Written by Dr. Leslie Davis, Clinical Counselor and Relationship Expert Dr. Leslie Davis is the heart behind Eva Empowered, a movement dedicated to helping women around the world to break free from the cycle of toxic relationships and reclaim their worth.  Hookups in jiu jitsu gyms are not necessarily unethical. However, when intimate relationships brew within power-imbalanced training environments, they can mirror familiar dynamics of power, control, and dependency, patterns that are well-documented in intimate partner violence. These dynamics are often subtle, normalized, and easily dismissed as “consensual,” particularly within gym cultures that prioritize loyalty and silence. Why this conversation is uncomfortable but necessary Periodically, the jiu jitsu community is rocked by public allegations of coaches sexually assaulting their students. As with many forms of intimate partner violence, these stories rarely surface at the first instance of harm. They emerge when patterns have escalated, and victims have reached a breaking point, refusing to remain silent. But why is the jiu jitsu community stuck just talking about this and not taking meaningful action? This article is written from the inside. It draws from my insights as a female purple belt with nine years on the mats, as well as my clinical expertise and work as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. I challenge us all to examine how power, intimacy, and silence intersect in jiu jitsu spaces and why our choice to examine these dynamics is essential to creating safer training environments, especially for women. The gentle art Jiu Jitsu is known as the gentle art, and for many women, jiu jitsu has been portrayed as a safe space. Many of these women find jiu jitsu after seeking refuge from toxic relationships or experiences with sexual assault. They are met with community and encouraged to “keep showing up,” especially on days when they feel uncomfortable. For victims of assault, this can feel just like the grooming they experienced in relationships. But no one talks about this because it threatens the culture of the jiu jitsu community, the reputations of high-ranking coaches, many of whom have created legacies through martial arts, and it damages the sense of belonging. Power dynamics in jiu jitsu gyms Jiu Jitsu is built on hierarchy. From the lowest to the highest-ranking belts, white, blue, purple, brown, black, every practitioner fills a clearly defined place within the system. Rank determines one's authority, access, and influence in the gym. In some jiu jitsu gyms, students are required to bow to their coaches or higher belts or ask permission to train, further reinforcing the formal power structure. Jiu Jitsu coaches hold significant power and authority, as they are in control of promotions, training opportunities, access to competitions, and social position within the gym. While jiu jitsu is predominantly male-dominated, when women are provided opportunities to coach, they are often positioned as the Women’s Coach, a title that appears empowering yet holds less decision-making power and authority. Over time, students observe that certain athletes (both male and female) become favored, receiving faster promotions, increased attention, or preferred training with higher ranks. In some gyms, there are individuals who position themselves as mentors to new or lower-ranked students, teaching the introductory classes or offering private lessons. When these patterns raise concerns, they are often dismissed or overlooked, not because they aren’t true, but because they are normalized behavior within the culture. Hierarchy is framed as tradition, and one’s discomfort is dismissed as personal insecurity. When attention becomes influence: Love bombing Love bombing in jiu jitsu is a common experience for women on the mats. Love bombing is a form of emotional manipulation where a partner provides excessive attention, adoration, affection, gifts, etc., with the intention to gain control and eventually isolate the victim. It feels exciting until it begins to feel like too much, too soon. Women who are new to the art are often warned by more experienced female practitioners to expect guys to send them private messages after training sessions. The messages are not only sent by same-ranked students but also by higher-ranked coaches, who send messages with subtle flirtation. Women have often reported receiving comments on their performance in class or how their training gear looks. For a woman with low self-esteem who has a history of toxic relationships or one who has been abused, the attention can feel reassuring and spark curiosity. But it’s simply a trap. The compliments turn into suggestions to train together in class or meet for private lessons with promises to make their jiu jitsu better. For new students, particularly lower-ranked females who feel the need to prove themselves worthy of their rank or the desired rank, love bombing can provide affirmation and open the door to victimization. Why women are disproportionately affected Women who join jiu jitsu gyms are often brand new to the art. They walk in lacking awareness of the culture and the rules, making them vulnerable to being easily groomed by higher-ranked individuals. These women are also typically younger, under the age of 40, and seek mentorship. As previously mentioned, women in jiu jitsu often share a common experience of trauma. I’ve had many mat chats with women in various gyms who shared their history of being abused or fearing being abused at some point in their lives. Vulnerable women are quickly targeted, not only by individuals within their gyms but also by men who approach them online after they proudly make a post about their jiu jitsu journey. Unknowingly, with her posting, she becomes a target. Women who struggle with attachment wounds may often seek affection and attention, even when it’s toxic, and jiu jitsu gyms become a place where they can attain both. Raising the standard for leadership in jiu jitsu Leadership in jiu jitsu carries influences that extend far beyond the mats. Consider the coaches in your life who made a lasting impact on you, not only through their technical instruction but by their words, conduct, and how they carried themselves. This dynamic does not disappear in adult training environments. When coaches dare to consider the weight of their influence and intentionally consider the impact on the women in their gyms, harm reduction becomes possible. The following suggestions are offered, and any policies established should be viewed and approved by legal counsel. Communicate clear coach-student boundaries Gyms should establish healthy boundaries through clearly written and consistently communicated policies regarding dating in the gym. These policies should not only address coach-student relationships but also student-student relationships. Too often, when a romantic relationship ends, it is the woman who quietly leaves the jiu jitsu community out of shame or discomfort in a space she once sought out and deemed safe and secure. Policies should be communicated regularly, particularly when new students join the gym. Newcomers should not be expected to walk in the door knowing the gym culture, as each gym has its own culture and expectations. Make coaching visible Toxic behaviors often begin subtly and persist behind closed doors. To reduce the risk of misinterpretation or boundary violations, coaching should be conducted publicly and in group settings whenever possible. When private lessons are provided to students, regardless of age, it is recommended to have at least one coach, staff member, or member of gym leadership present on the premises. Coaches should encourage training in environments where both technique and leadership are open for observation. This approach creates accountability, increases transparency, and reduces the risk of blurred roles. Provide mandatory sexual harassment training to all coaching staff and conduct background checks Most professionals are required to complete state-mandated sexual harassment training. Yet, this expectation is lacking in the jiu jitsu community, despite a documented history of students being harmed by coaches and other jiu jitsu community members. A 2020 survey on sexual harassment and assault in jiu jitsu, Shut Up & Train, provides critical insights into the demographics and statistics of individuals within the jiu jitsu community who are affected by sexual harassment. The study indicates that 91% of individuals who reported harassment were women, and 93% of reported sexual harassment was committed by men. Notably, at least 62% of the reported abusers held a higher rank than the harmed individual, highlighting the power imbalance in the art. As a precaution, at a minimum, a background check should be completed on all coaching staff. Domestic violence experts know that a background check will not tell the whole story, but it can provide insight into an individual’s historical behavioral patterns. It is also important to note that a background check only reveals what has been reported, and oftentimes victims of abuse are reluctant to report their abuse to law enforcement for several reasons, which requires further explanation during formal domestic violence awareness and sexual harassment training. Provide multiple pathways for reporting concerns Victims of abuse may not always directly report their concerns if they don’t trust the head coach. When the head coach is the alleged abuser, the incident may go unreported entirely. Individuals who experience sexual abuse, grooming, or any inappropriate intimate behavior must be able to report their concerns without fear of retaliation, which can show up as delayed promotions or being asked to leave the gym. Coaches and gym owners can support a safe environment by designating multiple leaders as points of contact and multiple methods to report concerns. These may include requesting to schedule a meeting with leadership who is not involved in the incident, submitting concerns via email or text, or encouraging reporting concerns in person when immediate support is needed. Coaches and gym owners should not discourage victims from contacting law enforcement and should provide support as needed when legal violations may have occurred. Create visibility for women in leadership and provide women’s classes Women often find safety and belonging alongside other women. Many women are more likely to not only start training jiu jitsu but to stay on the mats when they see other women actively and consistently training too. Retention and longevity increase when a female coach is visibly respected by the head coach, other gym leadership, and students. If the goal is to create a safe environment for women, elevate the women who already train in your gym. This includes promoting the women’s class on the school’s website with accurate and up-to-date information about class availability. Share and promote photos of women training in your gym to reflect the strength and security women can experience collectively in jiu jitsu. Additionally, understand that female victims of abuse may be more comfortable reporting abuse or questionable behaviors and receiving adequate support when a woman holds a leadership position in the gym. Partner with a local domestic violence agency or licensed counselor Abuse and harassment often go undetected and unaddressed when leaders are not trained to know the signs of abuse. Without this awareness, abuse can be minimized, overlooked, or normalized. Jiu jitsu gyms can be proactive in collaborating with a local domestic violence agency or licensed counselor to provide domestic violence awareness training to coaches, staff, and when appropriate, students. Reducing harm and creating a safe environment is a collective responsibility and should never be placed on the shoulders of the victim to protect themselves. Pay attention. Don’t minimize. Don’t blame her. Victims of abuse may have attempted multiple times to express their concerns, only to be met with dismissal or victim-blaming by coaches and other students. When their voices are silenced, changes in behavior often follow. She might start arriving to class late, missing classes, or dodging specific training partners. She might also unexpectedly terminate her membership. These behavioral shifts should never be ignored. Her experience deserves to be heard, not only because her safety matters, but it’s likely that she is not the only victim in the gym. Additionally, it is important to recognize that without a clear understanding of power and control dynamics, victims may not recognize the signs when they are being victimized. Maintain a standard of accountability Jiu jitsu leadership must maintain a standard of accountability that applies to everyone in the gym, not only the leadership. Coaches, regardless of gender, should be held to high standards of respect and model appropriate behavior for each other and all students. Students, both male and female, should also be held accountable for their actions. Let’s be real, not all sexual attention in the gym is unwelcome. And yes, there are individuals who seek validation through physical contact and verbal attention received through their training. However, when the attention is unwanted and a clear boundary has been communicated, it must be stopped. If it continues, appropriate and legal action must be taken to protect the vulnerable. To be clear, victims should not be asked to leave jiu jitsu gyms in order to protect the higher-ranked coach who is popular and admired by the jiu jitsu community. Victims should not be removed because they represent a single membership fee while the abuser enhances or maintains the gym’s financial or public status. Victims should not be dismissed because no one believes her, and leadership claims there’s “no proof” that the abuse occurred. True accountability requires listening to victims, taking the report seriously, and taking action to protect her. Anything less adds to the imbalance of power she has already bravely tried to rebalance. Let’s stop the toxicity Intimate relationships within jiu jitsu will happen, but they don’t have to be toxic or harmful. If you are a jiu jitsu gym owner, jiu jitsu coach, or a practitioner navigating or impacted by the power dynamics in your gym, I welcome the opportunity to connect. As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, I provide mental health awareness training focused on power and control and healthy boundaries. Together, we can reduce harm, challenge the toxic norms in jiu jitsu, and preserve the art as it was intended to be, gentle. Read the Shut Up & Train Report here. The U.S. Center for Safe Sport provides online courses available here. Domestic Violence Resources are available here. Follow me on  Instagram,   LinkedIn,  and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Dr. Leslie Davis Dr. Leslie Davis, Clinical Counselor and Relationship Expert Dr. Leslie Davis is the heart behind Eva Empowered, a movement dedicated to helping women around the world to break free from the cycle of toxic relationships and reclaim their worth.  Dr. D is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and award-winning Relationship Therapist who specializes in guiding high-achieving women and single mothers toward emotional freedom, deep healing, and healthier connections.

