12 Sneaky Thinking Traps That Disguise Themselves as Anxiety and How to Manage Them
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 22
- 10 min read
Cleopatra Zhonga is a licensed mental health counselor and an ERP-certified Specialist for treating OCD, phobias, and other obsessive-compulsive related disorders. She founded Thought Shift Therapy, a private practice dedicated to shifting mindsets and transforming the way we approach fear, anxiety, and mental health challenges.
Anxiety doesn't always show up the way we expect. Sometimes, it hides behind thoughts that feel logical, even helpful, but actually keep us stuck in a stress mode or low mood. These thought patterns are called cognitive distortions, and they're tricky because they often sound like facts. “Individuals experience automatic thoughts in response to events, which in turn lead to emotional and behavioral responses”. [1]
Let’s identify the 12 cognitive distortions that disguise anxiety with real-life examples and simple ways to challenge them to retrain your brain and create new neuropathways for alternate perspectives.
1. Catastrophizing
Have you ever had a thought that seemed catastrophic? A common thinking pattern of anxiety is when we take something relatively small or neutral and blow it out of proportion until it feels catastrophic. For example, you make a mistake at work and suddenly your whole life feels over. Or you trip in front of a large crowd and assume everyone thinks you are an embarrassment.
This type of thinking is harmful because we jump straight to danger and threat, which only makes our perspective worse. In reality, did it really go down like that?
Try asking yourself about alternative thoughts that might also be true. My favorite trick is thinking about the best outcome of the worst-case scenario. For example, maybe your mistake at work caused frustration and extra effort to fix. That’s definitely scary, but the best outcome is that everyone works together to fix it and then moves on. Everyone makes mistakes, and maybe next time you’ll be the one fixing someone else’s. That doesn’t have to define you or them.
2. All-or-nothing thinking
All-or-nothing thinking, sometimes called “black and white” thinking, is another trap that shows up in many disorders beyond anxiety. It can appear in depression, OCD, borderline personality disorder, and more. If there’s one thing our brains all have in common, regardless of mental health status, it’s that we can get stuck in all-or-nothing patterns.
An example might sound like. “If I don’t pass my exam, I am a complete failure and my life is over.” This kind of statement leaves no room for progress or growth. Not only can mistakes and so-called “failures” help us grow, but they are nothing to fear. Failure is a scary word, but its definition is simple, we didn’t hit the mark. That doesn’t mean you can’t try again, that your life isn’t worth living, or that all your progress and experience are erased.
Just like seasons, goals come and go. Try creating a smaller goal and focusing on the effort behind it. It’s also important to celebrate small wins because life is a rollercoaster full of both failures and victories. It doesn't help to only focus on the extremes. The journey counts too.
Once you find the beauty and fun in the journey, no outcome can make or break you, because you’ve already accomplished the experience.
3. Unrealistic standards
A very common thinking pattern that shows up when we put pressure on ourselves is unrealistic standards. Let’s be real, standards are a thing, and they can be a very good marker of your values and needs. However, sometimes they become unrealistic if they are based on fear, low self-esteem, or even outdated or oversized expectations.
An example might sound like. “I should be more productive today” or “I must lose 10 pounds by next week.” Can these statements reflect goals? Sure. But the idea that you should or must do something sets you up for unnecessary pressure. The whole reason we set goals is to accomplish a desire or a need, and ideally, that should be a fun and reasonably challenging experience.
When you place too much pressure on yourself, discouragement can creep in if you don’t reach the goal. Instead of using language that feels so permanent, try telling yourself that you are working toward something important and that you’ll put in effort to reach it. Notice how this shifts the focus to your values and needs, and highlights the effort you’re making regardless of the outcome.
It’s also helpful to look within and explore where your expectations are coming from, and what the true significance might be if you don’t meet them perfectly.
4. Overgeneralizing
Overgeneralization is a cognitive distortion where we take the outcome of a past event and assume all future events will turn out the same. “This always happens to me.”
