Written by Maurice Smith, CTIE, Regenerative Travel & Hospitality Strategist Maurice Smith, CTIE, is a hospitality and travel strategist focused on regenerative tourism, place-based guest experience, cultural hospitality, and restorative approaches to travel. His insight has been sought by national travel, business, and consumer media outlets for perspective on luxury travel trends, destination value, sustainability, and evolving traveler expectations. Boutique hotels can offer more than beautiful rooms, thoughtful design, and personalized service, they can create experiences that stay with travelers long after they leave. Through stays at four distinctive properties in Mexico, this article explores how intimacy, place, freedom, and emotion can shape hospitality in ways that no amenity list can fully capture. What was behind the door One of the things I remember most about La Valise San Miguel de Allende happened before I had even seen our room. From the cobblestone street, the hotel gives away very little. There is a large wooden door set into a relatively restrained facade, the kind of entrance you can appreciate without having any idea what sits behind it. Once the door opens, the street almost disappears. Inside is a courtyard with water, trees, art, and a small collection of suites arranged around it, and it feels less like entering a hotel lobby than being invited into someone's private residence. I have always loved that quality about San Miguel de Allende because so much of the city reveals itself gradually. A building can appear simple from the street while hiding gardens, courtyards, and interiors you never could have anticipated from outside. La Valise seemed to understand that rhythm rather than simply borrow the city's visual language. The hotel has only six individually designed rooms and suites, which gives each space room to develop its own character. Art and unusual design details appear throughout, but the strongest impression for me was the intimacy of the whole thing. The hotel felt completely comfortable being small. What made the stay even more interesting was that we had arrived in San Miguel after staying at La Valise Mexico City. The two hotels belong to the same hospitality family, yet moving from one to the other never felt like repeating an experience. That contrast started me thinking about something I had probably taken for granted for years: a hotel brand can be recognizable without making every property feel the same. Same philosophy, different city La Valise Mexico City works because it responds to a completely different rhythm. The hotel sits in Roma Norte, one of my favorite neighborhoods in Mexico City, inside a historic townhouse setting that feels closer to a private apartment than a conventional hotel. A house manager helps create that feeling, while the suites have their own personalities and the interiors feel collected rather than replicated. Once you step outside, Roma Norte takes over almost immediately. Coffee shops, small restaurants, galleries, and neighborhood activity become part of the day, which is especially important in a city with as much energy as Mexico City. It is dense and contemporary while remaining deeply connected to art, food, and culture. One day can move from a museum or park to an ambitious dinner and a night of lucha libre without any of it feeling disconnected. La Valise did not try to compete with all of that. It gave us somewhere quiet to return to while allowing the city to remain the reason we were there. San Miguel offered almost the opposite sensation, with the courtyard and the quieter pace becoming part of the pleasure of slowing down. Experiencing the two hotels during the same journey made their relationship much clearer to me. What they shared was not a repeated design formula. The consistency was in the confidence to let each building and each city determine what the stay should become. Hospitality brands do not always work that way because sameness can be easier to manage and easier for a guest to understand. There is comfort in knowing roughly what a room, arrival, or service style will look like from one destination to another, but there is also value in allowing a hotel to behave differently because its surroundings are different. Smaller hotels often have more freedom to make that choice. They can preserve details that may be difficult to standardize and allow the character of a building or neighborhood to influence the operation itself. That freedom becomes especially interesting when the guest can still recognize a common philosophy across different properties without needing them to look or feel identical. A stay that asked us to participate El Perdido, in El Pescadero near Todos Santos, took that idea somewhere else entirely. I hesitate to describe it simply as a hotel because that is not quite how I remember staying there. The villas sit within the Baja desert, using earthen materials, wood, and open-air spaces that allow the architecture to feel settled into the surroundings instead of placed on top of them. The stay also involved us in ways I had not expected. When we arrived at our villa, avocado and other ingredients were waiting with instructions for making our own snack. There was a kitchen inside, and the garden gave guests another connection to what was being prepared and eaten. In the mornings, we could let the chef know what we wanted and join breakfast in the communal area, or make something ourselves. At no point did that feel like service had been taken away. We simply had choices about how involved we wanted to be, and that made the stay feel more personal rather than less attentive. It shifted us away from being passive recipients of hospitality and gave us a little more ownership of how we spent our time there. That continued once we began exploring beyond the hotel. During our stay, all-terrain vehicles gave us the freedom to get into the surrounding area without every outing becoming a scheduled excursion. One morning, the staff arranged a private beach day not far from the property, and getting there became part of the memory. We walked roughly a quarter mile through a small stretch of palms that appeared unexpectedly within the desert before reaching a secluded, swimmable beach with almost no one around. At one point, a family of wild horses appeared nearby. There was no way for the hotel to manufacture that moment when we booked the trip, which is probably part of why I still remember it so clearly. The desert became just as noticeable in the evenings, when the lack of light around us made the sky seem much larger, and the observation tower gave us somewhere to spend time with it. El Perdido created enough structure to make exploration easy and then gave us room to decide what to do with the time. That changed the way I thought about personalized service because personalization does not always mean adding another touchpoint. Sometimes it means knowing when to stop managing the guest's day and giving them enough freedom to make part of the stay their own. Arrival before check-in Habitas Bacalar made me reconsider another part of the hotel experience that is usually treated as functional: arrival. A large wooden gate opened from the road, separating what was outside from what waited within. We were taken farther into the property by golf cart and welcomed in an open-air gathering space with a traditional copal ceremony, and by the time we continued toward our accommodation, the trip already felt as though it had shifted. Bacalar can create that feeling even without a hotel trying very hard. The lagoon is unlike almost any body of water I have visited, with an appearance that changes throughout the day as light moves across it. You can sit in the same place for an hour and feel as though the view has changed several times. Our A-frame accommodation faced the lagoon, although some of my strongest memories came from the hours spent outside it. Breakfast near the dock became part of the morning rhythm. One afternoon, we took a private sailing trip across the lagoon, stopping to swim and spend time in the water rather than rushing from one destination to another. The hotel created opportunities for us, but the landscape carried most of the weight, and I appreciated that restraint. A destination like Bacalar does not need a hospitality concept competing with the reason people traveled there in the first place. What Habitas did well was create a framework around the lagoon and allow the environment to remain central. Even the arrival ritual contributed to that, not simply because it made check-in feel special, but because it created a transition from one pace into another before we ever reached the room. The things hotels cannot put on a comparison chart Looking back at these stays, I can describe the rooms, but that is rarely where the memory begins. Hotels are usually sold through things that can be compared, including room categories, square footage, views, restaurants, pools, and service levels. Those details matter because they answer practical questions and help travelers and travel professionals decide whether a property is the right fit. Memory is much less orderly. Opening a door in San Miguel and discovering an entire courtyard behind it may return before the details of the suite do. I can remember the feeling of having what seemed like our own apartment in Roma Norte, or the walk through the desert that eventually opened onto a nearly empty beach, more readily than I can recall the dimensions of any room. Those moments are difficult to represent on a booking page, yet they often become the parts of a hotel stay that survive the longest. That is where smaller hotels can have an advantage, although size does not automatically create intimacy. I have stayed at large hotels that delivered extraordinary hospitality and smaller ones that never developed much personality. The difference is not simply room count, but what a property is able and willing to protect as it defines the guest experience. Smaller operations often have more freedom to preserve very particular choices. An old building can retain some of its quirks, staff can adjust more naturally to how guests are actually using the space, and a garden can influence breakfast without being turned into a formal culinary concept. The surrounding neighborhood or landscape can also carry part of the experience without needing to be packaged as another amenity. That freedom matters even more now because beautiful hotel design has become much easier to reproduce. Travelers can find expensive finishes, dramatic bathrooms, and photogenic restaurants around the world, while social media allows visual ideas to circulate faster than ever. A design concept that once felt distinctive can become familiar quickly, which makes personality far harder to copy than aesthetics. The two La Valise hotels made that especially clear to me. Mexico City never needed to feel like San Miguel for the brand connection to make sense, because their relationship came from the thinking behind the hotels rather than an insistence on making the physical product identical. For hoteliers, that raises an interesting question about whether adding another feature actually improves the stay or simply makes the amenity list longer. Travel professionals have a similar decision to make when recommending these properties. An amenity list can tell us whether a hotel satisfies a client's practical needs, but it cannot fully explain who will connect with the way that hotel operates. That requires understanding the kind of stay the property is trying to create, something travelers often discover only after they arrive. Emotion is part of the product The more I think about these four hotels, the less convinced I am that boutique hospitality's real advantage is simply being small. Scale matters operationally, but what interests me more is what certain hotels are able to protect because of it. Each of these properties seemed comfortable deciding what deserved emphasis and what could remain quiet, without trying to make every part of the stay compete for the guest's attention. La Valise Mexico City leaned into the energy outside its front door, while San Miguel allowed the architecture of a private villa to create a sense of discovery. El Perdido gave us more freedom than programming, and Habitas Bacalar allowed the lagoon to influence much of the pace. Those feelings were different from one another, but none of them felt accidental. That is why I hesitate when emotion in hospitality is treated as something intangible or separate from the product. How a guest feels is influenced by practical decisions about arrival, service, architecture, pacing, and how much freedom remains once the essentials have been taken care of. The result may be emotional, but the work behind it is operational, which makes feeling every bit as much a part of the hotel product as the things we can count or photograph. Boutique hotels may be able to protect those decisions more easily because there are fewer layers between the original idea and the person staying there. The larger lesson, however, is not that every hotel should behave like a six-suite hideaway. It is that every hotel should know what kind of stay it is trying to create and make enough deliberate choices for the guest to actually feel it. The hotels I return to in my mind are the ones that knew what they wanted me to feel and trusted that feeling to be enough. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Maurice Smith, CTIE Maurice Smith, CTIE, Regenerative Travel & Hospitality Strategist Maurice Smith, CTIE, is a hospitality strategist, writer, and advisor whose work sits at the intersection of regenerative tourism, place-based guest experience, cultural hospitality, and restoration-centered leadership. His perspective is shaped by a belief that the future of travel will be defined not only by access, amenities, or aesthetics, but by meaning: how a journey connects people to culture, community, ecology, memory, and place. Recognized by leading travel publications and industry platforms, Maurice has built a career around luxury travel, destination expertise, sustainability, and purpose-driven hospitality. Through his writing and advisory work, he focuses on the future of travel as a more responsible, meaningful, and culturally connected industry.