Written by Jenni (Benningfield) Black, Mental Performance Coach Jenni (Benningfield) Black is a former professional athlete, a mental performance coach, and the founder of Inner Opponent Coaching. As a certified professional coach, Jenni specializes in working with high-performing leaders, athletes, coaches, and teams. Values are our internal compass. They guide our decisions, ground us in what matters, and shape how we show up in the world. When we’re connected to our values, we act with intention and authenticity. When we’re disconnected from them, life often feels harder than it needs to be. At their core, values create direction, but they also build self-awareness. They become especially important when we feel stuck, conflicted about major decisions, or are trying to change our behavior. Values help us pause, check in, and choose in a way that feels true to who we are. When our values are lived, expressed, and respected, life tends to feel more grounded and meaningful. There’s a sense of clarity, purpose, and energy that comes with alignment, often experienced as a deep, whole-body yes. When we’re out of alignment, the experience feels very different. Misalignment often shows up as ongoing tension or stress, frequent doubt and second-guessing, drained energy, or a sense of burnout and exhaustion. It’s also noticeable in our language when “I want” quietly turns into “I should.” That discomfort isn’t a sign of failure, it’s information. Friction is one of the clearest indicators that something important (one or more of our values) isn’t being honored. Our values become most visible when we’re under pressure. When we act in alignment with them, trust and energy grow. When we don’t, we begin to feel disconnected from ourselves and from others. Values are not goals, roles, or outcomes. They’re the how, not the what. You can achieve a goal and still feel misaligned if the process violates your values. If I asked you, "What do you value and how does it show up daily in your life?" What would you say? If you hesitated, this article is for you. It’s a starting point to understand what matters most to you. Activity: Clarifying your values You can begin by taking a free values assessment online, looking at a list of values, or by asking the three people closest to you what values they see you consistently living by. From there, identify the top ten values. Your challenge is to narrow that list down to your top five values that truly matter most. Use the questions below to reflect and confirm whether these values are genuinely yours. Reflection questions What values must be present and expressed for you to feel authentically yourself? Think about a time when life felt really good, when you felt happy, proud, fulfilled, or satisfied. What value was being supported? Think about a time when you were struggling or feeling stressed. What value was being challenged? Is this value something you use as a filter when making difficult decisions? What are the warning signs that show up when your values aren’t being honored? Also, consider this, "Are these your values, or values you feel you “should” have? Do they come from society, family, or someone else’s expectations?" Why does this matter? These questions help you identify core values tied to your identity, not preferences, goals, or things you simply admire. Values become clearest in moments of alignment and misalignment, and understanding them allows you to recognize friction earlier rather than later. This awareness helps separate true values from habits, roles, or external expectations. This exercise is ultimately an awareness tool. It helps you pause and ask, "Why am I making this decision? What value is being honored here?" That clarity keeps you aligned with what you truly want and supports you in becoming who you want to be. So now what? Before making a decision, ask yourself, "If I say yes to this, what value am I honoring? If I say no, what am I protecting?" Values aren’t meant to live on paper, they’re meant to guide real choices in real moments. And remember, your values may evolve as you grow. That doesn’t mean you were wrong before, it just means you’re paying attention now. Values don’t demand perfection. They ask for attention. The more often you listen, the more aligned and empowered your choices become. If this reflection stirred something for you and you’re ready to move from awareness to action (especially in moments that feel hard), I’d love to connect and explore how coaching can support you in living your values in a way that truly honors who you are.   Follow me on   Instagram ,   LinkedIn , and visit my   website  for more info! Read more from Jenni (Benningfield) Black Jenni (Benningfield) Black, Mental Performance Coach Jenni (Benningfield) Black, a former professional athlete and mental performance coach, discovered the life-changing impact of mental performance during her final year of professional basketball, helping her overcome the mental and emotional challenges of retirement and inspiring her to earn a Master’s Degree in Sports Psychology. Driven by this passion, she founded Inner Opponent Coaching to help high performers break through mental barriers and create a game plan to succeed in what truly matters to them.

Written by Kylie Gallaher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Strategic Psychotherapist Blending innovation with compassion, Kylie Gallaher brings cutting-edge expertise in clinical hypnotherapy to empower lasting change. Grounded in evidence-based practice, her professional journey is dedicated to helping clients overcome challenges and thrive with confidence. ARFID is having a moment. Visibility has arrived. ARFID is now present in mainstream media, across social platforms, and in public conversation. Recognition has brought relief, validation, and language where there was once only confusion. But visibility alone does not automatically lead to progress, and for many living with ARFID, awareness has not yet translated into meaningful change. When recognition brings relief, but not resolution For many, recognition brings genuine relief at finally being seen. What once looked like defiance, fussiness, attention-seeking, manipulation, resistance, or “just a phase” is now understood as something far more serious. Behaviours that were labelled difficult, dramatic, controlling, irrational, too sensitive, or overly anxious are increasingly being viewed through a different lens, rather than judged by appearance, compliance, or assumption. ARFID is no longer invisible, even if it is not yet fully understood. Parents and adults who have spent years feeling confused or blamed are finally encountering language that reflects their lived reality. Having a name for what has long been misunderstood can ease shame, validate experience, and make sense of patterns that previously felt isolating or inexplicable. And yet, as ARFID becomes more visible, an uncomfortable reality is harder to ignore. Visibility does not automatically bring understanding, and what is illuminated is not always seen clearly. Recognition can end confusion without necessarily opening pathways forward. For many families and adults, being named does not change the daily reality of ARFID. The complexity, restriction, and exhaustion of living with an ongoing food-related threat often remain much the same, even after the relief of recognition has arrived. Why ARFID exposes a deeper problem This is not a failure of awareness, it is because ARFID, by its very nature, exposes gaps in how health, risk, safety, and recovery are currently understood. Part of what makes ARFID so difficult to understand is that people do not simply grow out of it. What does change, over time, is the way a person learns to live with it. As children become adolescents, and adolescents become adults, relationships with food inevitably evolve. Coping strategies become more sophisticated. Avoidance can become quieter. Accommodation can look like adaptation. And for some, that adaptation can conceal a deep sense of shame. From the outside, this can resemble resolution. But adaptation is not the same as safety. For many people, the underlying sense of threat remains, even as life moves forward. What appears as improvement may reflect survival within constraint, rather than a genuine shift in how the nervous system experiences eating, or how a person feels within themselves. This is one reason ARFID can be mistaken for a passing stage, particularly when the cost of adaptation to a person’s sense of self, psychosocial wellbeing, relationships, and health is hidden or normalised over time. In online spaces, media narratives, and even some advocacy conversations, ARFID is increasingly framed as a lifelong condition to be managed rather than a state that can meaningfully shift. Coping strategies, accommodations, and acceptance rightly feature as essential tools, particularly when safety has been absent for a long time. But alongside this, an implicit message often remains that this is permanent, and hoping for more may be unrealistic or even harmful. What is far less visible in public discourse is any clear explanation of how meaningful change might occur without repeating the harms that led to this caution in the first place. No one is to blame for this narrative. It has developed in response to very real harm and heavy costs. Many families have experienced coercive treatment approaches. Many adults have been dismissed, misunderstood, or retraumatised by systems that focused on behaviour without addressing what was driving it. Over time, these experiences can narrow participation and increase withdrawal from care and everyday life. In that context, accommodation becomes protection. Permanence can come to feel safer than false hope, particularly when past attempts at change have only ever been offered through the same narrow lens. For some, progress has been defined by small behavioural gains that, while hard-won, feel vanishingly small when set against the scale of eating itself. Eating is an ongoing, inescapable part of daily life rather than a single challenge to overcome. Eating is not a single task or an outcome, it is something required multiple times a day, every day, across nearly every setting of life. When the underlying sense of threat remains, even meaningful gains can feel tentative, fragile, or unsustainable, overshadowed by the ongoing physical, emotional, and social demands that eating places on a person’s nervous system, health, and sense of self. ARFID is distinct from other eating disorders in ways that matter deeply here. ARFID is distinct in its primary drivers, even though it can intersect with or sit alongside other eating disorders over time. For people with ARFID, food avoidance is not about weight, shape, or control. It is about threat. A nervous system that has learned, often early and implicitly, that eating, swallowing, certain textures, sensations, or internal bodily cues are dangerous. When this distinction is flattened, ARFID is pulled into frameworks that were not originally designed to hold it. When ARFID is understood in this way, its complexity becomes harder to contain within neat categories. The nervous system threat that sits at its core does not exist in isolation from development, context, or experience over time. This is where the boundaries between diagnostic labels begin to blur, and where ARFID’s distinct drivers can intersect with other patterns of eating difficulty in ways that challenge simplified models of both disorder and recovery. When ARFID intersects with other eating disorders Acknowledging ARFID’s distinct drivers also requires holding the complexity of how eating difficulties can evolve or layer over time. This does not mean ARFID simply becomes another eating disorder. More often, layers are added. The underlying nervous system threat remains, while additional meanings, behaviours, or coping strategies develop around it, shaped by prolonged restriction, social pressure, medical risk, or repeated experiences of misattunement in care. For some people, patterns of restriction driven initially by fear, sensory threat, or bodily mistrust can intersect with concerns more commonly associated with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or orthorexia. In these cases, weight, shape, control, or body image may begin to influence the relationship with food alongside the original threat-based avoidance. Over the past few years, ARFID has moved into a clearer public view. Mainstream reporting from outlets such as ABC News has drawn attention to its prevalence and frequent misunderstanding, while other Australian media coverage has highlighted that ARFID affects far more people than previously assumed. This growing recognition is not limited to Australia. Internationally, similar patterns are emerging, with UK health services reporting increasing numbers of ARFID-related presentations and growing pressure on eating disorder services. At the same time, research across Australia and New Zealand has noted rising clinical attention to ARFID, alongside persistent gaps in prevalence data and treatment clarity. Before ARFID was formally recognised, many children and adults were diagnosed with atypical anorexia and treated within anorexia-based frameworks because restriction and weight loss were the most visible risks. In those contexts, treatment often focused on weight restoration or behavioural compliance, without adequately addressing the fear, sensory processing differences, or bodily danger that were driving the restriction in the first place. When treatment does not align with the mechanism, it can unintentionally reinforce the threat rather than reduce it. For some, this has not only failed to help but has compounded fear, eroded trust in care, created a cavernous distance between their lived experience and treatment, and made recovery more complex rather than more accessible. As a result, progress is often measured externally. Can the person eat enough? Can they tolerate exposure? Can they comply with expectations? When those benchmarks are met, the condition is considered managed. When they are not, families are frequently told to lower expectations or accept long-term limitations. More than food: How ARFID shapes life What gets lost in this framing is that ARFID is rarely confined to food alone. It shapes participation in life. Medical care becomes complicated. Schooling, work, travel, and social connections are carefully negotiated or avoided altogether. Parents reorganise entire family systems around safety. Adults learn to narrow their worlds quietly, often with remarkable ingenuity and resilience, but at a cost that is rarely visible from the outside. From the outside, this can look like preference or rigidity. From the inside, it is often about survival. When hope becomes culturally unsafe The current information ecosystem around ARFID reflects this tension, particularly in online support spaces and lived-experience-led communities. Social media and mainstream platforms have played an important role in validation and visibility. They have helped people feel seen and less alone. But they can also, unintentionally, reinforce the idea that coping and accommodation are the end of the road. In one large online support group, I once saw a parent ask, cautiously, whether anyone had seen improvement beyond accommodation. The responses were immediate and protective. Many reassured them that acceptance was the goal, that ARFID was lifelong, and that pushing for change could do harm. What was striking was not the advice itself, but the emotional charge around the question. Hope, even gently expressed, felt unsafe. That reaction makes sense. When recognition has been hard-won, anything that sounds like “fixing” can feel like a return to force. When people have been harmed by treatment, permanence can feel more honest than optimism or even hope. But when a culture quietly communicates that meaningful change is not to be expected, something important is lost, and possibilities are limited to a very small window. Part of the difficulty is that ARFID sits at the intersection of systems that do not align well. Eating disorder models tend to prioritise behaviour. Anxiety models often prioritise cognition. Medical systems focus on risk management. Social narratives emphasise identity and acceptance. Each offers something valuable, but none fully accounts for what happens when a nervous system is organised around an ongoing threat. When safety is misunderstood, risk is misjudged. Well-intentioned interventions can inadvertently reinforce danger rather than reduce it. Accommodation becomes both necessary and limiting. Awareness increases, but pathways forward remain unclear. For many people, this is not a lack of willingness or effort, but a reflection of how approaches that begin with safety, agency, and nervous system regulation remain underrepresented in public-facing discussions of ARFID care. Rethinking recovery without oversimplifying it ARFID challenges us to rethink what recovery actually means. Recovery does not have to mean erasing sensory sensitivities, pretending food is neutral, or forcing bodies into compliance. These framings have caused real harm, and the caution that has followed them is understandable. But neither does recovery have to mean a lifetime of shrinking around threat. There is a wide, largely under-recognised space between coercion and resignation, between “just eat” and “this is as good as it gets.” This is not a theoretical or mythical space. It is the space I work in every day, informed both by clinical practice and by the lived experience of recovery, where safety is treated as the starting point rather than a reward for compliance. It is a space that already exists in clinical practice, where work is oriented toward restoring safety, agency, and trust in the body, rather than simply increasing tolerance or compliance. In this space, change is understood in relation to the scale of eating itself, as something that occurs multiple times a day, every day, across almost every context of life. It is therefore approached with care for sustainability, not just short-term gains. Many families and adults are already expending enormous effort to live alongside ARFID. They are often highly resourced in coping, accommodation, and protection, having learned how to manage risk and reduce harm in daily life. What is often missing is not effort, insight, or willingness, but a shared understanding between those living with ARFID and the systems meant to support them of just how meaningful change might be possible. The difficulty is not a lack of effort or willingness. It is that while approaches grounded in safety, agency, and nervous system regulation are already being practised, they remain largely underrepresented in public-facing conversations about ARFID treatment. Where specialist services do exist, they are often oriented toward children and families, with far fewer clearly articulated pathways for adults. More intensive or residential care tailored to ARFID’s distinct mechanisms remains scarce or unavailable in many regions. As a result, even when this work exists in practice, it can be difficult for many people to find, access, or recognise as relevant to their situation. This gap between what exists in practice and what is publicly understood helps explain why increased awareness has not yet translated into meaningful change. Why awareness alone isn’t enough This is why ARFID matters beyond itself. Because it reveals the limitations of frameworks that equate management with healing and compliance with recovery. It exposes how often we stop at recognition and mistake naming the problem for solving it. What the research currently tells us about ARFID treatment is still emerging, uneven, and incomplete. There is no single answer, and no universal pathway. But what is already clear is that awareness alone is not enough. Recognition without meaningful change leaves families and adults suspended in a state of informed uncertainty. This uncertainty is magnified when eating remains a daily, embodied source of threat rather than a neutral background task. And while information is abundant, validation is widespread, coherent pathways that bridge safety and change remain largely out of public view. This article is not about offering solutions or protocols. That conversation belongs later. For now, it is about naming the gap between visibility and impact, and why that gap matters. ARFID deserves more than a spotlight. It deserves ways of thinking about safety, risk, and recovery that allow it to be seen clearly, rather than simply seen, without collapsing into force on one side or permanence on the other. It deserves a discourse where seriousness and hope are allowed to coexist, and where imagining change is not seen as a betrayal of lived experience, but as a continuation of it. For those living in the space between recognition and resolution, this is not a question of waiting for better answers someday. It is about finding approaches that already begin with safety, respect complexity, and allow change to unfold at the pace the nervous system requires. This is the space I work in every day. For those seeking support that moves beyond coping alone, this work is already happening in practice. Future articles will explore what current research tells us about ARFID treatment, how nervous system-informed approaches are being used in practice, and what recovery can look like when safety is treated as foundational rather than optional. Future articles will continue to explore what it means to approach ARFID treatment and recovery and related experiences through the lens of safety, complexity, and lived experience. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Kylie Gallaher Kylie Gallaher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Strategic Psychotherapist Kylie Gallaher leads Newcastle Clinical Hypnotherapy, the region’s only specialised hypnotherapy team, offering comprehensive support in all areas where hypnotherapy is beneficial. With advanced qualifications and a focus on evidence-based methods, she has established herself as a leader in the field. Kylie specialises in ARFID, eating disorders, trauma, anxiety, and related conditions including gastrointestinal disorders, and is committed to reshaping treatment approaches in Australia. Her professional journey reflects a dedication to blending science with compassion, delivering measurable results and raising the standard of clinical hypnotherapy nationwide. Further reading: What the research currently tells us about ARFID treatment

Written by Ella Thomas, Bookkeeping & Accounting Strategist Ella Thomas is a Bookkeeping and Accounting Specialist and the founder of Strategic Bookkeeping Specialists. She helps business owners gain confidence, control, and peace of mind with their finances so they can fully focus on growing the business they love. In today’s fast-paced, highly digital world, customer service is often associated with call centers, help desks, and front-facing roles. But in reality, customer service is not a department, it is a mindset. It is reflected in the smallest, most consistent actions we take every day, regardless of our job title. Whether you are an entrepreneur, a manager, a bookkeeper, a teacher, or a team member in any industry, the way you interact with others defines your professional reputation. True excellence in service is built on simple habits that communicate respect, care, and professionalism. Here are five customer service skills that are highly valuable in every profession and why they still matter more than ever. 1. Saying good morning: The power of acknowledgment A simple “Good morning” may seem insignificant, yet it is one of the most powerful tools for building connection. Greeting others shows that you see them, value their presence, and recognize their role in the shared environment. When you acknowledge someone first thing in the day, you set a positive tone. It communicates openness, approachability, and mutual respect. Over time, these small interactions create workplaces where people feel welcomed rather than invisible. In leadership and business, this habit fosters trust. In client relationships, it reinforces warmth and professionalism. And in daily life, it reminds us that kindness requires very little effort.   2. Knocking before entering: Respecting personal and professional boundaries Respect is the foundation of strong professional relationships, and one of the simplest ways to show it is by knocking before entering. Whether it is a physical office, a meeting room, or even a virtual space, asking permission before entering someone’s space communicates consideration. It shows that you recognize others’ autonomy and boundaries. In a world where urgency often overrides courtesy, this small act stands out. It demonstrates emotional intelligence and reinforces a culture of mutual respect, one where people feel safe, valued, and trusted.   3. Giving your full attention: The gift of presence One of the greatest forms of customer service is presence. Giving someone your full attention without distractions, multitasking, or interruptions signals that their time and concerns matter. When someone speaks to you, and you listen actively, you are not just gathering information. You are building connections. Eye contact, thoughtful responses, and genuine engagement create trust and clarity. In professional settings, attentive listening prevents misunderstandings, improves problem-solving, and strengthens collaboration. For clients, it reassures them that they are not just another task on your to-do list, they are a priority. In an era of constant notifications and divided attention, being fully present has become a rare and valuable skill.   4. Owning mistakes: Accountability builds credibility Mistakes happen. No matter how experienced or careful we are, errors are part of growth. What defines professionalism is not perfection, but accountability. Acknowledging a mistake, offering a sincere apology, and taking responsibility show integrity. It demonstrates maturity, humility, and commitment to improvement. Even more important is taking action to prevent the same mistake from happening again. This follow-through builds confidence and trust with clients, colleagues, and leadership. When people know you will own your missteps and make things right, they are more likely to respect you, support you, and continue working with you.   5. Making personal connections: Eye contact, handshakes, and introductions First impressions still matter. Looking someone in the eye, offering a firm handshake, and introducing yourself with confidence create an immediate sense of professionalism. These gestures communicate presence, sincerity, and respect. They signal that you are engaged, prepared, and comfortable in professional interactions. In business relationships, these small courtesies lay the groundwork for trust. They humanize interactions and remind us that behind every title, role, and transaction is a person. Even in increasingly virtual environments, the same principles apply through tone, attentiveness, and clear communication. Exceptional customer service is not found in grand gestures. It is found in daily discipline. It is built through small, repeated choices that reflect respect, accountability, and genuine care for others. When you greet people warmly, respect their boundaries, listen attentively, own your mistakes, and connect with confidence, you elevate not only your own work, but the entire environment around you. No matter your profession, these habits position you as someone others trust, respect, and want to work with. In the end, success is not just about what we do. It is about how we show up every single day. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Ella Thomas Ella Thomas, Bookkeeping & Accounting Strategist Ella Thomas is the founder of Strategic Bookkeeping Specialists, dedicated to helping business owners simplify their finances and build confidence in their numbers. With years of experience in bookkeeping and accounting, she understands the challenges entrepreneurs face and provides practical strategies to bring clarity and peace of mind. Ella’s mission is to empower business owners to focus on what they love, growing their business, while she takes care of the financial details. Discover more insights and tips by visiting her profile page.

