Becoming Who You Were Always Meant To Be – How to Live Your Life From the Inside Out
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 30, 2025
- 8 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar are international bestselling authors and globally respected mentors in business, life, and relationship success. As the founders of Blissvana, a premier personal development and success studio, they have dedicated their lives to empowering others. Their proven coaching methodologies have consistently delivered exceptional results across all areas of life, from personal growth to professional achievement.
There is a moment in life that comes quietly. It rarely announces itself. Sometimes it appears after a long stretch of exhaustion. Sometimes it emerges after a major milestone. Sometimes it shows up in the soft space between two breaths, when the noise finally settles. You might have felt it yourself, perhaps late at night or in the middle of an ordinary afternoon. A moment where something inside whispers, almost too softly to hear, "There has to be more than this."
If you have ever felt that whisper, even once, then this article is for you. Not to fix you, but to walk beside you as you remember who you are. It is the moment you notice that the life you are living on the outside does not fully match the person you feel you are on the inside.
Maybe you look around at your life and think, “I should feel happier than I do.” Or you see the habits you repeat and whisper, “I thought I would have outgrown this by now.” Or you find yourself asking, “Why do I keep abandoning myself the moment my needs matter?”
This moment can feel uncomfortable. It can feel like failure. It can feel like something is wrong with you. But in truth, this moment is sacred. It is the doorway.
It is the moment life is inviting you to become the person you were always meant to be.
Why identity is the real source of change
Most people try to improve their lives the way they improve a to-do list. They add strategies. They read more books. They try new morning routines. They repeat affirmations in the mirror.
These tools are not wrong. They are simply incomplete.
Life does not change through improved effort. Life changes when who you believe yourself to be begins to shift.
Your identity sits beneath every thought, every behavior, and every decision. It is the blueprint that determines how much love you allow yourself to receive, how much rest you feel permitted to take, how boldly you speak your truth, and how deeply you trust your place in the world.
If you believe love must be earned, you will over-give and under-receive. If you believe your needs are inconvenient, you will silence yourself. If you believe the world is unsafe, expansion will always feel like a threat. If you believe you are here to be small, life will shrink around you.
Identity is not just who you are. It is who you think you are allowed to be.
Until that level changes, everything else requires force.
Who you are is not fixed
Many people speak about identity as if it were a permanent label. The truth is far softer and far more hopeful.
Identity is not fixed. Identity is a pattern. It is formed by repetition. It is shaped by stories. It is influenced by nervous system responses that began before you had language.
In childhood, you learned what made you lovable. You learned what kept you safe. You learned what earned approval. You learned what triggered disappointment.
Your body remembers these lessons long after your mind forgets. The good news is this, because identity is learned, it can also be re-learned.
You are not locked inside who you have been. You are continuously becoming. Even now.
Returning to yourself
Many people approach personal growth as if they must build themselves from scratch. As if they are broken clay that must be molded into something better. That belief alone is the first wound to heal.
You do not need to reinvent yourself. You need to return to yourself.
Underneath the layers of protection, people pleasing, performance, and survival, there is a version of you that has always known how to live.
If you close your eyes for a moment and listen beneath the noise, you will feel a memory of this self.
A self who once moved through the world believing they mattered. A self who once loved without fear. A self who once knew joy without needing permission.
You are not here to earn your identity. You are here to reclaim it. Returning to yourself is not a dramatic leap. It is a slow, steady returning home.
How identity actually changes: A practical path
Identity does not change because you want it to. It changes because your nervous system learns that it is safe to be someone new. The following steps offer a path you can begin today. These steps are not meant to be performed perfectly. They are meant to be lived gently.
Step one: Tell the truth about where you are
Real transformation begins with honesty. Not the kind of honesty that comes with judgment or shame. The kind that sounds like a quiet exhale.
Ask yourself, “Who am I being when no one is watching?”
Take ten minutes and write one paragraph that reflects your current identity. Include the parts you love. Include the parts you avoid. Include the parts you are afraid others might see.
Truth is the beginning of return.
Step two: Name who you are becoming
Identity needs language. Without it, growth becomes a foggy idea rather than a lived direction.
Write one sentence that describes who you are becoming. One sentence is enough.
“I am becoming someone who honors my energy.”
“I am becoming someone who rests without guilt.”
“I am becoming someone who listens to my body.”
“I am becoming someone who speaks truth softly and early.”
