It Took Cancer for Me to Finally Live My Best Life
- Apr 8
- 6 min read
Updated: Apr 15
Written by Jay Mannion, The Soul Coach
Jay is a soul coach and breathwork facilitator specialising in ECS Breathwork, a science-led approach that integrates oxygenation, nervous system regulation, and mind-body awareness. His work bridges physiology, psychology, and lived human experience to support lasting change.
Steve’s diagnosis of pancreatic cancer was the catalyst that propelled him to live his best life, not through external changes, but by transforming his inner world. In this article, Jay shares the powerful lessons he learned from Steve’s journey, highlighting the importance of embracing each moment and choosing to live fully. Through breathwork, gratitude, and mindfulness, Steve’s life was transformed, and so was Jay’s.
“Jay, it’s taken me getting cancer to live my best life as my best self.” I’ve never forgotten those words. They came from a man called Steve. He was 34. A business owner. A husband. A dad to two young children.
A working-class lad. Loved his football. Not spiritual. Not into meditation. Not into anything like that.
And he had just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
When I first started working with people with cancer, it began with my uncle. To this day, God rest his soul, he is my hero. A true human being. Caring, loving, kind. One of those people you simply felt better for being around.
After working with him, I stepped into working with people outside of my family. If I’m honest, that brought a whole new level of pressure. A lot of ego. A lot of doubt.
Because now it wasn’t just love guiding me. It was a responsibility. Expectation. Fear of getting it wrong. And then came Steve.
When Steve first reached out, he was exactly where you would expect him to be. Fear. Real fear. His whole life, as he knew it, felt like it had been ripped away from him. Not physically, but mentally. That is what the ego does. It jumps forward.
It catastrophises. It tells you everything you are about to lose before anything has actually happened. And Steve, like most of us, had spent his life building patterns.
Working. Providing. Being “the man”. Not sitting with his feelings. Not exploring them. Not understanding them. Just getting on with it.
One of the most powerful moments of my life happened during a session with him. It was on Zoom. His screen was off. Just his name. He was muted.
I had taken him through what I called a mindfulness exercise at the time, which I now understand was meditation.
And in that silence, my ego kicked in. Is he thinking this is rubbish? Is he going to cancel after this? Is he wondering what I’m talking about? All that noise. All that doubt. All that is needed for validation. Then suddenly his mic came on.
“Jay, it’s taken me getting cancer to live my best life as my best self”
I was blown away. Looking back, something shifted in Steve in that moment. But something shifted in me as well. Because if I’m being honest, part of what I felt was validation.
My ego had been in overdrive, telling me all the reasons why this 34-year-old lad, from a similar background to me, would think I was talking nonsense. Up until that point, I had built my identity on being logical. Science. Data. Evidence.
If it could not be measured, I struggled to trust it. But something had already started changing in me. Because I had seen something before Steve.
A woman called Debbie. The first non-family member I worked with was after my uncle. Without realising it at the time, she was showing me everything I now understand as the foundation of my work.
Her resilience. Her energy. The way she carried herself through something most people fear more than anything.
It did not come from logic. It came from something deeper. And to this day, she is still here.
Still showing up. Still living. Still choosing her best self. And what I had seen in Debbie, I was now witnessing in Steve.
From that moment on, something opened in him. All the things he had previously shut off, he stopped resisting. Because suddenly, none of that mattered anymore. What mattered was how he felt. What mattered was being alive. What mattered was his truth.
His raw, human desire to live. To be a husband. To be a dad. To be the man he knew he truly was. From that point on, Steve began to change. Not externally. His circumstances were the same.
But internally, everything shifted. He started to consciously appreciate every moment. To really feel it. Because when you strip everything back, feeling a moment is proof that you are still alive in it.
That became his focus.
Not the fear of what might happen, but the appreciation of what was happening. Even in his darkest moments, he found the strength to choose gratitude.
Not because everything was okay, but because he was still there to experience it. Then came a moment I will never forget. He called me. “Jay, I’m going to send you something. You need to try it.” I could hear the excitement in his voice. So, I said, alright, send it over. It was an 11-minute breathwork video.
At that point, I was still very much driven by logic. If it was not backed by data, I dismissed it. And if I’m honest, that is exactly what I did at first.
A bit of arrogance. A bit of ignorance. But I gave it a go anyway. What I was not told was that you probably should not be doing this while walking around your living room.
I was at home with my six or seven-month-old daughter, pacing as I followed the exercise. The first round felt incredible. Energised. Alive. So, I pushed harder. The next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor.
Looking up at my little girl, crying her eyes out, because her dad had just fainted in the living room. Thankfully, I did not hit my head. As strange as it sounds, that moment changed everything.
Because it was Steve, in one of the hardest moments of his life, who opened my eyes. To breathe. To presence. How lucky we are just to be here. Every breath is a moment.
Every moment is something we get to experience. And when it all comes to an end, what we really have is the collection of those moments. That is our life.
So let me ask you something. Try to answer it logically, not emotionally. Why did it take cancer for Steve? Why did he wait? And the bigger question is this. What are we all doing unconsciously?
One of the greatest lessons I have learned is this. Make the choice now. Not later. Not when life feels easier. Not when the timing feels right. Now.
Because I have heard too many regrets from incredible people. Different lives. Different stories. Same truth underneath. Waiting. Waiting to live. Waiting to speak. Waiting to feel. Waiting to become who they already are.
It should not take a diagnosis to wake us up. But for many people, it does. So, I will leave you with this. What are you waiting for?
Because the truth is, most people are not really living. They are existing. Living in fear. Comparing themselves. Trying to prove something. Stuck in the past or worrying about the future.
All while missing the only place life actually exists. Right now. Steve did not change his life. He changed how he lived it. And that changed everything.
Read more from Jay Mannion
Jay Mannion, The Soul Coach
Jay is a soul coach and the creator of ECS Breathwork, a structured breathing methodology designed to support physical regulation, mental clarity, and emotional balance. His work blends modern science with grounded coaching, helping people reconnect with their bodies and their sense of self.
Drawing on years of experience working with individuals from all walks of life, Jay focuses on sustainable change rather than quick fixes. His approach is practical, human, and deeply personal, meeting people where they are and guiding them forward with clarity and compassion.