Taiye Aluko is a relationship and marriage coach specializing in emotional intelligence. She works with couples and high-achieving individuals to address emotional disconnection and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Taiye’s method helps transform relationships from surviving to thriving, focusing on emotional awareness, communication, and practical tools for reconnecting. Taiye Aluko, Relationship Coach Who is Taiye Aluko? Taiye Aluko is a relationship and marriage coach, emotional intelligence practitioner, and the founder of Raregems Coaching & Counselling. I work primarily with couples and high-achieving individuals who appear “fine” on the outside, yet privately feel emotionally disconnected, misunderstood, or exhausted within their relationships. At home, I’m intentional about quiet rhythms and genuine connection. I enjoy exercising, relaxing with friends over unhurried lunch dates, and the simple but powerful joy of being fully present. I’m not drawn to noise; I’m drawn to depth and that value deeply shapes my work. Something interesting about me is that I am a twin and also a twin mama. Growing up with a twin sister was joyful, but it also came with constant comparison. For a long time, I struggled with fully owning my individuality. As I grew older and became more emotionally aware, I learned to embrace my uniqueness. It has been and continues to be a beautiful journey of self-acceptance. What pivotal life or career moment led you to become a relationship and marriage coach? It wasn’t a single dramatic moment; it was a pattern I kept seeing. I observed that many people genuinely love each other and deeply desire healthy homes. They often have wonderful courtships, yet after marriage, they begin to feel lonely inside the same relationship. They weren’t failing because they lacked love; they were struggling because they lacked emotional skills. This insight is also deeply personal. In my own marriage, we experienced seasons of intense conflict moments that almost caused us to give up on each other. It wasn’t until we learned to pause, regulate our emotions, and respond differently that we began to experience real shifts in our connection. Working with couples, I consistently see how stress, unspoken expectations, emotional triggers, and unresolved hurts quietly shape the emotional climate of a home. That observation made me deeply curious about what actually makes love sustainable. That curiosity led me into emotional intelligence work and eventually into relationship coaching, where I could merge empathy, structure, and skill-building. I discovered that beyond romance and chemistry, it is emotional awareness and emotional regulation that truly sustain relationships. How would you describe the core problem most couples come to you with, even if they don’t realize it yet? The core problem is almost always emotional disconnection. Couples may say, “We don’t communicate,” “We argue all the time,” or “We’re no longer close.” But beneath those complaints is a deeper pain: I don’t feel emotionally seen. I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel understood. It is possible to live together, parent together, and build a life together, yet still feel emotionally alone. That silent loneliness is what many couples struggle to name. Even infidelity, in many cases, begins where emotional disconnection has been left unattended. What makes your approach to relationship coaching different from traditional counselling methods? My work is emotionally intelligent, practical, and skill-based. Traditional approaches can sometimes keep couples stuck in explanation without transformation. There may be a lot of talking and analysis, but not enough tools for real-life moments when emotions escalate, when tone shifts, when someone shuts down, when resentment surfaces, or when trust feels fragile. I focus on emotional awareness, naming what is really happening. Emotional regulation, responding without causing damage. Communication that builds safety rather than control. Repair, learning how to return to each other after rupture. My goal is not to help people win arguments. It is to help them build relationships that feel emotionally safe to live in. Can you explain what you mean by helping couples move from “enduring” marriage to truly enjoying it? Many couples are not planning to divorce. They are simply enduring their marriages. They manage responsibilities, share bills, co-parent, and maintain appearances. Yet the warmth is gone. The home feels tense or emotionally distant. They function like teammates rather than companions. That, to me, is deeply sad because relationships are meant to be enjoyed. Enjoying marriage means feeling emotionally secure with each other, being able to talk without fear of escalation, experiencing affection that feels natural rather than forced, and knowing that even when conflict occurs, repair is possible. I help couples move from “we’re managing” to “we’re connected again.” That shift changes everything about the emotional climate of a home. What are the most common mistakes couples make that quietly erode intimacy and connection? The most damaging mistakes are often the quiet ones. Avoiding difficult conversations and hoping time will heal what honesty and skill should address. Shutting down emotionally, becoming “fine” instead of being truthful. Assuming your partner should instinctively know your needs. Allowing resentment to accumulate without repair. Replacing intimacy with productivity, building a life while neglecting the relationship within it. Taking each other for granted through over-familiarity. Most couples don’t lose intimacy overnight. They lose it through small, unresolved moments repeated over time. How do you help high-achieving individuals balance personal success with a thriving home life? High achievers often have strong external competence, but relational success requires a different kind of strength. Emotional presence, vulnerability, and intentional communication. I help high-achieving individuals build habits that protect their relationships. These include creating emotional transitions from work mode to home mode, understanding how stress spills into tone, impatience, and withdrawal, expressing needs without harshness or control, and establishing consistent rituals of connection rather than occasional grand gestures. A thriving home is not built on intention alone. It is built through emotional skill and repeatable relational habits. What transformation do your clients typically experience after working with you? Transformation usually begins with clarity, followed by reflection and self-awareness. From there, change becomes practical and visible. Communication feels calmer and more effective. Conflict is handled without emotional explosions. Emotional intimacy begins to return. Both partners feel safer and more secure. Clients often describe feeling lighter, more understood, and more hopeful about their relationships. How do emotional awareness and communication play a role in rebuilding trust and harmony? Emotional awareness helps people recognize what they are feeling before they react. That single skill changes arguments, because many conflicts are not about the issue being discussed, they are about the emotion underneath it. When couples learn to name emotions, regulate responses, and communicate without blame or assumption, trust begins to rebuild. Partners feel less attacked and more understood, and harmony gradually returns. Who do you feel your work is especially meant for, and why do they resonate with you? My work is especially meant for couples and individuals who want more than simply going through the motions of marriage. They are often high-functioning, responsible, values-driven, and committed, yet privately feel emotionally stuck, wondering why they are doing everything “right” and still feel disconnected. They resonate with me because I combine warmth with structure. I don’t shame people for struggling; I help them build emotional skills they were never taught. What does a successful and healthy relationship look like through your lens? A successful relationship is emotionally safe, mutually respectful, and resilient. It is not perfect, but it includes honesty without fear, conflict with repair, accountability without shame, affection that feels natural, and a shared commitment to growth. A healthy relationship feels like a place where you can exhale, not a place where you constantly brace yourself. For someone reading this who feels stuck or disconnected in their relationship, what would you invite them to do next? I would invite them to make one powerful shift: be curious, not critical. Ask yourself what pattern keeps repeating here. What emotion shows up beneath our conflict or silence. What do I need to learn to respond differently. Disconnection is not a life sentence. It is a signal. And with the right tools, emotional repair is possible. If this resonates with you, I invite you to follow my work by subscribing to my YouTube channel . You don’t have to keep enduring what can be healed, especially when support and skill are available.   Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Taiye Aluko

Written by Marissa Cherepanov, CEO/Visionary Marissa is widely recognized for her contributions to female leadership and women's empowerment. She is the CEO visionary of No Girl Left Behind, a leading organization fostering female empowerment. She is also a sought-after motivational speaker, career coach, and active advisor at Linfield University's Women in Leadership Program. There’s a reason empowerment has become a major cultural conversation, confidence is eroding earlier, women are carrying heavier loads, and too many people are expected to “figure it out” in isolation. No Girl Left Behind (NGLB) is stepping into that gap with a bold premise, empowerment should be practical, multi-generational, and built to last. NGLB is not positioning itself as another inspirational event brand. It’s building an ecosystem, designed to meet girls and women where they are, equip them with real tools, and keep support going long after the room empties. And now, as NGLB scales its footprint nationally, the organization is entering its next chapter with a landmark partnership and a highly anticipated community event. A movement built for girls starting at 9 and open to all women Most empowerment spaces serve one audience at a time, youth programs for girls or conferences for adult women. NGLB disrupts that model by being intentionally inclusive, welcoming girls starting at age 9 and all women (you don’t need to be a mom to attend). That early start matters. When confidence is shaped at a young age, leadership becomes a learned practice, not a late-stage rescue. NGLB creates the kind of environment where girls can build identity, self-worth, and voice early, while women gain space to grow, reset, and rise in their own season. The signature: NGLB’s dual-track model The most distinct feature of NGLB is its Dual-Track Model, a format that turns a single event into two targeted experiences running in separate spaces, one track designed for girls and one for women, with purposeful moments of connection throughout the day. This is not passive “sit and listen” programming. NGLB emphasizes learning that translates into life, interactive teaching, self-discovery, and tools attendees can take home and apply immediately. That approach creates something rare, a multi-generational impact in real time. Girls are learning confidence and leadership foundations while women are strengthening their mindset, resilience, and direction, within the same community, on the same day. Beyond event day: Support that doesn’t disappear Here’s where NGLB separates itself from the typical empowerment event cycle, it’s built around what happens after. The organization’s own message is clear, empowerment can’t be contained in a single day. NGLB continues