Written by Daniele Forni, Executive Coach and Tech Founder Daniele Forni is an executive coach for non-standard and neurodivergent leaders, and the founder of The Human Spikes Labs. A former Director at HSBC with fifteen years in banking across Europe and Asia, he is a University of Cambridge alumnus and the author of books on leadership, neurodiversity, strategy, and meditation. “I’ve hit the glass ceiling.” I hear this from brilliant technical professionals almost every week, software engineers, risk managers, and investment bankers who are solving problems most of us can’t even describe, yet keep getting passed over for promotion. The reason? They’re told they’re “just not great communicators.” In this article, I’ll show you why that feedback is misleading and introduce a powerful framework that will change the way you influence the people around you. Why do technical professionals hit a glass ceiling? If I’d known what I know now, my early career would have looked very different. But as my receding hairline can attest, we usually learn the most expensive lessons exactly when we think we already have all the answers. When I pivoted into executive coaching and started my course at Cambridge, I expected to uncover the secret to human psychology. Instead, I found that the missing pieces of executive leadership had been sitting right in front of me the whole time. I just wasn’t looking at them. The pattern is remarkably consistent. Technical professionals dedicate years to mastering their craft, deliver exceptional results, and then hit an invisible wall. When they ask why, they get the same vague feedback: “You need to work on your communication.” But no one tells them what that actually means. Research backs this up. According to a study by Harvard University, the Carnegie Foundation, and the Stanford Research Center, 85% of job success comes from soft and people skills, while only 15% comes from technical knowledge. For engineers specifically, soft skills are the most sought-after qualities in over 80% of job postings. Yet, most technical education programs barely touch on them. Everyone can become a charismatic leader When my clients hear they need to be “better communicators,” they immediately picture a charismatic extrovert with a booming voice and a perfectly tailored suit (and a head full of hair!). They assume they lack some mystical, innate trait that makes people listen. I can tell you from experience: they’re wrong. Effective communication has almost nothing to do with having a radio-quality voice or a magnetic personality. Early in my career, I was genuinely baffled by a Managing Director who had a higher-pitched voice than mine but could move mountains with a single sentence. What was he doing that I wasn’t? I used to joke that human perception is roughly 40% how you say something, 40% how you structure it, 20% what you look like, and approximately 0% the actual content. It’s why some leaders can talk for twenty minutes, say absolutely nothing of substance, and still have the room nodding in agreement. They’ve mastered the architecture of the message, while us technical folks are still focusing on the content, ignoring the how. The good news is that these are learnable communication habits that any leader can develop. Structuring communication is not a new concept. The art of rhetoric has been taught since Roman times, Cicero was a master of it. So how did the modern technical professional lose this art? What makes soft skills so hard for technical professionals? The world has become hyper-technical, and we’ve paid a price for it. We spend decades mastering Python or financial modeling, but we treat “soft skills” as an optional elective. Ironically, these skills are infinitely harder to debug than any codebase. I spent years hyper-focused on technical perfection. I built risk management software and investment decks with airtight logic, assuming that if the content was sound, the buy-in would follow automatically. I treated humans like computers: input logic, receive approval. But when I tried to explain my successes or when I tried to ask for more resources, no one was hearing me. Humans are not compilers. They don’t execute commands exactly as written; they filter them through a messy web of ego, stress, and personal perspectives. Breaking the glass ceiling requires a mindset shift: communication isn’t a “soft” skill. It is a critical, complex system that requires its own architecture. As Harvard Business School explains, success increasingly hinges on the cooperation of people across your organization over whom you have no formal authority. Over the years, I have collected nearly a hundred structured frameworks to help technical minds navigate human communication. But there is one tool, in particular, that consistently produces a lightbulb moment for my clients. How can you influence people without direct authority? This framework comes from Allan R. Cohen and David L. Bradford’s Influence Without Authority, and it addresses a dilemma every technical leader faces: how do you get things done when you don’t have direct managerial power over the people you need help from? In the modern, matrixed workplace, you constantly need cooperation from people who don’t report to you. “Break the silos” they tell you…but how? Very simple…start trading! First, you need to identify what their favorite “currency” is, what they actually care about. Then, you can offer it in exchange for their cooperation. And when you do, you stop begging for favors and start making deals. There is not one better than the other; they all depend on you and the counterpart you want to trade with. Here is an outline: What are the five currencies of influence? 1. Inspiration-related currencies These appeal to a person’s desire to find meaning, purpose, and significance in their daily work. Vision: Framing a task as a crucial part of a project that has broader, strategic importance – turning the mundane into the meaningful. Excellence: Appealing to their desire to build something “best-in-class” or set a new standard. Ethical Correctness: Championing a good cause or doing what is fundamentally the right thing for the end user or the company. 2. Task-related currencies These focus on the practical. They appeal to the desire to get the job done more effectively. Resources: Lending them your budget, hardware, personnel, or best developer. Assistance: Rolling up your sleeves to help them clear a bottleneck or heavy workload. Information: Giving them the inside track on critical data, technical insights, or institutional knowledge they’ve been struggling to find. 3. Position-related currencies These center around enhancing a person’s standing, reputation, and trajectory within the organization. Recognition: Making sure the right people know they were the hero of the project. Visibility: Giving them the stage to present a solution to stakeholders or be seen as a leader on a high-profile initiative. Networking: Connecting them with the mentor, leader, or influential contact they’ve been trying to meet. 4. Relationship-related currencies These are based on the fundamental human need for connection, mutual support, and psychological safety. Understanding: Actually listening to why their department is struggling and acting as a safe sounding board. In diverse teams, this also means developing cultural intelligence to bridge different perspectives. Personal Support: Publicly backing them up when a meeting gets contentious or a decision goes sideways. Inclusion: Ensuring they feel like a valued part of the team and the strategic inner circle. 5. Personal-related currencies These fulfill an individual’s personal needs and reinforce their sense of autonomy and self-worth. Gratitude: A sincere, specific “thank you”, not a generic Slack emoji. Autonomy: Giving them the freedom to run the project their way without hovering. Ownership: Letting them feel that a piece of the project is entirely theirs to drive. How do you start using the five currencies? Shattering the glass ceiling requires you to stop viewing communication as a distraction from your “real work.” At a certain level of leadership, communication is the work. The next time you’re banging your head against a wall because a stakeholder “just doesn’t get it,” stop arguing the technical merits. Pause. Ask yourself: what currency do they trade in, and how can I offer it to them? This is just one of nearly a hundred structured frameworks I use with my clients to help technical leaders navigate the human side of their organizations. When you find the right key, you’ll realize the glass ceiling wasn’t a ceiling at all – it was just a locked door, and you finally have the combination. And, all of a sudden, you have become a highly successful currency trader. Ready to break through your glass ceiling? If you’re a technical professional who is tired of hearing “you need to communicate better” without being told how, I’d love to help. I work with software engineers, risk managers, and investment bankers to build the influence and communication skills that turn technical experts into executive leaders. Book a free application call with me and let’s talk about what’s standing between you and your next promotion. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Daniele Forni Daniele Forni, Executive Coach and Tech Founder Daniele Forni, known as "The Data Shaman," is not your average executive coach. He helps senior professionals leverage their unconventional traits into tangible ROI using rigorous science, AI tools, and strategic wit. As the founder of the SquirrelCoach platform, he champions the "Spiky Profile" concept: exceptional leaders are defined by their peaks. An alumnus of the University of Cambridge and a 6x author on leadership, neurodiversity, and meditation, Daniele previously spent 15 years driving technology and risk management as an Investment Banking Director across Europe and Asia.

