Not Every Stone is for Every Person
- Apr 1
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 7
Written by Ayan’fe Rosano, Spiritual Technician
Ayan’fe Rosano walks the sacred bridge between heaven and humanity, guiding others to awaken their inner frequency and support others in recalibrating their energy and rise into divine alignment.
What if the stone you’re drawn to has less to do with what you need and more to do with who you are? This article challenges the idea of universal stones and invites a more honest, personal understanding of resonance.
Not every stone is for every person. I know slightly inconvenient. Especially if you were hoping one good crystal purchase was going to reorganize your entire life. If only it worked like that.
Stones are not prescriptions. They are not assigned based on popularity, marketing, or how many Instagram posts have declared them life-changing. They are relationships. And relationships, as most of us have learned, do not form because something is generally considered “good.” They form because something is specifically coherent with you.
I remember sitting in a class where we were being introduced to different types of crystals. As part of the exercise, small bags were passed around the room, each containing a different type of stone. We were invited to choose one from each to take home.
Five bags. Five opportunities for connection. When the bag of rose quartz reached me, I remember feeling turned off.
Not dramatically. I didn’t recoil. No one had to call for assistance. Just a quiet, internal “no thank you.” My body had already made its decision. And yet, I still reached into the bag and took one.
Not because I felt drawn to it. Not because there was recognition. But because it was rose quartz, and rose quartz, I had been told, was important. It was the stone of love. The one everyone is supposed to connect with.
So I chose one. And it meant nothing to me. Because apparently, we don’t just ignore our bodies, we override them politely.
That moment stayed with me. Not because rose quartz had done anything wrong, but because it had done nothing at all. It simply remained itself. It did not try to become more appealing. It did not adjust to earn my approval. It did not perform.
It was coherent within itself. And the absence of connection was not a flaw in the stone. It was information about me.
Over time, in the realm of stones that aided in the playground of love, I discovered that I connected deeply with Kunzite. It did not need an introduction or a reputation to stand on. When I held it, there was an immediate sense of familiarity.
Not excitement. Not spectacle. Just recognition. One year, at a large gem and mineral fair, that recognition tested my intelligence.
Vendors had come from all over, each booth filled with extraordinary pieces. At one particular booth, there was a section marked 50% off. And in that section, there it was a piece of Kunzite. Substantial, clean, with a color so precise it almost didn’t feel real.
I picked it up and immediately felt the connection. The sticker said $200, which meant $100 after the discount. Even at that price, it was a remarkable piece. And yet, it was the first day of the fair. The first booth. And suddenly, I became responsible.
I told myself I should walk around first. See what else was out there. Make an informed decision.
So I put it down. I spent the rest of the day walking through the fair, seeing hundreds of other stones. Some were beautiful. Some were rare. Some were significantly more expensive.
But none of them were that Kunzite. When I got home, I showed a photo of it to a mentor of mine. She took one look at it and, without ceremony, informed me that not buying it was a mistake. Not only was it an exceptional piece, but it was also severely underpriced. A stone of that size and color should have easily been in the thousand-dollar range.
In other words, I hadn’t just hesitated. I had hesitated in the presence of alignment. Which is a very refined way of saying I almost fumbled something that was clearly for me.
The next day, I went back. Not expecting it to still be there. With that many people moving through the fair, many far more experienced than I was, I assumed someone else would have recognized it immediately.
But as I approached the booth and looked through the section, there it was. Exactly where I had left it. Sitting quietly in its box. Not competing. Not persuading. Not trying to become more appealing. Just there. Not waiting for me specifically. Just available for whoever was able to recognize it.
This time, I didn’t negotiate with myself. I picked it up and let them know I was ready to purchase it. They remembered me from the day before and, without prompting, reduced the price even further.
The stone had not chased me. It had simply remained coherent within itself long enough for me to stop arguing with my own recognition.
This is where the illusion of universality begins to fall apart. Connection does not happen at the category level. It happens at the level of the individual.
Not every Kunzite is for me. I have held pieces that felt alive in my hands, and others that felt like exactly what they were, a stone, existing peacefully, entirely uninterested in forming a relationship with me.
This is not rejection. It is precision. The same is true with Rhodochrosite. I connect deeply with Argentinian Rhodochrosite. Peruvian Rhodochrosite, while equally beautiful, does not create the same internal coherence for me.
We understand this easily in human relationships. You can meet two people with identical qualities on paper and feel drawn to one while feeling absolutely nothing toward the other. No amount of logic can manufacture resonance.
It either exists. Or it doesn’t. Stones operate the same way. They do not respond to your expectations. They do not adjust themselves to meet your preferences. They remain exactly what they are, which, if we’re being honest, is more than most people can say.
And your nervous system responds accordingly. When a stone is coherent with you, there is often a subtle shift. Sometimes it feels like exhaling without realizing you were holding your breath. Sometimes it feels quiet. Sometimes it feels like nothing at all.
Except for the absence of internal resistance. And equally important, when there is no connection, your body knows that too.
This is where many people override their own intelligence. Not because they don’t have it, but because they’ve been taught not to trust it.
So they choose based on what they think they should connect with, rather than what they actually do. But stones do not require your agreement to remain what they are. They are not offended if you do not choose them. They do not attempt to earn your approval. They do not adjust themselves to fit your expectations.
They simply remain in their structural integrity. And in doing so, they offer you an opportunity to practice the same. Not every stone is for every person. And the ones that are will not require persuasion, effort, or explanation.
There will simply be recognition. Quiet. Immediate. Undeniable. And if you’re paying attention. You may begin to notice that the same recognition has been trying to guide you in more places than just stones.
Not every stone is meant for you. And the ones that are will not require persuasion, effort, or explanation. There will simply be recognition. And that recognition tells you more about yourself than the stone ever will.
Read more from Ayan’fe Rosano
Ayan’fe Rosano, Spiritual Technician
Ayan’fe Rosano is a Spiritual Technician and Energy Alchemist who believes Love is the highest frequency, and he’s here to help people tune to it. A Reiki Master, crystal whisperer, and sound healer, he weaves intuitive insight, sacred sound, and crystalline technology to help others realign their energy and remember their light. As part of Dr. Iyanla Vanzant’s team, Ayan’fe bridges spirituality and structure where healing gets holy, and energy gets organized.