the work through ongoing communication, online support, mentorship touchpoints, and resources designed to keep participants growing long after the lights go down. In a world where many events offer a high moment and then silence, NGLB is building continuity, turning empowerment into an ongoing experience rather than a one-time inspiration. Scaling the vision: U.S. expansion with community anchors NGLB’s growth strategy is rooted in reach and repetition, more cities, more programs, more lives changed. The organization has publicly outlined an expansion vision moving into 2026, an intentional build toward a nationwide network of empowered girls and women. That expansion is strengthened by community-aligned partnerships that provide both visibility and access, creating a platform where empowerment programming can scale without losing heart. Next up: May 2, 2026, at the Salvation Army Kroc Center A major highlight of NGLB’s next season is its partnership with The Salvation Army, which NGLB has described as a “landmark partnership” helping bring the mission to a broader community platform. That partnership launches into a major moment. NGLB’s next U.S. event is set for May 2, 2026, at the Kroc Center in Salem. Venue address: 1865 Bill Frey Dr NE, Salem, OR 97301. This event is positioned as a kickoff to the next chapter of impact, bringing together speakers, workshops, and a community of women and girls ready to grow, connect, and lead. Leadership with vision and execution NGLB is led by Marissa Cherepanov, Chief Executive Officer, who oversees the U.S. organization’s growth and momentum. Under her leadership, NGLB’s mission is being translated into action, expanding programming, deepening partnerships, and building a model where women and girls are not only inspired but also equipped and continually supported. Why this matters now NGLB is remaking empowerment by refusing to separate generations, refusing to stop at inspiration, and refusing to let support end at the door. It starts early, at age 9, it stays open, all women, it delivers intentionally, dual-track programming, and it continues long after the day ends, with ongoing mentorship and resources. And as the organization expands across the U.S., May 2, 2026, at the Salvation Army Kroc Center stands as the next proof point, not just another event date, but another step in building a nationwide movement where no girl and no woman is left behind. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Marissa Cherepanov Marissa Cherepanov, CEO/Visionary Marissa is a dedicated leader committed to empowering women. She shares her life story and unique insights on personal growth, dedicating her life to inspiring others and driving the female empowerment movement. Marissa serves on the Board of Advisors for Linfield University's Women in Leadership program and is the CEO of No Girl Left Behind.

Written by Kathleen Mitchell, NLP Master & Mindset Transformation Coach Kat Mitchell transforms how women over 40 think, feel, and show up in their lives. As a certified Master NLP Practitioner, hypnotherapist, and speaker, she guides women from self-doubt to self-trust, helping them break patterns of overgiving and overwhelm to reclaim their confidence, clarity, and courage---one powerful mindset shift at a time. Every February, the same pattern repeats itself, the gym membership gathers dust, the morning routine fades, and the carefully crafted vision board gets shoved in a drawer. We tell ourselves we lack discipline, willpower, or motivation. But what if the real problem started long before we set the goal? Most New Year's resolutions fail because they're built on a foundation of what we think we should want, not what we actually need. They're created from external pressure, comparison, and the exhausting belief that we need to fix ourselves before we're worthy of the life we want. For women over 40 who've spent decades meeting everyone else's expectations, these goals often become just another way to prove we're enough. The missing piece isn't another strategy. It's radical awareness. What radical awareness actually is Radical awareness isn't positive thinking or mindfulness meditation. It's the willingness to see what's been running your life without sugar-coating it or running from it. It's asking yourself the uncomfortable questions most people avoid because the answers might require change. It means looking directly at the patterns you've been repeating for years, the people-pleasing that leaves you exhausted, the boundaries you don't set because you fear disappointing others, the dreams you've shelved because someone once told you they weren't practical, and the version of yourself you've been performing because it feels safer than being seen. This is neuroscience, not philosophy. Your brain operates from patterns established through repetition and reinforcement. Many of those patterns were formed when you were young, navigating environments where adaptation meant survival. As a Master NLP Practitioner and Certified Hypnotherapist who spent years leading multi-million-dollar projects before transitioning to transformation coaching, I've seen how these unconscious programs dictate everything from career choices to relationship dynamics. But here's the powerful part, research from Stanford University on neuroplasticity confirms that the brain can reorganize itself throughout the lifespan through intentional practices and experiences. Your brain isn't fixed. The neural pathways running your current patterns can be rewired through deliberate attention and new choices. Psychologist Carol Dweck's groundbreaking work on growth mindset demonstrates that when people believe their abilities can develop through effort and learning, they activate different neural circuits than those who believe their traits are fixed. Her ongoing neuroscience research shows that a growth mindset leads to quantifiable changes in brain responses to challenges and setbacks. This matters because the stories you tell yourself aren't just thoughts floating in your head. Neuroscience research on self-talk shows that inner speech activates the same brain regions as speaking aloud, including Broca's area and the auditory cortex. When you repeatedly tell yourself limiting narratives, you're not just reinforcing a belief, you're strengthening specific neural pathways. And when you shift those narratives through radical awareness, you're literally rewiring your brain. Different types of self-talk activate distinct neural pathways. Instructional self-talk engages planning regions and the cerebellum, while motivational self-talk activates reward and emotional centers. Positive framing enhances left prefrontal cortical activity and reduces stress hormones like cortisol. This is why the work of becoming aware of your internal narratives isn't optional for transformation. It's the foundation. Radical awareness is the moment you stop being a passenger in your own life and start questioning which neural pathways you're strengthening with every thought, every decision, and every story you tell yourself about what's possible. Why women over 40 need this conversation Midlife brings a particular reckoning. You've likely spent decades building a life that looks successful from the outside while feeling increasingly disconnected on the inside. You've managed caregiving responsibilities, career demands, relationship expectations, and the constant low-grade hum of not being enough. Then something shifts, a health crisis, an empty nest, a relationship ending, or a sudden awareness that the life you've been living doesn't reflect your true self. The goals you set from this place of transition often fail because they're still rooted in old programming and decades of accumulated limiting beliefs about what's possible for women your age. You can't create a new life from an old identity. This is where most resolution-setting goes wrong. We try to add new behaviors without examining the beliefs driving the old ones. We commit to morning routines without asking why we're exhausted in the first place. We set ambitious career goals without acknowledging the relationship depletion beneath our burnout. We promise to prioritize self-care while still believing that putting ourselves first is selfish. The neuroscience helps explain why this approach fails. Your brain has been running the same patterns for decades, creating deeply grooved neural pathways. When you layer new goals on top of unexamined limiting beliefs, your brain defaults to the stronger, more established pathways—the ones that say, "People like me don't get to do that" or "It's too late for me." These aren't just discouraging thoughts. They're neural patterns your brain has been practicing and perfecting for years. Radical awareness asks different questions, not "What should I do?" but "What have I been tolerating?" Not "What goals should I set?" but "What am I ready to change?" Not "Who do I want to become?" but "Who have I been pretending to be?" And critically, "What neural pathways am I strengthening every time I repeat the same limiting story about my life?" The good news? Neuroplasticity research confirms that these patterns aren't permanent. The brain's capacity to reorganize continues throughout your life. But rewiring requires more than willpower. It requires awareness first, then intentional practice of new patterns. The three phases of reclaiming yourself Real transformation doesn't happen through willpower. It happens through clarity, then power, then action. This is the foundation of my Reclaiming You framework, a three-month journey designed specifically for women navigating major life transitions. The first phase is about seeing yourself clearly. This means radical awareness of what's been running your life, including the self-talk patterns and limiting beliefs you've internalized over decades. It involves energy reclamation to understand what's draining you versus what you've been told should drain you. It requires evaluating the relationships and environments shaping your choices and learning to lead yourself forward instead of waiting for permission or validation from others who may be unconsciously reinforcing your limitations. The second phase is stepping into your power. This is where self-trust replaces self-doubt, where you design your life deliberately instead of reactively, where you embody your inherent worth rather than constantly trying to earn it, and where you integrate who you're becoming instead of clinging to who you've been. This phase actively rewires neural pathways by consciously replacing limiting narratives with aligned ones—not through affirmations your nervous system rejects, but through experiential evidence that creates new neural connections. The third phase is living extraordinarily. Not extraordinary in the Instagram-highlight sense, but in the grounded, authentic sense of navigating change with resilience, taking bold action from your center, owning all of who you are, and stepping into unlimited possibility. By this phase, you've practiced new patterns enough that they become the brain's default pathways instead of the old limiting ones. But it all starts with clarity. Without it, every goal becomes another way to abandon yourself. The questions that change everything Radical awareness begins with questions that create breakthroughs instead of busy work. These aren't journaling prompts designed to make you feel better. They're designed to make you see clearly, especially the invisible narratives shaping your reality and the neural pathways you're unconsciously strengthening. What am I tolerating that I'm no longer willing to accept? This question reveals the boundaries you haven't set and the patterns you've normalized, the relationship dynamics you've accepted as unchangeable, the work environments that drain you, and the internal narratives that keep you small. When you write down what you're