From Fight-or-Flight to Thriving and Practical Somatic Tools for Nervous System Regulation

Written by Tracy Ann Messore, Integrative Coach

Tracy Messore is well-known when it comes to trauma recovery and nervous system healing. She is a bachelor's-prepared registered nurse, certified trauma coach, and the founder of Integrative Coaching. Through her specialized courses and integrative approach, Tracy guides trauma survivors to heal and reclaim their authentic identities.

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In this article, explore practical somatic tools designed to regulate the nervous system and release stored trauma. Drawing from personal healing and clinical expertise, the author highlights how techniques such as shaking, progressive muscle relaxation, and sensory engagement help individuals move from survival mode to thriving. With clear instructions and insights into the body's response to trauma, this guide offers a pathway to emotional and physical regulation.

The tool that surprised me most

Six months into my healing journey, after reading countless articles, books, and self-help posts, I started to try somatic exercises. The first one I tried seemed absurd: shake.

Not just shiver or tremble. Actually, shake my body arms, legs, torso like I was having a full-body convulsion. On purpose. "This is ridiculous," I thought. "I'm a nurse. I understand physiology. How is shaking my body going to heal decades of trauma?"

But I was desperate enough to try anything, so I did it. And something remarkable happened, after about three minutes of shaking, I felt a release I couldn't explain. The chronic tension I'd been carrying in my shoulders eased. The anxious energy that had been buzzing through my system for months settled. I felt calmer than I had in years.

"What just happened?" I said out loud. I came to learn that my body was given the opportunity to complete a defensive response it's been holding onto. When you experience trauma, your nervous system mobilizes all this survival energy, but when you can’t fight or flee, that energy gets trapped. Shaking helped release the survival energy that I had held onto for decades.

As a nurse, I was fascinated. As a trauma survivor, I was relieved. Finally, something that actually worked at the body level, not just the mental level.

That was my introduction to somatic healing body-based practices that help your nervous system release stored trauma and return to regulation. And it changed everything.

Why talk therapy alone isn't enough

In my previous articles, I've explained how trauma lives in your nervous system, not just your memory. I've written about how it buries your authentic self and affects your parenting. I've described how manipulation and abuse work. But I haven't yet given you the practical tools to actually shift out of survival mode and into safety. That's what this article is for.

As a registered nurse with experience in psychiatric care, rehabilitation, and hospice, I learned traditional approaches to trauma treatment. And as someone who has worked extensively with my own trauma, I've learned what those traditional approaches miss: the body.

Talk therapy is valuable

It helps you:

• Understand what happened to you

• Process memories and emotions

• Change thought patterns

• Gain insight into your behaviors

But talk therapy has limitations

What it misses:

• It works primarily with the thinking brain (neocortex)

• Trauma is stored in the survival brain (limbic system and brainstem)

• You can understand your trauma cognitively without your body getting the message that you're safe

• Insight alone doesn't change nervous system patterns

This is why you might have done years of therapy and still have panic attacks. Why you intellectually know you're safe but your body doesn't believe it. Why can you talk about your trauma without feeling triggered, but a certain smell or sound sends you into fight-or-flight? You need somatic tools, practices that work directly with your nervous system to help it release stored survival energy and learn new patterns of safety.

Understanding your window of tolerance

Before I give you specific tools, you need to understand a crucial concept, the window of tolerance. Imagine your nervous system has an optimal zone where you can think clearly, feel emotions without being overwhelmed, connect with others, and respond flexibly to life. This is your window of tolerance, and it's governed by the ventral vagal state I described in my first article.

When you're in your window:

• You feel calm but alert

• You can think and feel at the same time

• You can handle stress without falling apart

• You're connected to yourself and others

• You can learn, grow, and heal

When you are outside your window.

Hyperarousal – Sympathetic:

• Anxiety, panic, rage

• Racing thoughts or mind won't shut off

• Hypervigilance

• Can't relax or sit still

• Feel like you're going to explode

Hypoarousal – Dorsal Vagal:

• Numbness, depression, dissociation

• No energy or motivation

• Disconnected from feelings

• Fog or confusion

• Feel like you're shutting down or collapsing

Trauma narrows your window of tolerance. Things that wouldn't bother most people push you out of your window. You spend more time in hyperarousal (too much activation) or hypoarousal (too little activation) and less time in your optimal zone.

The goal of somatic healing is to widen your window of tolerance and help your nervous system handle more before it tips into dysregulation, and to give you tools to return to your window when you do get pushed out.

Practical somatic tools for regulation

Here are the tools that have been most effective in my own healing and in my work with clients. I'm organizing them by nervous system state, because different tools work for different states.

When you're hyperaroused (anxious, activated)

The goal is to discharge excess energy and downregulate your sympathetic nervous system.

1. Progressive muscle relaxation with release

Why it works. When you're in fight-or-flight, your muscles are tensed for action. Intentionally tensing and releasing them completes that physical response.

