How To Know When We Are Resistant To Change
Written by: Kristen Bilodeau, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It is undeniable that we, individually and collectively, have experienced many lessons in change over the past two years. How often do we resist, battle, judge, or try to manipulate change rather than trust it, believe it, or accept it? Change brings about some of the greatest lessons, insights, and much needed shifts that lead to growth in our lives; yet often we find ourselves in need of accepting or surrendering to that which we cannot control in order to invite this change into our lives.
Over the past two years, amidst turmoil and turbulence in the world that seemed to occur weekly ‒ if not daily; I can recall the feeling that this new current reality of disruptive change was becoming the norm. I remember thinking, ironically, back to how I perceived disruptions in routine and status quo of my daily life (ie: pre-pandemic) and thinking “Hell, why not embrace change now since it seems to be happening on unprecedented levels?” It seemed like a freeing thought; why not surrender to possibility? Yet there were some caveats to that. First and foremost, I was never someone who enjoyed shifting and the risks and pivots that it caused, Secondly, I questioned what change, pivoting, and taking risks would even look and feel like in a world that seems to be in so much flux. Lastly, was I willing to admit to my fears of change and embrace the freedom that comes with surrender and total faith in the universe’s plan? These thoughts lead to me ponder the following situations where we resist change: We are fearful of the unknown Often, the mere thought of change can create fear because we doubt our own capabilities to rise to any challenges that change creates. We may be conditioned to think that what is on the other side of change is more challenging; not the opposite.
Creating fearful stories about what change will mean in our lives is just that ‒ a story we create. We can change the story; reconceptualize it instead of continuing to believe the version that isn’t serving us.
We believe that our plan, or “a plan” is the only possible outcome
Are you the type of person who rests on the belief that you know what is best for you and your life circumstance? Do you have the events of your life already mapped out? Do you believe that certain outcomes are “meant to be” or destined to be ‒ for better or worse? Do you see limitations or obstacles blocking a greater version of success in your life? There is great power in visualization and manifestation in creating the life of your desires; but if you are limited by your choices or beliefs in what is possible, this can create barriers to changes that could have an incredible impact on your life decisions.
We put too much stock in what others think or believe should happen
Do you find yourself in comparison traps or overly concerned with other people’s versions of success and happiness that you lose touch with what brings you joy and happiness? This is an insidious and destructive mode of thinking. In a social media-driven world combined with pressure to achieve great success, getting lost in what society, culture, or others believe is how we should measure success or achievement can create resistance to changes that could expand our lives in immeasurable ways. Gaining awareness of these limiting beliefs and freeing yourself from them can be the first step in achieving great levels of positive change in your life.
Breaking down barriers to change and opening ourselves up to possibilities, for many, not only a mindset shift but a willingness to get honest with ourselves about what is holding us back from making space in our lives for change. By having the courage to shift our way of thinking and trust that change is the growth we invite in great possibilities.
Kristen Bilodeau, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
As a Personal Development and Marriage Coach, Kristen Bilodeau leads women through their own personal journey of finding their voice, healing their marriage, and releasing their inner wild woman. As a woman who struggled in her own journey to self-awareness and truth in her life and marriage, Kristen uses the power of a woman’s story as the tool and catalyst for change, healing, and growth. She helps women uncover their truth through questioning and reflection so that they are able to be the creator of their experiences and thrive as the woman they were meant to be.