The problem with this thinking is that outcomes, especially ones outside of your control, are often random. There is no code in the universe that makes you always get the worst end of the stick. When you think this way, it starts to define you.
Try to remember that outcomes differ based on many factors, and your effort and level of control matter too. Remind yourself of the things you’ve done well, and that past mistakes or bad situations are only a chapter in your story, not the whole book.
5. Ignoring the positive
In today’s culture, it’s so easy to forget about the positive things. Why? That might not be entirely your fault. When we watch the news, we mostly see bad things reported and rarely the good. When we make mistakes, we often use punishment as a way to improve. Punishment and negativity tend to carry more weight because fear is such a powerful emotion. But powerful doesn’t always mean beneficial.
Saying things like “That doesn’t count” or “I’m still upset despite my success today” trains the brain to skip over wins and focus on flaws. Over time, this type of thinking shapes your worldview into seeing the glass as half empty, when in reality, life is full of both ups and downs.
Instead, try writing down the good things that happened during the week, or practicing gratitude. These habits can help train your brain to notice what went well rather than always zooming in on the negative. And hey, I get it, sometimes negative feelings cloud our ability to think positively.
That’s okay. It doesn’t have to be a positive thought, it can simply be a neutral one to start with.
The point is, we don’t have to think in extremes to recognize that there’s more to life than just the negative.
6. Exaggeration
We’re all guilty of sometimes exaggerating a situation, especially when emotions are intense. If you’ve ever found yourself saying “This is a complete disaster” or “Today is ruined”, then you’ve entered the thought pattern of exaggeration.
When we inflate small mistakes into huge problems, we often get stuck and struggle to move forward or find a solution. In these moments, it’s important to take a step back, take a deep breath, and honestly label the moment. We can acknowledge that the situation might not be ideal and could cause stress, sadness, anger, or guilt.
But is everything truly ruined? Even in the worst-case scenario, there is always room to move forward, even if it is tough. Once we see a path forward, things are not as big as they seem, even if they are really challenging.
7. Jumping to conclusions
We often notice that when people don’t have all the information, we tend to fill in the blanks. This is similar to what happens when conspiracy theories form. It is a natural process for us to seek certainty in unknown spaces.
If you’ve ever texted someone who doesn’t respond right away and thought to yourself, “They must hate me,” then you are engaging in assumptions and jumping to harsh conclusions.
Without checking the facts, it is easy to create stories, and possibilities can become endless. That is overwhelming.
But just because you can imagine a possibility, it doesn’t make it true. This is where open communication can help by allowing you to ask the questions you are seeking answers to. If that is not possible, try checking the facts. Consider other explanations that could be true, and ask yourself if you can make this call without all the information.
Take a step back, practice patience, and recognize that the answer might come on its own with new information, or it might never come. That can feel scary, but it is a part of life. We can still move forward with uncertainty, whether we like it or not.
8. Emotional reasoning
One of the most important cognitive distortions is emotional reasoning because it feels the most real. Most decision-making naturally takes personal feelings into account, whether we like to admit it or not. This is similar to bias, where we tend to lean toward things we believe to be true, regardless of actual evidence.
An example of emotional reasoning is “I feel anxious, so something must be wrong.” This kind of thinking can lead to avoidance patterns, false conclusions without evidence, or impulsive reactions.
Although feelings are valid, they are not always true. You can start by acknowledging and labeling your feelings, while also recognizing that it does not always indicate reality. For example, you could say, “I feel impending doom from anxiety, but that does not mean something bad is going to happen. It just means my body is reacting to a perceived threat.”
9. Self-blame and criticism
We tend to be our own worst critics, and this can show up as self-blame or negative self-talk. The problem with constant negative self-talk is that it can instantly kill your confidence and prevent you from growing.
Not all problems that arise are your fault, and if they are, it is okay to learn from them and build yourself up. “Improvement” wouldn’t be a word if we were meant to be perfect.