What happens when a person leaves behind financial security to pursue a vision, only to find themselves facing some of the most difficult circumstances of their life? For Elhadji Kouyate, Founder and CEO of Kouyaro International Partners Ltd, the answer has been to keep building. From professional success and personal setbacks to an ambitious vision spanning international commerce, sustainable technology and strategic partnerships, his journey is a story of resilience, self-belief and the determination to create something that outlasts him. Inspired by the history associated with the Kouyaté name and the legacy of the Mali Empire, Elhadji reflects on the lessons that have shaped him, the realities behind entrepreneurship and why he believes our greatest setbacks do not have to determine our future. Elhadji Kouyate, International Entrepreneur, Business Strategist & Founder of Kouyaro International Partners Ltd Can you tell us about yourself and the journey that led you to establish Kouyaro International Partners Ltd? I have always been interested in opportunities, relationships and the potential that emerges when the right people come together. Before establishing Kouyaro International Partners Ltd, I developed my experience in business development, finance and commercial relationships. I learned how to identify opportunities, understand what businesses needed and connect people who could create value together. Over time, I realised that one of my greatest strengths was not necessarily owning every product or delivering every service myself. It was recognising where opportunities existed and understanding who needed to speak to whom to make them possible. That became the foundation of Kouyaro, an international commercial consultancy focused on facilitating introductions and developing strategic partnerships across sectors including energy, commodities and sustainable infrastructure. However, my journey has not followed the straightforward path I once imagined. I have experienced professional uncertainty, financial hardship and personal challenges that have tested my confidence. Building a business while navigating those circumstances has taught me more about resilience than success alone ever could. “I am not building Kouyaro simply to become successful. I want to build something that creates opportunities for others and makes a meaningful difference beyond my own life.” For me, entrepreneurship is not just about reaching a destination. It is about discovering what you are capable of becoming along the way. You have spoken about self-sabotage and a lesson you learned from a mentor. What changed for you? One of the most important lessons I have learned came from a mentor who helped me recognise how easily we can sabotage our own potential. We sometimes become our own greatest obstacle, not because we lack ability, but because we allow fear, doubt and our circumstances to convince us that we cannot achieve something greater. Self-sabotage is not always obvious. It can be procrastination, waiting until everything is perfect, talking ourselves out of opportunities or repeatedly questioning whether we are good enough. Sometimes, it is choosing the familiar because the unfamiliar feels frightening. That lesson made me reflect on how often people unconsciously place limits on themselves. We look at our present circumstances and mistake them for a prediction of our future. I began to understand that belief is not a substitute for action, but it can determine whether we take the first step at all. You can possess talent, intelligence and ambition, but if you continually convince yourself that you are incapable, you may never discover what you could have achieved. “Do not become the person who stands in the way of your own potential. Your circumstances may limit your options today, but they do not have to define your ambitions for tomorrow.” I still have to apply that lesson to my own life. It is not about pretending everything is possible overnight. It is about refusing to let fear make decisions that should belong to you. You left a secure, well-paid career to pursue your vision. What has that decision really cost you, and what has it taught you? This is probably the most personal part of my journey. Leaving a secure, well-paid career to pursue entrepreneurship meant stepping away from a level of financial stability that many people understandably work hard to achieve. I believed in the possibility of building something of my own, but I could not have predicted every challenge that would follow. Since then, I have experienced financial instability, a relationship breakdown and housing insecurity. I have had to navigate some very difficult personal circumstances while continuing to develop Kouyaro. There is a significant difference between speaking about ambition and trying to maintain that ambition when you are uncertain about your own immediate circumstances. I do not share this to romanticise hardship. Financial insecurity is exhausting, and entrepreneurship does not automatically reward persistence. There have been difficult moments when the future I envisioned has felt far removed from the reality in front of me. But I have also learned that a difficult season does not have to become your identity. I cannot change every decision I have made, but I can take responsibility for what I do next. “There is a difference between being in a difficult position and believing you are destined to remain there.” I am still working towards the life and business I envision. I have not reached the destination, and I will not pretend otherwise. But I would rather confront the reality of my circumstances and keep working to improve them than allow temporary hardship to convince me that my future is already decided. Your family history connects you to the heritage of the Mali Empire. How has that influenced your identity and ambitions? My family history gives me a sense of connection to something much bigger than my individual ambitions. The Kouyaté name is associated with the griot tradition of West Africa, including historical accounts of Balla Fasséké Kouyaté, the celebrated griot and adviser associated with Sundiata Keita and the founding of the Mali Empire. What resonates with me is the significance of that tradition. Griots preserved history, knowledge, relationships, and stories across generations. Their role was not simply to speak, but to remember, advise, and connect people to a wider understanding of who they were and where they came from. I see a meaningful parallel with the work I am pursuing today. Kouyaro is built around relationships, introductions, and bringing different parties together to explore opportunities. I am not comparing my work directly with the responsibilities of historical griots, but the broader idea of creating value through knowledge and connections is something I find inspiring. The history of the Mali Empire, including the legacy of Mansa Musa, also reminds me that African history contains extraordinary examples of commerce, learning and international exchange. “Your heritage can give you a sense of direction, but it is your own actions that determine what you contribute to the world.” I do not see my family history as an achievement I can claim for myself. I see it as inspiration to build something of my own, honour the values that matter to me and leave a positive legacy for the generations that follow. What is Kouyaro International Partners Ltd, and what are you ultimately trying to achieve through it? Kouyaro International Partners Ltd is an international commercial consultancy focused on connecting businesses, technology providers, buyers and strategic partners. Our model is based on identifying opportunities, facilitating introductions and helping the relevant parties explore potential commercial relationships. We are developing opportunities across several areas: waste-to-energy technology, tyre-to-fuel technology, fuel and commodities, solar and smart-city infrastructure, and strategic partnerships involving investors and family offices. The common thread is that valuable opportunities often require several different capabilities. One organisation may have the technology, another may have access to a site, another may have the necessary feedstock, and another may be able to provide funding. Bringing those parties together can help them investigate whether a viable project exists. Our role is to facilitate those relationships, not to pretend that every opportunity is already a completed project. Credibility depends on proper due diligence, clear agreements, realistic expectations and transparency about the responsibilities of each party. My ambition is to establish Kouyaro as a trusted international platform capable of helping significant commercial opportunities progress across borders and industries. “You do not have to own every piece of the puzzle to help create the bigger picture. You need to understand how the pieces fit together and bring the right people to the table.” Ultimately, I want the company to be judged by the quality of its relationships, the integrity of its work and the tangible outcomes it helps facilitate. You believe waste could become the new gold. Why do you think this is such an overlooked opportunity? One of the areas I am particularly passionate about is changing how we think about waste. We often view it as something that must be collected, transported and disposed of, without fully considering whether some of that material could be recovered and turned into useful resources. Through Kouyaro, I am developing relationships around waste-to-energy and tyre-to-fuel technologies. Depending on the process, suitable feedstocks and operating conditions, these technologies may produce energy, recovered fuels or other useful outputs. The commercial question is whether those outputs can be generated safely, responsibly and at a viable cost. For waste management companies, industrial operators and local authorities, the opportunity is worth investigating. A material that currently creates a disposal cost may, under the right conditions, become part of a resource-recovery model. Projects may also support employment, infrastructure investment and more circular approaches to resource use. However, I believe environmental ambition must be supported by evidence. Not every waste stream is suitable for every technology, and no project should be considered environmentally beneficial without examining its emissions, lifecycle impacts, regulatory requirements and financial viability. “What if the material we pay to get rid of today becomes one of the resources we learn to value tomorrow?” That is the question driving my interest. I want to help bring together the expertise and partnerships needed to investigate genuine opportunities, rather than simply sell people an exciting idea. What has been the biggest challenge in building Kouyaro, and what have you learned about success? One of the biggest challenges has been turning ambition and relationships into tangible commercial progress. It is relatively easy to recognise an opportunity or have an exciting conversation. It is much harder to establish the right partnerships, complete