Overcoming Uncertainty and Taking Action When You Don't Know How
- Feb 6, 2025
- 6 min read
Written by Maxine Smith, Life Coach
Maxine Smith is a renowned career coach and mentor, best known for her impactful work within the corporate world. As the founder of Spirit Soul Solutions, an online coaching platform, she offers a wide range of life coaching services aimed at personal and professional development.
Past traumas are trapping you in your mind, causing physical illness and emotional exhaustion. You've tried every possible solution, but nothing has worked, leaving you feeling stuck. Now, you are ready to confront these issues directly and overcome them.
What is trauma by definition?
“Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can have a profound physical and emotional impact on a person. It can be caused by a single event, such as a car accident or a natural disaster, or by repeated exposure to stressful or traumatic situations, such as child abuse or domestic violence,”. as defined by global health professionals and verified by Dr. Mayank Saxena Doctor of Medicine (MBBS)
What is your hidden trauma?
Body shaming can originate from various sources, such as illness, differing body sizes deemed unacceptable by societal standards, or constant criticism from family and friends. These critiques often include not being smart enough, talented, or as accomplished as siblings or other family members. Rejection from social groups, relationships, parents, siblings, and jobs adds to the myriad of unique challenges each faces. This often leads to self-sabotage in relationships and the pervasive feeling of inadequacy, which are everyday struggles for many.
Through my personal experiences, I have navigated painful transitions over the past decade. As I aged, I found myself entering unknown life phases, leaving me confused and uncertain about how to handle them. This was particularly difficult when past traumatic events resurfaced, consuming my mind, body, and soul in a way I could no longer escape.
When we speak of trauma, many immediately think of accidents or violent abuse, which is indeed true. However, we must also recognize the subtle experiences that we cannot move on from as trauma, for they have the same impact on our daily lives.
4 key signs of trauma by definition
Research by doctors and psychologists speaks in depth about trauma and what could have potentially caused this within a person. Understanding Emotional Trauma and PTSD have identified the key signs of trauma.
“Emotional impact: Trauma can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, and helplessness.”
“Physical symptoms: It may manifest as fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, or other physical ailments.”
“Behavioral changes: Trauma can alter sleep patterns, appetite, and ability to concentrate, and it might lead to avoidance of certain places or activities.”
“Cognitive effects: Individuals may experience intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, or difficulty remembering parts of the traumatic event.”
Identify the root cause of your trauma with these six questions
This process begins with examining old habits and patterns.
What have you consistently done to avoid a specific area of your life that no longer brings positive outcomes?
How do you react when you are triggered?
How does your response make you feel?
How do you process these feelings? Do you tend to fight or flee?
Do you want to continue living this way?
Is this helping you heal?
Reflecting on these questions can aid in your healing journey.
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Untruths we tell ourselves
We often convince ourselves that we can't change who we are. We ask ourselves questions like, “Is this just how I am? Is it a trait I can’t alter?” We worry about what our friends and family will think if we start acting differently. We tell ourselves we’re better off without certain things or people, but for whom?
Deep down, we know what no longer serves us and desire change. However, we are often afraid. We have become conditioned to behave in certain ways, frequent specific places, speak in particular manners, and show up in ways that conform to others’ expectations, even though we realize that it no longer aligns with what we truly want.
Permit yourself to change.
What to do when you don't know how: Release
Now that you have identified old patterns, what do you intend to do about them? You are well aware that continuing down this path will only lead to self-destruction, depression, guilt, and shame. Eventually, this can result in pretending these issues do not exist, causing you to miss out on the beauty of what life could offer.
It is time to work through it. Find your safe space, whether it is a room in your house, your car, or a quiet place just for you where you can release the pressure. Allow yourself to feel all those stormy, raging emotions as if you are on a never-ending roller coaster ride. Cry to release those nameless emotions. Scream at the top of your lungs as if your life depends on it. Finally, acknowledge out loud to yourself what you have been avoiding, even though you do not know how to confront it.
How to start? 5 steps to "healing your mind and body
My personal favorite that I believe in and always works. Prayer! I believe that when I take it to God (some of you refer to a Higher power, Divine, Universe, it doesn't matter what name you call), he always knows what's best and how to comfort me. This step is essential to your healing journey.
Secondly, there is my go-to book, 'Secret The Power by Rhonda Byrne'.The Power | The Secret - Official Website I bought this book 7 years ago when I was going through my 1st traumatic healing process it has helped me ever since.
Dig deep: Self-evaluation
1. Prayer: This is an honest conversation without judgment to express what you feel.
Physical activity
2. Exercise, whether you prefer the gym, dancing, yoga, or walking, is your preference. The key is to move as this helps to release body toxins that we ingest through our thoughts and lead to anxiety if not attended to.
Be intentional
3. Action: Find a life coach if you think it's something that you need help with to navigate through the next steps. That will also hold you accountable, check your progress, encourage you through every milestone, and know you are not alone.
If the trauma is severe and you need to seek professional help. Seeking support from mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can be an important step in addressing and overcoming trauma. If you or someone you know is dealing with trauma, know that it's okay to seek help and take the time needed to heal.
Practice the change daily
4. Do the work: No day will be the same, but show up anyway and work through the mess. Repeat your time in silence, listen to music to bring you back to your calm state, or even watch a movie. You will be surprised where the answers lie waiting for you to engage, process, change your old patterns, and start anew.
Replace your negative with positive beliefs
5. Find affirmations that resonate with you and say it every waking day, and even when you feel yourself slipping into the 'I'm giving up' mode, say it and believe it.
‘I can, I will, And I shall’
Unlock your new chapter
You can change! You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself and live the life you envisioned because you deserve and are worth it!
You have the power to change! You owe it to yourself to become the best version of yourself and live the life you envision because you truly deserve it.
As a life coach and mentor, I am dedicated to helping others achieve their best and be their best selves at any stage or phase in life, whether it be personal development, career changes, or relationships. I assist you in navigating various challenges and believe me, I was once in your shoes. I continue to learn daily through life's challenges and still encounter roadblocks as I am also living life for the first time.
This journey does not make me perfect or imply that I have all the answers in my profession. However, serving and helping others through their journeys heals and helps me too. Book a coaching call today and read more on our website.
Read more from Maxine Smith
Maxine Smith, Life Coach
Maxine Smith is the inspiring leader of Spirit Soul Solutions, an online coaching platform. Her own career challenges and the search for a place where she could thrive and grow led her to this path. Maxine's work is deeply rooted in transforming limiting beliefs and changing patterns that no longer serve her in all areas of life. She believes in continuous self-improvement and views herself as a work in progress, constantly evolving to help others do the same.
