How Your Stress Quietly Shapes the Energy of Everyone Around You
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 3
- 5 min read
Updated: Jun 4
Written by Amna Abrar Khan, Health Coach
Dr. Amna Abrar Khan is a well-known health coach who specialised in making things simple, from understanding hormones, energy, nutrition, movement, and even managing stress. Her 'a simple step' program has been known to transform clients' lives so seamlessly into their routine.
Is stress contagious? Yes, 100% let’s get into it! We are living in a stress pandemic. It’s become so normalised that most of us don’t even realise that our bodies are in a state of chronic stress. Constant distractions and over stimulation leading to disconnection with the body. There are multiple ‘invisible’ stressors that we are constantly exposed to, its not just the big ‘obvious’ stressors that impact us, those are actually much more manageable, its the stressors that you don’t even realise are stressors that slowly accumulate over a long period of time, impacting personal health and effect those around us too.
Symptoms of chronic stress
Physical — aches and pains, back pain, headaches, recurrent infections, poor recovery, difficulty losing weight, belly fat, unexplained weight loss, brain fog, memory loss, difficulty waking up, low energy, difficulty going to sleep, tired even if you slept a long time, low libido, intense cravings for sugary or salty food, digestive issues, menstrual issues, among many more.
Emotional — irritability, frustration, feelings of overwhelm, despair, loneliness, fear of abandonment, reacting strongly to small triggers, emotional outbursts, feelings of ‘unfairness,’ helplessness. This can translate into difficult relationships and complaining all the time.
Spiritual — feelings of being disconnected, loss of meaning or purpose in life, feeling empty.
Mental — anxiety, worry, overthinking, negative thoughts, negative self-talk, catastrophising, imagining the worst possible outcomes, difficulty making decisions, difficulty concentrating, feeling like a victim.
What’s your stress language
Fight — You face stress head-on and defend yourself. While this shows strength, it raises cortisol. And it’s supposed to, but what if the stressor isn’t actually life-threatening? It’s a deadline for a project, a concern from your loved one, your child making a spill right after you cleaned the floor, being late for a meeting, or a traffic jam. Stress response turned on and ready to fight, you feel attacked. You’re looking for something and running late, instant fight mode on, you take it out on the people around you.
Flight — You avoid discomfort, doom scroll, binge eat, online shop, anything to keep you distracted and seemingly busy, fantasising about running away.
Avoiding the hard conversation, not fully understanding what to say, but just not wanting to deal with it right now. Stress response turned on, run away, the brain says deal with it later, it’s too much to cope with right now.
Freeze — You shut down under stress. Total disconnection, it’s the safest place for you right now. Faced with a threat or an attack, you don’t know what to say, what to feel, nothing makes sense. You just go blank, but life is going on. You need to get jobs done, kids to feed, work to do, so it continues, and that numb feeling stays with you.
Fawn — You avoid conflict. This can be mentally draining. You say things you don’t really mean to keep the peace, you feel your needs are not important, what you say will be dismissed or ignored, or maybe even taunted. So, to please the person and abandon yourself, the stress response is turned on subconsciously.
100% stress is contagious. Whatever you do impacts the next person, from body language to hand gestures, eye rolling, what you say, and how you say it.
How it works
1. Mirror neuron’s
Your brain has "mirror neurons" that mimic the emotions, facial expressions, and energy of those around you. If someone is visibly stressed, your nervous system may subconsciously mirror their state. And children do this all the time, as do adults. They copy how you talk when you are angry, the way you react. They don’t yet have the ability to regulate themselves, so they depend on their caregivers to show them what regulation looks like. But if the caregiver is super stressed, the child subconsciously mirrors that state.
2. Emotional resonance
This is the ability to feel what others feel. Humans are wired to connect, so we naturally "tune in" to others' moods. This is especially true in close relationships, like with family, partners, or co-workers.
It’s the ability to connect with another person’s emotional experience; you feel what they feel. It’s a nonverbal reflex response. It can impact decision-making, as we are designed to feel first before we act, which ultimately determines behaviour.
3. Cortisol signalling
Being around someone in a high-stress state can trigger your own cortisol response, even without anything happening to you directly. And if, in past experiences, you felt that feeling, the body remembers it and can switch on the stress response just by being in a similar situation.
4. Energy exchange
We are all energy. We absorb energy and we emit energy, through tone, pace, body language, and emotional energy. This is particularly crucial as we live in a community.
Why does this matter for hormones
Chronic exposure to other people’s stress can overload your adrenals, disrupt cortisol rhythms, and affect your sleep, mood, and cycle.
In group environments (like the workplace or home), stress can amplify, especially when it’s not consciously managed.
Empaths and highly sensitive people often feel this more strongly.
Translation into real life
I see this all the time with myself and my children. If I’m stressed and overwhelmed, I can instantly notice it in my children’s behaviour — they are frustrated, irritable, and lack the ability to regulate. They are picking up on it subconsciously as they are mirroring my state. I also notice it in myself. Have you ever entered a room and just felt the ‘tension’ in the air? You know something’s up, but you just don’t know what it is. This is because we can feel this energy.
It’s also evident when you spend time with people who drain you and people who add to your energy. I call them the drainers and chargers of life. Notice how you feel around different people and choose wisely where you want to spend your energy and where you want to be to recharge.
What you can do
Ground yourself with breathwork or a quick nervous system reset after intense social interactions. Starting the day with a few moments to sit in silence with yourself and set an intention for the day is helpful. I find that this is a really great way to structure the day.
Set boundaries with draining environments. Notice how you feel after meeting certain people or spending time in a place that leaves you exhausted and moody.
Choose calming inputs — create an environment that supports calm. Your external world reflects your inner world. Keeping your space neat and tidy, decluttering, and implementing simple steps like taking a walk to restructure your own energy can be helpful.
Practice nervous system regulation just like you would physical hygiene! Practice it before you actually feel like you are going to explode.
Learn not to take anything personally. People speak to you the way they view life, and it may have absolutely nothing to do with you.
Be responsible for protecting your energy.
If you want to learn how to manage stress with simple steps that actually work without overwhelm, reach out. I help stressed-out individuals learn how to regulate their nervous system and bring the mind and body back into alignment to live a fuller and happier life with thriving relationships.
Read more from Amna Abrar Khan
Amna Abrar Khan, Health Coach
Dr. Amna Abrar Khan is a health coach with a medical degree and a mother of three. After struggling with IBS, anxiety, hormonal imbalances, and an eating disorder, she discovered the profound impact of prioritizing sleep and holistic health. Now, she uses her medical expertise and personal experience to guide others toward sustainable well-being and vibrant living so that they know how to take care of themselves while they love to take care of the people around them because, ultimately, we are a community.