tolerating, you often discover you're living according to someone else's script about what women your age should accept. What stories am I telling myself about what's possible for me? Your brain believes what you repeatedly tell it because repetition creates and strengthens neural pathways. If you've been telling yourself that it's too late, that you're too old, that you've missed your chance, that ship has sailed, you've been practicing those neural pathways daily. Research on self-talk shows that these repeated narratives don't just discourage you mentally, they activate stress responses and create physiological patterns that reinforce the limitation. Awareness of the story is the first step to choosing a different neural pathway. What would I choose if I trusted myself completely? This question bypasses the "should" and reveals the "want." It exposes the gap between what you know is right for you and what you're doing. That gap is where your power is hiding. It's also where you'll find all the external voices that have convinced you not to trust your own knowing. Who am I when I'm not performing for anyone? This is the question that unravels decades of conditioning. The version of you that emerges when you're not managing perceptions, meeting expectations, or proving your worth is the version that knows what you need. She's been waiting underneath all those practiced neural patterns of who you should be. Where did I learn that this limitation was true? This is the radical awareness question that disrupts old neural pathways. When you trace a limiting belief back to its source, you often discover it came from someone else's fear, bias, or projection, a teacher who said you weren't creative, a parent who insisted that practical careers were the only safe choice, or a culture that decided women over 40 become invisible. These weren't truths. They were suggestions you accepted and then reinforced through repetition until they became neural grooves. And you can choose to stop strengthening them. These questions aren't comfortable. They're not meant to be. Radical awareness disrupts the familiar patterns your brain has been running on autopilot. That disruption is where transformation becomes possible because it's where new neural pathways can begin to form. From awareness to action Clarity without action is just rumination. But action without clarity is just exhaustion in a different form. The women I work with often come to me burned out from years of action that wasn't aligned with who they are or what they actually need. The shift happens when awareness informs choice, and choice builds momentum. When you see clearly what's been running your life, including the neural pathways created by decades of limiting self-talk, you can decide whether to keep strengthening them or create new ones. When you understand that your exhaustion might be less about how much you're doing and more about doing things that violate your core values or authentic desires, you can reclaim your energy differently. When you recognize that the story about being too old or too late is a neural pathway you've been practicing rather than a truth you discovered, you can deliberately practice a different one. Not through forced positive thinking that your nervous system rejects, but through small experiments that generate new evidence. This is how you create new neural pathways with experiential data your brain can't argue with. When you lead yourself forward instead of waiting for external validation, you stop abandoning your goals halfway through because they were never really yours to begin with. This is the work that makes resolutions obsolete. You're not setting goals to fix yourself. You're aligning your life with who you're becoming and actively choosing which neural pathways to strengthen through the stories you tell yourself, the actions you take, and the patterns you practice. The invitation If you're tired of setting goals you abandon, exhausted from trying to keep up with a life that doesn't fit, or ready to stop performing and start choosing, the work begins with one question, "What do I want?" Not what you should want. Not what would make others happy. Not what looks impressive. What do you actually want? That question is the doorway to radical awareness. And radical awareness is the foundation of reclaiming you. Ready to go deeper? Take the exhaustion assessment to discover whether your burnout stems from relationship depletion, energy crisis, or identity loss patterns. Or explore the 10 radical awareness questions for women over 40 , designed to help you see what's been running your life and begin to sense what you actually want. The clarity conversation starts now. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kathleen Mitchell Kathleen Mitchell, NLP Master & Mindset Transformation Coach Kat Mitchell's decade as a family caregiver, navigating her mother's Alzheimer's and helping her brother relearn language after multiple strokes, ignited her fascination with the brain's capacity to transform. Watching her brother rebuild neural pathways sparked her journey into NLP mastery and hypnotherapy, where she discovered that the same neuroplasticity principles could help women rewrite limiting beliefs at any age. Now a board-certified Master NLP Pratitioner, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Kat combines hard-won wisdom from the caregiving trenches with powerful mindset techniques to help women reclaim their lives after years of putting everyone else first.

Written by Param Singh Sahni, Humanistic Therapist & Coach Param Singh Sahni is a BACP-registered Humanistic Therapist, Trustee at the Metanoia Institute, and founder of The Work. He works privately, supporting people with their mental health needs and specializes in emotional resilience, grief, identity, and trauma-informed care rooted in compassion and social justice. I am writing this from a place of urgency, not abstraction. In the space of a single month, three men, each of whom I had a personal or professional connection to, have died by suicide. One left a note. One overdosed. One was found in the woods. There is no safe distance from this. No academic framing that fully protects against the impact of such losses. When men die in this way, something fractures not only within families and communities, but within masculinity itself. These deaths force us to confront what men are being asked to carry, silently and alone, in a world that offers few places for that weight to be set down.   This is not a metaphorical crisis. It is an emergency.   Masculinity is not failing, men are being failed Much of the current discourse frames masculinity as inherently toxic, outdated, or dangerous. While critical examination of power, entitlement, and harm is essential, this narrative often overlooks a quieter truth: many men are not clinging to dominance, they are drowning.   This is particularly true for men from the global majority: Black and Brown men, men of colour, ethnic men, and those of us who are consistently “othered.”   For these men, masculinity is not merely a social identity, it is a survival strategy forged under pressure. From a young age, many are instructed explicitly or implicitly to man up, to endure, to suppress vulnerability in order to remain safe, employable, or socially acceptable.   At the same time, they live with a constant threat: being profiled by police, scrutinised in public spaces, or treated as suspicious simply for existing. Many are told to “go home” while standing on the land of their birth, or that of their parents. For children of immigrants, masculinity is shaped not only by gender expectations but by inherited survival narratives, less about thriving, more about enduring.   The double bind of the “othered” man For many men of colour, masculinity exists within a relentless double bind.   If we remain silent, we are seen as emotionally unavailable or disengaged. If we speak up, we risk being perceived as aggressive, unstable, or threatening. If we respond to harassment, we are often the ones arrested. If we don’t respond, we are told we should have stood up for ourselves.   Brown men are stereotyped as terrorists, black men as criminals. Both are inherently suspect. This is not paranoia, it is pattern recognition.   The psychological cost of living within this bind is immense. Hypervigilance becomes normal. Anger is swallowed or redirected. Fear disguises itself as numbness. Grief has nowhere to go. Over time, this pressure does not dissipate, it accumulates.   And when there is no space for that accumulation to be processed safely, it often turns inward.   Suicide is not a lack of strength, it is the end of endurance The men I am holding in mind were not weak. They were enduring.   Enduring loneliness. Enduring shame. Enduring cultural dislocation. Enduring expectations they could neither meet nor reject.   One left a note. One numbed himself until his body could no longer cope. One disappeared into the woods. Different circumstances, the same despair.   Suicide in men is frequently misunderstood as impulsive or selfish. In reality, it is often the final outcome of prolonged endurance when the internal resources men are taught to rely on (self-control, silence, stoicism) finally collapse under sustained pressure.   This is what happens when masculinity is defined as containment without release.   Emotional regulation is a social justice issue Conversations about men’s mental health, particularly for men of colour, must move beyond wellness rhetoric and into structural reality. Emotional regulation is not a “soft skill,” it is a life-saving capacity.   Many men were never taught how to: Recognise emotional states before they overwhelm Locate feelings within the body Regulate distress without shutting down or exploding Ask for help without fear of humiliation or threat   Instead, they learned to endure until something broke.   For men already living under racialised stress, this absence of emotional education is not benign, it is dangerous.   Community is not optional Men do not heal in isolation. One of the most damaging myths of masculinity is that growth must be solitary. For men who already experience social marginalisation, seeking help can feel like further exposure or risk.   Yet when men gather without hierarchy, bravado, or performance, something essential returns. Shame softens. Language emerges. The nervous system settles. There is relief in being seen without needing to prove.   Community is not a luxury. It is an antidote. A closing reflection I am writing this because three men are gone. Because I do not want to carry another name in my body. Because silence is no longer an option.   Masculinity does not need to be erased. It needs to be expanded, contextualised, and humanised—especially for those who live at the intersections of race, migration, and historical trauma.   If you are a man reading this and recognise the weight described here, know this: you are not broken. You are responding to an impossible load. And you do not have to carry it alone.   This conversation is not for later. It is happening now. Lives depend on it. Follow me on Instagram and visit my website for more info! Read more from Param Singh Sahni Param Singh Sahni, Humanistic Therapist & Coach Param Singh Sahni is a BACP-registered Humanistic Therapist and Trustee at the Metanoia Institute. He is the founder of The Work, a platform dedicated to supporting the mental health of men of colour through vulnerability, connection, and culturally sensitive care. With nearly a decade of experience, he has supported people through life’s challenges related to addiction, behavioural patterns, and relational difficulties. He also works privately with individuals navigating grief, identity, emotional regulation, and life transitions. His approach is rooted in compassion, justice, and creating spaces where people feel seen, heard, and supported.

