How To Recognize If You Are Coachable
- Feb 18, 2022
- 5 min read
Written by: Stacey Ruth, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There still remains a great deal of confusion around what coaching is, and is not, even though it is one of the fastest-growing industries today. If we don’t know what coaching is, it can be impossible to recognize if someone is coachable or not. In case you are one of the ones who are wondering whether you (or your client) is coachable, please remember, coaching isn’t therapy. Nor is it consulting. Coaching helps us gain our own insights, and it provides us tools for personal growth, in diverse areas such as health, spirituality, grief, business, leadership, etc., where we are ready to take action for greater success.
Unlike therapy, coaching is forward-focused, and action-oriented, foregoing exploration of the past, or the “why” behind a situation. Also, unlike consulting, coaching uncovers your own inner insights, preferences and approaches instead of dictating a formula or predetermined plan. Given the general lack of clarity about how coaching works, it is crucially important for both the coach and coachee to understand whether the coachee is truly coachable before entering into an arrangement. Thankfully, the clues to someone’s coachability are universal.
1. Ready for Change. It’s one thing to say we want a fresh result, and an entirely different thing to make the changes in our thinking and behavior in order to create that result. The hallmark of true readiness (as compared to theoretical readiness) is threefold: first, the individual is self-aware and knows the change will only happen from within; second, they know what they want (even if it is initially finding out what they want); and third, they are willing to try new (sometimes uncomfortable) things to get there.
2. Outside the Comfort Zone. Growth doesn’t happen in areas where we already have mastery. It happens when we stretch our skills, abilities and talents. That often doesn’t feel entirely safe or comfortable, which is why it is so important that the client trust their coach. Be certain you get a coach you are confident will not push you to do things that are harmful or foolhardy. Otherwise, you will feel uncoachable, when, in fact, your coach has stepped outside of what coaching truly is.
3. Goal-Oriented. Process-Focused. Coaching is, ultimately, about achieving a goal. A series of sessions might contain foundational work to prepare the client for the goal, and thus, can seem elongated. That is why it is important to have a goal that provides ample motivation, making it worth the wait, and, at the same time, be committed enough to the process itself to stay the course.
4. Committed to Action. Transformation does not happen in a vacuum. Coaching clients who are willing to take committed, accountable action (even if it isn’t perfect, or 100% complete) between sessions, are the ones who achieve the coaching results we all see touted as proof of coaching’s incredible success. Similarly, coaches who expect this action, and set the client up to take it, are great coaches.
5. Open-minded. It is excruciatingly difficult to coach anyone who is fiercely attached to how things must be done, or still grappling with any sort of internal trauma. The first will come to a coaching session rigid, and unwilling to be vulnerable in any way. The second will be fragile, defensive, and easily offended. Open-mindedness exists in an individual who rarely feels threatened or anxious, is willing to try unfamiliar approaches, test them, and adjust as needed. Rather than anxiously resisting making a change, they explore and are curious about any resistance they may feel.
6. Self-advocacy. Clients who expect a coach, however actively the coach listens, and however closely aligned the coach’s style aligns with their own, to read their mind, and always anticipate their unspoken needs, are truly uncoachable. Self-advocating clients know how to raise their hands and say what they need in the moment, without fear of disappointing the coach. They see coaching as a collaboration between equals, who are on an amazing journey together—which is the true nature of coaching.
7. Passionate About Personal Growth. There are two schools of thought about personal growth – the sort where we go within and explore our motivations, and heal our wounds, and the sort where we actively build our tools, skills and insights in order to grow our influence and impact. Both types of personal growth are important. However, the former is more effectively dealt with in therapy, while the latter is squarely in the realm of coaching. If someone is deeply immersed in their inner healing work, it will become difficult to achieve the goal in a timely fashion.
8. No Scapegoats. Clients who are coachable rarely feel like a victim. A challenging situation is an opportunity to grow, not a place to cast blame or feel like a failure. Most importantly, if a coach is truly coaching (asking powerful questions to uncover insights and approaches, rather than advising or teaching), the client does not use the coach as an excuse for any lack of progress. They stick with the process, keep asking questions, assessing why obstacles are blocking them, and lean on the coach to keep them steadily going in the direction of their dreams.
Well-trained coaches know how to ask the questions that help both the coach and the client decide if coaching is a good fit. Clients invest both their time and financial resources in coaching arrangements. It is important to know if you can be coached, so you don’t waste precious time or resources when it is not the right answer or right time. If you think you might be ready to try coaching yourself, sign up for your free coaching assessment here.
Stacey Ruth, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Leadership Coach, Stacey Ruth, is an acclaimed marketer, entrepreneur, minister, and founder of two multimillion-dollar agencies. She has been named one of the Top 50 Entrepreneurs in Atlanta and twice as one of the Top 100 “It” Agencies by Experiential Marketer Magazine. She did all this while struggling with two failed marriages, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, and stress-related health issues. This inner crash from outer success triggered the spiritual journey that took her to Manchu Picchu and had her walking across the fire. This was when she learned how we all could rise above circumstances to become irresistible and unstoppable. Today, Stacey advocates for leaders ready to reach their next level with clarity and confidence ‒ most especially women leaders like herself. Stacey is the author of Own Your Own Shift: The Power, Passion, and Freedom to Be Unstoppable.
