Never Go Back to the Place You Lost Your Smile
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 3
- 3 min read
Chris Suchanek, CEO of Firm Media and Forbes™ Agency Council Member, has 25+ years of marketing experience and has launched brands like Omniblend™. He also co-founded Project Boon and manages CASKS Restaurant Group in Los Angeles.
For a long time, I thought being the person everyone could count on was a strength. I built a life, a business, and a reputation for being the steady hand, the open door, the solution finder. But somewhere along the way, I lost something quietly and completely, my smile. Not the surface one I wore in meetings or posed for in pictures, but the real one. The one that came from knowing who I was, what I stood for, and feeling safe in that truth.
What took it from me wasn’t one dramatic moment. It was the slow burn of unhealed trauma wrapped in the disguise of being helpful. Of saying yes when I should have said no. Of giving second, third, and fourth chances to people who had no intention of changing. My people pleaser, born from a younger version of me that learned love was conditional, became my compass. It led me straight into the arms of toxic relationships that felt like home because dysfunction was once all I knew.
At work, it looked like overextending myself for people who never gave back, defending those who didn’t defend me, and excusing behavior that quietly gutted the culture I worked so hard to build. At home, it showed up in patterns that looked like loyalty but were really self-abandonment. I ignored the small betrayals, the one-sided dynamics, the way I shrank myself to make others comfortable.
People took advantage. But the hard truth is, I let them.
The version of me that kept giving, kept bending, kept holding space for others without ever asking for anything back, that version of me was unhealed. And unhealed people don’t set boundaries. They set themselves on fire to keep others warm and call it love or leadership.
The cost was high. I lost joy. I lost clarity. I lost the part of me that used to light up when life felt aligned. That smile was never supposed to disappear. But it did. Because I allowed my past to drive the car, and it took me to places I had no business staying.
Eventually, I had to face a hard but liberating truth: healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were. It means becoming someone new, someone you’ve never had the chance to be, because life kept pulling you into survival mode. I had to stop trying to fix others and start rebuilding myself. That meant letting go of the roles I played for so long. It meant grieving the loss of relationships I wanted to work on, but couldn’t continue without losing myself in the process.
Today, I still lead. I still serve. But not from a place of fear, guilt, or proving my worth. I’ve learned that boundaries are not walls, and protecting your peace is not selfish. It’s sacred. This is the architecture of self-respect.
If you’ve lost your smile, if your light feels dim, ask yourself this: Who or what have you given permission to dim it? And, more importantly, why?
Never go back to the place you lost your smile, not out of anger, but out of reverence for the version of you that survived it. That version deserves more. And so do you.
Read more from Christopher A. Suchánek
Christopher A. Suchánek, Entrepreneur & Chief Executive Officer
Chris Suchanek, CEO and co-founder of Firm Media, has over 25 years of marketing expertise, launching brands like Omniblend™ and MediLearn360™. He began in the entertainment industry with brands like Warner Bros. and MTV, contributing to a Grammy Award with Brainstorm Artists International. A Forbes™ author and Agency Council Member, Chris is an expert speaker on medical branding. He also co-founded Project Boon, a nonprofit addressing food insecurity, and manages CASKS Restaurant Group in Los Angeles. His leadership focuses on strategic vision and mentorship.