due diligence, agree commercial terms and move towards implementation. Over the years, I have developed a network of more than 3,000 contacts. That network has given me opportunities to connect with people across industries and explore different commercial possibilities. But I have learned that the size of a network is not the same as the value it creates. Relationships become valuable through trust, relevance and follow-through. A promising introduction needs a clear purpose, credible information and an understanding of what each party expects. The same principle applies to building a company: a compelling vision must eventually be supported by consistent execution. The personal side has been equally challenging. It is difficult to maintain confidence in your long-term ambitions when you are managing immediate financial and personal pressures. Those experiences have forced me to become more disciplined about prioritising opportunities and distinguishing genuine progress from the excitement of possibility. “A network may open the door, but credibility, preparation and consistent follow-through determine what happens next.” I am learning to focus less on how impressive an opportunity sounds and more on whether it can realistically be delivered. That shift has helped me approach entrepreneurship with greater maturity. What would you say to someone who is struggling, feels behind in life or is afraid to pursue a bigger ambition? First, I would tell them that their current circumstances are not a complete measure of their potential. It is easy to look at where other people are in life and feel that you have fallen behind. But we rarely know the full story behind somebody else's success, and comparing your most difficult moments with another person's highlights is rarely helpful. Second, I would encourage them to turn their ambitions into practical actions. Belief matters, but belief becomes powerful when it changes what you do. Learn the skills you need, speak to people who can challenge your thinking, understand the risks involved and break your goals into manageable steps. I would also remind them that asking for help is not a weakness. There is no shame in using available support while working to improve your circumstances. Nor is there shame in changing direction when a plan is not working. Persistence is important, but so is the ability to learn and adapt. My own experience has taught me that progress is not always visible from the outside. Sometimes, progress means rebuilding your confidence, becoming more disciplined or making a better decision than you made the day before. “You do not need to have your entire future figured out. You need the courage to take the next sensible step, even when you cannot yet see the whole road.” Do not build your life solely to prove other people wrong. Build it because the future you want is worth working towards, and because you deserve to give yourself a genuine opportunity to discover what you can achieve. When you look towards the future, what legacy do you hope to leave through Kouyaro International Partners? My ambition is for Kouyaro International Partners Ltd to become a trusted international business that helps meaningful commercial opportunities become reality. I want to develop partnerships across energy, commodities, sustainable infrastructure and other sectors where bringing the right organisations together can create practical value. In waste-to-energy and tyre-to-fuel, I want to help stakeholders explore technologies that could address waste-management challenges while producing useful outputs. In fuel and commodities, I want to facilitate credible relationships between buyers and suppliers. Across solar infrastructure and strategic partnerships, I want to help connect expertise, resources and opportunities across borders. But I do not measure the future solely by the size of the company or the revenue it generates. I want the business to create opportunities for other people, contribute to responsible economic development and demonstrate that relationships can be a powerful foundation for enterprise. My family history encourages me to think beyond my own lifetime. The struggles I have faced remind me that a legacy cannot be built on ambition alone. It requires integrity, discipline, accountability and the willingness to keep improving. I am conscious that Kouyaro is still developing. There is much to accomplish, and I understand that the vision must be supported by real results. “Success is not just what you build during your lifetime. It is what becomes possible for other people because you chose to build it.” If, years from now, Kouyaro has helped create meaningful projects, opened doors for people who might otherwise have been overlooked and contributed to solutions that benefit communities, I will consider that a worthwhile achievement. My story is still being written. I cannot promise exactly where it will lead, but I can choose how I approach the journey: with ambition, honesty, resilience and a willingness to learn. A final message from Elhadji Kouyate: If there is one thing I hope people take away from my journey, it is that a difficult chapter does not have to be the final chapter. You may lose financial security. You may experience disappointment. You may find yourself rebuilding at a point in life when you thought you would already have everything figured out. Those experiences can change you, but they do not have to destroy your sense of possibility. I am still building. I am still learning. I am still working towards the future I envision for myself and Kouyaro International Partners. I have no interest in pretending that the journey is easier than it is. I simply believe that our circumstances should encourage us to think carefully about our next steps, not convince us that we have no future worth pursuing. “Your starting point is part of your story. It does not have to be the limit of your story.” Keep learning. Build relationships with integrity. Be honest about your challenges. Take responsibility for your decisions, and keep moving towards something that matters to you. The future is never guaranteed. But we can choose to participate in shaping it. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Elhadji Kouyate

Written by Tiffany Meredith Lynch, Sum Faht Meditation & Emotional Wellness Coach Meet Tiffany Meredith Lynch, a certified meditation teacher, qigong instructor, traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) practitioner, and emotional wellness coach. With her extensive travels and deep immersion in ancient wisdom, spiritual teachings, and traditional Chinese medicine, she brings a transformative approach to holistic healing and personal growth. What Vedic astrology suggests about November’s political tensions and how we can feel calm in an unsettling world. November is going to be an emotionally charged month, particularly as the United States moves through the November 3 midterm elections. From a Vedic astrology perspective, several planetary movements suggest a period of heightened emotion, questions about leadership, and a renewed focus on what we can and cannot trust. One transit I’m watching closely is Mars moving toward the degree of the August 12 solar eclipse. In Vedic astrology, Mars is associated with action, conflict, anger, and the drive to defend what we believe is right. When Mars activates an eclipse degree, hidden themes developing beneath the surface demand our attention. In the astrology chart I use for the United States, the eclipse fell in Cancer in the eighth house, a house associated with hidden matters, scandals, deception, investigations, shared resources, and transformation. As the election unfolds, questions about cheating, political procedures, and public trust may become especially charged. People across the political spectrum may feel that something is unfair or that institutions are failing them. Astrology can offer a lens for reflection, but it cannot always tell us whether a particular allegation is true. Well, sometimes it can. In November, astrology shows that questions will arise about these election results. We will wonder about cheating, wrongdoing, and inappropriate behaviors. We must investigate the allegations with fairness and call for transparency on both sides of the aisle. Another shift comes as Jupiter enters Leo at the end of October, with Mars following around November 12. Ketu is also in Leo. Together, these placements may bring questions about leaders, authority, and power into sharper focus, not only in the United States but around the world. During this time, we will see a global shift in power. During this November election, I predict a very heated and volatile time. Yet we cannot let the emotions of the collective take away our inner peace. When we feel disappointed by leaders or uncertain about institutions, anger, fear, and grief can rise quickly. We may want to argue, defend our position, or persuade others to see what we see. Before reacting, pause. Take a breath. Notice what is happening in your body. Ask yourself what lies beneath the emotion: Do I feel betrayed? Am I afraid? What do I need in order to feel grounded? Our feelings deserve attention, but they do not have to dictate our response. Whatever November brings, our sense of steadiness doesn’t have to depend entirely on an election result or the choices of those in power. We can care deeply about our country and stay engaged while tending to our own emotional wellbeing and showing care for the people around us. When the news feels overwhelming, it’s okay to step away. Take a walk in nature. Sit quietly. Breathe. Return to what grounds you. Staying centered doesn’t mean looking away from the world, it helps you meet it with greater clarity, compassion, and courage. This is an extraordinary time to be alive. We’re watching longstanding systems shift, and with change comes the possibility of something better: a government built on honesty, accountability, and service to the people. But progress begins with seeing clearly. We must be willing to ask hard questions, confront wrongdoing where we find it, and seek the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Stay curious, stay informed, and keep your eyes open. Breathe and stay centered, my friend. Things are just getting started. If you enjoyed this article, please click here for a free session lasting 30 minutes. From my heart to yours, Tiffany. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Tiffany Meredith Lynch Tiffany Meredith Lynch, Sum Faht Meditation & Emotional Wellness Coach When you meet Tiffany, you encounter someone who has tackled life's toughest challenges head-on and gained a deep, transformative insight into authentic healing. Her spiritual journey, spanning several decades, has taken her across continents. She studied under esteemed teachers in Malaysia and Thailand, where she deepened her knowledge of meditation, breathwork, qigong, and traditional Chinese medicine. These invaluable experiences have enriched her ability to harness transformative techniques, empowering both herself and others to cultivate deep healing and rediscover the divine heart.

