Empowering Women to Lead with Legacy, Purpose & Zero Regrets – Interview with Melissa Barnes
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 21
- 7 min read
Melissa Barnes has spent over two decades in the funeral industry, where she witnessed firsthand the heartbreak of lives unlived. A Licensed Funeral Director turned Legacy & Leadership Mentor, she now helps high-achieving women reconnect with purpose, presence, and passion. Through her signature RISE Method, Melissa guides burnt-out mom entrepreneurs to rise into a life of meaning, fulfillment, and zero regrets. In this powerful interview, she shares how grief, legacy, and a moment in a chapel transformed her mission—and her life.
Who is Melissa Barnes?
Hi, I'm Melissa, born and raised in Ontario, Canada. I’m married to my hard working blue collar dream man, momma of three cutie-pies, two sons and a daughter. I'm a hockey and gymnastics mom, and a dog mom to our senior chocolate lab. I love traveling, being outdoors, I love summer, hot weather and being at the cottage. My mom and dad are entrepreneurs and I've spent over 20 years working in death and grief care in our family’s funeral home business which has been beautiful and also has shown me the raw honest truth about what entrepreneurship and business building can bring into a family.
I'm a lifelong student and teacher of profound life transformation, growth and empowerment. I’m a Licensed Class-1 Funeral Director and Certified Legacy & Leadership Mentor for ambitious mom entrepreneurs who are outwardly successful, but inwardly burnt out, disconnected, and quietly asking, “Is this all there is?”
I’ve listened to thousands of eulogies and the ones that haunt me aren’t about failure. They’re about lives unlived!
That’s why I founded Barnes Coaching & Consulting, and created The RISE Method, this is the catalyst for high-performing women to rise into their highest potential, where they live, love, and lead with zero regrets. It’s for the woman who wants more: more love, more connection, more tenderness in her motherhood, more freedom, more worth, more truth. I know that woman because I was her, I wore the mask of perfection while silently wanting more.
I’ve walked (and still walk) this path. The RISE Method isn’t theory, it’s what I put into practice in my own life, marriage, motherhood, and business. Because I’ve witnessed the devastation of a powerful life unloved to its fullest and I refuse to let another woman go to the grave with her soul’s song still in her.
I’m here to help mothers in business rewrite the rules, rise differently, and role model a legacy worth inheriting — one rooted in presence, purpose, passion, and no regrets.
What inspired you to do the work you do today?
The truth? I saw too many women wait until it was too late. Too late to apologize, to speak truth, to forgive, to release negative, to grow and expand, to realize their purpose, too late to understand what building a legacy truly looks like.
For two decades, I've worked in death care, holding space for families at their most broken moments. I've stood beside caskets, consoled grieving mothers, and helped prepare children for their last goodbyes. I was the calm in the storm, the professional, the strong one, the rock. But quietly, I was crumbling.
There’s a quote I'll share from Chapter 1 of my (future) book:
“You cannot live fully while mourning the version of you that never got the chance to exist.”
That was me. A woman who had it all on paper. A respected career. A family I adored. A beautiful home. And yet, I moved through my own life like a ghost. I had become everything to everyone, except myself.
Please understand, grief doesn’t only come when someone dies. It comes when we abandon ourselves over and over again until we no longer recognize the woman in the mirror.
The breaking point for me came in a chapel. I was closing the casket of a young mother of three, and as her babies cried out for mommy, I felt something break deep inside me. I turned toward the wall, tears welling up and falling down my cheeks, trying to hold it together. But I couldn’t. Because it didn’t feel like I was closing a casket. It felt like I was sealing my own.
That moment shattered the illusion. The mask of perfection, the title, the high-functioning performance, it all cracked.
I wondered, what would happen if this was my last day? Did I do enough? Did I love hard enough? Did I give enough support? Did I give enough of my time being that awesome mom? Did I lead by example and arm my children with a knowing of - how to do life? NO!
That day, I began the journey home to myself and the woman I was meant to be. And I vowed, I will help women live in such a way that their eulogy writes itself, not because of their success, but because of how they loved, lived, and led while building the success.
That vow became The RISE Method, and the mission of my life’s work, part of my own legacy.
Why is disconnection in marriage so common among successful women?
Because when a woman rises in the world without rising in her inner world, her relationships often pay the price. No one talks about this. But I see it every day.