The artist behind Outcast Vagabond is a self-made global traveler and heritage storyteller who has built a life around independence, cultural exploration, and unapologetic individuality. With over 15 years spent living as a cultural minority across places like Miami (USA), China, Philippines, Mexico and Argentina, he uses travel as both a lens and a platform to explore identity, challenge perspectives, and inspire others to break free from societal expectations and create a life on their own terms. Jeffrey A. Epps, MBA Digital Nomad, Marketer, Investor, Educator Why is your travel brand called “Outcast Vagabond?” It basically sums up what I am in two words, I’ve always been an outsider kind of person who loves to travel. So, it describes me in a very brief way. It’s also unique and it makes people curious to want to learn more. It works for me. I like it and other people like it. What kind of travel do you focus on? My niche is heritage travel. I’m a heritage traveler and a culturalist who likes to create travel media content that focuses on peoples’ ancestry, cultural traditions and ethnic identities. This all fascinates me. I believe that heritage is sacred and that it should be protected and preserved at all costs, and that forcing a person or people to disown their own heritage is sacrilegious. When I travel and visit places of historical significance, I like to immerse myself into local cultures in an effort to understand why places are the way they are, why people are the way they are and how these places can be better understood by the world. I feel the best way to understand the present in any place is to first understand its past. One benefit from learning history is so that we don’t make the same mistakes over again.  I like to discuss topics such as race, race-relations, gender issues, American politics, Americanophobia, geopolitics, Sino-American relations, Argentine-American relations, global affairs, social issues, controversies, conflict resolution, human rights issues and informational integrity. I have spent the last 15+ years as a White, English-speaking minority in places such as Miami (USA), Mexico, Philippines, China and Argentina, which have given me a very unique perspective on race, culture and my own identity as an American world-traveling digital nomad and expat. I believe that if people embrace each other’s differences, rather than ignore or despise them, we can understand and appreciate each other’s differences in a much more honest and respectful way.    What do you do, exactly? And what are your long-term goals? These days I’m a full-time freelancer. I don’t work for anyone anymore, but rather I work with other people. I offer free travel consulting to people who follow me, and I provide paid marketing services for travel-related brands. For example, if I want to partner with a hotel I will visit with the hotel manager, or marketing manager, and I will try to work out a business relationship with them. I will offer my marketing services, show them my portfolio with what I’ve done for other properties and in exchange I ask for perks; monetary compensation, room discounts or upgrades, discounts on food and beverages, free access to exclusive lounges, etc. This helps me both earn and save on accommodations when I travel. This is just one example of what I do to pitch my marketing services. I deal with a lot of people this way, sometimes I even collaborate with other travelers while I do it. I have a media kit on my website (“work with me”) that highlights the standard marketing services that I offer, but most of the time I’m putting together customized packages for people. I’m also an avid investor, I have been for years and I earn investment income. Teaching in China for almost 10 years enabled me to save and invest a lot of money, but it wasn’t what I earned so much, it was more so what I was able to save. I also still teach part-time online, sometimes. Not long ago I was able to monetize my YouTube channel and Facebook Pages, so now I’m earning income with these social media platforms. I also sell shirts and hats from time to time. As far as long-term goals I’ll start with what’s going on right now. I finished my full-time teaching contract last August (2025) in Wuhan, China, then spent several months traveling around the world, and then I moved to Buenos Aires, Argentina in mid-January of this year to begin my 3-year path toward Argentine-American dual citizenship. I have an excellent immigration lawyer who is helping me out. Once I acquire Argentine citizenship then I can travel to places that aren’t so easy for Americans; like Russia, North Korea, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Venezuela, Cuba, etc. Having dual citizenship also comes with many other perks as well. It gives you bragging rights and notoriety in the travel industry and respect among other travelers and people you want to do business with. Not to mention, it makes investing and doing business in other countries much easier. I’ve been to 126 countries and I plan on traveling to all of them, or die trying. Argentina is the 5 th  country that I have resided in. After I travel to every country in the world then I’ll focus on traveling to every territory in the world. Then I will focus on exploring the best ocean dives sites worldwide and even entertain the concept of space travel, now that it’s more possible for ordinary people. I want to buy some land in Patagonia, eventually, and build a small ranch, mini-winery, bed and breakfast and operate local tours. This will take a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of planning and a lot of work. But if I keep up with what I’m doing at the pace I’m doing it, it can very well become a reality. I want to pen several articles, books and create a million travel media projects. I want to become fluent in Mandarin and Spanish, and I’m studying both languages every day now. I want to manage and host events and social get-togethers, to bring like-minded digital nomads and travelers together. I want to contribute to creating and maintaining world peace and cooperation, and this can be done with the help of travel media that counters mass media bias. I want to help make travel more affordable and more accessible for more people. I just want to give back to the world in my own ways. I’ve always made altruism a focal point in my life. I now have more time to volunteer at homeless shelters and orphanages here in Buenos Aires. And sometimes I’ll visit kindergartens here and teach free English classes to early-childhood students, similar to what I did in China. I’m in the process of creating a YouTube channel called “Teacher Jeff,” where I can create free early-childhood English education videos and reach and teach children all over the world. With this channel I can earn money with YouTube ads and subscriptions for exclusive content. Friends of mine will always be able to access all of this content for free. These are my goals and this is my life. I love it. I want to inspire and teach others to have similar goals and to live a similar life.   What mindset shifts help individuals break free from societal expectations and create a life that reflects their true values and purpose? Individualism. This is what has worked for me. But it’s more or less a natural advantage for me. I’ve always been somewhat of a lone ranger, sticking to myself and being very selective with whom I mingle with. When you’re like this, you don’t really have peer pressure and you’re less inclined to be like other people. Therefore, one can be their true self much easier and live a life that represents who they really are. I consider myself a late bloomer, but this is a great thing, because late bloomers tend see their best days ahead of them, rather than behind them like people who’ve had success earlier in their lives. Many late bloomers tend to be individualists. It takes us a bit longer to discover what we’re good at and what our true purpose in life is. My life didn’t get good until I was 38 years old, when I discovered my calling. And I just want to say that it doesn’t really matter what other people think of you, it only really matters what you think of yourself. If someone isn’t important to your life or isn’t someone you really like, then their opinions of you don’t really matter. This is part of the power of individualism. You have less distractions from other people and more inner peace. The more people you let into your life, the more problems you’re going to have. Therefore, you should be very selective with whom you let into your life; quality over quantity.   How can feeling like an outsider or an “outcast” become a powerful catalyst for personal growth, freedom, and authentic living? Well, honestly, the less time, money and energy you spend with other people, the more time, money and energy you can spend on yourself. This means that you can invest more into yourself and into your own life. And let’s not forget the influences that other people can have on us that tend to direct our own lives. I’ve never really been family-oriented, nor had many friends and I used to feel bad about that. I’ve just always been a different kind of person, I do things my own way, at my own pace. I’m my own kind of smart, my own kind of tough and I’ve achieved my own kind of success. People don’t like what’s different or what they don’t understand. But as I got olde r, I realized that a person is the average of the five people they spend the most time around. An d as I got older, I also realized that had I been popular and likeable as a younger person, my life wouldn’t have ended up the way it did. Being by myself, or being an “outcast” allowed me to be my own brand and not someone who tried so hard to fit in and be like other people. Also, as I mentioned, I’ve been able to invest more into myself and improve myself over time without the distractions of other people. So basically, what I thought was a permanent liability, ended up being a long-term asset. I turned lemons into lemonade. Now I get to live the life that I’ve crafted for myself, thanks to being an “outcast.” You just have to be your own best friend, love yourself first and listen to your heart.  What common fears hold people back from pursuing a life of exploration and self-discovery, and how can they overcome them? Most people are group-oriented, and especially, family-oriented. Most people are also programmed to do not what they want to do, so much, but rather what other people encourage them to do. A lot of people want to be like other people in their families, or like other people they idolize. Many people grow up with close-knit, supportive families and close friends in neighborhoods that they become familiar with, are comfortable in and are attached to. It’s no surprise that most people end up like their parents and friends they stay close to where they grew up. Who can blame anyone for this, especially if they have wonderful childhood memories and loving people who care about them?  People with these circumstances want to stay around faces and places that make them feel like they belong to something special that remind them of the “good ole days,” and where they know they can call someone for help, have a listening ear or just a shoulder to cry on. People like this are less likely to venture out, take risks and do what they themselves want to do, without being so influenced by others.  People are always going to naturally do what’s most convenient for them, but I feel that for people to reach their full potential in life, they need to do what’s inconvenient. Most people grow up and become something that’s reflective of the people and places they grew up around, because this is what they know and what they’re comfortable with. I didn’t grow up with this kind of life; I had just the opposite. I grew up around people that I didn’t want to be anything like, in a place that I wasn’t comfortable in and witnessing situations that I never wanted to experience myself. These were major incentives for me personally to work hard, join the U.S. Army, go to college and get out so that I could pursue a better life for myself . Most people where I grew up never make it out, they’re stuck there their whole life. If they do leave, it’s typically short-lived. They almost always end up coming back home.  I had to make certain choices in order for me to punch my ticket to a better life. These weren’t easy choices, but they were necessary choices. They were painful choices. But the long-term benefits that came with these choices far outweighed the short-term pain that came with them. I guess this could be an example of “no pain, no gain.” I’ve always been willing to do things that I feel most other people would not, and I’ve benefitted from it all. I’ve put myself in uncomfortable situations for long periods of time, knowing that the long-term benefits outweighed the short-term costs. An example of this would be teaching English in China as an American for almost 10 years; a country widely considered to be America’s greatest adversary and having non-American foreign co-workers who are partial to countries that are at odds with the U.S. and Israel. You get a lot of animosity from people. But China is starving for American teachers to teach their children American English, and all about the United States, and schools will pay big money for them because they’re good for business. Fortunately, I’ve developed a high tolerance for humility. This simply comes from developing a survival instinct; doing what’s necessary to survive and reach my goals. Since I’m not like most people with respect to being family-oriented and I don’t have a lot of friends, I’ve developed the habit of being self-sufficient and being creative with finding solutions to my problems. I know how to do without, I’m good with money (thanks to my business education), I almost never ask other people for help and I take pride in all this. Over the years I’ve acquired skills that have been major assets to me as a world-traveling digital nomad and foreign expat. So, when referring to “common fears,” they really only exist in “common people.” There is nothing common about me, my persona, my lifestyle, my past or my ambitions.  How does travel and stepping outside familiar environments accelerate personal transformation and clarity about one’s path? In my opinion, travel provides the best education for all people. Actually, I should call it a fact. When a person gets out of their comfort zone that they’re familiar with and enters into an unknown world, they will get mixed feelings. The “fear of the unknown” is always a factor and then there is the mass media that tends to brainwash and mislead people on what different people and places around the world are really like. But people can also become very happy and be inspired as well. They can have life-changing experiences. If you’re like me, and you come from a homogenous culture and grew up around people whom you share a lot of cultural characteristics and values with, then being in places and around people that you’re not familiar with can definitely give one culture shock. But honestly, aside from learning about the rest of the world, travel can teach people about themselves more than anything else. Because we can’t see ourselves like other people can, so that’s why having a diversified social network is essential so that people will give us different perspectives about ourselves. This can make us feel both good and bad, but all  the feedback can be used constructively to improve ourselves. For example, I’ve learned that being American is both a blessing and a curse. The former versus the latter will really depend on where you are, and who you’re around and where you're at. Everyone has their own opinion about how they see you, based on what you look like, how you talk, where you’re from, etc. But getting a mix of perspectives not just about yourself, but about everything else in the world, can teach us all a great deal about life. When we realize that we don’t know as much as we think we do, it’s a real powerful awakening that changes who we are. It's a very humbling experience that can help us grow. It takes an open mind. Travel is the best form of education. Period.  This educational (& spiritual)  benefit that comes with traveling helps people discover what their true purpose in life is. My choice to move to China to teach English in 2012 after I graduated with my 3 rd  college degree was really based on a gut feeling. I just did it with limited research. I was still relatively young, I was single with no kids, I had never been outside the U.S. and I just needed a job. I had a friend who was doing it and that gave me more confidence. I had a mountain of student loan debt to pay off and I didn’t know enough Spanish at the time to land any kind of lucrative job in Miami. So, it just seemed like an opportunity with numerous benefits. But it was a decision that changed my life, forever and for the better. To be more specific, Wuhan changed my life, forever and for the better. China was my land of opportunity. Things got worse before they got better, but when they got better, they got much better. In late 2016 I had managed to pay off all my student loans after just 4 years in China. I was doing very well financially. I then took a Christmas trip to Jakarta, Indonesia to see a friend and by the time I left to fly back to China around New Year’s Day, I had discovered my calling at 38 years old. I knew that I was meant to become a world-traveling digital nomad. I created Outcast Vagabond in early 2017; I designed a logo, built my own Website, Facebook Page , YouTube channe l and the rest is history. Indonesia was my 5 th  country traveled. Who would have thought that teaching English in China, with as much drama that came with it, would lead to the blessed and beautiful life that I have today?! This is why everyone should travel, because of what it does for us in ways that can’t be done for us by staying in one place most of our lives. Travel changes people; it changes our minds, who we are and how we live. It also provides unique career opportunities.  What practical steps can someone take to reconnect with their inner compass and start making decisions aligned with their true identity? Start traveling more. Don’t say “I don’t have the time” or “I don’t have the money.” If anything, you can take weekend getaway trips to destinations that are close to home and that don’t cost very much. In this day and age, many people work with their laptops and phones and can get work done in a mobile way. You should stow whatever excuses you have and get creative on how you can incorporate more travel into your life. You can bring your family with you on your weekend getaway trips, or even longer and more distant trips. No excuses. Just make it happen. People discover so much about themselves when they travel. They learn things they never would have by not traveling, they get to embark on new experiences, try new cuisines, meet new people and just discover a version of themselves that they never knew existed. It wasn’t until I started traveling that I was able to discover my true self, and I learned just how wrong people were about the rest of the world, and this included the people I grew up around, my educators and the mass media. Second-hand information is never a substitute for first-hand experiences. You have to challenge yourself to change yourself. Travel also makes people better because it makes them more tolerant to people who aren’t like them, and this is because travel enables understanding; it breaks stereotypes. Travel educates us, it inspires us, it gives us purpose and it makes us happy. But I feel that it’s the freedom factor that comes with travel that is priceless. Life is too short to stay in one spot, and the world is huge. If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet. If you’re going to live, LIVE!!!  Travel. According to psychologist Dr. Rich Walker, people who engage in a diversity of experiences are more likely to feel positive emotions than negative ones. I can tell you from my experience as a traveler, that is absolutely true. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jeffrey A. Epps

