How to Speak So People Listen and Remember You
- 5 days ago
- 5 min read
Tetyana Didenko is a recognized expert in body language and nonverbal communication. As a body language analyst, executive coach, keynote speaker, and author of a book on nonverbal communication in business, she has spent the past decade helping professionals harness body language to excel in negotiations, sales, presentations, and leadership.
I have worked with executives who closed multi-million dollar deals and still felt nervous walking onto a stage. Not because they lacked intelligence or expertise. But because public speaking exposes something deeper, which is presence.
Most professionals prepare their content, very few prepare their nonverbal impact, and that is why many strong leaders are quickly forgotten after they speak.
Audiences do not remember slides first. They remember how you made them feel. Did you feel stable? Certain? Worth listening to? If your body says one thing and your words say another, the body wins every time.
You are judged before you speak
The evaluation starts the moment you become visible. Your walking speed, posture, where your eyes go, whether you rush to begin, or allow silence.
In my work with leaders, we often discover that the first mistake happens before the first word. They hurry to the center, nervously adjust the microphone, and begin speaking while still settling.
A leader arrives. Walk at a controlled pace. Shoulders open. Head neutral. Eyes calmly scanning the room. Stop. Stand. Hold one full second of silence.
That pause establishes authority more effectively than any opening quote. Within seconds, the audience decides whether to invest attention. You cannot negotiate that decision later with better slides.
Research supports what experienced speakers already sense intuitively. Studies on first impressions show that people form rapid judgments about competence and trustworthiness within seconds of seeing someone.[1] These impressions are heavily influenced by nonverbal cues such as posture, facial expression, and eye behavior. In other words, before your audience processes your ideas, they have already processed your presence.
Posture: Authority vs. approval
There are two speaking postures I see repeatedly. The posture of approval is subtle. Slightly collapsed chest. Weight shifting. Hands held close to the torso. A faint forward tilt of the head that says, “Do you agree with me?”
The posture of authority is structured. Feet grounded shoulder-width apart. Spine tall. Chest open without exaggeration. Shoulders relaxed but stable.
Grounded feet create grounded authority. When a speaker physically shrinks, their message shrinks. When their body communicates structure, their ideas gain weight.
Before your next presentation, check three things:
Are both feet firmly planted?
Is your chest open?
Is your head aligned, not tilted?
These are small adjustments. But the psychological shift is immediate.
Stillness is power
Nervous speakers move constantly, pacing, swaying, and gesturing without intention. Movement without structure signals internal instability. Strategic stillness signals control.
When delivering an important sentence, reduce movement. Pause. Let the words land. The brain remembers contrast. If everything moves, nothing stands out.
Use movement deliberately:
Change position when introducing a new key point.
Step forward when making a call to action.
Remain still when stating something critical.
In my sessions with clients, we often rehearse when not to move. That single change frequently transforms their presence more than adding new content ever could.
The voice body connection
Many professionals try to “fix” their voice. They practice tone, volume, and modulation. But the voice follows the body. When posture collapses, speech accelerates. When the body is grounded, the voice naturally slows and deepens.
Slow your pace by about ten percent. Most speakers rush. Slower speech increases perceived confidence and authority. Add deliberate pauses after key statements. Silence creates gravity.
Remove nervous micro-movements, such as touching the face, adjusting clothing, and clasping hands tightly. These signals of tension may seem small, but audiences read them subconsciously. When body and voice align, the message feels authentic.
Eye contact that builds trust
Eye contact is one of the strongest leadership signals on stage. Avoiding it suggests insecurity. Rapid scanning suggests anxiety. Staring too intensely creates discomfort.
Instead, hold eye contact with one person long enough to complete a thought. Finish the sentence, then shift calmly to another part of the room.
Divide large audiences into zones. Deliver each key idea to a different zone. This creates inclusion without chaos. People trust speakers who see them.
Nonverbal behaviors that kill credibility
Some habits immediately reduce authority:
Touching the neck or face repeatedly
Crossing arms protectively
Over-smiling during serious content
Nervous laughter after strong statements
Excessive nodding
Rocking back and forth
Another common pattern is the approval smile at the end of sentences, as if asking for validation. Leaders allow silence after statements. They do not soften every idea.
These behaviors are often unconscious. That is why video feedback or professional observation can be so powerful. What feels natural in your body may communicate something entirely different to the audience.
Avoiding these subtle signals can prevent awkward moments that undermine an otherwise strong presentation.
Creating memorability through contrast
Memorability is rarely about complexity. It is about contrast. Change tempo intentionally. Slow down for something important. Slightly increase energy when sharing momentum. Lower your voice for a key insight. Then pause.
Use one deliberate gesture for one powerful line. Do not repeat it constantly. The brain remembers what stands out.
You can also use spatial contrast. Deliver analytical information from one position. Deliver a personal story from another. Physical differentiation helps the audience encode information more effectively.
When I prepare clients for presentations, we intentionally map these contrasts. It prevents monotony and increases retention without theatrical exaggeration.
Conclusion: Presence is not accidental
Memorable public speaking is not about charisma. It is not about being the loudest voice in the room. And it is definitely not about having the most slides.
It is about alignment. When your posture communicates certainty, your voice carries weight. When your movement has structure, your message has structure. When your eye contact creates a connection, your ideas stay with people long after you leave the stage.
Most awkward moments in public speaking stem from unconscious nonverbal signals that quietly undermine credibility. And the challenge is that we rarely see our own blind spots.
That is why objective feedback can be transformative. A professional body language analyst can identify subtle behaviors you may not even realize you are repeating the slight shoulder collapse, the rushed transitions, the approval smile after strong statements. Correcting just a few of these patterns can dramatically elevate how you are perceived.
Strong speakers are not born. They are refined. If you want your audience to listen, remember you, and trust you, start with what they see before they hear.
Read more from Tetyana Didenko
Tetyana Didenko, Body Language Analyst | Executive Coach ICF
Tetyana Didenko is a globally recognized body language analyst and expert in nonverbal communication with over a decade of experience working with executives, entrepreneurs, and professionals worldwide. She is an executive coach, keynote speaker, and author of a book on nonverbal communication in the business world. With a background as a CEO and Director of Project Development, combined with advanced training in behavioral analysis, Tetyana helps clients strengthen their presence, persuasion, and leadership through the strategic use of body language. She is regularly invited as an expert, including appearances on podcasts and television.
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