top of page

Here Are 4 Bits Of Advice On How To Stop Seeking Approval From Others

  • Mar 7, 2023
  • 4 min read

Updated: Mar 13, 2023

Written by: Adrian Holguin, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Seeking the approval of others is something that many people do without even realizing it. From a young age, we are taught to seek validation from our parents, teachers, and peers. While seeking approval can be beneficial in some cases, it can also be dangerous and detrimental to our mental and emotional well-being.

A photo of 4 thumps up fingers on a table.

When we seek the approval of others, we are essentially giving them power over us. We allow their opinions and judgments to influence our thoughts and actions, often at the expense of our own desires and needs. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, voice disappearing, and a lack of confidence in our own abilities.


Furthermore, seeking approval can cause us to engage in behaviors that are not true to ourselves. We may change our appearance, our beliefs, or our values in order to fit in with a certain group or gain the approval of a certain individual. This can lead to a loss of authenticity and a lack of fulfillment in our lives.


In order to avoid getting trapped in an approval cycle, we must first recognize who we are asking for approval from or who we expect approval from.


It can be very helpful to receive approval from others, but it is not always a good thing. Approval can sometimes be worse than no approval at all. As a result, it's crucial to be able to distinguish between good and bad. Before seeking approval, here are four tips from my personal experience to consider:


1. Identify the Source


Determine if the person giving the approval has the expertise or experience to provide relevant guidance. One of the most important things you can do is to identify the source of the approval. Determine if the person has the relevant expertise or experience to provide guidance that is relevant to your specific situation. For example, if you're looking for financial decision approval, it's important to seek advice from someone who has experience in finance and investing. It's important to be clear about what you want to achieve and why you are seeking approval. This will help you to evaluate the source of the advice and assess whether they are qualified to provide guidance.


2. Consider Your Goals


Think about if the approval or advice aligns with your goals and values. You should also consider your goals and values before seeking approval. Consider whether the approval or advice you seek aligns with your goals and values before following it blindly. When it doesn't align with your goals or values, it may not be beneficial to your success. It is important to understand why you seek a certain source of approval and what you intend to accomplish. It will help you evaluate whether your goals and values are aligned with them.


3. Do Your Research


Conduct your own research to verify the accuracy and helpfulness of the approval. The best way to verify the accuracy and usefulness of what you are looking for is to conduct your own research. You can also gain a better understanding of the subject matter, which can lead to more informed decisions. Also, you might be able to identify potential risks or pitfalls by doing your own research. By doing so, you can avoid approval and make better decisions.


4. Trust Your Instincts


Ultimately, you should follow your instincts and judgment when deciding what to do. Ultimately, you should trust your own instincts and judgment when taking a decision or following a direction. If something doesn't feel right, it's okay to ask for additional guidance. You know yourself and your situation better than anyone else, so trust your instincts and make the decisions that are right for you. By doing this, you can avoid approval and make better decisions.


Breaking the cycle of seeking approval is not easy, but it is possible. The first step is to become aware of the behavior and how it is affecting your life.


Next, work on building your self-esteem and confidence. This can be done through self-reflection, positive self-talk, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.


Finally, learn to trust your own instincts and judgment. Remember that you are the expert on your own life, and your opinions and beliefs are just as valid as anyone else's. Trusting yourself and being true to yourself is the key to living a fulfilling and authentic life.


In conclusion, seeking the approval of others can be dangerous and detrimental to our mental and emotional well-being. By becoming aware of our behavior, building our self-esteem and confidence, and learning to trust our own instincts and judgment, we can break the cycle of seeking approval and live a more fulfilling and authentic life.


Do not forget that your opinions and beliefs are equally valid as anyone else's, and you deserve the right to live a life that is true to yourself. It is important to emphasize that you don't have to seek any approval from anyone else in your life. The only person who has a right to your life is you, and you are responsible for the choices you make. Never let anyone make you feel less. Making a decision does not require being rude. Instead, stand by your instincts with emphasis and temper. You'll be amazed at how much happier and fulfilled you can be when you start living life on your own terms.


"Change your thoughts, change your life.”

Follow me on Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info!


Adrian Holguin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Adrian Holguin is a leading industry executive and thought leader. Holguin has developed long-term growth strategies for companies in order to increase their revenue. Holguin has collaborated with top executives to understand their demands, develop practical solutions, implement procedures to address your problems, and develop innovations and transformation strategies that create value. Throughout his career, Holguin has worked for international corporations as well as small and medium-sized companies in the food industry. He is dedicated to helping individuals change their mindset so that they can achieve everything that they desire in life. "Change your thoughts, change your life" is his karma.

 
 

This article is published in collaboration with Brainz Magazine’s network of global experts, carefully selected to share real, valuable insights.

Article Image

Four Things Leaders Must Get Right to Make Digital Transformation Actually Work

Many organizations do not fail at purchasing technology; they fail at the subsequent digital transformation activities: how the workflow changes, whether staff have the skills to adjust and perform...

Article Image

Your Color Season Isn’t Supposed to Put You in a Box

You finally find out your color season, get your palette, go home, look at your closet, and suddenly think, “Wait... am I allowed to wear any of this anymore?” This is where color analysis can go a little...

Article Image

10 Ways to 5X Your Business by the End of 2026

You don’t need to become less human to become more successful. You need to become better at being human because your business can only expand to the degree that you can hold the...

Article Image

There's Nothing Wrong With You, You've Just Been Stuck in Survival Mode

You've done the work. You've gone to therapy, read the books, followed the frameworks, and still, self-sabotage shows up right when you're closest to the goal: the video you don't post, the book you...

Article Image

Who Am I When I’m No Longer Needed in the Same Way?

A month ago, my husband and I travelled to spend time with our adult children. Like many parents, I had quietly imagined what those few days would look like. Long conversations. Family bonding.

Article Image

The Three T’s of Relationships and How to Audit Your Inner Circle and Protect Your Peace

Many relationships collapse under the weight of a beautiful yet deeply misunderstood ideal: unconditional love. We are often conditioned to believe that true devotion means staying "no matter what."

Four Things Leaders Must Get Right to Make Digital Transformation Actually Work

Your Color Season Isn’t Supposed to Put You in a Box

5 Reasons the Teen Years Are the Greatest Opportunity Your Child Has to Shape Who They Become

10 Evidence-Based Nutritional Supports for Women

Why Kobido is the Future of Natural Facial Rejuvenation

What Happens When These 4 Pressures Take Command

The Difference Between Rest and Retreat

11 Ways the Performing Arts Build Confidence and Practical Life Skills in Young People

The Practice of Returning and Why Yoga and Meditation Are More Than Wellness

bottom of page