Written by Alex Manos, Elite Athlete Life Coach Alex Manos is a Coach for Elite Athletes and Professional sportspeople. He is the founder of Athlete Life Coaching, which is a bespoke coaching business that focuses on coaching the human behind the athlete to maximize performance in their sport and life. The three P’s of professional sport, process, practice, and performance, not only drive improvement and results but also play a crucial role in managing the pressure athletes put on themselves. By sharpening focus on these three pillars, athletes can transform how they experience and respond to pressure in their careers. Sport is one of the few things in life that is finite. It has a starting point, an endpoint, and a result. But what if athletes approached it slightly differently and realised that, like most other things in life, it is infinite? The lens through which we look at things has a big impact on our perception of time, progress, and success. Let’s take tennis as an example and look at a season. It consists of many tournaments, split into different categories and played on different surfaces. Each tournament has a number of matches you need to win in order to win the tournament, and each carries ranking points, which are adjusted throughout the year. This then determines which tournaments you play in. Furthermore, if you do well in a tournament one year, to defend those points the next year, you have to do equally well in the same tournament. So the incentive is to keep winning and progressing far in tournaments. This isn’t a novel concept in sport or, indeed, in life, where winning comes with rewards. There is no denying that a certain level of pressure and stress can be healthy and can motivate and discipline athletes, but often the scale tips too far the other way, and athletes underperform under the weight placed on outcomes, results, points, and success in sport. To address this, let’s focus on three key areas that can support athletes, the 3 P’s. Practice It is impossible to excel at something without putting in the miles. Even the most gifted athletes still practice hard. I was under the illusion that some of the greats of the sport practiced less because they are “naturally” gifted, so they need fewer hours honing their craft. It’s not true. The reason it often looks effortless to them is the hours of training they have put in. I was surprised to hear how much Roger Federer and Ronnie O’Sullivan, the world’s most successful snooker player, actually practice. There are no shortcuts. The volume, intensity, and structure of your practice will prepare you for your match, game, or event. The event is the showpiece that will take care of itself, and by the time you reach that point, it is harder to influence the outcome. But practice is where you can analyse and curate your craft without the pressure of outcome. My advice to athletes is to treat practice as if it were the main event. This is where the body and mind do the work. Key takeaway: Consistent, focused practice builds the foundation for performance under pressure. Process “Trust the process”, a classic cliché in the sporting world. And it’s true, but it has conditions. What if the process isn’t right? Here, you need to look at all the components of being an elite athlete and ensure you maintain the high standards required. Diet, sleep, recovery, practice, hydration, gym work, mental agility, and resilience. An athlete is the sum of many moving parts that make up the whole process. What if the people involved in the process aren’t the right ones? Sport is a short career on the whole, and it’s too short not to have the right team around you. Finding your tribe and people you trust is not always easy and can be even more difficult when you realise you need to make a change. Loyalty and not wanting to lose people’s friendship or connection play a big part. Unfortunately, this is where athletes need to be even more self-centred and selfish than they are, this is a necessary trait. Your sport is your business and livelihood, like any other profession. You have to be prepared to have difficult conversations, make challenging decisions, and change the people around you if it is in your best interest. What if you are focusing on the process, but nothing is changing? This is determined by how you measure change and by the timeframe you use to assess the outcomes. If the timeframe is too long all the time, to lessen the pressure on short-term results, it can lead to a lack of focus and too much weight on process over outcome. If it is too short, unrealistic expectations can be set, leading to setbacks being seen as failures in the process. This is where it is critical, with your coaching team, to set clear, tangible, subjective, and objective goals in the short, mid, and long term. Some will be controllable and some won’t, but they can all be worked towards and monitored. Key takeaway: Regularly review and adjust process goals to stay on track and reduce pressure. Performance “Winning is all that counts.” “The performance is what matters.” Which one is it? Well, it is both, and it also depends on your sport, philosophy, and the level at which you are competing. Let’s take two very different sports, diving and football. Diving requires precise and accurate performance to win or score highly. Football does not. In football, you can play badly, have worse stats than the other team, and still win. The opposite is true, too. The key to focusing on performance is how you analyse it, when you analyse it, and what you focus on. It is very easy to win something and then not look at your performance or, if you lose, to overanalyse it. My three key points would be this: Just because you are winning, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t analyse how you won, what could have gone better, and what to work on next time. Every loss doesn’t need an in-depth autopsy. Sometimes it is best to move on and accept that it was “a bad day at the office”. Analyse outside of competition time. This allows exploration and detailed examination at times when competition is not the focus. Key takeaway Separate analysis from immediate results to foster objective performance improvement. Bringing it all together, sport becomes more manageable when you have a system that aligns your focus on these key areas at the appropriate times. A life coach or mental performance coach like myself can help you clarify your focus, structure your approach, and take your athletic career to the next level. Together, we can identify areas of improvement and create a concrete plan for success. If you are ready to improve your performance, gain confidence, and maximise your potential, I invite you to connect with me . Let’s work together to elevate your game. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Alex Manos Alex Manos, Elite Athlete Life Coach Alex Manos is changing the landscape for how coaching and mental training can benefit Elite Athletes. Having spent 25 years as a physiotherapist, half of which was working in professional sport, he turned his career to coaching several years ago. Passionate about developing athletes as humans first, his work focuses on self-discovery and realization of how their life outside of their sporting arena is a reflection of life in it. Put simply, his coaching philosophy is "Where the athlete meets the human".

Written by Stella Dimitrakakis, Founder & Physical Therapist Stella Dimitrakakis is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and Board-Certified Orthopedic Specialist and Certified Functional Manual Therapist specializing in orthopedic and women’s health, helping people move better and avoid unnecessary injections or surgery. Many people live with recurring pain despite stretching, strengthening, therapy, or repeated treatments. When scans look normal and nothing seems to explain the discomfort, frustration often follows. This article explores how fascia, the body’s connective tissue network, may be the overlooked factor behind persistent pain, stiffness, and limited mobility. By understanding how hidden restrictions affect movement and recovery, readers can discover why pain keeps returning and what may help create lasting relief. Why your pain isn’t going away even after treatment You’ve stretched, strengthened, and maybe even gone through rounds of physical therapy, chiropractic care, or imaging. And yet the pain keeps coming back. Many people are told it’s just tight muscles, poor posture, or that everything looks “normal.” But if that’s true, why are you still dealing with it? Pain isn’t always as simple as where you feel it. What if the issue isn’t just the muscle, the joint, or even the area that hurts, but the system connecting it all?  What is fascia and why it matters more than you think Fascia is a specialized, thin, and elastic connective tissue network that wraps around every muscle, bone, nerve, and organ in your body. It provides structure and organization, separating tissues while also connecting them into one continuous system. It plays a critical role in how your body moves and functions. Fascia helps reduce friction so structures can glide smoothly, transmits force generated by muscles, stores elastic energy, and even acts as a sensory organ, helping your body understand where it is in space. Rather than thinking of the body as individual parts, it’s more accurate to see it as one interconnected system and fascia is a major reason why. Why fascia is essential for health and performance Fascia is deeply integrated into nearly every system in the body, which is why it plays such an important role in both everyday function and long-term health. It provides internal structure and support, giving your body its shape and helping keep everything in the right place. Fascia also plays a key role in force transmission, allowing muscles to work together rather than in isolation. Research has shown that force can be distributed across connected tissues, not just through tendons, but through the surrounding fascial system as well. Healthy fascia also allows for proper lubrication and glide. It contains substances like hyaluronan, which help tissues slide past each other smoothly without friction or irritation. When this system is working well, movement feels fluid and efficient. Beyond movement, fascia is one of the body’s richest sensory tissues. It plays a key role in proprioception (your awareness of body position), nociception (how your body processes pain), and interoception (your awareness of internal states). It also supports circulation and immune function by providing pathways for blood and lymphatic flow and housing important immune cells. In short, fascia is not just supportive tissue, it’s an active, dynamic system that influences how you move, feel, and function. What happens when fascia becomes restricted Fascia is designed to be elastic and adaptable. But over time, it can become restricted due to a variety of factors, including trauma (like a fall), inflammation, surgical procedures, repetitive strain, dehydration, or even chronic stress. When this happens, the tissue can lose its fluidity and become more dense, sticky, or less mobile. Instead of gliding smoothly, layers of tissue begin to pull on each other. This creates abnormal tension in the system, which can place stress on muscles, joints, and nerves. One of the biggest challenges is that these types of restrictions often don’t show up on standard imaging like X-rays or MRIs. Yet they can create very real symptoms, pain, stiffness, limited mobility, and compensation patterns that continue to build over time.   A real-life example: When the root cause isn’t obvious I was treating a patient in his late 20s with persistent left shoulder pain. Initially, the findings made sense. There was some restriction in his acromioclavicular joint and limited upward rotation of the scapula due to muscle imbalances. As we worked through those impairments, he started improving. By the third session, his pain had decreased significantly, and his range of motion was improving. But something still felt off. As I continued assessing, I traced and isolated a restriction along his lower left side near his floating ribs. The tissue felt dense, almost sticky, with a pulling sensation that didn’t match the shoulder findings. When I looked closer, I noticed a small scar. I asked him about it, and he casually mentioned he had kidney surgery as an infant, something he hadn’t thought to include in his medical history. That was the missing piece. After addressing the fascial restriction in that area with hands-on treatment, he had a full range of motion, and his shoulder pain dropped to zero. And more importantly, it didn’t come back. This is why taking a thorough history matters. What may seem unrelated, like a surgery in infancy or a fall decades ago, can play a significant role in how the body is functioning years later. Why temporary relief isn’t the same as resolution Many treatments can help reduce pain in the short term, and that relief is important. But if the underlying tension patterns and movement dysfunctions aren’t addressed, symptoms often return. This is where people get stuck in the cycle of feeling better temporarily, only to have the pain come back again. It’s not that these treatments are wrong, it’s that they may not be addressing the full picture. When fascial restrictions and compensatory patterns remain, the body continues to redistribute load in ways that aren’t efficient. Over time, that stress can show up in different areas—not necessarily where the original issue started. For example, a restriction in the iliacus or lower abdominal region can alter how force is transferred through the pelvis and spine, eventually contributing to lower back pain. In many cases, the painful area isn’t “failing,” it’s responding to an underlying dysfunction elsewhere in the system. If a muscle like the iliacus or psoas isn’t able to function efficiently, whether due to adhesions or restricted tissue mobility, the body adapts. Surrounding muscles begin to compensate to keep you moving. The brain is incredibly smart, it will always find a way to get the job done, whether that’s walking, climbing stairs, or exercising. But those compensations aren’t always optimal. Over time, that altered movement strategy can place increased stress on other areas, such as the lower back, and that’s often where symptoms begin to show up.   Why this matters especially after surgery It’s easy to understand how surgery can create fascial restrictions. Any incision disrupts the natural continuity of the tissue, and without proper rehabilitation, that area can become restricted over time. This is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about women receiving physical therapy after a C-section. It’s a major abdominal surgery, yet many are simply told to walk as their form of recovery which is a whole conversation I’ll save for another article. If someone had a total knee replacement and was told to “just walk” for their recovery, we’d question that immediately. We know they need structured rehabilitation. The same logic should apply here. Fascia doesn’t just heal on its own in an optimal way, it adapts based on how it’s used. Without guidance, that adaptation can lead to restriction rather than healthy movement.   While surgery is a very obvious example, this same idea shows up all the time, even without something as clear-cut. Pain doesn’t always mean something is damaged, it often reflects how the body has adapted over time. When you begin to look beyond the symptom and consider the system as a whole, patterns start to make more sense. And more importantly, they become changeable. Because sometimes, the missing link isn’t where the pain is, it’s how everything is connected. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Stella Dimitrakakis Stella Dimitrakakis, Founder & Physical Therapist Stella Dimitrakakis, PT, DPT, OCS, CFMT, PCES, SFMA L1, is a Board-Certified Orthopedic Specialist and Certified Functional Manual Therapist™ and the Founder of Soma Vita Physio & Wellness. She specializes in orthopedic rehabilitation, pelvic health, and TMJ dysfunction, helping active adults recover from pain, rebuild strength after pregnancy, and optimize long-term resilience. Her holistic approach blends advanced manual therapy, movement optimization strategies, and nervous system integration to support sustainable performance at every stage of life. Stella’s work centers on empowering individuals to move confidently and future-proof their bodies for lifelong health.

