Healing From Narcissistic Abuse Through Hypnotherapy – An Interview with Lisa Forsberg
- 2 days ago
- 7 min read
Known as The Healthy Hypnotherapist, Lisa Forsberg is one of Australia's leading specialists in narcissistic abuse recovery. A survivor of narcissistic abuse herself, Lisa brings both lived experience and deep clinical expertise to her work, creating a space where clients feel truly understood, often for the first time. She works with adults, teens, and children across Australia and worldwide, helping them heal from toxic relationships, rebuild their sense of self, and break free from repeating cycles. Lisa also mentors fellow hypnotherapists who want to work confidently in this deeply nuanced field.
Lisa Forsberg, Clinical Hypnotherapist
What inspired you to turn your own healing journey into a practice dedicated to helping survivors of narcissistic abuse?
It was my own experience of healing after leaving a relationship marked by years of psychological, physical, and financial abuse that inspired the work I now do. Along the way, I saw such a gap in what was being offered to people trying to recover from this kind of experience. I saw psychologists, counsellors, joined women's circles, and more. These things all helped me understand the abuse, but none of them helped me feel any different on the inside or actually move on. I was still highly anxious, stressed, and hypervigilant, always waiting for the next terrible thing to happen. I never felt peaceful or at ease.
Hypnotherapy was the turning point that gave me back my peace. Doing the deep subconscious work changed me from the inside out. I gained clarity, my nervous system calmed, I felt safe again, and I was able to trust myself. Hypnotherapy changed my life so rapidly and dramatically that I decided to change my career so I could eventually support others who were looking for the same healing and transformation I once was.
What are some of the subconscious patterns that often keep people stuck in toxic relationships longer than they realize?
One of the biggest patterns I see is the fawn response, where someone instinctively appeases, people pleases, or shrinks themselves down to keep the peace and avoid conflict. It often develops in childhood as a survival strategy, and without realizing it, people carry that same pattern straight into their adult relationships. It can feel like love or loyalty when, really, it's a nervous system trying to stay safe.
Another is trauma bonding, where the highs and lows of a toxic relationship create a powerful, almost addictive attachment. The nervous system becomes wired to crave the relief that follows the pain, which makes leaving feel far harder than it should.
I also see people unconsciously repeating relationship dynamics from childhood. If someone grew up trying to earn love or approval from an unpredictable or critical parent, that same pattern can quietly replay itself with a partner later in life. I wrote about this hidden pattern in more depth in my Brainz Magazine article, "The Hidden Pattern Behind Narcissistic Relationships, and How to Break the Cycle."
These patterns aren't about weakness or poor judgment. They're learned, often very early, and that's exactly why subconscious work can be so effective in unlearning them.
Why has hypnotherapy become such a powerful tool in your work with narcissistic abuse recovery?
Hypnotherapy works at the subconscious level, which is exactly where these patterns live. Talking therapies are incredibly valuable for understanding what happened and why, but understanding alone doesn't always change how we feel or react. You can know, logically, that you deserve better and still feel anxious, unworthy, or drawn back into familiar dynamics. That's because the patterns formed by trauma sit beneath conscious thought, in the nervous system and the subconscious mind.
Hypnotherapy allows us to access that deeper level directly. By guiding someone into a relaxed, focused state, we can gently work with the beliefs, emotional responses, and protective patterns that were created during the abuse, often without them even needing to consciously relive it. We can calm an overactive nervous system, soften old beliefs like "I'm not good enough" or "I can't trust myself," and help someone reconnect with a sense of safety and self-trust from the inside out.
What do you think the wider mental health conversation still misunderstands about emotional and psychological abuse?
There's still a common assumption that the abuse ends the moment someone leaves the relationship. In reality, for so many of the women I work with, it doesn't stop there. It can continue for years through custody battles, financial control, stalking, smearing their reputation, or refusing to settle property matters. This isn't a typical separation. When a narcissist loses control, their need to destroy becomes one of their greatest motivators, and that drive often intensifies once the relationship ends.
So often, family and friends say, "Just move on." But you can't, not in the way they mean. For women co-parenting with a narcissistic ex, parenting itself becomes another arena for control, turning this precious phase of life into a constant, exhausting battle with the other parent. Because this can continue until the children reach adulthood, or even longer, many of these women are eventually diagnosed with CPTSD and other stress-related illnesses, such as autoimmune conditions.
