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How to Detach From Your JOB and Re-Discover Who You Are

Written by: Vicki Ravangard, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Have you ever wondered what you would do if your job was taken away from you tomorrow? Who would you be without it? How would you define your self-worth?

These are all of the questions I found myself asking back in April when I was furloughed. I am into my seventh month of the furlough scheme and as I prepare to go back to work in November, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on everything that this period has taught me and offer a new perspective on how to look at our relationship with our careers.

When I first heard the news about being placed on furlough, I had very mixed emotions. This is the first time since I started working at the age of 16 that I would be out of work, and I’m sure many of you found yourselves in a similar position. I was filled with uncertainty and confusion - part of me was grateful for the time off I was gifted, but another part of me wanted to continue working and do what I could to help.

As the months went on and with time on my hands, I spent a lot of time discovering who I was. I invested heavily in the personal development world, working with excellent coaches & mentors, and even birthed my own spiritual coaching business into the world. The veil started to lift between me and my job, which led to a minor identity crisis. I started to realize that I had been hiding behind my work for all these years and gradually, over time, as I spent so long trying to be the perfect employee, I lost touch with who I really was.

I had placed so much of my self-worth to my job that I didn’t know who I was without it and when it was no longer there for me to fall back on, I felt completely lost. I had attached energetic cords to my work that I would feed from – a bit like a baby in the womb feeding from an umbilical cord! This cord was breathing life into me. When things were great, I felt amazing but when things were bad, I felt awful.

Does this sound familiar?

These cords created an emotional dependency, and these aren’t just connected with our jobs. They can occur with anything outside of ourselves that we place importance and value on. Our way of seeking validation and worth through external sources gives us a temporar