What happens when a woman builds a life that everyone admires, yet privately struggles to feel fulfilled? For Julie Vander Meulen, the answer lies in a pattern she calls Good Girl Syndrome: the tendency to measure our worth through achievement, approval, perfection, and how much we do for others. Drawing on her own experience, years of writing, and her work with ambitious women, Julie explores why success can coexist with profound inner suffering, how women can reconnect with themselves, and what becomes possible when they stop living by expectations they never consciously chose. Julie Vander Meulen, Empowerment Coach for Ambitious Women Part I – The woman behind the mission You have spent years exploring Good Girl Syndrome and helping ambitious women understand it. What first made you realize this was a problem worth dedicating your work to? It started with a personal realization: I was a good girl. At the time, I was a researcher in political science, and everyone seemed to be talking about imposter syndrome. I remember thinking, “No, that's not what I have. What I have is Good Girl Syndrome!” I initially used the term almost as a joke. When I started researching it, I discovered that a psychologist had already used the expression, but I couldn't find a developed framework that explained the experience I was trying to understand. I began documenting my own patterns. Then I noticed something: I was surrounded by highly educated, intelligent, ambitious women who were impressive in so many ways, yet many seemed to struggle with similar patterns. I realized it wasn't just me. What made this a mission, however, was recognizing the depth of the suffering. I experienced a period of chronic depression and anxiety when I felt completely lost in my own life. I was overworking, seeking approval, and pursuing a direction that didn't feel right to me. The person I presented to the world and the person I was experiencing internally felt very different. Not every woman experiences the same level of distress, but the suffering can be profound. From the outside, everything may look wonderful. You might see a successful professional, a loving partner, or someone who seems to have everything under control. You don't necessarily see the self-criticism, the pressure, or the way she speaks to herself when nobody is around. I believe people should not have to suffer silently. I also understand this particular struggle because I've lived it. That's what makes the work so meaningful to me. What did your own academic career teach you about the difference between achieving success and choosing a life that feels like your own? It taught me that success cannot simply be what other people admire. If your only definition of success is external achievement, you can end up making decisions that look impressive but feel terrible inside. You might spend years trying to please people whose approval shouldn't determine the direction of your life. Today, I define success through fulfillment. Am I moving in a direction that feels right to me? Can I be both more fully myself and the best version of myself? Do I enjoy what I'm doing? Does it make a difference in the world in a way that matters to me? Success doesn't have to be measured in achievements. It might mean building a business, becoming an exceptional parent to your children or pets, spending time with the people you love, writing poetry, or simply enjoying your life. There is no universal answer. The important thing is that we get to define success on our own terms. Why does your mission need to go beyond helping women become more confident? Because I don't think confidence is the real goal. I believe it often emerges naturally when we become more connected to ourselves. My work is about alignment: allowing ourselves to be who we truly are, internally and externally, and removing the restrictions we've imposed on ourselves. Ultimately, I would love to contribute to a cultural transformation in how women experience themselves and operate in the world. I want future generations of women to have more freedom to be themselves, rather than feeling they must look impressive on the outside while suffering silently within. Part II – Understanding Good Girl Syndrome For someone hearing the term Good Girl Syndrome for the first time, how would you explain it? Good Girl Syndrome is a pattern of disconnection from ourselves. We become so focused on what the world expects us to do, and on who we believe we should be, that we lose touch with our own needs, desires, and feelings. We stop listening to our internal compass. A woman can be kind, responsible, considerate, and ambitious without experiencing Good Girl Syndrome. Those qualities are not the problem. The question is whether she chooses them freely or feels compelled to embody them to remain lovable and worthy. For example, nurturing others can be a beautiful expression of love. But when we constantly care for others out of obligation, resentment, or fear of disappointing them, something changes. We may be trying to control our environment by making ourselves indispensable. Somewhere underneath, we may believe that if people need us enough, they will love us enough. At its heart, this pattern often involves a struggle with self-worth. We become extremely critical of our appearance, our achievements, our behavior, and the person we believe we should be. There is always another standard to meet. The work is to reconnect with ourselves, listen to our hearts, respect our bodies, and stop allowing the mind's endless list of shoulds to dictate every decision. How does a girl learn to become a good girl? We learn through what we see around us. We observe our mothers, grandmothers, and other women, and we absorb cultural expectations about how women should behave. Nurturing and caring for others are not the problem. I see those qualities as beautiful. The difficulty begins when we learn that we must always put others first, make everything look effortless, and never express the resentment or exhaustion we might feel. There is also a second element: perfectionism and control. Many high-achieving good girls want to be irreproachable. They want to be the best, do everything correctly, and avoid criticism. Beneath that drive is often a desire for certainty: if we do everything perfectly, perhaps we can guarantee that we will be loved. But this creates a painful equation. We begin to believe that our worth depends on what we do for others and how well we perform. Why is Good Girl Syndrome so difficult to recognize when these behaviors are often praised? Because the rewards can be immediate. A woman who constantly helps others may be praised for being wonderful, generous, reliable, and extraordinary. That praise can feel incredibly good, particularly when she struggles to feel worthy without external validation. At the same time, she may be trying to avoid criticism and disappointment. She is both seeking pleasure through approval and protecting herself from the pain of rejection. Changing the pattern means risking the loss of those familiar rewards. People might not understand her decisions. They might criticize her. She may no longer receive the same recognition for being endlessly available. In the short term, staying the same can feel safer. But over the long term, the cost can be enormous. Breaking free offers something different: greater self-trust, inner peace, and the ability to live according to your own values. You gain something profound, even if the transition is uncomfortable. Can a woman have Good Girl Syndrome if she is outspoken, successful, and comfortable taking charge? Absolutely. Many of the women I work with don't look like traditional people-pleasers at all. They lead teams, make difficult decisions, and appear to have everything under control. They are the women others wonder about: How does she manage to do so much? Yet they may advocate strongly for their teams while struggling to advocate for themselves. They can be decisive professionally but feel lost in their personal lives. Sometimes, the pattern becomes visible when something forces them to stop. They experience burnout, struggle with their mental or physical well-being, or face a challenge in their relationships. Eventually, they begin asking themselves whether they genuinely want the life they have built or whether they have become attached to the identity of being the woman who can do everything. Part III – The high achiever's hidden struggle How can Good Girl Syndrome affect career progression, salary negotiations, entrepreneurship, and leadership? One common pattern is the need to be overprepared. A woman wants to be absolutely certain she can do something before she puts herself forward. She may also expect others to notice her work and reward her without her having to ask. She wants to be recognized for being exceptional, but asking for a promotion, negotiating a salary, or making her ambitions visible can feel uncomfortable. The result can be resentment when other people receive opportunities she wanted but never clearly pursued. People cannot always know what we want. Communicating our desires is not arrogance. It is part of taking responsibility for our lives. How can a woman distinguish healthy ambition from the need to prove she is good enough? I think the distinction begins with asking where the desire