Recovery, in these cases, isn't just about the past. It's about learning to protect your peace in a situation that's still ongoing.
Have you noticed any common themes among survivors from different backgrounds and countries?
What's struck me most, working with women from so many different countries and backgrounds, is how similar the underlying experience is, even when the cultural context looks completely different. The specific pressures might differ. For some women, it's family expectation. For others, it's religious or cultural beliefs around marriage. For others, it's financial dependence or visa and migration status. But underneath all of that, the emotional experience is almost identical. The same self-doubt, the same hypervigilance, the same slow erosion of identity.
I also notice the same sense of isolation everywhere I go. Narcissistic abuse tends to slowly cut someone off from friends, family, and support, regardless of culture, so by the time a woman reaches out to me, she's often felt truly alone in her experience for a long time. There's also a shared sense of shame and self-blame, the belief that she should have seen it sooner, left sooner, or somehow done something differently.
What gives me hope is that the path back is also remarkably consistent. No matter where a woman is from, reconnecting with safety in her body and rebuilding trust in herself look much the same, and that healing is absolutely possible.
What is one practical step someone can take to start rebuilding their self-worth after leaving a toxic relationship?
One practical step I offer to anyone, whether they're a client or not, is a free hypnosis audio on my website called "Learning to Love Yourself." It's designed to gently rebuild self-worth at the subconscious level, and I always recommend starting by listening to it every day. Consistency matters here. Even a few minutes a day begin to shift the old beliefs that toxic relationships tend to leave behind.
Longer term, I'd also encourage finding a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse recovery specifically. This part is vital. Well-meaning friends, family, and even some practitioners can unintentionally give advice that's unhelpful, or even counterproductive, simply because they haven't necessarily experienced, or been trained in, the specific dynamics you're navigating.
Rebuilding self-worth after this kind of relationship takes both. Something you can start today, and the right support to walk alongside you as you go deeper.
How can people tell the difference between healthy self-reflection and taking responsibility for abuse that was never theirs to carry?
Healthy self-reflection always begins with compassion for yourself. It's important for growth, and it's what allows you to actually move forward. Taking on responsibility for abuse that was never yours does the opposite. It keeps you stuck in the same cycle, replaying the same questions without ever getting anywhere new.
A simple way to tell the difference is to ask yourself, "Would I ever say this to a friend?" If she told you the same story, would you really be sitting there picking apart everything she did or didn't do? Or would you just want to hold her and remind her she's human, that mistakes are part of that journey, and that she's on the road to recovery now? We're so often much softer with the people we love than we are with ourselves.
This comes up again and again with the self-blame that lingers after narcissistic abuse, women asking themselves why they didn't leave sooner, or what they did to cause it. That's not a reflection. That's the abuse still talking. Real self-reflection asks, "How can I grow from here?" Taking on responsibility that isn't yours asks, "What did I do to deserve this?"
What has your own experience taught you about healing that no professional training ever could?
A real turning point in my healing was realizing that nobody was coming to save me, that I was the one responsible for turning my life around. I had to ask myself, "Do I want this to define me? Do I want to stay here for the rest of my life?"
For a long time, I stayed angry and bitter. It felt justified, and in many ways it was. But eventually, I had to face a choice. I could keep blaming my trauma, or take responsibility for my own healing and make the choice to be happy.
That also meant being honest about the people I was spending time with. I noticed some of my closest friends weren't in a place to grow alongside me, and I had to accept that I wasn't responsible for saving them. I could only focus on my own path. Once I could see that, I made the conscious decision to let certain people go and surround myself with others who supported the life I was building.
No training teaches you that. You have to live it and then have the courage to act on what you see.
If someone is reading this interview while questioning a relationship in their life, what would you want them to remember?
I come back to this question again and again because so many of my clients arrive questioning a relationship they're in. I know how disorienting that can feel, to sit with doubt and still not be sure what it means. But often, the fact that you're wondering is worth paying attention to.
Something I gently ask my clients is this, "How much precious time do you have left on this planet, and how do you want to spend it? Do you want to keep tiptoeing around someone, always trying to read their mood, always hoping things will change? Or is there a part of you that's longing for something more peaceful, more easeful?"
You don't have to have the answers right away. But if you're questioning it, I truly believe some part of you already knows. Trust that part of you. It's usually right. You deserve love, happiness, and respect, exactly as you are, not as a distant possibility, but now.
Read more from Lisa Forsberg