Written by Aleksandra Tsenkova, Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker Blending Person-Centred therapy with coaching and DBT, Aleksandra Tsenkova helps people worldwide heal trauma, unpack emotional wounds, and step into confidence. There’s a moment that happens more often than we as psychotherapists admit. A question is asked sometimes gently, sometimes with intention and it just lands. No immediate answer, no clear response, just a pause, or a shift, or a quiet “I don’t know.” And almost instantly, something gets assumed. They’re avoiding. They’re guarded. They’re not engaging. In therapy, this is often called resistance, and outside of it, we have our own versions of the same conclusion. But what if that moment isn’t what we think it is? What if the absence of an answer is not a problem to solve, but something to understand? In this article, I want to gently question what we label as resistance, and explore what might actually be happening instead. Not answering a question can mean many things, and most of them have very little to do with unwillingness. Sometimes there aren’t words yet, sometimes the question arrives too early, and sometimes something in the interaction doesn’t feel safe enough to be met with honesty. At times, the pressure to respond is subtle but present, shaping the moment in ways we don’t immediately notice. And sometimes, the need for an answer says more about the person asking than the person being asked. If we slow this down and look a little closer, what we often label as resistance begins to soften into something far more human and far more worthy of understanding. 1. The assumption behind the question Questions are often seen as neutral, simple invitations for someone to share, clarify, or go deeper. But in practice, they rarely arrive empty. Most questions carry something within them: an expectation, a direction, sometimes even an urgency. They can imply that the other person should know, should be ready, or should be willing to go where the question is pointing. And when that expectation is not met, when the answer doesn’t come, or doesn’t come in the way we anticipate, it can quickly feel like something is off. What often goes unnoticed is how much is already happening in the space before an answer is given. A question can shape the interaction more than we intend. It can narrow the focus, set the pace, or subtly position one person as the one who knows and the other as the one who is expected to respond. Even when asked with care, it can carry a quiet pressure: meet me here, go here with me, give me something I can work with. From a person-centred perspective, this matters. Because when we begin to look closely, the absence of an answer is not just about the person being asked, it’s also about the context being created. If a question holds an assumption, then not answering it may not be avoidance, but a response to that very assumption. And that shifts the way we begin to understand what’s happening in the moment. 2. When silence is not resistance Silence is often uncomfortable. It interrupts the flow of conversation, stretches the space between people, and leaves room for uncertainty. In that space, it’s easy to assume that something is being withheld that the person is pulling away, shutting down, or choosing not to engage. This is where the idea of resistance tends to take hold. But silence is not always a refusal. More often, it is a form of communication in itself. Sometimes, there are no words available yet. The experience may be present, but not fully formed, not yet understood, or simply too complex to be translated into language on the spot. In these moments, being asked to respond can feel like being asked to define something that is still unfolding. A pause, or an “I don’t know,” is not a defence, it’s an honest reflection of where that person is. At other times, silence can be protective. Not in a guarded or oppositional way, but in a deeply human one. When something feels uncertain, exposed, or not fully safe, it makes sense that a person might hesitate before putting words to it. This isn’t about resisting the process, it’s about staying within what feels manageable. When we begin to see silence in this way, it softens. It becomes less about something going wrong and more about something not yet ready. And in that shift, the role of the other person changes too. Not to push for an answer, but to be present enough for one to emerge, if and when it can. 3. The problem with needing an answer Wanting an answer can feel natural, even helpful. It gives direction, creates movement, offers something to hold onto. But when that want becomes a need, something in the interaction begins to shift. The focus moves, often subtly, from understanding the other person to reaching a point of clarity as quickly as possible. The difficulty is that this urgency doesn’t exist in isolation. It is felt. It shapes the space between people in ways that are not always spoken but often deeply sensed. A question asked with a need behind it can carry a different weight. It can feel less like an invitation and more like a demand, even when that is not the intention. And in response, the other person may move further away from what is true for them, rather than closer. At times, the need for an answer is also a way of managing our own discomfort. Not knowing can feel unsettling. Sitting with pauses, ambiguity, or a lack of clarity can bring up a sense of unease, especially in roles where we feel responsible for guiding, helping, or making sense of things. Reaching for an answer can become a way to regain a sense of control. But when the priority becomes finding an answer, we risk missing the person in front of us. We may begin to listen for something specific, rather than remaining open to whatever is actually there. From a person-centred perspective, this is where the process can quietly lose its depth. Because what helps people move is not the pressure to produce an answer, but the experience of being met without needing to. 4. What actually helps people speak People are often more ready to speak than it appears. What is usually missing is not willingness, but the right kind of space. Not a space filled with carefully worded questions or techniques, but one that feels open enough, steady enough, and unpressured enough for something real to emerge. When there is no sense of needing to produce an answer, something begins to shift. The focus moves away from responding and back towards experiencing. In that kind of space, people don’t have to organise their thoughts prematurely or shape them into something that fits the direction of the conversation. They can stay closer to what is actually there, even if it’s unclear, unfinished, or difficult to put into words. What helps, then, is not more precision in questioning, but a different quality of presence. One that is patient, attuned, and not driven by outcome. Being with someone in this way communicates something often more powerful than any question: that they are not being led, managed, or evaluated, but met. It is often from here that words begin to come, not all at once, and not always neatly, but in a way that feels more grounded and more true. Not because they were pulled out, but because there was finally enough room for them to exist. 5. Moving beyond “resistance” The language we use shapes the way we see people. When we describe someone as resistant, it can subtly position them as difficult, uncooperative, or somehow in the way of progress. Even when used clinically, the word carries a certain weight, one that can distance us from the person’s experience and move us closer to interpretation than understanding. But if we begin to question this label, something opens up. What we call resistance often starts to look different when we slow it down. It may be uncertainty, not opposition. It may be protection, not avoidance. It may be an expression of not feeling ready, not feeling safe, or simply not having the words yet. And none of these are problems to be fixed, they are responses to be understood. Moving beyond resistance is not about replacing one label with another, but about letting go of the need to label too quickly in the first place. It invites a shift from working on someone to being with them, from trying to move things forward to allowing them to unfold at their own pace. In that shift, the dynamic changes. The pressure softens, the space becomes more open, and the person is no longer seen as standing in the way of the process, but as the process itself. And when that happens, what once looked like resistance often reveals itself as something far more human, and far more deserving of patience, respect, and care. Ending Perhaps not every question needs an answer, at least not right away. And perhaps what we so quickly move to interpret could instead be something we learn to sit with. When we loosen our need to define, to label, or to move things forward, we create space for something quieter but more honest to emerge. Not a performance, not a response shaped by expectation, but something real, and in that space, being understood may matter far more than being able to explain. Follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and LinkedIn  for more info! Read more from Aleksandra Tsenkova Aleksandra Tsenkova, Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker Aleksandra Tsenkova supports individuals on their healing journey by integrating Person-Centred therapy, coaching, and DBT. She helps people process emotional pain, recover from trauma, and rebuild inner trust to step into their confidence. With a deep belief in each person’s capacity for growth, she creates space for powerful self-discovery and lasting transformation. Her work is grounded in a passion for empowering others to reclaim their voice and unlock their potential. Through her writing, Aleksandra invites readers into meaningful conversations about healing, resilience, and personal freedom.

