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A Moment Of Silence For Your Fears And Limiting Beliefs – Part 1

Written by: Louise Mathias, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Executive Contributor Louise Mathias

Louise Mathias ignites transformation through The Confident Leader Blueprint: Conflict Resolution, Coaching and Consulting, emboldening legal professionals, C-Suite executives, and established entrepreneurs globally to design their lives (and leadership) and become unstoppable, confident CEOs of their best personal and professional lives so they perform beyond standard norms consistently over the long term. Louise's diverse career across professions and industries gives her a deep understanding of challenges affecting leaders, employers, and businesses, and her clients benefit from her comprehensive insights. Louise is a Barrister (think wig and gown lawyer) – Mediator (Harvard) who redefines coaching as a certified high-performance and emotional intelligence coach and consultant who is also trained in Dare To Lead (Brene Brown) methodologies.


Photo of Louise in pink polo

Her mission? To ensure high-performance habits and emotional intelligence (EQ) are integrated into conflict resolution, leadership, and daily life. This is because there is a direct impact on performance, engagement, communication, satisfaction, and overall success in life and on leaders, teams, and businesses when these are not operationalised.


Through one-on-one and group high-performance and emotional intelligence coaching, consulting, and dynamic speaking engagements, Louise inspires individuals to unleash their full potential to lead and live with high-performance habits and managed emotions (EQ). She also helps them realign thoughts, emotions, and behaviour to experience growth, well-being, and fulfilment as they strive for excellence.


Businesswoman in red cape running on stairs

Understanding how your thinking, emotions, and limiting beliefs impact your success

Chronic worry, self-doubt, rumination, and negative self-criticism are inescapable parts of life, but how we manage them is a choice we can change and control.

I coached a lawyer who had been in law for 30 years. He was promoted to a position where he heard cases, adjudicated, and wrote binding decisions. However, he struggled with chronic procrastination and had a pattern of submitting his decisions late; he had a large backlog of work. His productivity and focus were affected, and he felt insecure about losing ‘the best job I’ve ever had. ' He felt anxious and stressed.

When we discussed his procrastination, he said, “I’m afraid of making mistakes, and I’ll be seen as incompetent, and my colleagues, lawyers, and clients will criticise me, …and I’ll be ruined.” 

His pattern of behaviour, thinking, and emotions can be natural when you lack experience, mentorship, or knowledge about how to do something in a new, high-risk environment. But when we’re still struggling with the same thought patterns and emotions two, five, ten, or twenty years later, this isn’t a strategy or knowledge problem.

Like my client, people stay stuck in the same thought patterns and emotions, often for their whole lives; he didn’t have the habits to manage his mindset and emotions; they controlled his behaviours instead of the other way around. He had spent years building his career but hadn’t taken the time to develop his mindset and emotions to improve the quality of his life, productivity and authentic success (all areas)

He was externally successful, but he didn’t feel successful; he lacked confidence, feared losing important things, worried about not getting his desired result (approval), and got stuck in the discomfort of the struggle.

He let the struggle take hold, zooming in on the uncomfortable things and avoiding them. He catastrophised outcomes, telling himself he wasn’t good enough instead of tapping into the best of who he was and believing he was capable of handling and overcoming any situation.

As a result, he missed opportunities to authentically contribute and boost his courage by taking action even when he was afraid. This would have built his character, resilience, and leadership skills but only had he chosen the pain of discomfort and uncertainty sooner.

So, when you feel fear, uncertain, doubt yourself or don’t feel you’re good enough and you notice you are avoiding taking action, be aware of these thoughts and emotions that will keep you stuck in the struggle:

  • I can’t do this. I wasn’t born with that skill, that mindset, those positive emotions.

  • What will people think of me if I fail or make a mistake? They’ll judge, criticise or reject me, and I’ll lose everything important to me.

  • I feel scared— I can’t cope.

  • I’m not in a leadership role yet. Who am I to do this?

