you’re not married by 35...” “If you don’t own a house by 40...”
Time is honestly a social construct that keeps people panicking. Life is fluid.
You can reinvent yourself at any age. Reinvention can happen more than once. At 22, I became a nurse. Later, I went back to school and reinvented myself as an occupational therapy assistant. And now, here I am, managing a podcast and building my own business.
If you had told me at 18 that one day I’d be running a business, I would have laughed in your face because that wasn’t who I was yet.
That’s the point. Experiences change you. Growth changes you. Maturity changes you. You level up through living. But in order to grow, you also have to be willing to fail sometimes. You have to be willing to fall, learn, adapt, and try again.
That’s not failure. That’s evolution.
Failure is often growth in disguise
Some of you are probably sitting there thinking, “Girl, you’re 50. Of course you know things now.”
So let me give you another example. My son Z just completed his first full year at Marshall University, something he had never done before. Fall semester was rough. He had housing hiccups. He was juggling four to five in person classes.
He was trying to learn how to navigate college independently:
deadlines
technology
advocating for himself
communicating with advisors
managing adult responsibilities on his own
Honestly? It overwhelmed him. He ended up withdrawing from two classes, failed another one, and landed on academic probation. He was devastated. He looked at me and said, “I’m a failure.”
I told him, “No, you’re not.” Grades do not define learning Growth is more than grades.
Do you know what he accomplished that semester? He made friends on his own outside of the internet. He learned how to ride the bus with friends to Walmart. He learned how to communicate with advisors. He learned how to keep going even when things got hard. That is NOT failure.
That is growth. Now spring semester? Oh, he kicked butt. He earned two A’s, two C’s, and retook the math class he previously withdrew from and earned an A.
His spring GPA was a 3.07. Now yes, because transferred credits from his first college attempt still affect his cumulative GPA, his overall GPA when he came to Marshall was somewhere around a 1.2 or 1.5.
Now, he’s sitting around a 1.8 overall. Once he finishes retaking English and earns the A we know he’s capable of, his GPA jumps over a 2.0.
From there? The only direction left is upward.
There is no timeline for becoming who you are
That’s what I need some of you to understand, "Just because you trip, fall on your face, struggle, fail a class, lose a job, change directions, or have setbacks does not mean you are a failure."
There is no such thing as failure if you are learning from the experience. Life lessons are still lessons. Growth is still growth. No, you are not a failure. You may not have done the task well the first time, but if you learned, adapted, and kept going, then you are evolving.
Do not let anybody define you by one bad season of your life.
Ask yourself these two questions
So what I want you guys to take away from all of this is this. Sit down and ask yourself, “What does success actually mean to me?” Not your parents. Not society. Not social media. Not your peers. You.
Once you answer that question, ask yourself another one, “What do I actually want out of my life?” Because not all of us are meant to want the same things. You do not have to want marriage, children, corporate success, a giant house, or somebody else’s dream.
If your dream is to own a fruit stand, garden all day, and live peacefully, then do that. Because one thing I’ve learned, and one thing I constantly tell my son, is this:
Whatever your passion is, there is usually a way to make money from it if you are willing to learn, grow, adapt, and put in the work.
Now, will that passion stay the same forever? Probably not. Because as you mature and experience life, you evolve. Your interests change. Your goals change. Your identity changes, and that’s okay.
That’s what being human is. Autistic or not, we are all constantly evolving. So stop punishing yourself for changing. Stop punishing yourself for not having life figured out on someone else’s timeline. You are allowed to reinvent yourself at any age.
Reinvention is part of being human
So I want you guys to sit with those two questions, “What does success mean to me?” and “What do I truly want in my life?”
Once you answer them? Go out into the world and kick ass.
Read more from April Michelle Ratchford
April Michelle Ratchford, Occupational Therapist/Podcast Host
April Ratchford, OTR/L, is an autistic occupational therapist, writer, and global advocate for neurodivergent adults. As the creator and host of Adulting with Autism, an internationally ranked podcast with over two million downloads, she blends clinical expertise with real-life lived experience. April specializes in supporting autistic young adults as they transition into independence, higher education, and adult identity. She is known for her clear, empowering approach that makes complex neurodivergent challenges accessible and manageable. April is currently advancing her studies in neuroscience through King’s College London to further elevate her work in autistic well-being and adult development.