How to do it:

1. Start with your feet. Tense all the muscles as tightly as possible for 5 seconds

2. Release suddenly and completely. Notice the difference between tension and relaxation

3. Move up your body, calves, thighs, glutes, stomach, chest, hands, arms, shoulders, neck, face

4. After releasing each area, take a breath and notice the sensation of letting go

This activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the brake on your stress response) and helps discharge the tension your body has been holding.

2. Bilateral stimulation

Why it works: Engaging both sides of your body helps integrate the left and right hemispheres of your brain, which can become disconnected during trauma.

How to do it:

• Butterfly hug: Cross your arms over your chest and alternate tapping your shoulders (left, right, left, right) for several minutes

• Walking: If you can safely go outside, walk briskly while paying attention to the rhythm of your feet hitting the ground

• Side-to-side movement: Sway side to side, bounce a ball from hand to hand, or do any activity that crosses your midline

3. Voo breathing

Why it works: The vagus nerve (the main nerve of your parasympathetic system) runs through your vocal cords. Vibrating it through sound stimulates the calming response.

How to do it:

1. Take a deep breath in

2. On the exhale, make a "voo" sound (like "moo" but with a V)

3. Make the sound as long and as low as you can, feeling the vibration in your chest

4. Repeat 5-10 times

4. The shake

Why it works: Animals naturally shake after a threat to discharge survival energy. Humans need to do this too.

How to do it:

1. Stand with feet hip-width apart, knees slightly bent

2. Start gently bouncing, letting the movement travel through your whole body

3. Gradually increase the intensity, letting your arms, legs, torso, and head shake ( be gentle with your head and neck)

4. Keep your jaw relaxed and let sounds come out if they want to

5. Continue for 3-5 minutes or until you feel a natural settling

6. Stop and notice how your body feels

This might bring up emotions or memories. That's okay, they're releasing. If it feels like too much, stop and try a grounding technique instead.

Note: If you are unsure how to shake safely without causing injury, there are numerous videos on how to perform somatic shaking.

5. Cold Water for rapid reset

Why it works: Cold water activates the dive reflex, which immediately shifts your nervous system from sympathetic to parasympathetic.

How to do it:

• Splash cold water on your face, especially your forehead and cheeks

• Hold an ice cube or cold pack on your forehead or back of your neck

• Take a cold shower

• Immerse your face in a bowl of ice water for 15-30 seconds

This works because cold on your face signals your brain that you're diving into water, which automatically slows your heart rate and shifts you into a calmer state.

When you're hypoaroused (numb, disconnected, shut down)

The goal is to gently increase activation to bring you back into your window without triggering hyperarousal.

1. Gentle movement

Why it works: Movement tells your nervous system you're alive and able to take action—the opposite of the freeze/collapse response.

How to do it:

• Stretch slowly, paying attention to sensations

• Do gentle yoga or tai chi

• Dance to music you love

• Go for a slow walk, noticing your surroundings

• Do household tasks mindfully (washing dishes, folding laundry)

Keep the movement gentle and pleasant. The goal is to wake up your system, not stress it.

2. Sensory engagement

Why it works: Engaging your senses brings you into present-moment awareness and out of dissociation.

How to do it, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:

• Name 5 things you can see

• Name 4 things you can touch (and touch them)

• Name 3 things you can hear

• Name 2 things you can smell

• Name 1 thing you can taste

Alternative: Engage one sense intensely.

• Listen to music with headphones

• Eat something with a strong taste (mint, lemon, spicy)

• Smell something pleasant (coffee, essential oils, flowers)

• Touch different textures (soft blanket, rough tree bark, smooth stone)

3. Social engagement

Why it works: Your ventral vagal system (the state of safety and connection) is activated through positive social interaction.

How to do it:

• Call or video chat with a safe person

• Pet an animal

• Watch videos that you find funny or heart-warming.

• Spend time with people who feel safe (even if you don't talk much)

This only works with people who feel genuinely safe. Forced social interaction with unsafe people will make things worse.

4. Orienting

Why it works: When you're shut down, you've lost awareness of your surroundings. Orienting helps you come back to the present.

How to do it:

1. Sit or stand comfortably

2. Slowly turn your head to look around the room

3. Let your eyes land on different objects

4. Say to yourself, "I see a [blue pillow], I see a [wooden table], I see a [green plant]."

5. Notice, "I am here. I am safe right now."

5. Self-havening

Why it works: This technique generates delta waves in the brain (the same waves associated with deep sleep and healing) and creates a feeling of safety.

How to do it:

1. Cross your arms and place your hands on your upper arms

2. Stroke down your arms from shoulder to elbow repeatedly

3. Continue for several minutes while thinking about something safe or pleasant

4. You can also stroke your forehead, your face, or rub your hands together

This feels like you're giving yourself a hug, and it activates the same soothing response as being comforted by someone you trust.

When you're oscillating between states

The goal is to find your center and widen your window of tolerance.

1. Grounding with the 5-point star

How to do it:

1. Sit or stand with feet on the ground

2. Take five slow breaths, counting each one

3. Name five things you can see

4. Feel five points of contact (feet on floor, back against chair, etc.)

5. Think of five people you care about or five things you're grateful for

This combines multiple regulation strategies to help you find your window regardless of where you started.

