Written by: Denise Ledi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Doors slamming, raised voices, lowered heads, and eyes downcast to the floor. Hushed, whispered words beneath general uneasiness.
Many of you may think that I’m describing a memory from childhood of some terrible scenario.
Unfortunately, what I had in mind as I recall the reverberating thuds of doors, walls, and windows are my first recollections of adult behaviors that were anything but fun. You see, what I’m describing? This is what far too many of us have experienced and witnessed: unhealthy behaviors in the workplace. Behaviors that stop you right in your tracks; leave you speechless and wondering: what’s next? Behaviors that left unchecked? Run the risk of becoming the norm and much, much worse.
I remember my young, naïve, and eager-beaver self, not even in my position for a week, asking my colleagues, “what’s going on?” They looked up, then at one another, then at me with pity and what I’m sure they felt was great advice and reassurance said, “Oh, you know, those two are at again. Don’t worry, Denise. This will blow over and play itself out. Just lay low and do your job, you’ll see! You’ll learn to ride it out.” Others murmured their agreement and offered encouragement with shy smiles.
Lay low? Blows over? Ride it out? What? I was speechless! And my mind was blown. I’m sure my mouth was hanging open as well. I could not fathom or justify the conduct I just witnessed, much less by our formal “leaders.” I was a fresh-faced new employee at the time, without any pretense of knowing what was going on, much less an understanding of what I saw. Nor did I have an appreciation of the saying, “if you speak your truth to power, you could get into trouble.” I could have been committing career suicide without even realizing it! A brutal reality in too many workplaces.
Looking back, though, this experience taught me a lot. It confirmed that beliefs and values shaped by the foundational principles and lessons learned long ago would help me navigate this unknown territory. I knew that “leadership” had nothing to do with rank; it's “leadership” that decides and sets the parameters of unacceptable behavior. I also knew that the most powerful thing a person can do is to use their voice? And ask a question.
Easier said than done! However, by asking a question, I learned the unspoken rules and culture of this environment and how those in it were coping. They weren’t okay. Inappropriate, unacceptable behaviors were excused and rationalized. Things could and would only get worse if left unchecked.
Asking the question I did, my response to what I was told communicated my values. This behavior displayed was unacceptable! I quickly learned that others learned of my shocked reaction, including my bosses. Oh boy — interestingly enough, both approached me separately to explain themselves. I could say a whole lot about that dynamic, but suffice to say, by questioning what happened, it exposed their behavior and workplace culture it created in ways not done in a very long time.
Now, did any of this stop these tantrums entirely? No. But a more honest environment, where others spoke about what was happening and expressed how they felt and why emerged. This change made a difference in decreasing these episodes significantly and bringing us all closer together.
Leadership isn’t about fancy speeches or necessarily comes from our formal leaders. Using our voice for authentic, genuine communication others relate to can be all it takes to spark action, whatever it may be, individually and or collectively. To break the silence, help others find the courage and confidence to overcome their fears of perceived, or worse, potentially devastating consequences for speaking up.
Our voice. Our questions. They are powerful, influential and can make all the difference in the world.
Denise Ledi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Denise Ledi is an Empowerment & Executive Leadership Coach based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada serving clients across North America. She has spent more than 20 years as a leader in addiction & mental health, forensics, and correctional healthcare and knows firsthand how complex and challenging it can be to lead in ever-changing environments. Denise integrates real-world leadership experience, experiences as a coaching client with expertise as a certified executive trained coach and Master’s trained Criminologist to provide a unique, innovative, integrative perspective to her clients to help them gain clarity and achieve the measurable results they're looking for.
After their mother died, Denise has been a mentor to 100+ professionals and family, including her younger brother & sister. Their father built his Engineering firm into a successful business as a new immigrate to Canada.
Chapter Chair — Powerful Women Today Edmonton, budding podcast host, speaker, and presenter Denise believes that our highest potential is reached by helping others reach theirs. Her primary mission is to empower others to become their best selves, access their whole potential, and make an extraordinary impact on the world!
