Believe Or BeLIEve
- Nov 2, 2021
- 4 min read
Written by: Janette Ghedotte, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever been lied to?
Of course, you have. Have you been able to catch every lie? Of course not. Sometimes, you missed the small lies. Other times, you were sacked and sidelined by the big ones. You may be shocked to realize that you have been deceived more often than you ever imagined. I bet you felt duped or even blindsided afterward. Perhaps you wondered, “How could I have fallen for it? How did I miss the warning signs?”
The warnings signs were there.
You may feel that you were ‘blindsided,’ but the hot-spot clues were there. Right in front of you. But, for whatever reason, you were not paying attention. You may not have realized how important the clues were at the time or the negative impact ignoring the lies would cause in your life.
Most likely, you did not know what to look for. If you noticed that something was off, perhaps you overlooked or minimized it. You may have brushed it aside. Your intuition, wise mind, or gut tried to alert you, but you chose not to listen or trust your body’s warning system.
Did you want to believe?
Perhaps you wanted to believe the lies, especially if you trusted the other person because the individual was a family, friend, or someone you interacted within business. When you are deceived by someone you know and trust, then you are likely an easy target because of your direct or close relationship with the liar. It is a double whammy of deception and betrayal. You may be asking yourself, “How could this have happened to me? Why didn’t I catch it?”
Believe or not BeLIEve
Lies are often easy to believe because they are sandwiched in or wrapped around elements of the truth. Do you notice what is hidden in the word believe? Can you catch the clue in plain view? The word ‘believe’ literally contains and hides the word ‘lie.’ Notice how easy it is to spot the lie once it is highlighted in the word beLIEve. Once you see that the word LIE is embedded in the word beLIEve, then spotting the LIE is obvious. When you know what to look for and cluster the clues together, then you improve your ability to spot lies in the moment.
Go ahead, toss a coin
OK! From your pocket or your purse, take out a quarter. Not a penny, nickel, or a dime. Get out a quarter. Hold it up. Look at the quarter carefully. Notice the year of the quarter. Now, make an upward fist with your dominant hand. Place the quarter on top of your the thumb on your dominant hand. Get ready to call “heads” or “tails” and then FLIP the quarter in the air. That’s right. Ready? 1…, 2…, 3. FLIP it. CATCH it. SLAP it down.
Slowly, ever so slowly … reveal your quarter. Take a good look. What do you see on the quarter? Heads or Tails? Whether heads or tails, it does not matter because you have about a 50-50 chance of catching deception.
What, only approximately 50% chance of getting it right? Yes. The accuracy rate for correctly detecting deception is slightly better than 50 percent for most people (Bond & DePaulo, 2006). So, how do you improve the odds in your favor? The answer is by sharpening your body language and statement analysis savvy. Body Language training sharpens your ability to detect and decode nonverbal messages during interpersonal interactions. Statement analysis training and understanding human psychology and behaviors also empower you to spot the lies and get to the truth so that you can avoid costly mistakes.
Reading and interpreting body language leverages your communication advantage because it allows for strategic adjustments when the window of opportunity is still open and before it is too late. For example, if the person is showing discomfort or unease, you can find out the reasons why and then adjust your strategies accordingly. Understanding body language is a secret weapon because it gives immediate visible signs and valuable insights about people as their bodies react to internal and external stimuli. These changes in body language expressions and behaviors allow you to see their actions, reactions, and emotional states as the interaction unfolds.
What do you believe: the words or the body?
When words say one thing and the body tells you something else, what do you believe?
Words may lie. Before you were born and even in death, from head to toes, the body always shows the truth.
Communication is relational. Liars do not exist in isolation; they need targets and enablers who believe and support them. You do not have to be an easy target for deception. Liars cannot get away with lying if they are not believed. Liars look for easy targets who will believe them without asking probing questions. Liars want to keep you and their secrets hidden. The good news is this, their bodies give them away and reveal the truth. Detecting and decoding body language unmasks deception to give you a fighting chance when you
pay attention,
detect, decode, and discover body language and relevant information,
cluster the clues together to gain greater clarity of what is going on
When you know to sharpen your ability to do these three steps, then when the body speaks, you’ll understand the truth that is conveying.
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Janette Ghedotte, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Truth & Deception Detection Expert Janette Ghedotte is a MA LLP Clinical Psychologist, Founder, and CEO of Accurate Body Language.
Accurate Body Language is the KEY to crack the code, unlock the vault of nonverbal communication, and reveal the secrets of human interaction.
With over 20 years of corporate business, marketing research, advertising & strategic brand positioning, and clinical psychology experience, Janette specializes in understanding the complexities of human behavior, interpersonal relationships, verbal, and nonverbal body language communication.
Reference:
Bond, Charles & DePaulo, Bella. (2006). Accuracy of Deception Judgments. Personality and social psychology review: an official journal of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc. 10. 214-34. 10.1207/s15327957pspr1003_2.
