Can You Release Anger Without Hurting Anyone?
- Brainz Magazine
- Apr 9
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 10
Sophie Benbow is a self-development coach, mindfulness and meditation teacher who holds various qualifications in Health & Fitness.
Let’s talk about anger. Something that stays with me is Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings around anger. He says: “When a person’s speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply.” This, in itself, has not only helped me understand my own anger, but also to feel more compassion and understanding for those who present themselves in an angry way.
The truth is, we all feel anger. It’s not the most glamorous emotion to admit to, is it? Whether it’s the slow burn of frustration or the intense flash of rage, anger is a completely natural emotional response. The problem isn’t the anger itself, it’s how we deal with it.
We live in a world that encourages us to “stay positive,” “take the high road,” or “just let it go,” but these can be spiritual bypasses that ignore the very real and valid feelings within us. What if, instead, we gave ourselves full permission to feel our anger, and release it without causing harm? Not to others, and not to ourselves.
In this article, we’ll explore how to do just that how to honour your anger mindfully, process it safely, and ultimately transform it into something powerful and healing.
Anger: The emotion we were taught to suppress
From a young age, many of us were told that anger was “bad,” “unladylike,” or “dangerous.” And so we learned to push it down, cover it up with a smile, or unleash it in ways we later regret. But the truth is, anger is simply a messenger. It tells us that something doesn’t feel right, that our boundaries have been crossed, or that we’re experiencing pain or suffering.
Suppressing that message doesn’t make it go away. It just turns it inward, often showing up as anxiety, burnout, or even physical illness.
So how do we listen to our anger without letting it control us?
Step 1: Create a safe space to feel
Before we can release anything, we need to feel it fully.
Find a quiet space, free of distractions. Sit, breathe, and allow the anger to rise without judgment. Where is it in your body? In your chest? Your fists? Your jaw?
Try a body scan meditation here, or simply breathe into the space where you feel it. Know that just by witnessing the emotion, you’re already starting to move through it.
You are not your anger, you are the awareness holding it.
Step 2: Choose a conscious release
Anger is energy, it wants to move. But instead of lashing out or bottling it up, try these mindful ways to let it go:
Write it out: Free-write your anger without filtering. No one else needs to see it. This isn’t about being ‘nice,’ it’s about being real.
Scream into a pillow: It might sound intense, but primal screaming (safely and in private) is a powerful release.
Shake it off: Literally. Shake your arms, legs, body—move the stagnant energy.
Go for a walk (or run): Let your feet hit the earth and imagine the anger pouring out with every step.
Dance it out: Put on a playlist that matches your mood and allow your body to express freely.
Step 3: Get curious, not critical
Once the initial fire has subsided, ask yourself: What was this anger really about? What value or boundary was being compromised?
Maybe it wasn’t even about the person or situation you thought. Maybe it’s a buildup of feeling unheard, unseen, or unsupported.
This is the space where mindfulness shines. When we get curious about our emotions instead of criticising them, we open the door to deep self-awareness.
Step 4: Practice self-compassion
This is where so many of us forget to soften.
We feel the anger, maybe even express it, and then comes the shame. “I shouldn’t have felt that,” “Why did I overreact?” or “I’m a bad person for feeling so angry.”
But here’s the truth: you are human, and your anger was valid. What matters most is that you chose to process it consciously.
Speak to yourself the way you would a dear friend. Wrap your inner world in kindness. Because healing doesn’t come from being perfect, it comes from being present.
Final thoughts: Your anger is not the enemy
Releasing anger doesn’t mean pretending it doesn’t exist. It means meeting it with awareness, expressing it with intention, and letting it move through you without leaving destruction in its wake.
When you release anger in a mindful way, you don’t just avoid hurting others, you also stop hurting yourself. You free up space for peace, clarity, and connection.
So the next time that fire rises within you, remember, it’s not something to fear. It’s something to honour.
Sophie Benbow, Self-Development Coach and Mindfulness Teacher
Sophie Benbow is a self-development coach, mindfulness and meditation teacher who holds various qualifications in Health & Fitness. She aims to guide you on a journey of self-love, healing and compassion. Head on over to her website to enquire about coaching, listen to her meditations and follow her social channels.
