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Raising Talented Female Athletes and the Lies Parents Are Told

May 12
6 min read

Arj Perera is a staunch advocate for the progression of women's sport, having spent over 15 years as a High Performance Coach through Basketball and Volleyball at the elite levels. He is the founder of Human Mechanics Australia and The Brown Bear Coaches, providing high-performance coaching for elite and developing female athletes.

Executive Contributor Arj Perera Brainz Magazine

There’s something happening in youth sport that doesn’t get enough attention, and it’s not coming from a lack of effort or care from parents. In fact, it’s usually the opposite. The parents I meet are invested, supportive, and doing everything they can to give their daughters the best possible opportunities. They’re committing time, money, and energy, often juggling busy lives to make it all work. The issue isn’t intent, it’s information.


Women in rugby uniforms form a scrum at night on a field. The background is dark with blurred lights, and the mood is focused and intense.

A lot of what parents are told about developing talented female athletes is incomplete. It sounds right on the surface, and it’s often repeated by coaches, programs, and even other parents, but it misses a critical piece of the puzzle. Over time, that gap starts to show up not just in performance but also in injuries, burnout, and missed potential.


One of the most common messages parents hear is that their daughter just needs to keep working on her skills. If she’s talented, the solution seems simple: more reps, more games, more time with the ball. There’s an assumption that if the technical side keeps improving, everything else will fall into place. While skill development is obviously important, it’s only part of the picture. What often gets overlooked is the physical preparation that allows those skills to be expressed safely and consistently. Takeaway: Skill training must be paired with deliberate physical preparation.


This becomes particularly obvious when talented girls are pushed into higher levels of competition. It’s common for a skilled athlete to start playing up an age group, sometimes even two. On paper, it makes sense because they can handle the game from a technical standpoint. However, the physical differences between age groups can be significant. Strength, speed, size, and general physical maturity all increase, and if an athlete hasn’t been supported to develop in those areas, they are stepping into an environment their body isn’t fully prepared for. Over time, that mismatch creates problems and, more often than not, leads to injury.


I’ve seen this play out too many times to ignore. One athlete who stands out is a young woman in her early twenties who has all the attributes you’d look for: talented, coachable, committed, and a great teammate. Despite that, she’s now had four ACL reconstructions. At some point, it stops being labelled as bad luck and becomes a reflection of the pathway she came through. There was never a consistent, well-structured strength and conditioning program in place early on. Her development focused heavily on skill, and while she did undergo rehabilitation after each injury, rehab alone isn’t the same as long-term physical development. Each time she returned to play, she was still missing the foundation needed to withstand the demands of her sport. Now, despite her ability, she carries a level of risk that makes it difficult for her to progress further. That’s a hard reality, but it’s one that could have been influenced much earlier.


Another belief that causes issues is the idea that more training automatically leads to better outcomes. It sounds logical, but without context, it becomes misleading. I regularly see young female athletes training or competing almost every day of the week, often across multiple teams. They’re constantly busy, constantly active, and from the outside, it looks like they’re doing everything right. The problem is there’s often no structure behind it. There’s no real understanding of total training load, no clear recovery plan, and no period during which the body can properly adapt to the work being done.


The body doesn’t improve simply because more stress is added. It improves when stress is applied appropriately and followed by adequate recovery. Without that balance, fatigue builds, movement quality declines, and the likelihood of injury increases. What actually drives long-term performance is effective training, not just more of it. That requires some planning and an understanding of how to manage training across different phases of the year, whether that’s building capacity in the off-season, increasing intensity closer to competition, or maintaining performance during the season.


There’s a widely held belief that talent alone is enough for young athletes. While appealing, this idea fails at higher levels, where all athletes have talent. The true difference is the ability to consistently perform skills under pressure, against stronger and faster opponents, and throughout a demanding season. Standout athletes develop physically as well as technically. They move better, recover faster, and are more resilient. The takeaway: talent opens the door, but preparation determines success.


Early specialisation is another area where well-intentioned decisions can have unintended consequences. Focusing on one sport at a young age is often seen as a way to accelerate development, but in many cases, it limits it. Young athletes benefit from exposure to different sports and movement patterns, which helps build coordination, balance, and overall athletic ability. When everything becomes too narrow too early, the body is exposed to repetitive stress and the athlete can lose the broader foundation that supports long-term growth. Variety isn’t a distraction from development, it’s part of it.


The way coaching is delivered also plays a role in how athletes develop. There’s still a perception in some environments that tough coaching, in the form of constant criticism or aggressive communication, builds resilience. In reality, it often does the opposite. Athletes need to be challenged and receive feedback, but the way it's delivered matters. Without trust and a genuine connection, it becomes difficult for athletes to take on information and apply it effectively. Good coaching creates an environment where athletes understand that feedback is there to help them improve, not to break them down.


Underpinning all of this is a broader issue around how female athletes are supported compared to their male counterparts. Boys are often expected to engage in strength training as part of their development, and systems are typically built to support that. For girls, that same level of expectation and structure hasn’t always been present. While things are improving, there are still environments where physical development for female athletes is treated as secondary. The reality is that the demands of sport don’t change based on gender. If female athletes aren’t given the same level of support in this area, the consequences later include injuries, reduced confidence, and higher dropout rates.


Parents play an important role in navigating all of this, but it’s easy to get caught up in the noise. There’s an overwhelming amount of information available, much of it coming from sources that don’t necessarily have the experience to back it up. It can lead to confusion and, at times, decisions that aren’t aligned with what the athlete actually needs. The most effective approach for parents is often the simplest one. Supporting their daughter, matching her level of commitment, and helping her access the right people and environments can make a significant difference. It also means knowing when to step back and let the process unfold, rather than trying to control every aspect.


Equally important is recognising the value of rest and recovery. Young athletes need time away from their sport to reset both physically and mentally. They also need space to be kids, to pursue other interests, and to develop beyond their sporting identity. When everything becomes centred around performance, it increases the risk of burnout and reduces the likelihood of long-term engagement.


Raising a talented female athlete isn’t just about more training, but about making informed choices. Balancing skill, physical preparation, recovery, and perspective based on accurate information directly impacts athlete outcomes. There is no single path, but a better-informed approach creates opportunity and long-term success.


By questioning common assumptions and seeking better information, parents help their daughters not only perform but also stay healthy, engaged, and confident. This support enables daughters to continue progressing for as long as they choose to remain involved.


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Read more from Arj Perera

Arj Perera, High Performance Coach

Empowering our youth female athletes to focus on their physical development to build strong, athletic, and resilient bodies has become Arj's primary focus over the last 15 years. With Conference and National Championships under his belt as well, he brings this knowledge and expertise to our most important athletes outside of National and Pro circuits - our youth.

This article is published in collaboration with Brainz Magazine’s network of global experts, carefully selected to share real, valuable insights.

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