Am I Too Emotional to Be Professional? – A Personal Reflection on Leadership and Emotionality
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 20
- 4 min read
Sabrina Patricia Klaubert, founder of She Rising, is building sustainable female leadership pipelines, equipping organizations with future-ready female talent.
I used to think that if I wanted to succeed in corporate spaces, I had to toughen up, that leadership required me to grow a thicker skin and not take things personally. In short, I had to be more like the men in the room.
I heard it everywhere: You have to be more strategic, more decisive, more resilient, more objective, more like them.
What they were actually saying: You need to be less emotional.
The message was clear, if I wanted to be taken seriously, I had to put up a carefully curated facade, an armor of steel that would let everything bounce off me, or at least give the illusion that it did.
The subtext: I needed to suppress the very things that made me me.
For years, I believed it. I mastered the art of compartmentalization. I polished my professional persona. I learned to keep my emotions in check, not react too quickly, and present myself in a way that would be seen as competent, confident, and composed.
So I did. I saved my emotional outbursts for after hours.
The worst part? I thought I was the only one. That I was just too sensitive or too emotional, and that I was the one who had to change.
If you're still reading, I know you can relate. And spoiler: it’s not you.
I see this struggle in so many women I work with today, the constant negotiation between being respected and being authentic. The fear that if they push back, they’ll be seen as difficult. The hesitation to assert themselves because it might be perceived as aggressive. The pressure to temper their enthusiasm so it doesn’t come across as unprofessional.
It is exhausting.
The emotionality dilemma in leadership
We’ve created a world where emotions are selectively welcome, where decisiveness in a man is seen as leadership, but in a woman, it’s aggression. Where a male leader expressing frustration is seen as commanding, but a female leader doing the same is seen as losing control or, dare I say it, hysterical.
The reality is that emotional intelligence is one of the most critical leadership skills. The ability to regulate emotions, understand the emotional landscape of a team, and lead with empathy, these are not weaknesses. These are strengths. Research from Harvard Business Review has consistently shown that leaders with high emotional intelligence outperform those who rely solely on strategy and logic. Yet, many women still feel they have to dim this part of themselves to be seen as professional.
Reclaiming emotional intelligence as a leadership strength
What if, instead of suppressing our emotions, we learned to master them? What if, instead of fearing our sensitivity, we saw it as our greatest asset?
For me, the shift happened when I realized that leadership isn’t about detachment; it’s about presence. It’s about knowing yourself so well that you can navigate challenges without losing your grounding. This is the essence of self-leadership, the ability to guide your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors toward intentional action.
Here’s how I’ve redefined emotionality in leadership:
1. Emotional education
We need to go beyond happy, sad, or angry. Understanding the full spectrum of emotions and how they influence decision-making is key. Emotional maturity isn’t about not feeling; it’s about knowing what you’re feeling and why.
2. Mindfulness and regulation
Emotions don’t disappear when ignored; they intensify. Mindfulness, breathwork, and somatic practices are powerful tools for regulating emotions rather than suppressing them. Staying grounded allows for clarity in decision-making.
3. Using emotion as data
Instead of seeing emotions as obstacles, I now use them as insights, data points that provide crucial information. If something triggers frustration or hesitation, it’s usually pointing to something deeper: a value being challenged, a boundary being crossed, or an unmet need.
A new leadership era
I no longer aspire to have a thicker skin. I don’t need to “toughen up” to be taken seriously. What I need, and what I encourage other women to embrace, is the ability to stand firmly in their emotional intelligence. To let their leadership be informed, not dictated, by their emotions.
The future of leadership isn’t about suppressing emotion; it’s about integrating it. It’s about creating work environments where people feel safe enough to be human. And that starts with how we, as leaders, show up.
So, am I too emotional to be professional?
No. I am emotional and professional. And that makes me a good leader.
Read more from Sabrina Klaubert
Sabrina Klaubert, Entrepreneur, Women’s Coach & Mentor
Sabrina Patricia Klaubert is a visionary entrepreneur and the founder of She Rising, a Talent & Leadership Accelerator designed to fuel female advancement in organizations worldwide. A Copenhagen Business School graduate with leadership training from Harvard, Sabrina partners with HR leaders to create resilient, inclusive pathways to leadership. Through her expertise in transformational coaching and mindfulness, she shapes the next generation of female leaders who drive impact and innovation.
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