Written by: Tamara Zoner, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are you tired of meaningless conversations revolving around the weather or the latest trend in television viewing? Are you feeling like you’ve outgrown your friends and you’re done with the same old gossip and negativity but don’t know where to turn for something more?
We Need Connection
As human beings, we’re wired for connection. Sometimes the superficial is enough for us, but more often, especially as we get older, we crave more depth and substance in our relationships. Even if you’ve been surrounded by the same crowd for years, you can develop deeper, more intimate, and authentic relationships through 3 simple keys.
Key#1
First, start showing up authentically yourself. People can’t love us for who we truly are unless we’re willing to bring our authentic selves into our relationships. That means to stop faking it for love and acceptance! If you’re quirky and love reptiles or have unusual hobbies, let it show! The people who will be willing to love you for who you are and have deeper conversations with you are the ones who are also embracing their own unique qualities. Often, we need to take time to deepen our relationship with ourselves and learn to accept and love the parts of us that we’ve spent years hiding to try to fit in. If you want more authentic relationships and conversations, forget about fitting into the mainstream. Focus on being yourself and finding like-minded people!
Key#2
Though old friends may be inspired by your newfound courage and authenticity and grow along with you, it’s often more difficult to cultivate deeper relationships in the same pool of people. That’s why your second key is to get out there and look for new friends! Meetup.com is a wonderful way to search for groups and activities that share your interests and who meet in real life (imagine that!) in a location near you. Meetup has groups all over the world and features every kind of interest from the metaphysical to bugs to hiking and everything in between. If you happen to be in the Metro Detroit area, there’s a wonderful Meetup, run by yours truly, specifically for people looking to create more authentic connections!
Key#3
Finally, to cultivate deep, meaningful, and authentic connections and relationships, be courageous. Be vulnerable. Be willing to ask questions that might feel, “too personal,” or inappropriate in general conversation. To go beyond the surface we have to dive deep. We have to be willing to sit with the discomfort that we may feel within ourselves when someone else is sharing from their heart. It’s ok to be uncomfortable. You’ll survive. The more you practice stepping into the unknown, the easier it gets. If you want to be seen and heard for exactly who you truly are, beneath all of the armor and disguises you’ve put on in this lifetime, then you have to be willing to do the same for another person.
Living an authentic, meaningful life and cultivating deep friendships is simple, even if it isn’t easy, and it’s always worth it.
If you’re ready to surround yourself with people just like you who are cultivating deeper relationships with themselves and others, join my private Facebook Group, (Create) A Life You Love, Now and follow me on FB, Instagram, YouTube, & LinkedIn or visit my website for more info!
Tamara Zoner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tamara is an award-winning Keynote Speaker and Happiness Trainer on a mission to create greater happiness in the world by educating individuals and groups on Practical Happiness. After leaving a 15-year abusive marriage, Tamara rebuilt her life and her confidence using the same skills she now teaches others. Once miserable, Tamara is now one of the happiest people she knows! A show-not-tell single mom to 3 awesome teenagers and karaoke enthusiast, Tamara demonstrates daily how to create a life you love!