  • I’m not smart enough, skilled enough, or have enough knowledge, etc.

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” Aristotle


‘Quick fixes”, knowledge and experience are not enough for long-term next-level success

Too many people want quick fixes and certainty in a chaotic world. But certainty only blinds them, sets false fixed limits, and creates automatic habits that become predictable, unmanaged minds and emotions, opening up opportunities for competitors to surpass them. The leaders who are certain are most closed to learning, most vulnerable to dogma and most likely to be blindsided and overtaken by innovators.


My client had a wealth of legal knowledge, including knowledge of how to write decisions and years of experience in law. This sounds like a sure-fire recipe for success—well, not quite.

Even with all that was available to make him successful, he was still being tripped up: fear and those lingering limiting beliefs that lurked in the shadows that held him back.


It's easy to overlook them, but here's the thing—high-performance leadership, businesses, and people outgrow their childish need for certainty and replace it with curiosity and genuine self-confidence, setting them up for long-term success.


Remember, it's not just about what you know, quick fixes, or experience to successfully lead yourself and others to the next level or to achieve in your profession and live a one-dimensional life—it's about how you navigate your internal world: mindset, and emotional challenges and leverage them with new habits to your advantage to create a high-performance life.


“Don’t wish it was easier; wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge; wish for more wisdom.” Jim Rohn

The intersection between leadership and high-performance success

Based on my diverse life and work experiences and challenges, my lifelong continuous learning in personal development and as a High Performance & Emotional Intelligence Coach and Consultant, I’ll share with you five high-performance habits that are proven to uplevel your mindset and emotions and ultimately your performance and success:


  1. Honest with self: They know themselves well and imagine themselves better; they decide to be extraordinary and learn how to live into the best version of themselves, and they do the work to grow. They can do hard things well because they strive for excellence and keep their promises to themselves. This is what sets them apart in life and leadership.

  2. Believe In their ability to figure things out: They are not always confident and feel fully capable before starting something, but they look forward to trying new things and don’t shrink back or avoid challenges. This helps them progress faster in all areas of life and inspires others around them.

  3. Manage emotions: High Performers are emotionally intelligent and aware of and manage their emotions. They are aware of their natural emotional tendencies and work to control and leverage their emotions, resulting in effective handling of situations. A wider range of positive emotions enables them to tap into them when needed.

  4. Challenge thought patterns: Negative thoughts automatically pop up without us realising it. High performers don't believe everything they think. They pay attention to their thoughts and question them with curiosity, finding evidence that contradicts them. They ask, "What if my beliefs are false?" This approach leads to positive changes in all areas of their lives.

  5. Learn habits: High-performance habits are small actions taken every day, not sitting or waiting, but taking proactive action, and these add up to a momentous tide of results over time.


In conclusion, the journey to greatness often begins when our preferences for comfort, ease, status quo, and certainty are overruled by a greater ambition and purpose that requires challenge, change, growth and higher contribution that leads to feelings of ongoing engagement, joy, courage that comes from being your best self.


As we embark on this journey, remember that confident, high-performance leadership starts with self-leadership.


“The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves” – Bob Proctor.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, and visit my website for more info!

Louise Mathias Brainz Magazine

Louise Mathias, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Louise Mathias empowers legal professionals, C-Suite executives, and established entrepreneurs [including businesses and firms] to transcend their comfort zones and evolve into confident CEOs of their professional and personal lives. As a mediator, coach, and consultant, she focuses on cultivating emotional intelligence, awareness and management of emotions and high-performance habits such as clarity, well-being, productivity, mindset, communication, courage, and purpose.


She challenges and supports clients in confronting weaknesses, developing new skill sets and habits, and expanding beyond what they find easy or enjoyable. Because high performance extends beyond professional achievements, it encompasses creating a high-performance life, conflict resolution processes, leadership, teams, and businesses.


High-performance skills foster ongoing engagement, joy, and confidence, enabling individuals [and businesses] to become their best selves and succeed in every aspect of their lives.


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