A woman begins to grow… in business, in vision, in voice. But at home, she still feels unseen, unsupported, misunderstood. She’s shifting and her old ways of keeping the peace or shrinking to fit no longer work. What once felt “normal” now feels numbing.
And then the silent cycle begins, the 3 R’s: (which applies not only to marriage, but truthfully in every part of our lives)
Resentment. Resistance. Revenge (or, as I often say, The Burn-It-Down Stage).
At first, she might resent that he doesn’t get it, doesn’t see her, doesn't acknowledge all she does. She finds fault in the small things, like the way he responds, what he doesn’t say, his body language, facial expressions, what he forgets. And underneath the resentment?
A belief that’s been there all along, “I’m unsupported. I’m not enough. I’m invisible. I’m unworthy.”
Our belief systems begin constructing the reality we see in our marriage, and we unconsciously reinforce the disconnection.
Then comes resistance. She goes quiet. She pulls away emotionally, sexually, spiritually. Commonly responding “I’m fine”. But her warmth is gone. She holds her passion instead of sharing it. She becomes cold, guarded, and transactional. Not because she doesn’t care, but because she doesn’t feel safe, she doesn't know how to release it all in a positive transformational way.
And if nothing changes… We hit the final stage: revenge, or what I call the burn-it-all-down phase.
This doesn’t always look like betrayal or leaving. Sometimes, it’s internal. She emotionally checks out. She builds a business that gives her the validation she craves. She fills the void with achievement, but inside, she’s in pain.
But here’s the truth: It is time to go within! It's time to understand that the programs running in the background are actually creating this in your reality.
That woman, the one who’s drifting, aching, doubting, 'failing' she holds the power to rebuild.
She can rise again. She can rewire those beliefs. She can learn to lead from truth, not pain. And when she does, she doesn’t just change her marriage, she changes everything.
What makes your 12-week program so effective?
Because it’s not just coaching. It's awakening. It's a soft place for powerful women to put their guard down and get honest about themselves, a place where it's safe to heal and grow.
The RISE Method is a deeply transformational experience rooted in trauma-informed coaching, emotional intelligence, identity re-alignment, and legacy-building and mentorship. This isn’t about more strategy, it’s about truth.
We start on the inside, because how you think, what you believe, and what you carry from the past directly shapes how you show up in your relationships, your business, and your body. We dig for the truth first. We name the pain. We meet the old patterns and beliefs that have been quietly running the show.
And then? We do the real work. We heal. We release. We forgive. We generate new beliefs. We reclaim self-trust. And then… we rise.
This is the kind of work most women don’t even realize they’ve been waiting for.
It’s raw. It’s real. It’s not about vision boards or surface-level affirmations. It’s about releasing grief. Repatterning the nervous system. Building emotional and relational safety. Using tools like NLP, quantum-level shifts, energetic embodiment, empowerment work, relationship reconnection, grief processing, and spiritual clarity.. all in one private, safe space.
This isn’t a course you complete and forget about, it’s a version of yourself you become. By the end of 12 weeks, my clients don’t just think differently, they live differently. They lead differently. They love differently. Because they’ve done the real work, the kind of work that shifts everything.
What does it mean to live and lead with zero regrets?
It means making choices today that your future self and your children will thank you for. It's about laying your head on your pillow, knowing 'you crushed it today'.
Not just in business, but at every moment: At the dinner table. In the car. In how you speak to yourself. In how you show up for your partner. Whether or not you looked your child in the eye and really saw them.
Living with no regrets isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being present.
It’s about not going to bed saying, “Well, I yelled again. I swore in front of the kids. I doom-scrolled instead of playing. I drank too much. I gave that guy the finger while they were watching from the back seat. But hey, tomorrow I’ll do better.”
No. It’s about stopping the cycle of “tomorrow.” Stop waiting. Stop doing it from disconnection. Start being the woman who leads from presence. The soft place where your family can land. The bold leader who eats fear for breakfast. The mother who shows her children how to show up for themselves, by how she shows up for herself.
To live with no regrets is to break generational patterns and rewrite the story - now. It’s to rise into worthiness, into power, into legacy. Because someday… there won’t be a second chance.
And when that day comes, what will they say & feel about you? That’s what I mean by zero regrets! It's what I mean about building the legacy, it’s not just about the financials, the portfolio, the house, the cars, the inheritance, it’s about the woman you ARE while building all of it!!
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