Written by Sandro Endler, Business Finance Specialist Sandro Endler is an experienced finance professional with over 30 years of expertise in business finance and strategy. He is the author of FACE IT! Mastering Business Finance and holds advanced degrees in finance and economics from renowned universities. For many business owners, the word budget sounds restrictive, almost like putting the business in a financial straitjacket. In reality, an annual budget is the opposite. It’s one of the most powerful tools you can use to gain clarity, control, and confidence in your decisions. And if the year has already started and you don’t have one yet? Don’t worry. It’s not too late. A budget is a decision-making tool, not just a spreadsheet An annual budget is not about predicting the future with perfect accuracy. It’s about forcing intentional decisions. When you build a budget, you are answering critical questions: How much revenue do we realistically expect to generate? What costs are essential, and which ones can be optimized? How much cash do we need to operate safely each month? Where should we invest to support growth? Without a budget, these decisions still get made, but usually in a reactive, unstructured way. Visibility creates control One of the biggest risks in business is operating “blind.” You may be profitable on paper and still struggle with cash. Or you may feel busy and growing while margins quietly erode. An annual budget gives you: Monthly visibility into revenues, expenses, and cash flow Early warning signals when costs drift, or sales fall short A baseline to compare actual performance against expectations This visibility allows you to act early, when adjustments are easier and far less painful. Budgeting is especially critical in uncertain times Economic uncertainty, interest rate changes, labor costs, and market volatility make planning more important, not less. A budget helps you: Stress-test scenarios (best case, base case, worst case) Prepare for slow months before they happen Decide in advance how you will respond if conditions change Businesses that survive and grow during uncertain periods are rarely the ones improvising month to month. No budget yet? Start now, midyear is fine Many business owners think, “The year already started, so I’ll wait until next year.” That’s a costly mistake. You can and should build a budget at any point in the year: Use actual results from past months Project the remaining months forward Turn it into a rolling budget you update regularly A budget created today is far more valuable than a perfect budget that never gets done. A budget aligns strategy with reality Growth plans, hiring decisions, marketing initiatives, and investments all require financial support. A budget forces alignment between what you want to do and what the business can actually afford. It answers the uncomfortable but necessary question: Does our strategy make financial sense? The bottom line An annual budget is not about limitation, it’s about leadership. It helps you move from reacting to events to intentionally guiding your business forward. Whether you are a growing company or an established one, budgeting is a foundational discipline that separates managed businesses from merely busy ones. If you haven’t created your annual budget yet, now is the right time. Not next year. Not next quarter. "Now." Because clarity today always beats uncertainty tomorrow. Face it! Follow me on  LinkedIn ,  and visit my website for more info! Read more from Sandro Endler Sandro Endler, Business Finance Specialist Sandro Endler is an experienced finance professional with more than three decades of experience in business finance and strategy. As the author of FACE IT! Mastering Business Finance, he provides valuable insights for business owners seeking to improve their financial management. With advanced degrees in finance and economics, Sandro combines academic expertise with real-world experience to help businesses achieve growth and efficiency.

Written by Lina Jurgile, Mindset & Transformation Coach Lina is a Mindset and Transformational Coach, Reiki Master, and certified NLP, Hypnosis, and Time Line Therapy® practitioner. She helps women heal emotional blocks, reprogram the subconscious mind, and align their energy to create a confident, joyful, and purposeful life filled with balance and inner peace. Have you ever felt guilty for resting? Do you say yes when you want to say no, just to keep the peace? Do you feel responsible for other people’s emotions, moods, and happiness? And even though you give so much, do you still quietly feel like you’re never enough? If you nodded even once, there’s a strong chance you grew up being the “Good Girl.” Not the rebellious one. Not the loud one. The strong, helpful, easy one. The one who learned early that love came from being convenient. And while this pattern once kept you emotionally safe, science now shows it can quietly drain self-worth, energy, confidence, and even financial growth in adulthood. The good news? Self-worth is not broken, it is learned. And what is learned can be rebuilt. Let’s walk through how. The science behind the “Good Girl” pattern When we are children, our brains and nervous systems are wired for one main goal, safety and connection. Research in developmental psychology and neuroscience shows that children quickly learn which behaviors keep caregivers calm, present, and emotionally available. When environments feel unpredictable, emotionally intense, or demanding, the nervous system adapts. Many girls unconsciously learn: Being easy keeps peace Being helpful earns approval Being quiet avoids rejection This creates what scientists call an adaptive stress response, a survival strategy stored in the nervous system. The body learns, “Belonging equals safety.” Over time, this becomes identity. In adulthood, this often appears as: People-pleasing Over-responsibility Chronic guilt Emotional exhaustion Low self-worth despite high effort Not because something is wrong with you, but because your body learned to survive. 1. Reframe the Good Girl as adaptation, not failure The first stage of healing self-worth is removing shame. You were not “too sensitive.” You were not “born insecure.” You adapted brilliantly to your environment. Your nervous system chose the behaviors that felt safest. But survival strategies are not meant to run adult lives. What once protected you now quietly drains you. Reflection exercise: Understanding your conditioning Write freely: When I was a child, I was praised for being __________ Conflict in my home felt __________ I learned that love came when I __________ Finish the sentence, “To be accepted, I learned I must __________.” This brings subconscious patterns into conscious choice. 2. Recognize self-abandonment in daily life Neuroscience shows that the brain strengthens whatever behaviors are repeated. Each time you override your own needs to keep peace, your nervous system reinforces, “My needs are not as important.” Over time, this becomes identity. Common signs include: Saying yes when you mean no Over-explaining your decisions Feeling guilty for resting Taking responsibility for others’ feelings Struggling to ask for more, emotionally or financially Self-worth cannot grow where self-abandonment is practiced daily. Reflection exercise: The awareness reset For one day, gently notice: When did I silence myself? When did I choose comfort for others over truth for me? When did I ignore my body’s signals of tiredness or discomfort? Awareness begins rewiring. 3. Heal where self-worth actually lives, the nervous system Talking alone often isn’t enough. Modern trauma and somatic research show that emotional experiences are stored in the body, not just the mind. Suppressed feelings activate chronic stress responses. Good Girls commonly suppress: Anger (to stay lovable) Sadness (to stay strong) Desire (to avoid being “too much”) These emotions remain as tension in the chest, belly, jaw, shoulders, and nervous system. This creates fatigue, anxiety, numbness, and low confidence. Practical somatic reset (2 minutes) Sit with your feet on the floor. One hand on your chest, one on your belly. Breathe slowly, longer exhales activate calming nerves. Ask quietly, “What am I feeling right now?” Let sensations exist without fixing. This teaches your body safety, the foundation of self-worth. 4. Rebuild self-worth through micro self-choosing The brain rewires through repetition. Not big declarations, small daily actions. Try one per day: Rest without apologizing Say no kindly but clearly Express a real feeling Ask for support Receive without explaining At first, discomfort is normal. Your nervous system is learning a new pattern, “Choosing myself is safe.” This is how identity shifts. Reflection exercise: Self-worth journal Each evening, write, "Today I honored myself when I __________." Confidence grows quietly through consistency. 5. Reprogram the core worth belief Most Good Girls unconsciously live by, “I am worthy when I am useful.” Neuroscience shows the brain forms beliefs through repetition and emotional experience. So we replace it slowly with the truth, “I am worthy because I exist.” Daily rewiring practice Repeat slowly, “I don’t need to earn love. I am already enough.” Let your body feel it, not just your mind. This is how new neural pathways form. The real transformation that follows When women heal the Good Girl survival pattern: Boundaries feel natural Emotional exhaustion fades Confidence becomes calm Relationships become healthier Receiving love and money feels safe Self-worth isn’t ego. It’s nervous system security. Final thought The Good Girl helped you survive. But she is not meant to lead your life forever. When you teach your body safety, choice, and self-respect, self-worth rises naturally. Not forced. Not faked. Rooted. And that grounded woman changes everything. Rebuilding self-worth is not about forcing confidence, it’s about teaching your body safety, clarity, and self-respect. If you’re ready to move out of survival mode and into a grounded, confident life, Lina Jurgile offers transformational coaching and healing sessions both online and in Dubai. Connect with Lina on Instagram to explore working together. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Lina Jurgile Lina Jurgile, Mindset & Transformation Coach Lina is a Mindset and Transformational Coach, Reiki Master, and certified practitioner of NLP, Hypnosis, and Time Line Therapy®. After transforming her own life through deep mindset and energy work, she now helps women release emotional blocks, reprogram limiting beliefs, and reconnect with their true selves. Combining neuroscience-based tools with Reiki energy healing, Lina guides her clients to create inner freedom, confidence, and a life aligned with purpose and joy. Her mission is to help women remember their power and consciously design the life they deserve.

