How Star Wars Helped Me Discover Who I Really Am
Updated: Apr 10
David Fisher is an award-winning international speaker, executive communication coach, actor and author. Named one of LA Weekly’s “Top 30 Entrepreneurs to Watch” and a Top 10 Speaking Coach by Yahoo Finance, David brings over two decades of experience helping teams communicate and lead with passion, clarity, and intention.
When I was growing up with my grandfather, I never asked the question, “Who am I?” I did not know that was something I could do. I also did not like who I was. I knew what my grandfather was saying was wrong when he would complain about people who were too liberal or didn’t look like us, but I had no context or history with which to defend it. Bullied in school, I had no confidence with which to speak up in a situation that may have brought conflict. Yet I desperately wanted to play the hero.
For those of you who are conflict avoidant, I understand. I still feel my heart rate rise when there is a disagreement over something as simple as where to go out to eat.
I have learned the tools to manage it, but it’s still there, like sweeping dust under the carpet. I am clean and calm on the outside, but inside I am dusty, and I want to sneeze.
At 12 years of age, I would lie in bed at night and imagine myself being what I saw in the movies or on TV. I began to lucid dream as a preteen to escape reality. I did not even know that was a thing people learned to do! I created whole stories, whole worlds, inside my head.
Who was I? In my dreams, I was one person. In real life, I was someone different. There is a Star Trek Next Generation episode, “Hollow Pursuits,” where one of the characters is too shy to interact with the other members of the crew in real life, so he spends his time, even to the point of addiction, in the holodeck, a place where he can live out his own fantasies and become the person he wants to be. I was this person.
A word of encouragement. This is not about being shy or introverted. This is about not knowing oneself or not liking oneself. This is about the disconnect between who you are and who you want to be. You do not have to be an extrovert to change the world. You just have to be you. I am an ambivert, in the middle between the two. There is no such thing as introvert or extrovert. There is a bit of both in all of us, although many lean one way or the other.
For me, this was the hollowness in the pit of my stomach that I did not have words for at the time. Growing up in the mountains, the stars in all their splendor would shine down between the trees in the clear skies and high altitude. I would lie on the grassy hill, one I had to mow every week, and look up and imagine myself traveling through the galaxy.
Who was I? All I knew was that I did not like the answer to the question I was not asking. Then I discovered Star Wars.
Some would argue that Star Wars is not a literary masterpiece, and I would be in a difficult position to argue otherwise. However, a friend of mine who also proudly claims to be a literary snob, and truthfully an expert, says Star Wars is an obvious and beautiful example of the hero’s journey. Lucas follows this formula so precisely that you could pop in at the middle of the movie, never having seen it before, and understand where you are in the story arc. You can take a good guess at what happens next in the plot. Star Wars is the perfect example of how our brains are trained to tell, remember, and be influenced by stories.
This is why plot twists can be so effective. Darth Vader is Luke’s father. We expect one thing because we have told the hero’s journey for thousands of years. When something unexpected happens, it hits us at the core of who we are. Lucas throws in the twist, and still follows the hero’s journey in predictable and profoundly effective ways.
For me, as a young boy with no literary understanding, it worked. It made a deep impression on my life. Suddenly I was not alone. Someone understood me. It sounds trite, and writing it now almost seems silly, but as a young boy, Luke Skywalker became my mentor. Here was someone who was as unhappy with his life as I was with mine, and through circumstance and tragedy, he found a way out. The death of my father and the bullying in school fit the tragedy. Now I just needed circumstances to change.
That would not come until years later. I still did not know the words or context to describe my situation, but I began to explore the question, “Who am I?”
First, we see Luke as a farmer on Tatooine, but would he call himself a farmer? I would argue that he would not. He would say that is what he does, but it is clear in his conversations with his aunt and uncle, and with Obi Wan Kenobi, that he did not want to be a farmer. He wanted to join the resistance, maybe for glory, or for defending the galaxy, but mostly for adventure with his friends. Luke held the position of farmer, but inside he was an adventurer. This is the beginning of his hero’s journey. Something we will talk about later.
I did not know who I was, but now I knew who I was not. Let me ask you a question. Who are you? Take away your title, your job, and your relationship status. Take away your hobbies that distract you from the worries of life. Take away your family position, and your past. Take away the stories you tell about yourself, and the stories others tell about you. Sit naked in the forest.
Who are you?
You may not know the answer. That is not important. What is important is that you ask the question. Reach down, ground yourself, feel your feet on the ground, firmly planted, take a breath, and ask yourself, Who am I?
Read more from David Fisher
David Fisher, Global Public Speaker and Communication Coach
Through A Culture of Us™ David Fisher teaches companies, institutions, and everyday leaders how to work with passion, communicate with clarity, and lead with intention, all toward strengthening their connections to create positive change, while having fun along the way. His keynotes, workshops, coaching sessions, and trainings are not just about bettering communication and leadership, they are about genuine transformation.
His approach is simple: A Culture of Us™ helps each of us tap into the hero within, and use that power toward working with others and leading with vulnerability and strength.