comes from. I am ambitious myself, and I don't believe we need to stop pursuing meaningful goals. But I have learned to question my own ambitions, particularly when I feel exhausted or overwhelmed. Am I pursuing something because it genuinely excites me, or because I believe I should want it? Am I moving toward something that feels joyful, or am I trying to prove something about myself? Two people can pursue exactly the same outcome for entirely different reasons. Consider body image. One woman might pursue a physical goal because she believes she isn't good enough as she is. Another might make similar choices because she wants to feel stronger, healthier, and more comfortable in her body. The external result might be identical. The internal experience is not. One approach reinforces the belief that she must constantly fix herself. The other comes from caring for herself. I think we should become more curious about what feels joyful, exciting, and genuinely meaningful to us. The question isn't simply what we want to achieve. It's how we want to feel while living our lives. What happens when a woman spends years being reliable, accommodating, and available to everyone else? She can lose herself. If you believe you must always be reliable, you might ignore your own exhaustion or sadness because someone else needs you. If you are always accommodating, you repeatedly put other people's preferences ahead of your own. If you are always available to everyone else, you may become unavailable to yourself. Eventually, you can lose touch with who you are beyond the role you perform. That role may bring praise, but it doesn't necessarily bring fulfillment. It can create resentment, loneliness, and the feeling that nothing you do is ever enough. And because you have spent years being that person, you may struggle to imagine another way of living. Part IV – Breaking the pattern What is the first sign that a woman may be living according to expectations she never consciously chose? Often, it is resentment, anger, sadness, or loneliness. She feels taken for granted. She feels that nobody understands her. She believes that no matter how much she does, it is never enough. Sometimes, she assumes other people are making her feel inadequate. Of course, some people are genuinely critical or demanding. But it is also worth asking whether she has developed such high internal standards that she is continually judging herself. Three questions can help: What would feel like joy? Who am I really? Who would I love to be if I were at peace? Many women feel guilty when they establish boundaries. How can they change that without becoming cold or abandoning the people they love? First, we need to challenge the belief that saying no means being cold or abandoning someone. Other adults are not helpless children. When we constantly overhelp people, we may believe we are doing something generous, but we can also be satisfying our own need to feel indispensable. We feel significant because we are the person who saves everyone. Meanwhile, the other person becomes accustomed to being rescued. This dynamic can prevent people from developing their own independence and confidence. Allowing someone to handle their own challenges can be a genuine act of care. Boundaries do not mean we stop loving people. They mean we stop assuming that love requires us to carry everything for everyone. What should a woman do when the people around her are uncomfortable with the changes she is making? She doesn't need to explain every discovery to everyone. In the beginning, reconnecting with yourself can be a delicate process. You are learning to hear your own voice, and it can be difficult to maintain that connection when everyone around you has an opinion about what you should do. Find one or two trusted people who understand the process, whether that's a friend, therapist, or coach. Create space to explore your thoughts without immediately seeking approval. As your self-trust grows, other people's reactions become less overwhelming. You can make changes gradually, without needing everyone to understand them first. What practical exercise would you recommend to a woman who wants to begin today? Spend 10-15 minutes a day reconnecting with yourself. You can journal, sit quietly with your hand on your heart, or simply ask yourself a few questions: How am I really feeling today? What's going on inside me? What do I want? What do I need? Is there anything I'm doing today that I don't actually want to do? You don't have to act on every answer immediately. The first step is simply to begin having an honest conversation with yourself. Part V – From individual change to cultural change What could change if we stopped teaching people that they must earn their worth through achievement and self-sacrifice? I think this is a societal issue, not exclusively a women's issue. Men experience their own versions of these patterns, even if they look different. In Western society, we have become accustomed to confusing achievement with worth. We measure performance, productivity, and success, often without asking how people actually feel. What would happen if we separated those things? I believe we could create a world with more honest conversations, greater fulfillment, and people who feel less disconnected from themselves. We might also start questioning the systems we have inherited instead of automatically following the same path. How should leaders rethink success in the workplace? I used to be a big fan of performance indicators and metrics. I still believe accountability matters, but I question what happens when efficiency becomes the priority above everything else. When we value numbers above human well-being, we risk rewarding people for abandoning themselves to achieve results that may not ultimately bring them fulfillment. Our careers and businesses can be meaningful. But they are not the entirety of our lives. I believe we need to put fulfillment and well-being much closer to the center of how we define success. That doesn't mean becoming lazy or abandoning ambition. It means recognizing that people are human beings, not machines. The rise of AI makes this conversation even more important. Many people understandably worry about jobs disappearing, and I believe the coming changes to work deserve serious attention. But I also see an opportunity. If machines take on more of the work humans currently perform, we could begin asking bigger questions about our lives. What if we had more freedom to choose our work? What if we needed to work fewer hours? What would give our lives meaning if our identity were no longer so closely tied to our jobs? I believe we should begin exploring these questions now, rather than waiting until change forces us to confront them. After years of writing and working on this subject, what do you most want women to understand about themselves? That everything they feel is human. We all have thoughts and feelings that we may consider selfish, dark, uncomfortable, or unacceptable. We don't have to judge ourselves for having them. The goal is to experience life fully and allow ourselves to be whole human beings. When we play the good girl, we often show only a fraction of who we are. We hide parts of ourselves because we fear that, without the role we perform, there will be nothing left. But beyond that role is a world of possibility. There is room to discover who we are, what we want, and what we are capable of becoming. Part VI – Finding your way forward For a woman who recognizes herself in this conversation, how can she begin working through Good Girl Syndrome with your support? I've created resources for women at different stages of this journey. If you prefer reading, I've spent the past three years writing extensively for Brainz Magazine. My Brainz contributor page brings together my articles on Good Girl Syndrome, including topics such as boundaries, perfectionism, leadership, mental health, and self-worth. You can also read my previous interviews: Empowering Women to Embrace Their Desires and Empowering Women Beyond “Shoulds”. If you prefer watching or listening, my Good Girl Syndrome Show is available on YouTube and Spotify. Across more than 85 episodes, I explore real questions about boundaries, ambition, relationships, identity, and self-worth. You can also submit a question through the show's Google form. If you're not ready for a private coaching session, this is a way to ask for guidance and potentially hear your question addressed in a future episode. I also recommend beginning with my free Good Girl Syndrome quiz. It helps you explore how these patterns show up in your life and where you might begin. From there, you can explore additional resources and quizzes. And if you're ready for more personalized support, you can explore working with me. You can discover the coaching options available and decide what feels right for you. What would you say to the woman who knows something needs to change but is afraid of what might happen if she stops being the person everyone expects her to be? I would tell her that she's jumping too far ahead. Recognizing that something needs to change and actually changing it are two different moments. You don't have to transform your entire life overnight. The first step is reconnecting with yourself, and you can do that privately. Nobody else needs to know. You can take things one day at a time, allowing your self-trust to grow gradually. You don't have to do this alone, either. You can explore the resources I've created or reach out for personalized support when you're ready. You have time. Take the first step, then the next one. You will find your way. Finally, if every ambitious woman reading this could take away one idea that changed how she sees herself and her future, what would you want that idea to be? Everything you need begins within you. You don't necessarily need to learn more, achieve more, or become someone else. You need to begin removing the restrictions you've imposed on yourself. As you do, you can discover that many of the answers you've been searching for are already within you. That is the heart of my work: helping women release the patterns that have kept them disconnected from their greatness and their truest selves. You are already worthy. You don't have to earn your right to exist, to have desires, or to create a life that feels good to you. You can begin right where you are, exactly as you are, and discover what becomes possible when you finally give yourself permission to be fully yourself. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Julie Vander Meulen

