Learning to Embrace Mistakes and Grow with Confidence
- Brainz Magazine
- Jan 31
- 4 min read
Wendy is a yoga teacher of teachers with decades of experience in the practice and teaching of yoga. One of her passions is the uncanny intersections where Western research validates the instructions for emotional regulation laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.
For much of my life, I lived with a paralyzing fear of making mistakes. The discovery brought no joy, only anxiety. This fear, rooted in childhood trauma, became a recent revelation as I crossed the mid-century mark.
Understanding whence it came
Understanding this about myself helped me recognize why I so emphatically emphasize the importance of how to instruct a beginner to my yoga teacher trainees. When someone makes it to their first yoga class, they may feel self-conscious or spend months mustering the courage to show up. As yoga teachers, our role is to ease their fears of "getting it wrong" and create a safe, welcoming space for exploration and growth. But is this only for yoga instructors?
Beginner’s angst
A recent event showed me just how important it is that I include beginner psychology in my certification courses and teach with this in mind. During my first experience in a salsa dance class, I stood at the back of the room, trying to remain inconspicuous. The instructor sought me out, physically corrected me multiple times, and subjected me to disparaging comments. That teacher’s approach showed a lack of understanding of the beginner’s angst – an angst that only deepens in many adults.
Nothing discourages a learner faster than disdain for their learning curve. Nothing ages us faster than refusing to learn something new.
The uncomfortable truth
The truth is, being a beginner is an inevitable part of life. Whether it’s learning updated technology, navigating new relationships, adapting to changing health realities, or starting a new job, the key is to embrace the process with openness and curiosity.
Unbelievable but true
Decades ago, an acquaintance of mine worked as a secretary. One of her tasks was to turn on her boss's computer each morning – because he didn’t know how to do it himself. While I wonder how he fared in the years that followed, I’m certain she thrived. Despite being older than her boss, she embraced learning, rewired her brain with new skills, and proved to herself that she could adapt.
Embracing being a beginner and continuing to learn new things as we age is highly beneficial. It can help maintain cognitive function, improve memory, boost mood, and help us "age gracefully." Some research even suggests that lifelong learning may play a role in reducing the risk of dementia.
So how can we shift our beginner’s angst, train ourselves to embrace being beginners at something, and even enjoy it?
Tips to shift the angst
1. Self-reflection
Self-reflection is a powerful yet sadly underused tool. We are not wild animals. We have this incredible ability to ask ourselves questions about our own actions, words, and thoughts.
“Why am I so self-critical when I do this?” “I always wanted to learn that—why don’t I try?”
A therapist is always a good idea to help unravel these thoughts.
The answers may be uncomfortable, but acknowledging them is the first step toward learning a new language, going on a date after eons, or something else entirely.
2. Flip the script
We all have inner dialogues, critiques. It is false to think that we are the victims of our own thoughts. We need to practice noticing our inner chatroom and flip the script.
“I'm a crappy parallel parker” vs. “I get better and better each time I park”
“I’m such a loser” vs. “I did the best I could at the time, I know better, do better”
The answers may be uncomfortable but acknowledging them is the first step toward learning a new language, going on a date after eons, and what else?
3. Empower our career
There are likely tasks you shy away from at work. Tasks you do not like or have been told that you are not good at. The more you do them, the better you will get at them! Perhaps you’re an IT professional who excels at programming but struggles to document progress or communicate updates. Without clear records, your brilliant programming may appear invisible to others: your team, the client, or your boss.
Don’t make excuses to anyone, especially yourself
Take responsibility for what you did and did not do
Promise to improve and take an action in that direction (no action is too small)
Be understanding with yourself.
When you commit to change, others will notice and they’ll likely extend patience and
support as you evolve.
The journey forward
Rewiring the brain is like carving a path through a dense forest. With consistency, that path becomes easier to navigate. We must celebrate our victories, no matter how small, to help build confidence and resilience. Embrace your mistakes. This takes vulnerability, but it is essential to personal growth. Learning new skills, adapting to change, and facing our fears are all opportunities to reshape our lives. Cultivate a compassionate mindset toward your learning curves, and you will inspire others to do the same.
Read more from Wendy S. Vigroux
Wendy S. Vigroux, Yoga Teacher of Teachers, Scholar
Wendy is a yoga teacher of teachers with decades of experience in the practice and teaching of yoga. One of her passions is the uncanny intersections where Western research validates the instructions for emotional regulation laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Wendy's dedication to both the ancient wisdom of yoga and the modern scientific approach has earned her the loving label of "Yoga Geek."
