Permission to Be Curious and the Certainty of Not Knowing
Alexis Lynch specializes in neurodiversity and encourages the community to incorporate a "difference, not a deficit" mindset. Lynch is neurodivergent herself and feels this assists in the therapeutic process and client relationship.
Human brains love to make associations, solve problems, and come to conclusions. Unfortunately, life is not always this simple. We go from one state to another but forget that between those two states is a liminal space where growth happens. The discomfort in this space is that it can feel stagnant or boring, or perhaps the opposite. Maybe it feels overwhelming, as though things will never be resolved. Often, we forget that the liminal space, the hallway before we get to the other side of our original mode, is also a place where we exist, another place to explore.
In this hallway, we can use curiosity to explore where we are going and what we want the destination to look like. Or we can sit and try to hide from the discomfort, leaning against the wall and hoping something will propel us into the next mode rather than exploring that journey for ourselves. Carl Jung discussed the tension between opposites, believing that humans want to resolve it as quickly as possible. But Jung believed that growth happened where tension was held, while we were in the hallway. He believed that if we held the tension long enough, it would not be only two modes that existed. Instead, a third mode would arise, something new. It is no longer “Am I strong or weak?” but “What kind of strength includes weakness?” This is an emerging new perspective that fosters growth within our vulnerabilities.
As you walk through this hallway, curiously and uncomfortably, you may find your way to the bridge before the final mode of change. The bridge suspends you between the modes, an extension of the hallway and the final boss of discomfort and vulnerability. This may be the moment when you ask yourself, “This is uncomfortable, am I sure this is the right way?” The uncertainty may feel unbearable at times, so we rush to the quickest resolution without maintaining our curiosity about another perspective, one that could take us from familiarity to a version of ourselves we did not know existed.
Perhaps weakness is no longer a lack but a version of yourself that is willing to be vulnerable enough to discover new strengths within yourself. This changes the definition of strength, allowing two things to exist at the same time. So often, we have black and white thoughts, lazy or productive, certainty or curiosity. What if I told you there is sometimes productivity in doing nothing? What if there could be certainty in feeling uncertain? Curiosity comes when you ask questions such as, “What makes doing nothing productive sometimes?” An example might be that you are burned out, and resting, or doing nothing, recharges you and supports productivity.
As Jung would warn, choosing one side or the other overlooks perspectives you may not have accounted for because you did not know they existed. You miss the opportunity for growth beyond your own knowledge. Staying curious within liminal spaces, or the hallway, keeps you from remaining suspended on the bridge between the two modes of where you are and where you are going. The hallway is not about solving a problem. It is about exploring with curiosity.
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Alexis Lynch, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Alexis Lynch is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the State of Florida. She specializes in neurodiversity and encourages the community to incorporate a "difference, not a deficit" mindset. Lynch is neurodivergent herself and feels this assists in the therapeutic process and client relationship. Lynch empowers her clients to utilize their strengths to work toward self-discovery and find comfort in feeling uncomfortable to gain confidence when met with challenges. The client can feel more present in their lives and reduce their anxiety by gaining this confidence and a newfound sense of self.