Say the sentence out loud and notice your breath. The body will tell you where the work is.
Step three: Create emotional safety around change
Change is impossible when the nervous system is braced. You cannot become someone new while your body believes you are under threat.
Place your hand on your chest. Close your eyes. Whisper, “It is safe to become who I am.” Repeat it slowly until the muscles in your shoulders soften.
If you cannot feel your exhale, pause. No change can happen from tension.
Step four: Practice being your future self in small, lived moments
Identity is determined by what you do in small spaces.
Ask each morning, “What is one small thing my future self would do today?” Then do only that. Not everything. One thing.
If future-you sets boundaries, say one honest no. If future-you rests, take three minutes to breathe with your eyes closed. If future-you speaks, share one sentence that is true for you.
You are not practicing discipline. You are practicing becoming.
Step five: Integrate before you sleep
Identity needs reflection, or it will dissolve back into habit.
Before bed, ask:
“What moment today reflected who I am becoming?”
“What part of me tried to stay small?”
“What surprised me?”
Do not analyze. Simply acknowledge. Identity is strengthened by witnessing.
How hypnosis supports identity transformation
Hypnosis is often misunderstood as a tool for change. What it actually does is allow the nervous system to relax long enough to learn.
In hypnosis, you experience your future self in a body that feels safe. You imagine boundaries without panic. You imagine rest without guilt. You imagine love without defensiveness. You imagine being seen without shrinking.
When your body experiences a new identity before life demands it, the new identity becomes possible.
This is not magic. It is familiarization. The subconscious learns through repetition. Hypnosis offers a space where repetition can occur without resistance.
A woman once sat across from us, exhausted. She said she had done “everything right.” She had read books, practiced affirmations, and attended workshops. She still found herself abandoning her needs the moment someone else required something.
Her mind knew what she wanted. Her body believed silence kept her safe.
We did not force her to speak. We guided her into a space where she could imagine one sentence spoken from her heart while staying relaxed.
She practiced that in her body before she ever did it in real life.
The next week, she spoke the truth she once feared. Her voice shook, but she stayed present. That moment changed her identity. She became someone who could speak even when she felt afraid.
That is what becoming looks like. It is often small. It is always powerful.
Becoming often begins before we consciously choose it. Sometimes the shift is already happening inside us long before we acknowledge it. If you feel something shifting inside you as you read this, trust that. It is not a coincidence. It is recognition. There is a version of you that life has been calling toward for a long time.
Becoming yourself is not a destination. It is a daily relationship with your own soul. Some days you will forget. Some days you will return. Both are part of the journey.
You are not late. You are not behind. You are exactly where your becoming begins. One breath. One choice. One moment of honesty at a time.
If this kind of becoming feels true for you, we welcome you to reach out and explore what your next step might look like.
Connect with Kapil and Rupali
If this approach feels different than how you have tried to change in the past, it may be worth exploring what support could look like for you. Change becomes sustainable when the body is included, not overridden.
At Blissvana, we believe every person is an artist of their own life. Our programs and sessions are designed to help you shape your inner world with intention, clarity, and love. We support people who are ready to become who they were meant to be. Our work blends spiritual hypnosis, subconscious conditioning, nervous system retraining, and gentle identity work that brings the mind and body into alignment.
For gentle daily reinforcement, many of our clients also use our Color and Affirm book series. These books pair calming illustrations with simple affirmations that help the nervous system soften and return to safety, one page at a time.
If you feel called to explore this work more deeply, we invite you to join us for a gentle, no-pressure conversation where we can explore what your next step may be.
Say yes to where you are going. Say yes to who you are becoming. Say yes to living your bliss.
Read more from Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar
Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Award-Winning Board-Certified Clinical Hypnotists | Board-Certified Coaches
Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar are international bestselling authors and globally respected mentors in business, life, and relationship success. As the founders of Blissvana, a premier personal development and success studio, they have dedicated their lives to empowering others. Their proven coaching methodologies have consistently delivered exceptional results across all areas of life, from personal growth to professional achievement.
With a unique blend of clinical hypnosis, coaching, and holistic personal development, Kapil and Rupali have transformed the lives of thousands worldwide. Their signature programs are designed to help individuals unlock their fullest potential, overcome limiting beliefs, and achieve sustainable success in every facet of life. Through Blissvana, they offer workshops, retreats, and one-on-one coaching that provide their clients with the tools and strategies to thrive in today’s complex, fast-paced world.
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