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Am I Willing To Die To Become?

Written by: Christopher H. McKinney Sr., Senior Level Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

 
Executive Contributor Christopher H. McKinney Sr

The concept of metamorphosis is not limited to the chrysalis of butterflies. It resonates deeply within the human experience, where profound personal transformation often requires a symbolic death and rebirth. Recently, I found myself drawn in by Lisa Nichols' talk on personal growth. She laid bare a universal truth: life's journey is replete with choices. As we strive for excellence, the path ahead brims with even more forks in the road. The question looms: what are we willing to part with to evolve into our desired selves? How much discomfort are we willing to endure in this transformation? How much are we willing to go the way of the caterpillar?

metamorphosis of a butterfly

Nichols spoke candidly about hitting rock bottom, a place where she chose to let go of her former self to embrace the person she was destined to become. The person she desired to become deeply. She declared, "I was willing to die to any form of me that I had been so that I could birth the woman I was becoming." Her talk, brimming with raw power, is an inspiration, and I encourage you to watch it.


… it is hard to grind like you are hungry when you are full.

Her bold assertion set my mind ablaze. I connected with her journey, albeit from a vantage point of contrast. My rock bottom was non-existent; I was at my zenith in one chapter of life, poised to make a Triumphant Transition to the next. It necessitated a death of sorts, a letting go of almost everything that defined me. And on top of that, it is hard to grind like you are hungry when you are full.


I served in the world's premier Air Force for three decades, culminating as the installation Command Chief. My role was laden with influence and respect; I was integral to a mission that filled me with pride.

Change is difficult. not changing is fatal

Yet, I faced an impasse. After 30 years of service, one must retire — a policy rather than a personal choice. My heart was set on continuing to serve, contribute, and give. But the system had other plans.


Post-retirement, my journey did not cease to ascend. I evolved beyond my last active duty role. Why? Because I was willing to release my hold on the past. What did I allow to die?


1. The elegy of titles


The respect commanded by the title of Chief is immense and undeniable. It's an honor that I bore with pride, a recognition that spoke of my service and dedication. I had to shed the mantle of 'Chief' and step into a world where my past accolades were whispers, not proclamations.


2. The silence of my voice


As a Chief, my thoughts were pivotal, regardless of the topic. Transitioning away, I discovered my voice was sometimes unheard and my insights unheeded. I had to earn my seat at the table all over again. This was incredibly humbling.


3. The shadow of ego


I was among the top 1% as a Chief. As a Command Chief, I was in the top 1% of the top 1%. Yes, I had an ego—perhaps an unspoken requisite for leadership at the highest echelons. But in my new role, that ego had to be tempered and recalibrated to fit a landscape where hierarchies and past triumphs mattered little. It was not fun or easy, yet necessary for the transformation.

Businessman walking on the road carry briefcase

Why change


Why was it crucial to leave behind these aspects of my identity? To avoid becoming ensnared in the past, to prevent stagnation, and to acknowledge that the present is distinct from the past.


1. Rearview mirrors


I had to focus on what was possible rather than what I had done. I had to use the windshield and not the rearview mirror. If I had been looking backward at what I had done instead of doing what I needed to do to become, I would have probably crashed. In my process of "birthing," I had a conversation with my uniform. We had to part ways. It was not very pretty, but it was a necessary conversation.


2. Stagnation


Starting anew at the age of 49 meant I had to become a voracious student of life. My knowledge of military operations and functions was deep. Yet, in the sphere of local government, I was a novice again, learning new rules and ways of engagement.


3. This is not that


In a book I coauthored, 'Triumphant Transitions,' this philosophy is elucidated: don't compare the past with the present. Instead, understand the present in its own right, using the past as a foundation, bridging skill gaps, and moving forward with purpose. What got us here won't get us there.


Had I not embraced this mindset, I would've been the architect of my own undoing, the saboteur of my future. Instead, I led a four-county regional agency for four years before founding my own consulting firm, which, you guessed it, required me to undergo the process of 'dying' once more to give birth to a new reality. The bottom line is this: You can't bring old thinking to the next level.


… I would've been the architect of my own undoing, the saboteur of my future.

As I stand on the cusp of another opportunity, I reflect on this journey. It's a testament to the power of process, to the potential for self-reinvention that lies within all of us.


This narrative isn't exclusive to military life. It's applicable to banking, education, engineering — any field, any life. As you navigate your path, are you cultivating your growth, birthing the future you envision?


I fervently hope your journey is marked by intentionality and that your answer to these questions is a resounding, affirmative 'yes.'


You know, the crazy part of the transformation of the caterpillar is that during one phase, it uses its enzymes to digest and dissolve all the food it eats, yet when it reaches its maximum limit in that role and becomes a pupa, it uses those same enzymes to dissolve itself, to become the butterfly which is a completely different entity in a different role comprised of the DNA of the former.


My company 10X Leadership Consulting works with businesses and organizations to identify and diagnose critical issues that impede development and growth. You spend enormous amounts of time “working in” your business and we come alongside to help you “work on” your business (strategy development, culture development, change management, and talent optimization). If we can ever be of assistance to you, reach out. You can click the logo below.


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I appreciate your time and attention. I wish you the best in your becoming!


Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!

Christopher H. McKinney Sr Brainz Magazine
 

Christopher H. McKinney Sr., Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Chris is the founder and CEO of 10X Leadership Consulting (10XLC). 10XLC is a premier consulting company that identifies and diagnoses issues that impede the development and growth of businesses. 10XLC specializes in strategy, leadership, and culture development. Chris is also a co-author of the book “Triumphant Transitions” published by Trilogy Publishing.

As a 30-year Air Force veteran, he developed the mantras “Leadership is relentless!” and “When you add value, you become invaluable.” Both were key beacons that helped him navigate and have highly successful careers in two different industries. Success for Chris is seeing people around him grow, evolve, and become effective when they gain a seat at the table. His mindset is for his life to be at its fullest, others must release their gift(s) into the world. By releasing their gift(s), the world is made more complete.

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