5 Tips on Goal Setting
- Aug 27, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 28, 2025
Written by Amy Booth, Transformation Coach
Amy is a transformation coach, having undergone her own transformation from a post-toxic-relationship single mother to now living with her dream partner and child.
Sounds odd. How can a goal be the exact thing that is getting in the way of your success? After all, it is what you are working towards achieving. We see it all over social media: ‘I help people drop 10KG (22 lbs) in 90 days.’ It has become a common sales pitch to get people to pay for a workout program. And after all, you know that working out and getting fitter will improve your overall health. So why is it so hard?
'Should' never helped anyone to greatness.
You know that sitting is the new smoking, you know what the research says, and you know what you should (or could) be doing to improve. ‘Should’ is a word that inherently makes you feel guilty. It is used when you aren’t doing something that you either pretend you want to do or someone else is trying to guilt you into doing. I don’t know about you, but I have never felt better after being guilt-tripped into doing something. Throughout the process, I have also resisted and not done the best I could have. That’s if I even reached the end of the task or process at all. Starting from a place of guilt is mistake number one.
Not being honest with yourself.
Be honest, do you really want to achieve the goal you have set? Having better health sounds great. If you are apathetic about it from the beginning, then you will be self-sabotaging from the outset. This can come about in two ways. You will either set unrealistic goals, such as losing 20KG in 90 days. For a very overweight person, a sustainable weight loss is between 1–2KG a week. This makes the 20KG goal unsustainable, unhealthy, and extremely hard work. It is likely you would give up before you reached the end of your program, if you could even find a personal trainer or coach to write you a program to try to achieve this. Or you will set a goal that is well within reach and too easy, such as losing 1KG in two months. You will achieve it easily and then not bother finishing the rest of the program because you reached your goal.
In either scenario, it is unlikely you will attempt this again at a later date because it was too hard or too easy.
Your goal isn’t a current priority, but you want it to be.
You work, you have kids, you have friends, you want to go to the pub. These are all the things currently ahead of your health and fitness goal. It might not be a problem with the workouts or the coach; it could be that, internally, health and fitness aren’t very high on your list of values. You are in a real uphill battle here. You spend time fighting with yourself just to get to the gym. Think of all the energy you have spent arguing with yourself before you even get there! You are exhausted before you even start working out. Not all health coaches will be able to help you shift your values, as this is a deep piece of mental work.
Your goal is just plain boring.
'I help people lose 10KG in 90 days.' Boring. The sort of thing that attracts someone who thinks they ‘should’ lose some weight, ‘should’ get healthier. And the coaches have evidence that they have helped people lose that weight, get healthier, fitter, leaner. So that’s what you go with. Wouldn’t you rather have something exciting at the end of the program? Something that is all about you, that you want to do, and that makes you feel amazing? Think about a photo shoot or a black-tie event that you want to look fantastic for.
The day-to-day grind of getting fitter, feeling better, and being healthier is pretty boring. There is a lot of habit changing, talking about diet, portion control, working out, and hitting step counts. It isn’t flashy. The goal needs to be exciting to make the boring day-to-day feel worth it. Some weeks are going to be so boring that you might forget why you started. You won’t forget that you want to look and feel your best to attend your daughter’s wedding, though.
You didn’t give yourself enough time.
The old anecdote ‘it takes 21 days to form a new habit’ isn’t actually true. A study by Phillipa Lally in 2009 found that it can take anywhere between 18 and 254 days to form a new habit. The study also found that the average time to form a new habit is 66 days. When you are working towards a health and fitness goal, a lot of it is breaking one set of habits and forming a new set. This paves the way for long-term change. You can be the best version of yourself all the time that way! For these changes to become habitual, it takes time. It varies by individual and by the complexity of the habit. For example, drinking more water each day will become a habit quicker than implementing a weekly workout routine.
You also need to consider how you are approaching the goal. Are you thinking that in 90 days you will go to your event, and then that’s it? If you are, it is unlikely you will achieve any long-term change. You are already intending not to carry on with the changes. Are you approaching it as a learning exercise so that you can go through this process once and then not do it again? You will achieve long-term change from this thought process, as you are intending to learn and take it forward into the rest of your life.
Goal setting is a complex process. Support from a professional in the area where you want to set a goal is a good way to help you create something meaningful and achievable for you. If you are feeling lost in the goal process, reach out to Amy on Instagram at @coachingwithamyofficial.
Amy Booth, Transformation Coach
Amy has transformed her life from severe post-partum depression compunded by major depressive disorder and PTSD after toxic relationships, to now living the life of her dreams with her dream partner and child. Having done this the hard way, Amy is now helping other women find themselves and discover the lives they want to live. Amy has used exercise as a tool to help with mental health, and offers a holistic approach to all of her clients.
