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Don’t Compare Your Internal Self To Others External Image

Written by: Cathy Dimarchos, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


In a world where people live with “scrolling up” and “swiping left or right," we tell ourselves a story as we watch through the lens of a screen.

I pause here to place emphasis on the word “story” and the few seconds we take to create what we often believe is reality. The reality of what we interpret is happening to someone else. I know that as you read this, each of you understands the message, and yet we all still fall into the same pattern of believing what we are seeing is the total truth.

An image tells a thousand words, but does it tell us the reality?

When we take a photo, it is a moment in time capture.

Seldom do we capture the sad moments or the challenging ones to share on social media. We are all guilty of capturing happy moments, moments we want to remember as we want to be able to look back and say, “I remember that,” and smile. But as we all know, even in these happy moments captured, there are at times occasions where we have faced challenges, where something has not quite gone right, but what we capture is a memory that we want to perhaps share with the world.

As I reflect on this, I ask myself how is it that whilst we all do this, and we all know that photos, social posts, or words shared are usually only reflective of what we want to portray or share but yet somehow feel that what we see is the whole truth? These happy moments somehow become embedded in someone else’s whole reality.

As we pause to think it through, the logic applies, but by default, we instantly create a story about what someone else is doing, feeling, or achieving, and we make that the whole” truth.”

This pattern that is so commonly applied to life as we live it today creates an internal dialogue, and subconsciously we begin to compare our lived life to that shared in a photo by someone else.

We do this daily. We do it when we look at social media, we do it when we talk with one another. We do it as we watch people sitting at a restaurant or café.

We capture in an instant what we think we see, and then tell ourselves a story, that is usually not the entire reality. The old saying “it’s always green on the other side” comes to mind, but I know that it is NOT “always greener on the other side” because I have lived on the other side, and I now choose to be the whole of me.

So, what can you do differently?

Catching ourselves in this moment is the first step. Pausing and acknowledging what is happening to us and simply allowing ourselves to say, “what I am seeing is a moment in time, and just like me, there is more happening than what is in this photo.”

It does not need to be complicated; it simply just needs to break the pattern.


The value in this then becomes that you begin to allow yourself to appreciate who you are and what you have done as opposed to giving value or greater value to what someone else may be doing. For years now, I have watched society become more focused on what someone else is doing rather than reflecting inwards on what they have achieved. It’s a distraction. It is also destructive.

It is what takes us on a path, whether it be business or personality, that does not always serve you, so pausing to be grateful to you and those around you will stop the “story” telling.

As children, we compare ourselves to our peers as we aim to better ourselves. As adults, we do the same, but in the process, we begin to lose our own value and our own destiny. We lose sight of the things we once said were important because we see what others are doing and believe that is where we should be and what we should be doing too.

Looking inward provides the real story.

Looking inwards to create the image that you want for yourself is about taking the path you choose to create. It is an image only you can build, and when it’s done, it becomes your foundation.

Your story is yours to capture from the inside and make your reality. This enables you to embrace challenges, be grateful for what you have, and place emphasis on what you don’t have.

This internal guidance becomes your beacon of light that creates the path that brings you joy, peace, and gratitude for all that you have.

Changing the way, we choose to see the world is up to us.

The societal patterns that have become a norm no longer have to be your storyboard. Awakening now is about being conscious and making choices that enable you to see the world for what it isn’t as much as what it is.

Seeing a picture now can be an understanding of the joy that was shared in that second for someone else but knowing that this photo does not reflect “life lived.”

It allows you to capture your moments and have equal gratitude and joy, but more so, it allows you to peruse your internal happiness whilst being happy to acknowledge the second of joy for someone ones else.

What story will you now tell yourself today as you pause to acknowledge someone else moment of joy?

Cathy Dimarchos ‒ Solutions2you

Want to learn more from Cathy? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website.


Cathy Dimarchos, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Cathy Dimarchos is an award-winning business advisor, mentoring and coaching leaders internationally, and is an indefatigable philanthropist who believes we can all contribute to lifting the baseline of people across the world one person at a time.

She founded Solutions2you with the purpose of impact so that she can serve others and leave a lasting imprint. As a professional advisor and motivational voice, Cathy dedicates her time to perfecting a combination of people, business, and situational skills. Her values take center stage, and business becomes honest and expressive. She believes that knowledge exchange leads to self-reliance with effective and sustainable outcomes.

Her Advisory services extend to New and Established entrepreneurs, teams and large corporates and support people to become antifragile in a world that is forever changing, stretching their boundaries.

“When we rise, it is important to also lift those around us”



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