5 Simple Tips To Boost Your Emotional Intelligence Now
- Sep 18, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 23, 2024
Assata Omowale is a Career and Emotional Intelligence Coach. She is the owner of CPR Management Coaching, a company that supports committed mid-career professionals in designing their own career path and shape their success using Emotional Intelligence, Positive Intelligence and Neuroscience tools.
Emotional intelligence is about more than just understanding your emotions—it's about mastering your responses to them so you can choose actions that lead to success. By becoming aware of your feelings, understanding them with compassion, and learning to manage your responses to them, you gain the power to make choices that positively impact your life and relationships. Whether in personal relationships or your career, emotional intelligence is the key to unlocking your potential.
5 easy tips to boost emotional intelligence with simple actions today
1. Grow your self-awareness
Self-awareness is about knowing what you're feeling and thinking and how they both may influence your actions. It’s the foundation of emotional intelligence because if you can’t recognize your emotions, you can’t manage them and act with the kind of intention that gives you power and agency in many situations.
Do this: Notice! Start by paying attention to your body during conversations, in your environment, or while doing tasks. Ask yourself:
“Is my body tense or relaxed?”
“Is my energy high, low, or neutral?”
“What am I telling myself right now?”
This practice helps you tune into your physical state first. To go deeper, ask, "Why is my body responding this way?" and "Is it helping or hindering me in the situation?"
2. Build your self-management
Self-management means you have the power to choose. Is your ability to control your actions, especially in challenging situations. It’s what helps you stay calm under pressure and avoid impulsive reactions that you might regret later. Awareness provides you with valuable information, so you can choose to self-manage by shifting if necessary.
Do this: Next time you experience unpleasant feelings like anger, anxiety, or frustration:
What is the emotion I'm experiencing? Naming it helps bring calm.
Instead of saying, "I am angry," try, "There is anger here"
Take a deep breath in for 3 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds.
Say, "I get to choose my response," so, "What's really happening right now, is the conclusion I'm drawing true?"
These simple ways to pause can help you choose a more intentional action instead of reacting on autopilot. It gives your brain's executive center time to catch up and cultivate a better plan of action and shift if necessary!
3. Broaden your environmental awareness
Organizational awareness is about understanding or at least being curious about your spaces and the emotions and dynamics within any group, whether it’s your workplace or team you’re part of. It’s about sensing how people are feeling, responding and listening for what they are really wanting. It's also about noticing who has power and influence and in what ways.
Do this: In your next team meeting, observe the mood or energy in the room:
Who’s engaged? Who seems distant?
Who is making the decisions?
Who's part of which network?
Just noticing these cues can give you insights into how to interact more effectively with your group and even reveal your own influence and choose how to use it.
4. Improve your relationship management
Managing relationships well means building and maintaining healthy connections with others. In most cases, it means wanting both parties to win. This requires learning what matters most to others, honouring their values, communicating clearly, resolving conflicts, and listening without judgment or trying to interpret what they mean.
Do this:
Practice active listening in your next conversation. Focus entirely on the speaker without interrupting or planning your response. I know this is hard!
Ask questions to clarify what they mean, not to confirm your guessing
After they’re done, summarize what they said to ensure you understood correctly: "I heard. Is that what you meant?" This shows respect and helps build safety and stronger relationships.
Be compassionate, especially in conflict. If you find this difficult, imagine the person as their 5-year-old self, and listen with empathy.
Decide on the impact you want your response to have.
5. Use reflection & practice
Emotional intelligence isn’t something you master overnight. You get countless opportunities to practice, so it requires ongoing reflection and practice. Reflecting on your experiences with yourself, situations, and others and making tweaks along the way helps you learn and grow over time.
Do this: At the end of each day, reflect on how you handled your emotions and interactions:
What went well?
What could you improve?
Why does this matter?
Jot down your thoughts and plan how you’ll approach similar situations in the future.
Conclusion
Growing your emotional intelligence is new for many of us, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. By focusing on these simple tips—self-awareness, self-management, organizational awareness, relationship management, and regular reflection—you can start to enhance your emotional intelligence in everyday life and win. Try one tip today and see the difference it makes!
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Read more from Assata Omowale
Assata Omowale, Career & Emotional Intelligence Coach
Assata Omowale is an awareness evangelist who is always excited about the power of self-discovery and self-management to facilitate personal growth, confidence and influence. As a Career & Emotional Intelligence Coach and an expat she has a keen interest in identity, people and how they function, consciously or unconsciously within spaces. She loves supporting highly skilled mid career professionals over 30 trapped in supporting roles to make bold moves in careers they love with confidence and grace.