Written by Dominic L. Johnson-Bey, King and Queen Fitness Virtual Dominic Johnson-Bey, widely known as Coach Bey, is a visionary fitness entrepreneur, author, and motivator dedicated to helping others conquer fear and doubt. As the founder of King and Queen Fitness Virtual, a cutting-edge online gym offering free trials and personalized training, he has transformed the way people approach health and wellness. In a world where physical appearance often overshadows overall well-being, true health requires a balanced approach that nurtures the body, mind, and spirit. This article delves into the importance of mental and spiritual fitness, offering practical tips and insights to help you embark on a more holistic fitness journey for long-term health and happiness. The illusion of physical-only fitness In today’s fitness-driven culture, the spotlight often shines brightest on the body. Sculpted abs, toned arms, and lean physiques dominate social media feeds, shaping the modern definition of “health.” Yet, beneath the surface of physical perfection, many silently battle anxiety, burnout, and emotional fatigue. The truth is simple but often ignored, a strong body means little without a strong mind and spirit to sustain it. The obsession with appearance can lead to unhealthy cycles of overtraining, restrictive dieting, and comparison-driven self-criticism. These patterns may produce short-term results but often erode long-term well-being. Tip: Start your fitness journey by setting feeling-based goals rather than appearance-based ones. For example, aim to “feel more energized” or “sleep better” instead of “lose 10 pounds.” This shift in mindset fosters a healthier relationship with your body and encourages sustainable habits. The missing link: Mental and spiritual fitness Health is not a one-dimensional pursuit. It’s a harmony between the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of life. When one is neglected, imbalance follows. Studies from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) show that chronic stress and poor mental health can directly impact physical performance, recovery, and even immune function. Similarly, research published by the American Psychological Association (APA) highlights that mindfulness and emotional regulation improve endurance, focus, and motivation, key components of any fitness journey. The body is the vessel, but the mind is the driver. Without mental clarity and emotional balance, even the most disciplined workout routine can feel empty. Spiritual wellness, whether rooted in faith, purpose, or self-awareness, adds the final layer, grounding individuals in meaning and resilience. Practical ways to strengthen mental and spiritual fitness Practice daily mindfulness: Spend 5-10 minutes each morning focusing on your breath or repeating an affirmation. Journal your progress: Reflect not only on physical milestones but also on emotional and mental growth. Connect with purpose: Ask yourself why you want to be healthy. Is it to live longer, feel confident, or serve others better? Unplug regularly: Take breaks from social media to reduce comparison and reconnect with your inner self. The King and Queen Fitness Virtual philosophy At King and Queen Fitness Virtual, the mission extends far beyond physical transformation. Under the leadership of Coach Bey, a recognized Executive Contributor with Brainz Magazine and a handpicked Mr. Health and Fitness contestant, the team emphasizes holistic wellness. Their approach integrates physical training with mindset development and emotional empowerment, helping clients build not just muscle, but mental fortitude and spiritual alignment. Coach Bey’s philosophy is simple yet profound, "Through personalized coaching, guided virtual sessions, and a supportive community, King and Queen Fitness Virtual helps individuals reclaim balance inside and out." Example: One client, after months of focusing solely on weight loss, discovered through Coach Bey’s program that her real challenge was emotional stress. By incorporating meditation and gratitude journaling, she not only lost weight but also gained confidence and peace of mind. The science of wholeness Modern research continues to validate what ancient wisdom has long taught, the mind, body, and spirit are inseparable. Practices such as meditation, gratitude journaling, and mindful movement have been shown to reduce cortisol levels, improve sleep, and enhance overall well-being. According to a study from Harvard Health Publishing, individuals who combine physical exercise with mindfulness practices experience greater long-term health outcomes than those who focus solely on physical training. Practical applications Mindful movement: During your next workout, focus on your breathing and the sensations in your muscles. This enhances body awareness and reduces injury risk. Gratitude practice: End each day by listing three things you’re grateful for. Gratitude has been linked to improved mood and motivation. Balanced nutrition: Nourish your body with whole foods that support both physical and mental health, think omega-3 rich fish, leafy greens, and antioxidant-packed fruits. This interconnected approach doesn’t just build strength, it builds sustainability. It transforms fitness from a temporary goal into a lifelong lifestyle. The call to rise higher True health is not measured by the mirror but by the mind’s peace and the spirit’s strength. The next evolution of fitness demands more than sweat, it demands self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and purpose. How to begin your holistic health journey Assess your balance: Rate your physical, mental, and spiritual health on a scale of 1-10. Identify which area needs more attention. Create a routine that honors all three: Combine strength training with meditation and reflective journaling. Find a community: Surround yourself with people who value growth over perfection. Celebrate progress, not perfection: Every step toward balance is a victory. Join Coach Bey and the King and Queen Fitness Virtual team in redefining what it means to be fit. Explore programs designed to elevate every dimension of health, mind, body, and spirit. Visit here to begin a free trial and experience the transformation that goes beyond the physical. Join the Power Blog to get powerful insights and nutrition facts! Additional insights: Building a lifestyle of wholeness 1. The power of rest and recovery Rest is not laziness, it’s a strategy. Sleep and recovery days allow the body to repair and the mind to reset. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep and schedule at least one active recovery day per week. 2. Emotional fitness matters Emotional intelligence, understanding and managing your emotions, can dramatically improve your health journey. When you can identify stress triggers and respond calmly, you prevent emotional eating, burnout, and negative self-talk. 3. Spiritual anchoring Whether through prayer, meditation, or time in nature, spiritual practices help you stay grounded. They remind you that health is not just about doing more but about being more present. 4. The role of community support Accountability and encouragement are powerful motivators. Virtual fitness communities, like King and Queen Fitness Virtual, provide a safe space to share challenges, celebrate wins, and stay inspired. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dominic L. Johnson-Bey Dominic L. Johnson-Bey, King and Queen Fitness Virtual Coach Bey's journey began long before he became a respected coach, entrepreneur, and author. Growing up, he faced challenges that tested his resilience and shaped his character. His childhood was marked by moments of struggle and self-discovery, but also by a deep curiosity about strength, both physical and mental. Those early experiences taught him the value of perseverance, discipline, and faith, lessons that would later become the foundation of his life's work. As a young man, Dominic found solace and purpose in fitness. What started as a personal outlet soon evolved into a calling to help others transform their lives. That passion led him to create King and Queen Fitness Virtual, a groundbreaking platform that empowers people everywhere. Reference material: National Institutes of Health (NIH) : The Impact of Mental Health on Physical Performance. American Psychological Association (APA) : Mindfulness and Motivation in Fitness. Harvard Health Publishing : The Mind-Body Connection in Exercise. Coach Bey and the King and Queen Fitness Virtual staff invite every reader to look deeper, train smarter, and live fuller because true health is not just about how the body looks, but how the soul feels.

Written by Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor, Speaker, Podcast Host, Education Consultant Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor is a nationally recognized speaker, educator, and children’s literature specialist. Founder of Dr. Diane’s Adventures in Learning and host of the Adventures in Learning podcast, she helps organizations use play-based learning to foster collaboration, creativity, and empathetic problem-solving. Reading aloud is one of the most powerful learning tools we have, and one of the most underleveraged. When picture books are shared intentionally, they become more than stories, they become invitations to empathy, inquiry, creativity, and connection. In a world where educators and families are stretched thin, the question isn’t whether read-alouds matter. It’s how we can make them sustainable, meaningful, and joyful, every single day. That question is what inspired Dr Diane’s Daily Picture Book Read-Aloud Calendar, a year-long approach to literacy that weaves together empathy, STEAM thinking, and learning through play. What is a daily read-aloud, and why does it matter? A daily read-aloud is the simple practice of sharing a story consistently, without turning it into a worksheet or performance task. Research has long shown that read-alouds support vocabulary development, comprehension, background knowledge, and oral language, but their impact goes far beyond academic outcomes. Daily read-alouds help children: Build emotional literacy Develop listening and discussion skills Make sense of complex ideas through story Associate reading with connection and pleasure When read-alouds are treated as a ritual rather than a requirement, they activate curiosity and belonging, two prerequisites for deep learning. Windows, mirrors, and sliding glass doors: Why book choice matters The concept of books as windows, mirrors, and sliding glass doors , introduced by scholar Dr Rudine Sims Bishop , offers a powerful framework for intentional book selection. Mirrors help children see themselves reflected and valued and offer them possibilities Windows offer valuable insights into lives, experiences, and cultures that are different from their own Sliding glass doors invite readers to step into new perspectives, imagine possibilities, and take transformative action A thoughtfully curated read-aloud calendar ensures children regularly encounter all three, without placing the burden of constant searching on educators or families. This approach not only supports identity development, but also strengthens empathy, cultural understanding, and critical thinking, skills essential for both academic success and civic life. Empathy is not taught, it’s practiced through story Empathy develops through repeated experiences of perspective-taking, reflection, and thoughtful conversation. Multicultural picture books create safe entry points into big ideas like fairness, loss, courage, responsibility, and hope. When a read-aloud includes a short reflection prompt, children are invited to: Notice emotions and motivations Consider how actions affect others Connect story moments to their own lives These small, daily moments add up. Over time, children learn that reading is not just about decoding words. It’s about understanding people. STEAM thinking begins with curiosity and play, not content coverage STEAM learning thrives when children are invited to engage, ask questions, observe patterns, and explore ideas through play. Multicultural picture books naturally support this process. A single story can spark: Scientific observation (weather, growth, systems) Engineering challenges (design, problem-solving) Artistic expression (illustration styles, storytelling) Mathematical thinking (patterns, sequencing, comparison) When read-alouds include simple, playful STEAM invitations, rather than scripted activities, children engage more deeply and authentically. The goal is wonder and discovery sparked by play and a good book. We don’t need lots of materials to craft these invitations, just the ability to pause, reflect, and observe where our children’s curiosity lies. When we pair high-quality literacy experiences and opportunities for STEAM exploration, we create invitations for engaged learning. Learning through play: The bridge between literacy and engagement Too often, we view play as “other” – something that is only done as an extra or in the earliest days of childhood. Once we welcome children into formal education, the inclination is to push play aside in favor of the many demands of scripted curriculum. Play is not the opposite of academic excellence. Play is the pathway to real, sustainable learning, collaboration, critical thinking, creativity, and problem solving. Learning through play allows children to test ideas, make meaning, and take intellectual risks. When read-alouds are paired with opportunities to play and explore, children: Retell stories through dramatic play Build, create, and problem solve inspired by characters or settings Ask “what if?” and “why?” questions Develop executive function and collaboration skills These experiences activate the joy of learning, which is essential for sustaining attention and motivation over time. Activating a love of reading through consistency and care Children learn to love reading when reading feels: Predictable but not repetitive Thoughtful but not heavy Connected to real conversation Free from constant evaluation A daily read-aloud calendar supports this by removing decision fatigue and creating space for presence and connection. When adults know what they’re reading, they can focus on how they’re connecting. Over time, reading becomes associated with warmth, curiosity, and shared discovery, a foundation that lasts far beyond early childhood. Why a calendar model works The calendar format may seem simple, but it’s powerful. By embedding literacy directly into daily routines, a read-aloud calendar: Reduces planning overload Encourages consistency Supports long-term habits Makes high-quality book access more equitable When literacy lives where we already look, our calendars, it becomes part of the rhythm of everyday life. A call to action: Make read-alouds a daily act of care Daily read-alouds are not an “extra.” They are an investment in empathy, creativity, and lifelong learning through play. If you are an educator, family member, librarian, or community leader, consider how a consistent, intentional read-aloud practice might transform not just literacy outcomes, but relationships, curiosity, and joy. To learn more about Dr Diane’s 2026 Daily Picture Book Read-Aloud Calendar  and explore how it supports empathy, STEAM thinking. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram ,  LinkedIn , and my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor, Speaker, Podcast Host, Education Consultant Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor is a nationally recognized speaker, educator, and podcast host who believes better learning, and better leadership, start with play. With more than 30 years of experience spanning classrooms, museums, and universities, she helps organizations create environments where curiosity sparks collaboration, creativity fuels critical thinking, and empathy drives problem-solving. Her work blends children’s literature, play-based STEAM learning, and real-world leadership to show what’s possible when we commit to learning and leading through play.