2. Co-regulation

Why it works: Your nervous system can borrow regulation from someone else's calm nervous system.

How to do it:

• Spend time with someone who is calm and regulated

• Synchronize your breathing with theirs

• Let yourself "tune in" to their calm energy

• This is why therapy with a regulated therapist works, you're borrowing their regulation

For parents, this is also how you help regulate your children. They co-regulate with your nervous system.

3. Rhythm and repetition

Why it works: Rhythmic, repetitive activities are naturally regulating to the nervous system.

How to do it:

• Rocking

• Swing on a swing

• Knit, crochet, or do repetitive crafts

• Listen to music with a steady beat

• Chant or sing repetitively

• Drum or tap rhythmically

Building your regulation practice

These tools work, but you have to actually use them. Not just once, not just when you're in crisis, but regularly as part of your healing practice.

Create a daily regulation routine

Morning:

• 5 minutes of grounding (feet on floor, notice your body, set intention)

• Some form of gentle movement

• One regulation practice from above

Throughout the day:

• Check in with your nervous system, "Am I in my window? Hyperaroused? Hypoaroused?"

• Use micro-regulation moments (deep breath, hand on heart, feet on ground)

• Notice early warning signs and intervene before you're completely dysregulated

Evening:

• Discharge any accumulated stress (shake, progressive muscle relaxation)

• Something soothing and connecting (self-havening, gratitude, gentle stretching)

• Create conditions for safe sleep

Know your early warning signs

What does hyperarousal look and feel like for you?

Examples:

• Jaw clenching

• Shallow breathing

• Racing thoughts

• Irritability

• Tension in the shoulders

What does hypoarousal look like for you?

Examples:

• Spacing out

• Heavy limbs

• Can't think clearly

• Want to isolate

• Feeling nothing

When you notice your early warning signs, intervene immediately with an appropriate tool. Don't wait until you're fully dysregulated.

Practice when you're calm

This is crucial, practice these tools when you're already in your window, not just when you're dysregulated. Your nervous system learns better when it's not in crisis mode.

Be patient with your system

If you are someone who has been operating with a dysregulated nervous system, it's not going to fully regulate in a week or even a month. These tools work cumulatively. You're retraining your nervous system, teaching it that:

• The world is not always dangerous

• Your body can handle sensations without shutting down or panicking

• You can move between states flexibly

• Safety is possible

This takes time, consistency, and compassion.

When to get additional support

While these somatic tools are powerful, some trauma requires professional support. Consider working with a trauma-informed therapist who practices:

• Somatic Experiencing (SE)

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy

• Internal Family Systems (IFS)

• Trauma-Focused CBT

Consider body-based modalities:

• Trauma-informed yoga

• Massage therapy (with a trauma-informed practitioner)

• Acupuncture

• Craniosacral therapy

Consider medication support. If your nervous system dysregulation is severe, medication prescribed by a psychiatrist can create enough stability for you to do the healing work.

The body remembers and the body can heal

In my previous articles, I wrote about how trauma is stored in your body. Now you have tools to help your body release what it's been holding. These practices aren't just coping strategies, they're healing interventions. Each time you use them, you're sending your nervous system a message, "We're safe now. We can let go. We don't have to stay in survival mode anymore."

Your body kept the score, but your body can also heal. It just needs your help and the right tools.

In my next article, we'll explore how “safe persons” can support someone who is healing from trauma. Loving someone with a trauma or abuse history requires a different set of skills.

Until then, practice. Experiment. Be patient with your nervous system. It's been protecting you the best way it knew how. Now you're teaching it a new way, a way that includes safety, regulation, and the possibility of thriving.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info!

Read more from Tracy Ann Messore

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Tracy Ann Messore, Integrative Coach

Tracy Messore is well-known when it comes to trauma recovery and nervous system healing. She is a bachelor's-prepared registered nurse, certified trauma coach, and the founder of Integrative Coaching. After enduring decades of generational trauma and abuse, Tracy transformed her pain into purpose by combining her nursing expertise with somatic body-based healing and polyvagal theory to help trauma survivors break free from survival mode and rediscover their authentic selves. Through her specialized courses and integrative approach, which addresses the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual dimensions of healing, Tracy guides people through processing stored trauma, regulating their nervous systems, and breaking generational cycles.

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References and Further Reading:

The somatic tools and concepts in this article are informed by research and clinical practice in body-based trauma healing:

• Somatic Experiencing: Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

• Window of Tolerance: Siegel, D. J. (1999). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. The Guilford Press.

• Polyvagal Theory and Regulation: Porges, S. W. (2017). The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe. W.W. Norton & Company.

• Body-Based Trauma Therapy: Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy. W.W. Norton & Company.

• Havening Techniques: Ruden, R. A. (2011). When the Past Is Always Present: Emotional Traumatization, Causes, and Cures. Routledge.

• Neurophysiology of Trauma: van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.

Note: This article presents these techniques through the lens of the author's nursing training, personal healing journey, and professional coaching practice. The explanations and applications are the author's own interpretations designed to make somatic tools accessible to trauma survivors. Always consult with healthcare providers about your specific situation.