Are You Winning at Life, but Losing Yourself?
- Brainz Magazine
- Jul 30
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 19
Written by Hendrina Sterling Rodriguez, Trauma Alchemist & Voice Catalyst | Founder, The IF Wellbeing Hub & Mind Empower Therapy
Hendrina Sterling is an award-winning therapist, speaker, and founder of Mind Empower Therapy. She helps high-achievers and couples transform emotional pain into clarity, resilience, and purpose.
Ever felt like you're excelling in your career, managing a family, ticking all the societal boxes, yet secretly, you're dying inside? I was a high-achieving professional, pulling three demanding 12-hour shift jobs, constantly traveling across England for the NHS, and driving a luxury Range Rover Evoque that symbolized my supposed success. But beneath the polished facade, my body was screaming. Eventually, it staged a full-blown rebellion.
Invisible chains of 'success'
The system we live in whispers a dangerous lie: push harder, earn more, consume endlessly, and you'll find fulfillment. We take on student loans, pay exorbitant taxes, eat low-quality food because healthy options are priced out of reach, and endure chronic stress.
For high achievers, this isn't just background noise; it's the relentless drumbeat we march to. We comply, we strive, we perform, often in roles that drain our souls, just to "pay the bills" and maintain a lifestyle that rarely brings true joy.
I knew this treadmill well, working tirelessly, often through the night, just so I could be present with my children during the day. Despite the perceived success, a deep sense of dread settled in my stomach every morning. One night, driving to another unwanted hospital shift, the question pierced my exhaustion:
Why? Why was I doing this to myself?
That night, I cried in the hospital. The next morning, I symbolically threw my uniform in the bin.
A part of me said:
No more. Enough.
When your body issues ultimatum
I tried to go back, but my body had other plans. While driving on a highway, I lost control, narrowly escaping a serious accident. In that terrifying moment, something profoundly shifted. Soon after, I developed severe vertigo. It was debilitating. I lost my balance completely, unable to drive, shower, or clean my house without assistance. I, the perpetual hustler, the one making things happen, was suddenly dependent, grounded by my own biology.
Doctors confirmed it: acute stress. They offered pills but candidly admitted they couldn't "fix" it. For nine months, I was off work, under care. The irony wasn't lost on me. Being the one who had always fixed problems, always pushed through, I was now utterly helpless. And faced with medication that promised only to manage symptoms, I refused. I knew, deep in my core, that taking those pills would forever hook me into the very system that had driven me to this point, a system that thrives on keeping people in a loop of dependency.
Radical rebellion: Listening to the whisper within
That painful period of stillness became my crucible. It was terrifying, sad, and profoundly transformative. As I lay there, unable to move my head, I started listening. Not to external voices, but to my own internal wisdom. I delved into the teachings of Dr. Joe Dispenza and others on how the mind can literally create reality and how the body responds to the brain's command.
I realized my body wasn't "sick." It was complaining. Loudly. It had pushed me to my absolute limit, and now it was communicating its desperate need for change. I began a radical dialogue with myself.
I spoke to my body:
"You are not sick.
You are just complaining because I pushed you to a limit. I know you can heal yourself. You can regenerate yourself. I promise I am not taking you to that place anymore. We will change from now on. I heard you."
And then, one day, I woke up. No vertigo. Not a single tablet taken. My body, once a source of betrayal, became my greatest teacher and ally.
The true cost of staying put
This dramatic reclamation of my physical and mental well-being wasn't a one-time event; it was a profound shift that reshaped my entire life. I quit the jobs that drained my soul, transitioning to a less demanding role in mental health therapy, closer to home. I even launched an online e-commerce business, which allowed me to further reduce my hours, spend more precious time with my children, and live a life of greater alignment.
Years later, a new role as a Wellbeing Practitioner brought challenges, and burnout started to creep back in. But this time, I recognized the signals immediately. The experience became another catalyst for deeper change, leading me to fully embrace my mission with Mind Empower Therapy and The Phoenix Path.
The truth is, the world is often far cheaper, and life far richer, than the consumerist trap makes us believe. The banking system itself doesn't want you to invest and grow your money; it wants you to spend and stay indebted. Education often trains us to be perpetual employees, not empowered creators. And healthy food is made inaccessible, ensuring a cycle of dependency on processed options and, eventually, a medical system designed to manage symptoms, not foster true wellness.
The actual cost of staying put in a life that doesn't serve your highest good is immeasurable. It costs you your health, your peace, your authentic voice, and ultimately, your very essence.
Reclaim your power. Rise from the ashes.
My journey is proof:
You can break free.
You can listen to your body.
You can choose a life of purpose, health, and genuine fulfillment. It begins by recognizing the patterns, understanding the system, and making a conscious choice to reclaim your power.
"The whispers of your soul are growing louder. Are you ready to answer the call, to transform your ashes into wings, and step into the boundless freedom that awaits you? Your sovereign self is ready for flight."
Begin your own phoenix path.
Listen to the Wisdom: Let the Phoenix Path Audio Journey on Payhip be your guide through the sacred fire of transformation. Access it here.
Walk with a Guide: For deeper, personalized insight and therapeutic support, I invite you to explore my consultancy here.
Need real support without booking therapy? Join The IF Wellbeing Hub on Skool–my all-in-one space for people who want results, not fluff. Get self-paced courses for individuals and couples, proven CBT tools, self-esteem & confidence training, hypnosis audios, mindfulness practices, boundary scripts, and live community Q&As–all in one place, on your schedule. Ready to stop the overwhelm and start rewiring with calm, clear action? Doors are open here.
Read more from Hendrina Sterling Rodriguez
Hendrina Sterling Rodriguez, Trauma Alchemist & Voice Catalyst | Founder, The IF Wellbeing Hub & Mind Empower Therapy
Hendrina Sterling is a multi-certified therapist, transformational speaker, and the founder of Mind Empower Therapy. After delivering over 3500+ therapy sessions on BetterHelp and serving 10+ years in the NHS, she now supports clients globally with trauma-informed coaching, relationship repair, and emotional breakthroughs. Named “Online Therapist of the Year 2024/25” by Prestige Awards (UK), she blends psychology, hypnosis, and coaching to help individuals rise from burnout and rebuild from heartbreak. Her signature Phoenix Series™ speaks to the soul of healing.
