How Are the Bonds in Your Network?
Updated: Sep 10
With a background in philosophy, education, and psychology, this former athlete is the founder of Mindset of an Athlete Consulting. Millicent Sykes is the one exploring how expectations and standards impact our perspective and performance.
The continued exploration and development of my consulting business has inspired me to evaluate the practices of business. One aspect I have been indoctrinated in since elementary school, it seems, is the practice of networking. Utilizing my background in counseling psychology as an adjunct professor and therapist, I will frame networking using family theoretical frameworks.
The questions I am considering are provided below.
How do we define and communicate roles, expectations, and assumptions? When the bond is defined based on strength, how do we adjust and change?
What’s the perceived hierarchy of the network and associated roles?
How do we communicate satisfaction and dissatisfaction with roles and interactions in a network?
When does the analogy of “family” become irrelevant and obsolete?
Roles, expectations, and assumptions within a network are defined through communication, shared experiences, organizational structure, and established patterns of interaction. From a Structural Family Therapy perspective, healthy systems depend on clear boundaries and roles so members understand their responsibilities and how they relate to one another. Bowen Family Systems Theory emphasizes that individuals also bring emotional expectations and assumptions into relationships, which can shape how roles are understood. These expectations should be communicated openly rather than left unspoken.
When a bond is defined by strength, trust, or shared history, changing the relationship can be difficult because members may resist disrupting an established pattern. However, networks must adapt as circumstances, responsibilities, and individual needs change. Adjustments can occur through honest dialogue, renegotiating expectations, redefining boundaries, and acknowledging changes in power or responsibility. A strong bond should provide stability while still allowing flexibility. Ultimately, healthy networks recognize that roles are not permanent, they can evolve when members communicate clearly, respect boundaries, and remain willing to renegotiate the relationship as the system changes.
For more details about Bowen’s Family Systems Theory, check out this article.
The perceived hierarchy of a network refers to how members understand differences in authority, influence, status, and responsibility within the system. From a Structural Family Therapy perspective, hierarchy is necessary because groups function through leadership, boundaries, and defined roles. In a company or professional network, formal hierarchy may be represented by executives, managers, supervisors, and employees, while informal hierarchy can develop through expertise, relationships, reputation, or access to decision-makers.
Bowen Family Systems Theory suggests that individuals also respond emotionally to differences in power and authority, which can influence communication and relationships. A person’s role affects how much influence they have, what decisions they can make, and how others respond to them. When hierarchy is clear and appropriately structured, members are more likely to understand expectations and communicate effectively.
However, when formal and informal hierarchies conflict, tension may arise. For example, someone without an official leadership title may have significant influence, while a manager may possess authority but lack relational trust. Understanding both formal and perceived hierarchy helps explain how roles, communication, and power operate within a network.
In a network, satisfaction and dissatisfaction with roles and interactions are communicated through both direct and indirect forms of communication. From a Bowen Family Systems perspective, individuals need to balance connection with differentiation, allowing them to express concerns without becoming emotionally reactive or disconnected.
Satisfaction can be communicated through appreciation, positive feedback, participation, and a willingness to collaborate. Dissatisfaction may be expressed through constructive criticism, setting boundaries, reduced engagement, or directly addressing conflict. Structural Family Therapy emphasizes the importance of clear roles and boundaries, therefore, people should communicate when responsibilities feel unclear, unequal, or inappropriate.
Healthy networks create opportunities for open dialogue, active listening, feedback, and negotiation. Rather than viewing dissatisfaction as disloyalty, it can be understood as information about the health of the relationship or system. Effective communication allows members to clarify expectations, repair strained interactions, and renegotiate roles when necessary.
Ultimately, satisfaction and dissatisfaction are best communicated openly, respectfully, and with an emphasis on maintaining both individual needs and the overall health of the network. While not saying networks are families, oftentimes they can begin to feel as such. We usually gravitate toward what feels familiar, and those bonds usually start in our families.
For more details on how leadership can shape and impact networks and sense of connection, check out this article.
Networks and companies are often described as “families” because they involve relationships, shared goals, communication patterns, and expectations of loyalty. Family counseling theories, however, suggest that this analogy becomes irrelevant when organizational relationships no longer function like genuine family systems.
From a Structural Family Therapy perspective, families have relatively stable roles, boundaries, and hierarchies, while companies are primarily structured around professional roles and organizational objectives. Calling coworkers “family” can blur these boundaries and create unrealistic expectations of loyalty or personal sacrifice.
Bowen Family Systems Theory also highlights the importance of differentiation, the ability to maintain emotional independence while remaining connected to others. In a workplace, employees need this differentiation to make objective decisions rather than allowing emotional loyalty to override professional judgment.
The family analogy becomes obsolete when an organization uses it to discourage healthy boundaries, justify unequal treatment, or imply that employees owe the company unconditional loyalty. Unlike families, employment relationships are generally voluntary, contractual, and subject to change.
Therefore, while “family” can describe a sense of belonging, it becomes problematic when it replaces clear boundaries, accountability, and professional expectations.
Can the same concept apply to professional networks? Of course! There is an art to networking, and researchers have analyzed the associated personality traits and types of networking that increase success.
For more details about what this looks like, check out this article.
If you’re interested in evaluating your network, networking skills, and business goals, schedule a consultation!
Read more from Millicent Sykes
Millicent Sykes, Founder of Mindset of an Athlete Consulting
As a trained ballerina since the age of 5, Millicent Sykes has had a focus on standards and performance. Due to two injuries, Millicent was encouraged to pivot toward a different phase of execution. Perspective, decision-making, and self-expression are the main components of Mindset of an Athlete Consulting, where Millicent attempts to help master complexity.
References:
Brown, J., & Errington, L. (2024). Bowen Family Systems Theory and Practice: Illustration and critique revisited. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 45, 135-155. DOI: 10.1002/anzf.1589
Uster, A., Vashdi, D., & Beeri, I. (2022). Enhancing Local Service Effectiveness Through Purpose-Oriented Networks: The Role of Network Leadership and Structure. American Review of Public Administration, 52(4), 298-316. DOI: 10.1177/02750740221084336
Akkas, A. (n.d.). Role of Networking Skills in Career Success. Management Education for Achieving Sustainable Development, 13-39. DOI: 10.57240/DUJMBK02