Written by Cat Dowd, Founder of The Sovereign Philosophy™ & ICF-Certified Coach Cat Dowd is a leadership and people culture professional, founder of The Sovereign Philosophy™ and an ICF-certified coach. She champions personal agency, emotional wellbeing and accessible coaching with a particular focus on leadership, career re-entry including young people not in employment, education or training (NEET). As a budding author, dedicated human behaviour researcher and coach, Cat Dowd's writing and ongoing academic/creative explorations directly fuel the development and evolution of her work. Every insight, framework, and resource is part of an ongoing journey of inquiry into human agency, growth, and personal empowerment. A note on independence and philanthropy Entirely self-funded and driven by a personal commitment to social good, The Presence Practice represents a pure philanthropic endeavour by Cat Dowd. Rather than operating for commercial gain, Cat is personally financing the development, resources, and community delivery of The Sovereign Philosophy™ to ensure that high-quality personal development and coaching reach those who need it most, completely free from corporate or investor agendas. Cat introduces The Sovereign Philosophy™, a fresh approach to self-awareness, emotional regulation, and personal agency, with a dedicated focus on social value, community impact, and helping people unlock their full potential. The Presence Practice, a new initiative founded by Cat, is preparing to launch with a clear mission: to make the principles of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and personal agency more accessible to individuals navigating change, uncertainty, and barriers to opportunity. At the heart of the initiative is The Sovereign Philosophy™, a developing framework centred on a simple yet powerful premise: sovereignty is being able to choose how you participate in your own life. Through her up-and-coming website, she will be sharing accessible resources, thought leadership, community engagement, and practical tools. The Presence Practice aims to help people better understand themselves, recognise their strengths, navigate challenges, and make more conscious choices about their futures. Making personal development more accessible While coaching and personal development can be invaluable catalysts for personal growth, access to these opportunities remains unequal. People seeking to enter the workplace, return to employment, or find direction at a pivotal crossroads in their personal lives often lack the dedicated space to reflect, build confidence, and identify their next steps. The Presence Practice intends to help bridge this gap through social value initiatives, including community groups, as well as by offering resources and support opportunities to individuals. By creating space for individuals to develop self-awareness, recognise their capabilities, and take ownership of their choices, the initiative seeks to complement existing education, employability, and community support systems. Introducing The Sovereign Philosophy™ The Sovereign Philosophy™ forms the intellectual and practical bedrock of all work produced by Cat through her social value initiative, The Presence Practice. At its core, the philosophy explores the intricate relationship between self-awareness, emotional regulation, personal values, and individual agency. Its guiding principle is firmly grounded in reality: while we cannot always control our external circumstances, we can cultivate a profound understanding of how we respond to them. This approach invites individuals to pause, reflect, and make deliberate choices, freeing themselves from the inertia of habitual reactions, external expectations, and self-limiting beliefs. To bridge theory and practice, the philosophy is being translated into accessible learning resources and practical frameworks. Among them is the RETURN model, specifically designed to foster deep reflection, heighten awareness, and guide intentional decision-making. The Presence Practice will regularly publish articles, insights, and educational content exploring emotional intelligence, presence, leadership, personal development, and the transformative power of self-awareness in driving meaningful change. As Cat’s research expands, this body of work will underpin a series of comprehensive User Guides to be published over time. The official website is set to launch in January 2027, with accessible resources currently available on The Presence Practice Instagram page. A founder’s commitment to contribution Cat brings extensive experience as a senior People & Culture professional within the built environment sector at PRP Architecture, paired with a longstanding fascination with human behaviour, leadership development, and the conditions that enable people to thrive. In her day job in People & Culture at PRP, Cat sees firsthand the profound impact that supportive cultures and personal growth can have on individuals. This professional commitment naturally extends into her personal life, where she dedicates her spare time to aligning her expertise with broader social good, supporting local communities, young people, and those who have been out of work too. Her background in organisational culture, learning, and development has shaped her core belief: personal growth should not be viewed solely as a private pursuit, but as something that actively contributes to stronger workplaces and healthier communities. As she progresses through professional coaching training towards International Coaching Federation (ICF) credentials, Cat is developing The Presence Practice as a vehicle to extend the benefits of coaching and self-awareness far beyond traditional corporate settings. “I believe everyone deserves the opportunity to understand themselves better, recognise their own strengths, and make conscious choices about the direction of their lives. The Sovereign Philosophy™ is built around the idea that we may not always be able to choose what happens to us, but we can work towards becoming more conscious of how we respond. For me, this is about creating the conditions for people to see possibilities, reconnect with their own agency, and take meaningful steps forward. Through The Presence Practice, I want to help make those opportunities more accessible, particularly for people who may not otherwise have access to coaching or structured personal development.” – Cat Dowd, Founder Looking ahead The initial phase of The Presence Practice will focus on educational resources, thought leadership, and the cultivation of partnerships with people who share a steadfast commitment to personal growth and opportunity. The official website, launching in January 2027, will serve as a digital sanctuary, featuring an introduction to The Sovereign Philosophy™, deep explorations into the role of presence and self-awareness, and signposting to relevant mental health and counselling services. As Cat’s research expands, this foundation will naturally pave the way for a series of detailed User Guides to be published over time. Ultimately, the long-term vision is to establish The Presence Practice as a trusted, credible platform for learning, coaching, and social contribution, firmly grounded in the belief that meaningful change begins with a deeper awareness of ourselves and the choices available to us. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Cat Dowd Cat Dowd, Founder of The Sovereign Philosophy™ & ICF-Certified Coach Cat Dowd is a leadership and personal development advocate, people & culture professional, and founder of the Sovereign Philosophy™. Her work explores emotional intelligence, self-awareness and the power of personal agency in shaping how we live, lead and relate to others. Through her Presence Practice, she champions her social value project to bring greater access to personal development and coaching with a particulat interest to people facing barriers to employment and opportunity. Her mission is to help people reconnect with themselves, recognise their strenghts and choose how they participate in their own lives.