Written by Georgina Smith, Founder, Share-A-Table Georgina, Founder ,  is a global adventurer, experience designer, and firm believer that the right conversation at the right moment can change your life. Share-A-Table is my way of making those moments happen for you. The New York Times just published deep research (which in fact started in the 1930s) on what makes us happier and how small changes can make a remarkable impact on our happiness, using simple, low-cost interventions, available anywhere, anytime, no expensive subscriptions or downloads required. Yes, you may believe, oooh, come on, that the list includes everything we’ve heard before: devote your time to journaling, practice gratitude, do real yoga, breathing exercises or breathwork, meditate, exercise, cut the carbs, eat more dark chocolate (70% and above), or sup at a deep red. Yet what they've discovered, in fact proven, promises to keep your attention for more than a nanosecond and fill your heart with more health and wellness than your oat/almond matcha latte or protein-packed breakfast (post-fast, of course). Yes, even if your smartwatch is twitching and flickering on full green. This "consistent and constant change" amounts to far more in terms of happiness (and wellness) than what your watch dial is now bleeping, and worth more in terms of health benefits than the fact that you’ll nail today’s ‘data’ goal. Their research proved that all the above activities will only move the needle so far, yet will not necessarily make you happier overall. So, yes, please grab that croissant and full-fat flat white (cow's milk) while you read on. We wish to clarify what we mean by happiness What we mean is that deep, joyful, quiet, and stable cheer that makes you inwardly smile and glow, each and every time. It also quietly makes you feel super grateful you’re spinning around on planet Earth (despite all the current messy bits). And yes, you will notice much more natural beauty and be far kinder. What their research reminds us is something we all intuitively know, and especially, when we feel its silent absence. What makes us truly happy is: "Strong, long-term relationships with spouses, family, and friends built on deep trust, not achievement, not fortune, or fame..." This is what guarantees to predict our well-being and our true sense of happiness. Their research states that those who are actively more socially engaged (even if you’re an introvert) are profoundly happier. And a tip here: if your goal this year includes more social activities or deepening your social network, and if you have, in fact, taken steps toward that goal, it was proven that you’ll be happier a year later. What’s more (and sorry for the Share-A-Table plug), we are working with the intention to make you thrive locally and therefore be happier: in fact, even fleeting social interactions could improve happiness. What does that mean if you dine out or share-a-table with strangers? You ask? How is that a deep social relationship? Well, that is certainly a very good question. Again, back to the research: Yes, we all suffer from the social awkwardness of reaching out and speaking with strangers, "yet we are, in fact, far happier when we make ourselves do the very deed that feels so awkward." I believe it gives us social confidence (in a natural way); we have a greater sense that we belong (exactly where we’re standing) as we are both seen and heard because we’ve captured someone's attention (albeit briefly). Yet also, and especially, because we learn something new We give ourselves the "chance to possibly learn, as each and every time it holds the promise of unexpected insight.” And in today’s world, back to the smartwatch and smart devices: we are simply not getting that unexpected insight because everything we read or see seems a copy or a mirror of something we have (just) seen before. It is then amplified across ‘our’ different media sets, from LinkedIn to Insta, or whichever social app you flip between. And what binds it all together? Those pesky bots and algorithms that follow you around until you are literally bored, bored of yourself, your thoughts, your world. So yes, this great journalist closes the article stating that: Start small tomorrow If you could do one thing tomorrow to improve your happiness, make it this. Have a heartfelt conversation with someone. It could be a deeper chat with a loved one or an open exchange with a new acquaintance. The rewards and unexpectedness will surprise you. And yes, at Share-A-Table, we make it easier for you to have those exact types of conversations, with people you don't know yet, hence you're guaranteed to learn something new and be surprised by the unexpected! To close, it is with our great pleasure to invite you to Share-A-Table with us. Read the full research report here. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram ,  LinkedIn ,  and my website for more info! Read more from Georgina Smith Georgina Smith, Founder, Share-A-Table From Melbourne to Amsterdam, Georgina Smith has lived, traveled, and designed unforgettable event experiences across the globe. She knows firsthand that one serendipitous connection can change everything. That's the magic she's bottling with Share-A-Table, a platform built on being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people.

Lasting body transformation doesn’t begin with a perfect plan, it begins with rewiring the patterns that shape how we think, feel, and respond. In this interview, we explore how the MAI Body Method uses neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and identity-based habit change to help clients reconnect with their bodies and create sustainable emotional and physical results. Kamaile Manol, Neuroplasticity Coach & Founder of MAI BODY What specific techniques and processes do you use to help clients reconnect with their bodies and create lasting emotional and physical transformation? At the core of my coaching is the MAI Body Method, a three-step process rooted in neuroscience and built around the concept of neuroplasticity, your brain’s ability to change, adapt, and rewire itself over time. MAI stands for Mind, Action, and Identity, and it’s the framework I use to help clients move out of autopilot and into intentional, lasting transformation. Most people believe results come from following the “perfect” plan, but real transformation comes from becoming the person who naturally embodies the habits they’re chasing. That’s what this method is designed to do. Mind is where we start. Your brain is designed to automate behaviors through the basal ganglia to conserve energy, which is why your habits, cravings, and reactions can feel automatic. Instead of jumping straight into action, we slow things down. When clients begin to observe their thoughts and patterns without judgment, they activate the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and self-control. This is where they stop living on autopilot and begin reconnecting with their body in a conscious way. Action is where change begins. Every habit follows a loop, cue, behavior, reward. Once we identify these patterns, we focus on interrupting them in real time. This can be as simple as pausing for a few seconds before reacting. That pause reduces the dopamine reinforcement associated with the behavior and begins to weaken the neural pathway through a process known as synaptic pruning. Over time, the brain begins to release patterns that are no longer being repeated. Identity is where transformation is solidified. The brain changes through repetition, so every time a client chooses a new action, whether it’s showing up for a workout, drinking enough water, or responding differently to stress, they are strengthening new neural connections through long-term potentiation. With consistency, these behaviors become more automatic through myelination, meaning they start to feel natural instead of forced. Rather than only focusing on following a plan, we focus on building systems that support identity change. We look at what’s actually causing the breakdowns, like restarting every Monday, missing workouts, not drinking enough water, or not eating enough protein, and we identify where in their daily life there is room to create alignment instead of resistance. This process allows clients to reconnect with their bodies, not by forcing change, but by understanding themselves on a deeper level. And that’s what creates a transformation that actually lasts. What are the most common signs of body disconnection or burnout you see in clients, and how do you guide them back to alignment? After working with over 175 women ranging from ages 14 to 74, I’ve found that burnout rarely comes from a lack of effort. It almost always comes from a lack of understanding of how to actually change. We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we’re not seeing results, we must not be working hard enough. But for busy moms, overworked executives, women navigating unexpected loss, or those going through major life transitions like getting laid off, that couldn’t be further from the truth. These women are not lacking discipline. They are overwhelmed, overstimulated, and often deeply disconnected from their bodies. Some of the most common signs I see are chronic fatigue, bloating, inconsistent routines, late-night cravings, poor sleep, and the constant cycle of starting over. They might follow a plan perfectly for a few weeks, but the moment life happens, they fall back into old patterns and feel like they’re back at square one. What’s really happening is that their bodies are holding onto stress. When stress is high and recovery is low, the body will always prioritize survival over transformation. This is where that feeling of being stuck comes from. The first thing we do is create space. Instead of immediately adding more structure or pressure, we zoom out and look at their life from a bird’s-eye view. We identify what’s actually going on beneath the surface, not just the habits, but the environment, the stressors, and the patterns that are keeping them stuck. From there, we reconnect them to their “why.” Without a strong reason to anchor to, it becomes incredibly difficult to choose long-term fulfillment over short-term gratification, whether that’s choosing to nourish their body instead of reaching for a quick dopamine hit from food, or choosing to move their body instead of defaulting to what feels easy in the moment. Alignment comes from understanding, not force. Once a client can see their patterns clearly and connect their actions to a deeper purpose, they stop fighting themselves and start working with their body instead of against it. And that’s when real, sustainable change begins. How do you customize your body-based healing approach for clients at different stages of their journey to ensure deep and sustainable results? I take a stage-specific, individualized approach to body-based healing, grounded in both neuroscience and real-life application. Every client engagement begins with a clear understanding of their current reality, their schedule, stress, habits, and capacity, so the plan we build is not only effective but executable. Sustainability is the standard, not the afterthought. My work is centered around fat loss, and clients are guided through three distinct phases, Base, Build, and Burn. In the Base phase, we focus on foundational work. This includes assessing routines, identifying what has kept them stuck, setting clear non-negotiables, and building a deeper connection to their why. From a fitness standpoint, we prioritize strength training, as muscle is a key driver of sustainable fat loss. Clients also begin to understand nutrition and macros in a way that feels structured and freeing, rather than restrictive or overwhelming. In the Build phase, we transition these habits into a lifestyle. We reinforce the systems established in Phase 1 while continuing to challenge the body through progressive training. This is typically where clients begin to see tangible fat loss results, as consistency compounds. In the Burn phase, the focus shifts to refinement and identity. We optimize for fat loss while reinforcing the behaviors and mindset that support it. At this stage, clients are no longer following a plan. They are embodying it. The identity shift is solidified, and the lifestyle becomes their new normal. Across all stages, the goal is the same, to create an approach that aligns with the individual, supports their lifestyle, and leads to sustainable transformation. What measurable shifts or results do your clients typically experience after working with you, and how do you track their progress? My clients experience both physical and neurological shifts, because the work is designed to change not just their body, but the patterns that drive their behavior. From a measurable standpoint, clients typically see consistent fat loss, improved body composition, increased strength, and more stable energy levels. Many also experience reduced cravings, better digestion, and improved sleep, all of which are indicators of a more regulated system. Equally important are the internal shifts. Clients move from inconsistency and all-or-nothing thinking into structured, repeatable habits. They build self-trust, develop a clearer understanding of nutrition, and gain the ability to make decisions that align with their goals without relying on motivation. Progress is tracked through a combination of quantitative and qualitative data. This includes body weight trends, progress photos, measurements, strength progression in the gym, and adherence to key habits. We also track biofeedback such as hunger, energy, sleep, stress, and digestion, as these often indicate progress before physical changes are fully visible. In addition, I place a strong emphasis on behavioral consistency and identity shifts. Are they following through on their non-negotiables? Are they responding differently to stress? Are their habits becoming automatic? This dual approach ensures we are not just tracking short-term results, but building long-term, sustainable change. How does neuroplasticity reshape the way we should approach fat loss and long-term behavior change, and why do most traditional methods fail to account for it? Neuroplasticity fundamentally changes how we approach fat loss and long-term behavior change, shifting the focus from outcomes to patterns. The brain does not prioritize your goals. It prioritizes what you repeatedly do. Through neuroplasticity, the brain is constantly rewiring itself based on repeated thoughts, behaviors, and emotional responses. Over time, these patterns become more efficient and automated, forming habits that operate with little conscious effort. Most traditional fat loss methods fail because they focus almost exclusively on short-term outcomes, rigid plans, and external accountability, without addressing the underlying neural patterns driving behavior. They rely on intensity, restriction, and motivation, all of which are inherently temporary and cognitively demanding. This places constant pressure on the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and self-control, which fatigues quickly under stress. As a result, when life becomes unpredictable or stress increases, individuals default back to their existing neural pathways, not because they lack discipline, but because those pathways are more deeply wired. A neuroplasticity-based approach reframes fat loss as a process of rewiring. Instead of forcing behavior change, it builds it through repetition, consistency, and alignment with an individual’s lifestyle. By creating small, sustainable actions that are repeated over time, new neural pathways are formed, strengthening behaviors that support long-term results. This is how habits become automatic, self-trust is rebuilt, and identity begins to shift. The focus is no longer on chasing results, but on becoming the person whose patterns naturally produce them. Sustainable fat loss is not achieved through more effort, but through more intelligent repetition. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn, and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Kamaile Manol

