Can You Raise a Toddler - Without Punishment?
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 21, 2020
- 3 min read
Written by: Angelina Threadgill, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You probably guessed it already - punishment is NOT necessary to raise your toddler. In this article, I am going to explain why punishing your toddler is neither needed nor effective. Knowing how to raise our children mindfully and without implementing power through physical or psychological disciplining opens doors to a generation that is not shaped by the fear of punishment but rather by the power of their unrestricted skills.
With this in mind, can you imagine that 70% of Americans still believe that it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking? Well, I believe that if these people knew what this does to their children, the majority would never do it again. So, let’s take a look at what punishment does to our toddlers. It not only makes them feel like they are worth less it also makes them feel like they are loved less.
It has been proven that both physical and psychological punishment can have a significant negative impact on a child’s development. It can lead to aggression, antisocial behavior, lower intellectual achievements, depression, and a damaged relationship between parents and their children.
So what if I tell you on top of that punishment doesn’t work?
Yes, you read that right. Punishing your toddler doesn’t work.
There are two different outcomes when you punish your toddler. Your child either continues the behavior but hides it from you or won’t show it again because he’s afraid of the punishment . For some, it may mean that this form of parenting works. But let us look at what happened. Your toddler showed a behavior, you judged and punished it. For a toddler, behavior is neither good nor bad. It is just behavior.
Punishing this behavior doesn't teach your toddler anything besides the fact that he has to be careful what to do around you. He has not learned what behavior he should show instead. This creates a problem because your child won't know what to do in a similar situation. But isn't that what we want? That children learn how to deal with difficult situations and become resilient and independent?
In order for our toddlers to make decisions, question what goes on in this world, and become confident young adults, they need our help and support. A toddler’s job is to explore, learn, investigate, and make new experiences so that he is prepared for the world. Therefore our job is to help our toddlers to accomplish that by guiding them. Now we are coming to the important part. How are we guiding children and teach them right from wrong?
The quick answer is: By being a good example. In reality, that means be authentic, show them how you deal with difficult situations, listen to them, and show them appropriate behavioral strategies. Yes, that takes time and isn’t always easy but what you get is a better understanding of your child and a toddler that trusts you with all their feelings. And isn’t that worth it?
Angelina Threadgill, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Angelina Threadgill is a German educator, parenting consultant, and mother dedicated to supporting moms of toddlers to achieve a less stressful everyday life without feeling overwhelmed by showing them how to get a better understanding of not only their toddlers but their own behavior and guiding them to a mindful way of parenting without punishment. Over the last decade, Angelina has been working successfully with parents and children between the age of 1 and 6 years in different countries and from different cultures. Her focus is always on finding behavioral strategies that are individually tailored to the needs of the mothers and their toddlers. Angelina has a German degree in education and further education as a practical guide for prospective educators and is fluent in both German and English.