Jennifer Ann Hall spent more than two decades teaching life skills and stress management in psychiatric care and public education before a second cancer diagnosis prompted her to reconsider how she was living. Now a mindfulness practitioner and the writer behind Caught Looking: The Jenny Chronicles, she draws on that experience to help others recognize habitual reactions and approach discomfort with curiosity. In this exclusive interview, Hall discusses how surviving cancer reshaped her understanding of self-awareness, why meditation doesn’t require an empty mind, and how a simple pause can bring greater presence to everyday life. Jennifer Ann Hall, Educator & Certified Mindfulness Meditation Instructor What led you to bring mindfulness into your work after years in healthcare and education? When I was diagnosed with cancer for the second time and felt extremely overwhelmed by a life that no longer felt authentic, I recognized the need to turn inward and reflect. After being in an unsupportive relationship and accepting that I wasn’t invincible, I realized I needed to shift my focus from following the script of what I was expected to do to focusing on myself. Only then could I authentically help others from a place of compassion, starting with myself. I had made so many choices based on the script I had been given that I realized it was time to “do it over.” I had been given an opportunity to save my life, both literally and figuratively, so I took it. This time, I found direction by actually listening to myself rather than my family, doctors, significant others, or the feelings I had disguised as armor. By paying attention to the process, I discovered the value of leaning into confusion to find clarity and going through difficult experiences to move beyond them. I learned to sit with and make friends with every part of myself, imperfections included. How has surviving cancer twice changed the way you understand mindfulness and awareness of yourself? When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I trusted the system and the prevailing narrative without questioning anything. I went through the motions while trying to process the shock of being the healthiest person I knew, doing everything right, and still getting cancer. I had zero known risk factors. When I was diagnosed a second time, I realized I needed to be more proactive about my health and remission. After five years in remission, I had been given the “cured” diagnosis. Had I stopped paying attention at that point, I might have missed the warning sign in my sixth year, when an ear of corn dropped and splashed boiling water onto the very spot where my chest wall recurrence was located. Knowing my body and recognizing what was normal for me, and what wasn’t, helped me identify and navigate my illness. Mindfulness meditation also helped me maintain my emotional well-being and navigate the posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) associated with both the illness and its treatment. I came to understand that mindfulness is not simply about paying attention; it is a way of life that encompasses the whole self as we navigate our existence. It offers an opportunity to live authentically, informed by knowledge and experience we may not have had the first time around. It means taking ourselves off autopilot, creating meaningful experiences, and being patient with every process, including our own. It’s almost like an awakening. What did working in psychiatric care and public education teach you about how people respond to stress and uncertainty? While teaching life skills, leisure education, and stress management in an acute care psychiatric setting, I took the opportunity to learn about myself through the people I worked with daily. I worked with people who had become so caught up in living life according to their own expectations and other people’s definitions of success that they lost themselves along the way. People are given so many resources, tools, and skills, but applying them in everyday settings is difficult when we’re on autopilot. When we change, the people around us are impacted as well and sometimes don’t respond how we need them to. When I moved into education and taught similar skills to students from all different backgrounds, my goal was to equip them with these skills before they reached a point in life where they felt like they had no options. Stress and uncertainty can make us feel like we have very little control over our trajectory, but realistically, it’s our comfort zones that impose those limits. According to Myles Munroe, “Comfort is not your friend; it’s your enemy disguised as your protector.” This was the most important gift the groups I worked with for over 20 years gave me, and I didn’t realize it until I explored my own mindfulness. My most difficult moments became some of my greatest learning opportunities, but I needed to be mindful to cultivate that. Transforming my pain into purpose helps me help others move past their own fear, comfort, or denial. What do you think people misunderstand most about the purpose of mindfulness meditation? One of the most misunderstood aspects of mindfulness meditation is its purpose. People often think the goal is to stop their thoughts or eliminate them altogether. In reality, the goal is to make friends with our thoughts, recognize them for what they are, acknowledge them, and let them go. When we meditate, we explore our thoughts for what they are without judgment. If a thought doesn’t serve us, we can choose to release it rather than remain attached to it. The practice can help us interrupt the feedback loops that keep us stuck in repetitive thinking and behavioral patterns. We can begin breaking automatic habits, anchor ourselves in the present moment, and cultivate acceptance by developing curiosity about ourselves. There is often resistance to using mindfulness meditation as a tool because the practice is misunderstood before it is even attempted. My suggestion is to try it consistently for at least a month before deciding whether it works for you. Aim for 20 minutes per session, at least five days a week. We often spend more than 20 minutes a day mindlessly scrolling without purpose. In my opinion, dedicating that time to mindfulness meditation can support our overall well-being. Why is learning to pause before reacting so difficult, even when we know it could help us? Biology plays a significant role in why pausing before reacting can be so difficult, even when doing so could lead to a more effective and purposeful outcome. Neurobiology, our conditioning and coping patterns, dopamine feedback loops, and a false sense of urgency can keep us repeating the same behaviors unless we intentionally retrain our brains. Mindfulness meditation gives us a tool for practicing awareness. We can sit quietly, observe the present moment, and notice what arises. From there, we have an opportunity to acknowledge our thoughts and redirect our attention without judgment. With practice, we can develop new responses that become more natural in everyday situations. I’ve been practicing for almost two years, and sometimes I don’t even realize I’m pausing and responding mindfully. This is similar to how unhelpful learned responses can become automatic. We have simply practiced those responses longer because we learned them first, and in certain situations, they may once have served us well. Recognizing that we can replace behaviors that no longer honor who we are with ones that genuinely benefit us can be incredibly freeing. The first step is giving ourselves permission to explore that possibility. What would you recommend to someone who wants to start meditating but struggles to sit still or quiet their thoughts? First, I would recommend reaching out to me for an initial consultation so I can guide you through a meditation session. The goal isn’t to quiet or eliminate your thoughts; it’s to acknowledge them and allow them to pass. Second, I often use the phrase “challenge by choice” because, ultimately, you are in control of your comfort zone. We spend so much time trying to escape discomfort that we can miss valuable learning experiences that come from exploring it safely. Moving beyond our comfort zone allows us to examine the things that make us uncomfortable, lean into those experiences at our own pace, and eventually begin to release their hold on us. In some ways, this is similar to using progressive muscle relaxation as a tool for managing stress. We learn to recognize tension, work with it, and release it. Sometimes, we have to move through an experience to move beyond it, loosen its hold, and let it go. How can someone practice mindfulness during stressful everyday moments without setting aside time for formal meditation? When you practice formal meditation, mindfulness can gradually become a way of life. You may find yourself approaching situations with curiosity rather than reacting automatically. You can practice mindfulness during stressful moments simply by focusing on your breath. When we use the natural rhythm of our breathing as an anchor, we can return to the present moment and navigate situations with greater clarity. Our breath is a constant reminder of life itself. Without it, life ceases to exist; with it, we are here. There is no special tool to carry, app to download, feedback to receive, or advice to follow. You simply return your attention to the felt experience of your breath. As long as you are alive, that anchor is always available to you. It’s a terrible business model because I can’t sell you anything tangible or train you in some special skill that you must continually purchase. My business is my presence and guidance. My role is to be with you to support your journey and guide you through the meditation process so you can develop your own practice and eventually make mindfulness as natural as breathing. In time, you may find yourself practicing it without even realizing it. Your writing in Caught Looking: The Jenny Chronicles draws on personal experiences, so what has storytelling helped you understand about resilience? I have always used experiences from my own life to teach others by sharing relatable examples. We tend to trust people who have experienced similar challenges and survived them, especially those who can speak about a subject because they have not only lived through it but also found a way to thrive afterward. Storytelling draws people in through words and experiences that resonate with them. It also gives us an opportunity to reflect mindfully on our own experiences, consider how they have affected us, and determine what we can do with those experiences moving forward. When we take a complex experience from our minds and put it on paper, we create distance from it. This can help interrupt the panic response and transform the chaos in our minds into something more structured. That structure gives us an opportunity to acknowledge, process, and reflect on what happened, learn from it, and eventually let it go. I believe that, during my healing, this storytelling helped me develop a deeper understanding of myself and the plight of others, making me a great asset in guiding this practice. If readers could make one small change to become more present in their daily lives, where would you encourage them to begin? First, you have to want to begin. Moving beyond the barriers we impose on ourselves can generate the momentum needed for transformational growth. When we stop evolving, we limit our ability to pursue personal fulfillment and explore our full potential. Once you make a conscious decision to become more present, your anchor can be as simple as your breath. In fact, breathing is the practice. Focus on your breath and practice pausing in any situation. We often move through life on autopilot, going through the motions without truly experiencing them. In my mindfulness practice, the breath serves as an anchor. Because breathing sustains life, we can always return to this simple action to reconnect with the present moment. By focusing on our breath, we can engage our senses and experience life as it unfolds rather than allowing moments to pass us by. That awareness is where we can begin to cultivate a deeper appreciation for life. If you visit my webpage, you can learn more about my mindfulness work. If you or someone you know has been touched by cancer, I also invite you to visit my blog, where I share guidance and resources to help support the journey. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Jennifer Ann Hall

