Overcoming Imposter Syndrome in Hospitality
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 7
- 5 min read
Written by Mark De'Mar, Life & Business Success Coach
Mark De'Mar is an Operations Director, founder of Three Chords Coaching & a certified Life Coach. He specializes in leadership, operational efficiency, personal growth, helping businesses & individuals optimize performance through strategy & coaching. Passionate about innovation, he shares insights on leadership, transformation and success.
After 20+ years in the hospitality industry, from cleaning dishes for £2.5 an hour at 14 to clearing tables and directing operations for a restaurant group, I think I’ve seen it all (though surprises still pop up). One thing that never ceases to amaze me is the prevalence of imposter syndrome within our industry. It's a sneaky wee beastie that can affect anyone, regardless of their experience or accomplishments.
What is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is that nagging feeling that you're a fraud, that you don't deserve your success, and that at any moment, you'll be exposed as a phony. It's often accompanied by a fear of failure, a tendency to downplay achievements, and an overwhelming sense of self-doubt.
The UK hospitality perception
The UK has a rich history of hospitality, with traditions and practices that have been passed down for generations. This sense of heritage is something to be proud of, but it can also create a perception that there's a "right" way to do things and a certain level of expertise that must be attained. This perception can lead to imposter syndrome in several ways:
High standards
The emphasis on tradition and quality can make it seem like there's an impossibly high bar to reach.
If you have worked in the industry you know that if someone comes and day 1 isn’t blowing you away most of us at some time or another would instantly dismiss them as crap.
Rapid change
The industry constantly evolves, with new trends and technologies always emerging. This can make it feel like you're always playing catch-up.
This is one of my favourite things about the industry and one of the hardest things. Businesses and people who can’t keep up often get sidelined or left behind.
Public-facing nature
Hospitality is a people-oriented business. You're constantly being judged by customers, colleagues, and even competitors.
You all know what I’m talking about here and have been on one side or the other at some point or both. It is natural, but when working in the environment day in and out, it can take a toll.
The "just a job" stigma
It’s just a job. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had some leave the industry and say they have found ‘a proper’ job. It kills my soul every time. I was guilty of it for a long time until I kicked my imposter in the face and found some serious pride in what I do.
It’s an unfortunate perception that hospitality is merely a "transitional job," not a "real career." It's often looked down upon, considered something people do until they find "something better."
This dismissive attitude, often coming from outside the industry but sometimes even internalized by those within it, can significantly fuel imposter syndrome. It can make dedicated professionals question their choices, minimize their skills, and feel like they constantly have to justify their passion. This couldn't be further from the truth. Hospitality is a complex, demanding, and incredibly rewarding career path that requires a diverse skill set and offers ample growth opportunities. I firmly believe that it is quite possibly the top industry for growth and development, allowing its team members to access a multitude of industries under one roof.
Why hospitality professionals are vulnerable to imposters
In hospitality, imposter syndrome can be particularly damaging. It can lead to:
Burnout: The constant pressure to prove yourself can lead to exhaustion.
Missed opportunities: You might avoid taking on new challenges or promotions, fearing you'll be exposed as a fraud.
Decreased job satisfaction: The joy of the work can be diminished by self-doubt and anxiety.
Words of wisdom
As Jay Shetty wisely said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." This quote hits home when we're talking about imposter syndrome. It's time to recognize your worth and embrace your potential. Imposter affects high-performing and successful individuals particularly hard. Do you feel imposter syndrome applies to you? If so, read that part about who it affects again; I’ll wait.
If you read that again, you believe you have imposter syndrome. You read who it affects twice. The affirmation unlocked is “I am Successful.” Say it out loud: “ I am successful.”
5 tips to combat imposter syndrome
Name it
The first step is to recognize imposter syndrome for what it is. Once you can identify those feelings of self-doubt, you can start to challenge them. Just like any Conjuring or moving with possession involved. Get the demon's name and send it to hell.
Challenge your thoughts
When you start to feel like a fraud, ask yourself, "Do I believe what my mind is telling me?”. By reframing your mind in 3rd person, you can treat it like getting bad advice from a know-it-all colleague, You can’t stand them and roll your eyes when they offer unsolicited advice; sometimes your mind is that guy.
Celebrate your successes
Keep a running list of your accomplishments, no matter how small. Made it to work on time, whammy! Made your bed, win! Didn’t let the intrusive thoughts win and throat punch the annoying co-coworker who called you out on how you cleaned the coffee machine last night? Win this one in particular, I’m so proud of you. One day, when you're struggling, review the list to remind yourself of all you've achieved, and make yourself smile.
Talk about it
Share your feelings with a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist. Just make sure that you are talking to someone whose advice you care about. It's the quality of the listening over the quantity of the ears taking in a sound.
Focus on growth
Instead of dwelling on insecurities, focus on learning and growing. The more you develop your skills and knowledge, the more confident you'll become. Going to be a whole blog on this one, as it’s in this that I started to find my groove in my work. Growth over goals is my biggest piece of advice when battling imposter syndrome in any industry.
You are not alone (eye roll subtitle)
It is true, but it is not always helpful to say it out loud. If you're struggling with imposter syndrome, please know that you're not alone. It's a common experience, especially in a demanding field like hospitality, often compounded by external perceptions. But remember, you are capable, you are valuable, and you deserve your success. Your career in hospitality is valid, important, and worthy of pride beyond measure.
If no one else has told you today, I’m proud of you. There may be no ‘I’ in ‘team’, but there is a ‘me’ in awesome. Stay awesome!
Read more from Mark De'mar
Mark De'Mar, Life & Business Success Coach
Mark De'Mar is an Operations Director, founder of Three Chords Coaching, and a certified Jay Shetty Life Coach. He specializes in leadership, operational efficiency, and personal growth. With a passion for inclusion, he helps businesses and individuals optimize performance through strategy and coaching. His expertise spans process improvement, team development, and transformation. Mark combines structured operational strategies with personal development insights. He is dedicated to innovation and unlocking human potential. Through his work, he shares valuable insights on leadership, growth, and success.