Written by Davian Bryan, Self-Confidence Coach Davian Bryan is the author of Vulnerable Soul (published in 2025). Through Storytelling Power , he helps brands strengthen their storytelling with creative communication. As a self-confidence coach at Dare Your Lifestyle , he empowers introverts to embrace their God-given confidence. “What would you do differently today if you knew for certain that no one was watching, no one was judging, and no one’s opinion of you would ever change how your life turns out?” Take a real second with that. Not a quick scroll-past. Actually sit with it. Because if your honest answer looks different from the life you are actually living right now, that gap is exactly what this post is about. Millions of people wake up every morning and silently hand their confidence over to other people. They overthink decisions, rehearse conversations before they happen, post something and then check who responded, and say yes when every part of them wants to say no. And the painful part is that most of them do not even realize they are doing it. According to Psychology Today’s research on people-pleasing behavior , the need for approval is often tied to a fear of rejection and a sense of self-worth that depends on what others think. In other words, it is not a personality flaw. It is a learned pattern, and learned patterns can be unlearned. This post will show you how. Seven real, proven secrets, grounded in research and built for the person who is tired of letting other people’s opinions run the show. Let us get into it. What does “stop seeking validation” actually mean? A lot of people misunderstand this. They think it means becoming cold, not caring, or rejecting all feedback. It means none of that. According to Dr. Karyn Hall on PsychCentral , validation is the recognition of another person’s experience, while self-validation is the ability to recognize your own internal experience without needing someone else to confirm it first. Stopping the approval cycle means your value is no longer up for a vote. It means moving from “Do they approve of me?” to “Do I approve of me?” It means your mood does not depend on how others respond, and you can make decisions without needing permission first. That shift sounds simple, but it rewires everything when you apply it. Why you keep seeking approval in the first place This is where most people skip ahead, trying to “be confident” without understanding the root. Approval-seeking almost always comes from three places: Fear of rejection, where acceptance once felt conditional, so you learned to earn it. Past conditioning, where you were noticed only when you performed or adapted yourself to meet expectations. Low self-worth, where external validation feels necessary just to feel grounded. A 2022 article from Psychology Today on people-pleasing and self-worth shows that people stuck in these patterns often deal with fear of abandonment and prioritize others over themselves. This is not a weakness. It is conditioning, and understanding that is the first step out. What seeking approval is really costing you Approval-seeking is not a small habit. Over time, it costs you things you cannot get back. Your identity, because constantly adjusting yourself makes you lose track of who you are. Your energy, because monitoring how people perceive you is mentally exhausting. Your self-worth, because each time you hand your confidence away, you reinforce that it lives outside of you. Your relationships, because people-pleasing teaches others what you will tolerate, and that line rarely improves. As explained in this breakdown on the pitfalls of people-pleasing , this pattern often comes from the belief that your worth depends on what you do for others, but that belief leads to burnout, not fulfillment. The good news is that all of this is reversible. The one shift that makes everything else work The goal is not to get more approval. The goal is to need less of it. Confidence is not built through compliments. It is built each time you act from your values instead of fear. Every time you choose yourself, that muscle strengthens. Every time you override your instincts to keep others comfortable, it weakens. The following seven secrets help you build that muscle intentionally. 1. Build self-awareness: The pause changes everything Most people never question their reactions. The need for approval runs quietly in the background. You notice a shift in someone’s tone or expression, and suddenly your focus shifts to analyzing what you did wrong instead of staying present. That is not awareness. That is surveillance. The moment you build the habit of pausing, even for a few seconds, something shifts. In that pause, you begin to hear your own thoughts instead of immediately reacting to someone else’s. Mindfulness research shows that present-moment awareness reduces emotional reactivity and strengthens self-regulation. Start here. When the urge to seek reassurance appears, pause and ask what you are actually feeling and what fear is driving it. The pause is where your power lives. 2. Turn to internal values: Build your own map When other people’s expectations guide your choices, you are following their direction, not your own. Your values are your internal compass. When decisions come from that place, you stop needing permission. Before agreeing to anything, ask yourself if it aligns with who you are becoming. If it does, move forward. If it does not, that is your answer. Proverbs 11:3 says, “The integrity of the upright guides them.” It does not promise ease, but it guarantees direction. If self-sabotage has been showing up in your life, this breakdown on how to stop self-sabotage patterns is worth reading alongside this section. 3. Practice self-validation: Be the first vote Self-validation is not arrogance. It is acknowledging what is true without waiting for someone else to confirm it. When you accomplish something, notice it. Do not immediately look around for validation. Acknowledge your effort, your progress, and your growth. Research on self-compassion shows that recognizing your own effort reduces self-criticism and builds resilience. If this feels unfamiliar, start with these daily mindfulness affirmations. 4. Set firm boundaries: Teach people how to treat you People-pleasing creates imbalance. Boundaries restore it. According to Psychology Today’s research on setting boundaries , people-pleasers often neglect their own needs, leading to burnout and resentment. The moment you begin saying no, things change. Some people will push back. Some will leave. But the ones who leave were never there for you, only for what you provided. If you want a deeper breakdown, this complete guide on how to stop pleasing people expands on it. 5. Spend time alone: Remember who you are Solitude removes external noise and allows clarity to return. Research from the University of Reading shows that intentional solitude builds independence and self-trust. Give yourself time without distraction. That is where self-trust is rebuilt. 6. Embrace discomfort: Face the fear directly You might not always notice it, but that fear of judgment can quietly shape how you think and respond. An article  on Verywell Mind by Amy Morin  explains this through something called rejection sensitivity – the tendency to expect rejection before anything has actually happened, and then interpret small, neutral moments as something negative. Most of the time, that pattern comes from past experiences. Your mind learned to stay alert, trying to protect you, but now it can overread situations that don’t carry that same meaning. Working through it isn’t about pretending you don’t care . It’s about becoming more aware in those moments – pausing before reacting, and questioning that first assumption instead of accepting it as fact. The goal isn’t to avoid rejection altogether. It’s to make sure the fear of it isn’t the thing deciding how you show up. 7. Use positive affirmations: Rewire your inner voice Research published in  American Psychologist  shows that affirmations strengthen self-worth and improve well-being. What you repeatedly say to yourself shapes your internal reality. If you are ready to begin, these confidence affirmations and meditations  ar e a strong place to start. The life you want is on the other side of this decision Ask yourself again. What would you do differently if no one’s opinion could change your life? That version of you already exists beneath the habits. Start with one. Build consistency. Stop seeking approval. Start seeking alignment. That is where your freedom begins. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Davian Bryan Davian Bryan, Self-Confidence Coach Davian Bryan is a freelance creative specializing in brand storytelling and communication strategy, and the author of Vulnerable Soul (2025). After overcoming insecurity and rebuilding his confidence through faith and discipline, he now helps introverts embrace their God-given confidence through Dare Your Lifestyle. He operates Storytelling Power, where he supports brands with strategic content creation and communication systems. His mission: Build clarity. Build confidence. Build something that lasts.

Written by Kate Thurman, Faith-Based Wellness Advocate Kate Thurman is an entrepreneur and media personality who equips leaders to walk boldly in purpose, faith, and business. Through ministry and mentorship, she empowers individuals to align vision with God’s calling and lead with authenticity and impact, helping women break the struggles of silence from life's difficulties through PCOS and trauma. For many women, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is more than a diagnosis, it’s a daily battle affecting hormones, confidence, weight, hair growth, and emotional well-being. But healing is not just physical. It is spiritual, emotional, and mental. Through faith, intentional wellness, and perseverance, women can move from frustration to purpose and reclaim their confidence. Understanding the silent struggle of PCOS PCOS impacts millions of women, yet many feel alone in their journey. Symptoms like hair thinning, weight gain, fatigue, and hormonal imbalances can affect self-esteem and identity. For some, it becomes easy to question their worth or feel discouraged about their bodies. However, PCOS does not define a woman’s value. It is simply one part of a larger story, a story that can include healing, strength, and growth. Faith as the foundation for healing Healing begins with perspective. Faith provides a foundation that reminds women they are created with purpose, regardless of challenges. When women shift their mindset from defeat to faith, they begin to approach wellness differently. Scripture reminds us in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” True healing starts when women stop measuring themselves against symptoms and begin embracing their purpose. Holistic healing: Mind, body, and spirit Managing PCOS often requires a holistic approach. This includes nourishing the body, supporting hormonal health, reducing stress, practicing consistent self-care, and strengthening spiritual wellness. Third John 1:2 reminds us, “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” When women address all aspects of their health, they create an environment where healing can flourish. Reclaiming confidence through self-care Self-care is not selfish, it is necessary. Intentional self-care practices such as scalp and hair care routines, wellness-focused products, prayer, and rest help rebuild confidence and remind women they are worthy of care and attention. Turning pain into purpose Many women discover that their health journey becomes a platform to help others. Romans 8:28 reminds us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” Even challenges like PCOS can be used to inspire and uplift others. Conclusion PCOS may present challenges, but it does not limit purpose. Through faith, holistic healing, and intentional self-care, women can reclaim confidence and walk boldly in their identity. Navigating PCOS is not just about managing symptoms, it’s about embracing a path of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment. While the physical challenges can be daunting, the emotional and spiritual growth that comes from embracing this journey is transformative. As women, it’s important to recognize that healing is not a linear path, but rather a series of small, intentional steps toward reclaiming your power and confidence. By nurturing your body, mind, and spirit, you create a holistic foundation for true wellness. Faith plays an essential role, reminding you that every challenge, including PCOS, has a purpose. It is through faith that you realize your worth is not defined by your symptoms but by your inherent strength and resilience. By practicing self-care, nourishing your body, and seeking support, you will not only improve your physical health but also foster a deeper connection to your true self. In doing so, you’ll be better equipped to inspire others on their healing journeys, turning your challenges into opportunities for growth and transformation. So, as you continue on your healing journey, remember: You are more than your diagnosis. Your story is far from over, it’s just the beginning. Call to action If you are on a healing journey and looking for ways to support your confidence and self-care routine, consider incorporating intentional hair and scalp care into your wellness lifestyle. Stay connected for upcoming purpose-driven hair care products created to support women on their healing journey. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Kate Thurman Kate Thurman, Faith-Based Wellness Advocate Kate Thurman is an author, entrepreneur, and media personality dedicated to helping individuals discover their God-given purpose and walk confidently in leadership. She is the founder of multiple faith-based initiatives and uses media, teaching, and mentorship to inspire spiritual growth, personal development, and kingdom-minded entrepreneurship.