Try being honest about what you actually control and what you don’t. It is also okay to let it go. Letting go is a choice, after all.
10. Name-calling
Similar to self-blame and criticism, name-calling is an especially hard pattern to break once you develop the habit. Harsh inner talk chips away at your self-esteem over time.
Think about it from a different perspective. A kid grows up only hearing that he will never be a good baseball player. This kid might start doubting himself, criticizing himself for mistakes, engaging in all-or-nothing thinking, and avoiding baseball altogether, thus limiting any potential to improve.
Now imagine you are that kid and constantly telling yourself that you can’t do something or calling yourself names. Your brain starts to believe it, and eventually, you build your identity around that insult, limiting yourself from growth.
Try replacing insults with the truth. Maybe this kid wasn’t initially good at baseball. Who is? But he can practice and get better. Maybe you made a mistake, that happens. We all do. Just acknowledge the mistake and create an action plan for next time.
11. Taking things personally
Oftentimes, when someone has low self-esteem, a past trauma, or heightened anxiety, taking things personally can come into play. This is a very common behavior where we instantly think we did something wrong when observing a situation or another person.
Taking on emotional responsibility for everyone around you is not only exhausting and unhealthy, but it is also unrealistic. People are allowed to feel, just like you are. If there is an issue, let others bear the responsibility of letting you know. You don’t have to carry the weight of “what if” because that is not your job.
Another thing to remember is that anxiety has a big ego. Those with anxiety often feel like everyone is watching them or that everything is about them. Not on purpose, of course, it just happens when you are hyperaware.
Try reminding yourself that every person has their own world, shaped by their perspectives, experiences, goals, and thoughts. Not everyone is thinking about us the way we think they are.
12. Worrying
Finally, the staple of anxiety, worrying. You might find yourself worrying about every possible scenario that could go wrong, and your brain spirals into what-ifs, but never lands on anything helpful. This is where mindfulness can be a huge tool.
Try remembering that all that exists is this moment, and ask yourself, What can I do today? Is the problem or issue solvable right now? Anticipatory anxiety can feel the worst when something big or scary is approaching. But focus on the here and now. What can you do in this moment to enjoy the day that we can guarantee?
Personally, I like to use acceptance and commitment therapy here as well. Cognitive diffusion is when we notice a thought and then notice that we are having the thought, helping us distance ourselves and recognize it for what it is, just a thought.
An example of this is recognizing a scary thought like, “What if my car breaks down tomorrow and I miss my big meeting at work?” This is definitely a scary thought. Now let’s push it further and notice ourselves having the thought. Recognize that it caused some scary feelings. We can see that it was the thought causing these feelings, and in reality, it is just a thought.
We don’t have all the answers for tomorrow, and we can’t predict what will happen from a scary thought. If someone asked you to think about a giant 10-foot spider wreaking havoc on your neighborhood, it would be scary, especially if you hate spiders. But does thinking this thought make it more likely to come true?
Final note
These thinking traps are sneaky, but learning to spot them is the first step toward feeling better. If you notice one of them showing up, try these techniques to challenge them and learn to live with them.
You’re not broken for thinking this way. You’re just human. And the more awareness you bring to your thoughts, the more freedom you’ll have to change them. If you still find it difficult to manage, consider working with our licensed therapists who specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy. Request a free consultation to see how we can help you!
Cleopatra Zhonga, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Cleopatra Zhonga is a licensed mental health counselor specializing in obsessive-compulsive disorders. Drawing on her own experience with OCD, she connects deeply with clients through empathy and firsthand understanding. Having learned to manage her own OCD, Cleopatra has been dedicated to helping others break free from the constraints of fear and break stereotypes surrounding mental health. She founded Thought Shift Therapy as a space to shift thinking, retrain the brain, and face life’s challenges head-on by reframing personal narratives.
Reference:
[1] (Rnić, 2016)
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