How to Turn Fear Into Fuel With a Real-Life Guide to Taking Your Power Back
- Brainz Magazine
- 9 hours ago
- 7 min read
Greg Singleton is well known for his ability to get the best out of the person across from him. He is the founder of CSB Coaching, and he has transformed his experiences into a powerful coaching framework designed to help others empower themselves to live fulfilling lives.
For many of us, facing our greatest fears is daunting, to say the least. We tell ourselves stories I can’t do it, it’s too much spinning a narrative that cripples us from taking action. I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit that was (and maybe still is, but don’t tell anyone) me, before I confronted the big, bad fear.
You see, I’ve always had a deep fear of drowning, specifically, being trapped in the ocean after a boat sinks. (And yes, I also blame Jaws for the fear of sharks.) This narrative started when I was a young boy. My father and his best friend took me out on a small boat on the Hudson River during a time when the snipers were running. We traveled upstream until we neared a waterfall. Even though we were still far away, that’s when full-blown panic hit me. I vividly remember the fear and the vision of us getting pulled under the falls and trapped.
That fear stayed with me for years. But recently, the time came to face it on a cruise ship to the Bahamas. (Yikes.)
Needless to say, my inner voice went wild. The stories came flooding back, and that all-too-familiar feeling of fear crept right to the forefront of my mind.
But I’m happy to report I made it through. And I lived to tell the tale.
Top five things I learned after facing my biggest fear head-on
1. Stay present
Most of our fears are rooted in the past (like my childhood boat trip) or projected into the future, of what might happen. When we live in those worlds, the stories we create can become limitless. Science has shown that our memories are far less reliable than we think. What we remember is often a summarized narrative with an overarching emotional theme, filled in with more recent experiences that feel similar. We never remember things exactly as they were, and the more distance we have, the more our past is reshaped.
Our future, meanwhile, is filled with what-ifs, yeah-buts, and maybes. None of those things have happened yet. They might or they might not. The only place you’ll ever know for sure if your imagination is accurate is the present. No matter how wild your thoughts grow, they always find balance in the now.
I was incredibly nervous before we left port. But I had great people around me, and I focused on exploring the ship, learning my way around, and finding comfort in the discomfort. When the boat finally pulled away from shore, I made myself stand on the balcony and watch the land slowly disappear on the horizon. Once it was gone, my only reality was being on that ship. I was safe, aware, and calm enough to recognize that no actual danger was present, even while sitting in the middle of my greatest fear.
So take a deep breath. Look around. Focus on what is actually happening, right now. Often, our current reality is far less frightening than our imagination makes it out to be.
2. Reframe your perspective
Your perspective is vital when it comes to facing and conquering fear. How you mentally prepare will influence how you respond in the moment, so why not start with a clear outlook, open to outcomes that may challenge the story you’ve been telling yourself?
Reframe how you see the fear by practicing visualization. Picture yourself in the environment that triggers the fear, but instead of panicking, tell yourself: You’re safe. Avoid saying “you’re okay” because when we’re afraid, our minds and bodies know we don’t feel okay. The goal isn’t to deny your fear, but to anchor yourself in safety and possibility.
Use your imagination to your advantage. Don’t let it build the fear up; use it to bring the fear down. You’re already carrying the pressure of confronting it; don’t pile on a negative perspective before you even begin. When you start to visualize positive outcomes alongside the negative ones you’ve rehearsed for years, you create balance.
For me, I had to keep reminding myself: Thousands of people go on cruise ships every year. They live to tell the tale. Why can’t I? I pushed myself to envision feeling safe, supported, and proud that when it was all said and done, I made it.
3. Shift your mindset
Your mindset will determine how you interpret and respond to the situation you're facing in the present moment. When fear kicks in, your brain scrambles to process information, evaluating risk vs. reward, scanning for exit strategies, making judgments, and ultimately deciding: Fight or Flight?
While all of this is happening, remember to breathe. Shift your mindset toward what you know for sure, not what you’re guessing or projecting. Focus on the positives you can take away from the experience, and keep moving until you find a space mentally or physically where you feel safe.
On the cruise, the boat hit rough waters. Waves rocked us side to side, pounding the hull like a drum. In my room, I had to ground myself in what was actually happening.