Written by Justin C. Harvey, Piezo Brand Dr. Justin C. Harvey is a business owner, author, and visionary thinker dedicated to advancing human potential. He is the founder of Piezo, a premium athleisure brand, and the author of The Tao of Forward, 40 Ways to One, and Toxic Polarity. There is a quiet misconception embedded in modern thinking that pressure is inherently negative, something to be avoided, minimized, or escaped. Entire systems have been designed to reduce it, soften it, or shield individuals from its effects. Comfort has been elevated to a primary objective, and ease is mistaken for progress. But this interpretation is fundamentally flawed. Pressure is not a burden. It is a signal. More precisely, it is an indicator of expectation, responsibility, and potential. It is not randomly assigned, nor is it universally distributed. Pressure tends to accumulate around individuals who are capable of carrying more, even if they have not yet fully realized that capacity. To experience pressure, then, is not simply to be strained, it is to be entrusted. The problem is not pressure itself, but the way it is interpreted. For many, pressure manifests as stress because there is no internal structure to process it. Without discipline, pressure feels chaotic. Without clarity, it feels overwhelming. Without purpose, it feels arbitrary. In that state, the natural response is retreat. Expectations are lowered, standards are relaxed, and responsibility is avoided, not because individuals lack ambition, but because they lack the framework to engage with intensity productively. Yet pressure, properly understood, serves a far more valuable function. It reveals. It exposes the distance between identity and execution. It strips away illusion and forces alignment between what one claims to be and what one consistently does. Under pressure, ambiguity disappears. Focus becomes non-negotiable, discipline becomes necessary, and execution becomes immediate. It is an environment that does not tolerate pretense. This is precisely why it is avoided. Pressure is unavoidably honest. It does not allow for delay masked as preparation or intention disguised as progress. It demands evidence. And in doing so, it becomes one of the most effective mechanisms for personal and professional refinement. It is also one of the most efficient. Pressure accelerates transformation. It compresses time and forces prioritization. Decisions that might otherwise take weeks are made in hours. Distractions that once seemed compelling lose relevance. Energy is redirected toward what is essential because it must be. In this way, pressure converts potential into output. Without it, much of what individuals are capable of remains theoretical, unexpressed, untested, and ultimately unrealized. This is why comfort, though widely pursued, is far more dangerous than pressure.   Comfort creates the illusion of stability while quietly enabling stagnation. In the absence of pressure, standards begin to drift. Urgency dissolves. Focus fragments. There is no immediate consequence for inaction, and so progress becomes optional. Over time, this leads not to sustained performance but to gradual decline. Not through failure, but through inertia. Pressure, by contrast, enforces movement. It demands engagement. It creates an environment in which growth is not aspirational, but required. The distinction between those who are diminished by pressure and those who are elevated by it is not found in their external circumstances, but in their internal framework. One interprets pressure as an imposition, a threat to stability, an unfair burden. The other recognizes it as a proving ground, an opportunity to expand capacity, and a signal that more is possible. The conditions are often identical. The response is what differs. That response is determined by discipline. Discipline is the mechanism that allows pressure to be organized rather than endured. It provides structure in moments of intensity. It enables clarity when conditions become compressed. Without discipline, pressure destabilizes. With it, pressure sharpens. It transforms what could be overwhelming into something directional, something that can be acted upon with precision. This is where most individuals fall short. They do not fail because they are incapable, but because they have not developed the systems required to handle what they are being given. As a result, they misinterpret pressure as evidence that something is wrong, rather than recognizing it as evidence that something more is being asked of them. A more useful question, then, is not “Why is this happening?” but “What does this demand?” This shift in perspective is subtle, but decisive. It moves the individual from resistance to engagement, from avoidance to ownership. It reframes pressure not as something to survive, but as something to utilize. At the highest levels of performance, pressure is not an occasional occurrence. It is the baseline condition. Those who operate effectively in that environment are not those who have eliminated pressure from their lives, but those who have learned to function within it with consistency and control. They do not seek relief from pressure. They develop the capacity to command it. And in doing so, they separate themselves from those who spend their time attempting to escape the very force that could have elevated them. Pressure is not a burden. It is the privilege of being capable of more. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Justin C. Harvey Justin C. Harvey, Piezo Brand Dr. Justin C. Harvey is an entrepreneur, author, and thought leader at the intersection of performance, mindset, and modern lifestyle. As the founder of Piezo, a high-end athleisure brand engineered for discipline, movement, and elevated living, he is building more than apparel—he is shaping a mindset. His books The Tao of Forward, 40 Ways to One, and Toxic Polarity reflect his philosophy on personal evolution and societal progress. Backed by advanced degrees in business and psychology, his insights blend academic depth with real-world application. He empowers readers to think bigger, act sharper, and live with intention.

Written by Helen Kenworthy, Artistic Director Helen champions the arts as a tool for change. Now, as CEO of RYTC Creatives CIC and Give Get Go Education, she mentors young people, creates pathways for them to thrive in the arts, and helps launch successful careers. The words children hear often become the words they use to understand themselves. For some children, the hardest part of the day is not being in school or taking part in a lesson. It is everything that comes before it, getting ready, leaving the house, and walking into a room where expectations feel unclear or too high. By the time they sit down to learn, they are already trying to manage a level of overwhelm that is not always visible to the people around them. For many children, the day has already felt like too much before it has even properly begun. Anxiety in children does not always look the way we expect. It is not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it shows up as hesitation, silence, taking longer than others, or avoiding something that once felt manageable. It can look like a lack of effort, when in reality, the child is already putting in more effort than we realize. Because what we see on the outside is often only a small part of what is happening internally. Many anxious children are constantly thinking ahead, worrying about what might go wrong, or trying to keep up with an environment that feels too fast or unpredictable. Even simple tasks can begin to feel heavier when the mind is already full. In these moments, the words children hear matter more than we think. Not just instructions or corrections, but the small, everyday phrases that shape how safe they feel, how they see themselves, and whether they believe they can keep going. Over time, these words become part of the child’s inner voice. In this article, we explore what anxiety can look like beneath the surface, why language plays such an important role in shaping a child’s experience, and the simple but powerful things anxious children need to hear more often to help them feel safe, supported, and able to engage. Signs of an anxious child Often, the signs are there, but they are not always understood for what they are. Anxiety does not always announce itself clearly. It often appears through behaviour that can easily be misunderstood. They may be seen as misbehaviour, lack of effort, or something that needs correcting, rather than a sign that the child may be feeling anxious. Here are some of the ways anxiety can show up: Taking longer to start a task, even when they understand it Saying “I don’t know” or “I can’t” quickly, before trying Avoiding certain lessons, activities, or situations Becoming very quiet or withdrawn in group settings Getting easily overwhelmed by instructions or busy environments Wanting reassurance often, even for things they can usually do Getting upset over small things, especially when already under pressure Complaining of feeling unwell, especially before school or specific activities Struggling more during transitions, like moving between tasks or spaces These are not signs of a child choosing not to engage. They are often signs of a child trying to cope with something that feels too much in that moment. Ways to support an anxious child Supporting an anxious child involves a mix of different strategies, and the right words can make a real difference. But it is also important to consider the bigger picture: their environment, how tasks are presented, and how supported they feel in everyday moments. These strategies are not about fixing the child. They are about adjusting the environment and the way support is offered so the child can feel safe enough to engage. Here are some simple ways to help: Use calm, reassuring language Create predictable routines Break tasks into smaller steps Focus on effort rather than perfection Stay present and patient Give permission to pause Reduce pressure around getting things right Offer a calm, quiet space when needed Keep instructions clear and manageable Allow time for the child to process Notice and respond to early signs of overwhelm Keep expectations realistic and flexible These may seem like small things, but when they are used consistently, they can make a real difference in how a child feels and responds. The impact of ignoring the words children need to hear When children do not hear the kind of words that help them feel safe and supported, everyday moments can feel harder than they need to be. Things that once felt manageable may begin to feel overwhelming. Starting a task can take longer. Small mistakes can feel much bigger than they are. A capable child may begin to hesitate more, not because they cannot do it, but because they are unsure how it will go. Over time, this begins to show in small ways. A child may start to hold back. They may avoid certain situations, take longer to respond, or rely more on reassurance. You may hear “I can’t” more often, even in situations they have managed before. It is not always a sudden change. It builds slowly, in everyday moments where a child begins to feel less sure of themselves. When the language around them does not help to ease that feeling, it can stay with them, shaping how they approach learning, challenges, and themselves. This is why the words we use matter. They shape how a child responds in those moments, whether they feel able to try or whether it feels safer to step back. The right words do not remove difficulty, but they can make it feel manageable. And that can make a real difference in how a child moves forward. Consistency is what makes words work Supportive words do not make a difference when they are only heard occasionally. For a child, it is not just about hearing the right thing once, but hearing it often enough for it to feel true and reliable. A child may be told to take their time, yet still feel rushed in the next moment. At times they may feel reassured, and at other times feel pressure again. Over time, this inconsistency makes it harder for the child to trust or hold onto those words. Instead of becoming something steady, the message begins to feel uncertain. A child may start to second-guess themselves more or rely less on reassurance because it does not always feel consistent. For many anxious children, it is not one moment that makes the difference, but repetition over time. When the same kind of language is used consistently, it begins to feel familiar and safe. It becomes something the child can rely on, even when things feel difficult. And gradually, those words do more than support the moment. They begin to shape how the child speaks to themselves. The role of educators, families, and communities The words children hear do not come from a single source. They come from home, from school, and from the people they interact with every day. Each of these environments plays a part in shaping how a child feels and how they begin to see themselves. Educators often see how children respond in learning environments. The way instructions are given, the tone used, and the language around mistakes and effort can all influence whether a child feels safe enough to engage. Families shape what is heard most consistently. The everyday conversations, the reassurance given, and the way challenges are spoken about all contribute to how a child understands themselves and what they believe they are capable of. Communities also matter. When children are in environments where the language around them is patient, supportive, and understanding, it reinforces the same message in different spaces. For a child, these are not separate spaces. They are one experience. What makes the biggest difference is not just what is said, but how consistent that message is across these environments. When a child hears the same kind of supportive language across these spaces, it becomes something they can rely on. It begins to feel steady, not uncertain. And over time, that consistency helps the child feel safer, more confident, and more able to take part. When these environments align, support becomes something the child can trust, not something they have to question. What anxious children need to hear more often These are not just words children hear. Over time, they become the words children use to talk to themselves. They begin to shape how a child responds, not just in the moment, but in how they begin to see themselves. These are not scripts to follow perfectly. They are simple, steady reminders that help children feel safe enough to keep going. Some of the words that make a difference include: 1. You are safe here: This helps the child’s body begin to settle and reduces the need to stay on alert. It creates a sense of safety that allows them to engage. 