Just because the boat was moving and the sound was loud didn’t mean I was in danger. I was still in a safe room. Nothing “bad” was happening.
Once I realized that, I knew I needed to take it a step further, so I changed my location. I moved to a lower deck near the center of the ship, where movement was less intense and I felt more physically stable.
That mindset shift allowed me to reframe the situation, seek safety, and stay grounded even while facing my biggest fear head-on.
4 . Master your focus
What we choose to focus on becomes our reality. When tunnel vision sets in, we get stuck. That’s when we need to broaden our focus. But when chaos sets in and everything feels vague or overwhelming, we need to narrow it instead.
Tunnel vision can strike at any point, especially when you're facing one of your biggest fears. To protect yourself, you may start predicting or rehearsing worst-case outcomes, believing that being “prepared” will help. But this only limits your ability to see the full range of possibilities, especially the ones that might actually serve you better.
Chaos, on the other hand, happens when we’re not focused enough, when we’re too scattered, or unsure of what’s happening or what needs to happen next. This lack of clarity fuels anxiety and fear, making it harder to regain a sense of control. But once you choose where to focus, fear begins to subside, and your outcomes start to feel more manageable.
When the boat began rocking steadily, I realized I needed to shift my focus away from the side-to-side movement. So I went down to the casino and just walked around. I watched people play poker, roulette, craps, and slots. Observing the fun, the laughter, and the excitement helped shift my attention away from fear and toward enjoyment.
Once my focus changed, so did my emotional state. My nervous system started to relax because I was no longer fixated on fear; I was rooted in fun.
5. Reflect and learn
There will come a time when facing your fear is over, and that’s when it’s time to evaluate what really happened. This is one of the most important steps in the entire process. It’s where you’ll experience your greatest leaps forward.
No fear lasts forever. Once you feel ready (preferably sooner rather than later), take time to reflect. Just remember your memory isn’t known for pinpoint accuracy. Reflect on what you thought, what you said, and the actions you took, both good and bad. But don’t forget to consider the inaction too. We all have 20/20 vision in hindsight, and there’s power in using that clarity to grow.
This reflection is crucial for building self-confidence. When you face the next challenge or fear, you’ll know deep down that you’ve done it before and you can do it again. The solutions you uncover for yourself become the foundation of lasting self-belief. No one can face your fears for you. It’s always a solo journey, but it’s one you never have to walk alone.
After the cruise, I took time to process both the positives and the challenges that came from facing my biggest fear. I get to be one of those people who “lived to tell the tale.” In my mind, the fear was a 200-pound gorilla on my back. But in reality? It wasn’t nearly as big or scary as I made it out to be.
Ultimately, what helped me push through the hardest moments was my awareness and my willingness to pivot.
Challenge yourself so you become more
Had I chosen not to face my fear, I would’ve never known the feeling of accomplishment and freedom I feel now.
Had I chosen not to go on the cruise, I would’ve missed the opportunity to let my girlfriend support me through one of my toughest moments.
Had I chosen to believe my fear was bigger than reality, I would’ve never discovered the confidence to take on more fears, one by one.
We all experience the world differently. For me, a cruise was crippling. For others, it’s no big deal. That contrast gave me a powerful, real-world reminder: even in the same environment, one person may thrive while another may crumble. And the difference?
Often, it comes down to mindset, preparation, and perspective.
What I can say for sure is that without these five steps, my outcome could’ve looked very different, and I’d probably still be giving that imaginary 200-pound gorilla a piggyback ride.
I’ve created a guide to help you break through limiting beliefs and build authentic confidence, the kind that empowers you to create the life you’ve always dreamed of. For a limited time, I'm offering Brainz Magazine readers a special discounted price on my playbook, How to Build A Better Life.. You can find it here. I hope this helps!
Read more from Greg Singleton
Greg Singleton, Perspective and Mindset Coach
Greg Singleton is a certified NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) peer-to-peer leader, and his coaching guides people with the correct perspective and mindset to overcome imposter syndrome, build confidence, and embrace a healthier mindset. He has dedicated the last 10 years to helping others overcome their fear and embrace their inner confidence to become who they strive to be. He is the CEO of CSB Coaching. His mission: Celebrate others, don't Alienate others.