2. Take your time: It removes pressure and allows the child to think without feeling rushed. It shows them they do not have to keep up with anyone else. 3. You don’t have to get it right straight away: It reduces fear of failure and makes it easier to begin. It gives the child permission to try without pressure. 4. It’s okay to feel like this: It helps the child feel accepted rather than needing to hide their emotions. It reassures them that their feelings are not a problem. 5. We can take this one step at a time: It makes the task feel smaller and more manageable. It helps the child focus on what they can do now. 6. I’m here with you: It provides reassurance that they are not facing it alone. It helps the child feel supported in the moment. 7. You don’t have to do this alone: It reinforces support and shared responsibility. It reminds the child that help is available. 8. I can see you’re trying: It recognises effort, even when the outcome is not perfect. It helps build confidence through being seen. 9. It doesn’t have to be perfect: t reduces pressure and encourages participation. It allows the child to focus on progress instead of perfection. 10. Let’s just start with one small step: It helps the child move forward without feeling overwhelmed. It makes starting feel possible. 11. You can pause if you need to: It gives permission to regulate rather than push through stress. It helps the child reset without feeling like they are failing. 12. We’ll go at your pace: It respects the child’s rhythm and reduces comparison. It shows that their way of working is valid. 13. We can figure this out together: It builds trust and confidence in problem-solving. It helps the child feel capable with support. These are simple words, but when used consistently, they help a child feel safer, better understood, and more able to keep going. Over time, they begin to shape how a child responds, not just in the moment, but also in how they see themselves. Conclusion Anxious children are not choosing to struggle; they are often navigating situations that feel overwhelming and difficult to manage all at once. The words they hear in those moments can make a meaningful difference. It’s not about saying the perfect thing, but about using the right words consistently, words that help a child feel safe, understood, and capable of moving forward. Over time, these words do more than support a single moment. They begin to shape how a child responds to challenges, how they see themselves, and what they believe is possible. And often, the smallest phrases are the ones that stay. So, what are the words you use to support children in these moments? What small phrases have made a difference for you? Share them in the comments, your words may be exactly what someone else needs to hear today. If you would like practical ways to support children with confidence, emotional regulation, and learning, you can explore a free resource here . Creative Pathway methodology: Of Course You Can!™ serving the brilliantly underestimated.   Follow me on  Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Helen Kenworthy Helen Kenworthy, Artistic Director Helen Kenworthy’s career embodies the transformative power of the arts, from her early roles in the prestigious West End with Bill Kenwright to her impactful work in regional theatre. As manager of the Oxfordshire Youth Arts Partnership, she created pathways for young people to thrive in the arts, with many going on to successful careers. Now at RYTC Creatives CIC and Give Get Go Education, Helen continues to inspire and mentor the next generation of theatre-makers and community leaders, offering invaluable opportunities for growth and professional development.

Written by Aaron Eschenburg, Ayahuascero and Astrotheologer Aaron Eschenburg is an Ayahuascero and Astrotheologer. He is the Founder and creator of Ancestral Herbs, a natural plant medicine company, and MiTranscendance Entheo Religious Society. The Amazon rainforest is home to some of the world's most potent healing plants, many of which have been used for centuries by indigenous tribes for their medicinal properties. In this article, we explore seven powerful Amazonian plants that can transform your health. From boosting brain function to healing joint pain, these plants offer natural alternatives to conventional medicine. Discover the benefits of micro-dosing these plants and how they can support your physical and mental well-being. 1.   Banisteriopsis caapi   The brain-cell builder Banisteriopsis caapi . Also known as the Ayahuasca vine, but not to be confused with the ceremonial brew. This vine acts like a temporary roadblock in your brain, stopping it from breaking down your natural "feel-good" chemicals like serotonin and dopamine. It naturally tapers off the flow to a slower, steadier “drip”. Because these chemicals stick around longer, your brain operates at a higher, more stable baseline. It offers many of the benefits of prescription SSRIs, as well as microdosing psilocybin mushrooms, with fewer harmful side effects.   Benefits of micro-dosing:   Forces your brain to grow brand-new cells, specifically in the memory center. Stabilizes your mood into a steady, grounded state. Reduces dangerous swelling and inflammation inside the brain. Sharpens your focus and helps you lock in new information. Acts as a natural anti-anxiety and antidepressant.   2. Bobinsana The blood-flow booster Bobinsana,   the heart-opening plant of the Amazon, is revered as an emotional support supplement that helps ease arthritis pain. This plant acts as a natural painkiller and blood vessel opener. Unlike caffeine, which stresses out your adrenal glands to give you energy, this plant gives you energy by simply making your heart and blood vessels work more efficiently. A happy heart is a happy mind and body.   Benefits of micro-dosing:   Widens blood vessels so your muscles and organs get more oxygen. Turns down the volume on your body's stress hormones. Forces tight, locked-up skeletal muscles to finally relax. Gives you physical energy without a jittery crash later. Eases arthritis and greases up stiff joints so you can move without pain.   3. Chuchuhuasi The muscle and joint mechanics Chuchuhuasi . This is a heavy-duty physical reset button. It chemically interrupts the signals your body sends when it is in chronic pain, while simultaneously stopping the specific proteins that cause massive swelling and tissue damage. In the jungle, it’s known as “trembling back”, and the plant to work with when you’re in pain. This is a go-to natural remedy for any physical labor jobs that cause body aches.   Benefits of micro-dosing:   Cuts the wire on long-term, chronic pain signals. Melts away deep tension in your muscles and connective tissue Radically speeds up how fast your body repairs itself after hard physical work. Stops your immune system from attacking your own joints. Recharges your baseline physical stamina from the ground up.   4. Uncaria tomentosa (Cat's Claw) The immune system upgrader Uncaria tomentosa (Cat's Claw) . This vine is a biological construction crew and pharmacy within itself. It is packed with compounds that do two things perfectly: they hunt down and fix broken DNA strands, and they build up your white blood cells so your immune system functions like armor. It is truly nature’s natural remedy.   Benefits of micro-dosing:   Literally glues broken DNA back together. Multiplies the cells in your body that eat foreign invaders. Flips the master switch that turns off body-wide inflammation. Shields your red blood cells from being destroyed by toxins. Patches up the holes in your stomach and gut lining.   5. Piñón Blanco The deep-tissue scrub brush Piñón Blanco .   This plant is a highly concentrated biological purge. In the jungle, it is the energy of the great white light, and is literally used as a purgative in highly concentrated tea doses to clean the gut and intestines. Because its raw form is toxic, highly diluted extractions act as a rapid metabolic spark plug, targeting and destroying the fat cell walls of bad bacteria and fungus hiding in your system.   Benefits of micro-dosing:   Wipes out stubborn, hidden fungal and bacterial infections. Speeds up your body's natural trash-removal system. Forces your skin to heal and replace dead cells faster. Reboots your digestion so food moves at the right speed for your body. Triggers a fast, aggressive defense against viruses you didn't know you had. 6. Piñón Colorado The blood filter dream catcher Piñón Colorado :   A direct relative of Blanco, this plant focuses entirely on your bloodstream. It acts like a sponge, soaking up garbage and toxins in your blood while simultaneously coating your blood vessels so viruses cannot attach to them. It is also known as a sleep aid, allowing for a deep rest without a groggy wake-up. Tapping into the dream world to pull visions and song into the physical world.   Benefits of micro-dosing:   Disarms toxins floating in your blood before they damage your arteries. Acts as an assistant to your liver, helping it filter out trash. Stops invading viruses from making copies of themselves Rapidly brings down swelling from localized injuries. Natural sleep aid that boosts dream activity.   7. Uvos Colorado The cellular shield and calmer Uvos Colorado .   This tree bark is loaded with compounds that act like a biological astringent, meaning it physically tightens your tissues to make it impossible for pathogens to slip through. At the same time, it sends chemical signals to your nervous system to chill out. Throughout its history, it has been used to ease muscle spasms and help ease menstrual cramps and menopausal pains.   Benefits of micro-dosing:   Builds a chemical wall around your cells so viruses bounce off. Stops painful muscle spasms in your stomach and reproductive organs. Puts a protective coating over your brain cells to prevent wear and tear. Ǫuiets down the physical symptoms of anxiety in your body. Toughens up the protective linings of your internal organs.   Thankfully, our friends at   Ancestral Herbs  work directly in the jungle, making these old-world medicines available for us today. A fresh, natural way to heal is reemerging through the petrochemical pharmaceutical industry that is intended to keep us sick. Nature gives us all we need. Follow me on Instagram for more info! Read more from Aaron Eschenburg Aaron Eschenburg, Ayahuascero, Astrotheologer Aaron Eschenburg is an Ayahuasca Shaman and creator of the natural plant medicine company Ancestral Herbs. Being hit by a drunk driver at 21 spiraled him into a journey of exploring alternative medicines to get away from the side effects of pharmaceuticals. Astrotheology and plant medicines then came into his life at the same time, creating a better understanding of humanity's relationship with our living planet, solar system, and the universe. He now dedicates his life to helping others explore the options of natural healing, entheogenic practices, and embracing the Aquarian Age.