Written by Dr. Louise Hurst, Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach Dr. Louise Hurst is a Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist whose work sits at the intersection of neuroscience, embodiment, and lived experience. With a PhD in Neuroscience and 16 years in healthcare communications, she brings scientific depth and emotional attunement to her coaching sessions. I recently returned from a trip to Rome, where I visited the Colosseum, a remarkable historic structure that has stood the test of time for nearly two thousand years. The Colosseum had long been on my travel bucket list. Yet, as I listened to the tour guide describe the inauguration of the amphitheatre by Emperor Titus, during which 5,000 animals were slaughtered in a single day, I felt a growing sense of unease. As the sun poured through the large arches designed for the giraffes, lions, tigers, and bears, the feelings of injustice and death associated with this “great” historic place felt so tangible. Unfortunately, using exotic animals for entertainment is not a relic of the past. It remains part of the human experience in many countries around the world today. Where my conservation story began I started my academic career with a desire to become a conservationist. I grew up watching David Attenborough and went on to study zoology at the University of Manchester, later specialising in animal behaviour and neuroscience for my master’s degree. Today, I work as a medical writer and somatic trauma-informed coach specialising in narcissistic abuse. However, my passion for conservation and the protection of endangered species has never left me, and I now volunteer at a local wildlife sanctuary that rescues animals that have had a traumatic start to life. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder and emotional pain in animals As a society, we still struggle to understand that human trauma occurs in many settings, not only among war veterans. Trauma can arise from bullying, job loss, and divorce. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) can develop in relationships through repeated abuse, neglect, and betrayal. Yet, research into PTSD and animal behaviour is only now beginning to gather pace. A recent study found that 82% of working donkeys in brick kilns display behaviours consistent with C-PTSD, including withdrawal, hypervigilance, and shutdown states. What looks like “stoicism” is often a form of learned helplessness, a survival response to inescapable stress and repeated abuse [1]. Concurrently, a 2026 review examining the loss of social bonds in nonhuman animals shows that separation triggers complex emotional, physiological, and behavioural changes, including grief-like responses and separation-related distress that can lead to prolonged affective stress [2]. This demonstrates that we cannot dismiss animal suffering as anthropomorphism. The emotional impact of loss is biologically real. These animals all have mammalian brains wired similarly to our own. They need attachment, play, safety, and enrichment. They experience pain, fear, and confusion. Their nervous systems respond to trauma in ways that mirror ours, including heightened vigilance, dissociation, avoidance, and shutdown. As the authors of the kiln study note, “failing to see those emotional parallels isn’t scientific objectivity, it’s empathic failure” [1]. Circus big cats Across the US and Europe, big cats are still used in circuses for entertainment. These animals are forced to live in cramped cages, with their only respite being the brief performances they are made to endure. Semi-nocturnal and solitary by nature, circus tigers are compelled to act against their instincts, performing during the day, in groups, under bright lights and amid loud noise. This often leads to fights, injuries, and chronic stress. Many circus big cats suffer deep psychological trauma. They are separated from their mothers too early, punished during training, made to perform with fire, or deprived of food as a form of control [3]. Restaurant bears Eurasian brown bears (Ursus arctos arctos) were used in Ancient Rome for fighting in the arenas and are still used today for entertainment in countries such as Azerbaijan. Known as “restaurant bears,” they are kept in cages beside restaurants and used to entertain customers, living lives defined by confinement, deprivation, and human exploitation. To capture the cubs, poachers often kill the mother. The frightened cubs may initially flee, only to return to her body and be captured. Unless rescued, many restaurant bears will live under the human spotlight, unable to hibernate or display natural behaviours such as digging and foraging because of the concrete prisons in which they live [4]. The cost of denial Circuses across Europe and the US still use big cats in their performances. Eurasian brown bears continue to be taken from their mothers and sold into the restaurant trade, where they are kept in cages for entertainment. Denial keeps us comfortable for a while, but eventually, we must face the reality that humanity’s appetite for entertainment has reduced intelligent, sensitive animals to objects of dominance and control. Made to perform for human pleasure, they endure pain, deprivation, and long-lasting physical and psychological harm. Taking action doesn't have to be loud. Choosing not to attend circuses that use animals is one small way we can help ensure this cruelty becomes a thing of the past. When we walk through the Colosseum, we look back at animal suffering as part of a less enlightened age. Yet, across the world, animals continue to experience trauma for human entertainment. If we accept that these animals are capable of fear, attachment, grief, and psychological suffering, then our responsibility is clear. History should remain in the past. For Zoppa (2012 to 2026), a beautiful and dignified tigress who touched my heart. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Louise Hurst Dr. Louise Hurst, Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach Dr. Louise Hurst is a Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With a PhD in Neuroscience and 16 years in healthcare communications, she brings scientific depth and emotional attunement to her work. Her lived experiences of narcissistic abuse - both professionally and privately - led her to become a coach dedicated to helping others heal. Through her own therapeutic journey, she learned that trauma can't be processed effectively without including the body. She is the founder of Beauty for Ashes Coaching and Henka Medical Communications Ltd. Her mission: Helping survivors thrive after abuse. References: [1] Taylor, K., Harrison, A., and Capaldo, T. 2025. Stoicism or Defeat? The Psychological Impact of the Kiln Environment on Working Donkeys and Mules. Animals. 15(11):1525 [2] Mota-Rojas, D. et al. 2026. Emotional pain in non-human mammals: from neural circuitry and opioid signaling to dysthymia-like states, grief-like behaviors, and physiological dysregulation. Front Vet Sci. 13:1878991. [3] People for the ethical treatment of animals. Accessed October 2026 [4] Press Release. May 2024. Benji and Balue’s lives of misery in a concrete cage. Isle of Wight Observer. Accessed October 2026

Written by KeKe Chanel, Author, Host, & Certified Life and Book Coach KeKe Chanel is an award-winning author, certified life and book coach, and host of Kickin' It With KeKe Podcast. KeKe is also the owner of KeKe Chanel LLC and Nineteen Lifestyle Magazine. What if the person standing between you and the life you desire isn't someone who hurt you, doubted you, or walked away from you? What if it's the version of yourself you've spent years defending, protecting, and refusing to release? That's an uncomfortable question, isn't it? We spend so much time identifying the people, circumstances, and experiences that have contributed to where we are in life that we sometimes overlook our own participation in remaining there. Now, before you start mentally preparing your defense, hear me out. This isn't about blaming yourself for what happened to you. It's about recognizing when the behaviors that once helped you survive are now preventing you from moving forward. As a mindset and personal growth coach, I've learned that one of the most difficult parts of transformation isn't necessarily changing how we think. It's accepting that the person we've become comfortable being may no longer be the person we need to remain. We talk about growth as though it's simply a matter of adopting better habits, developing a positive attitude, and setting new goals. While those things certainly have value, genuine transformation requires something much deeper. It requires us to examine the identities we've created around our experiences and ask whether we're still living from a place of purpose or operating from patterns we've simply grown accustomed to. Sometimes the answer isn't nearly as flattering as we'd like. The identity you've outgrown but still defend Every experience we encounter contributes to how we see ourselves and the world around us. Over time, we develop beliefs, behaviors, and emotional responses that become part of our identity. Some are rooted in confidence and an understanding of ourselves, while others are formed through disappointment, rejection, fear, or the need to protect ourselves. The problem arises when we become so attached to those identities that we begin defending behaviors we've already acknowledged need to change. Consider the person who constantly says, "I've always been this way." It's a familiar statement, often delivered with enough confidence to make it sound like a personality trait rather than an unwillingness to grow. Well, congratulations on knowing yourself. Now, what are you planning to do with that information? Knowing yourself is valuable, but awareness without action eventually becomes another excuse. Knowing that you struggle with communication doesn't excuse refusing to have difficult conversations. Recognizing that you have trust issues doesn't mean everyone you encounter should spend their time paying for someone else's mistakes. Acknowledging that you're afraid of failure doesn't automatically justify abandoning every opportunity that requires you to take a risk. There is a difference between understanding why you behave a certain way and using that understanding to avoid accountability. Growth challenges us to recognize that our experiences may explain our behavior, but they don't always justify continuing it. At some point, we must stop asking everyone around us to accommodate versions of ourselves we're no longer willing to challenge. When survival becomes a personality One of the most overlooked aspects of personal growth is how easily survival can become an identity. When you've spent years navigating difficult circumstances, protecting your peace, managing disappointment, or carrying responsibilities that demanded more of you than you felt capable of giving, survival becomes second nature. You learn to anticipate problems, prepare for disappointment, and remain emotionally guarded because experience has taught you that being vulnerable can come with consequences. Those responses may have served an important purpose during certain seasons of your life. They helped you navigate situations when you didn't have the knowledge, resources, or emotional capacity to respond differently. But what happens when the circumstances change and your mindset doesn't? You may find yourself questioning people's intentions even when they've given you no reason to doubt them. You may struggle to accept support because you've convinced yourself that independence means never needing anyone. You may even sabotage opportunities because uncertainty feels more threatening than remaining in an environment you've already outgrown. Let's not forget our favorite declaration: "I don't need anybody." Really? Not one person? Not even somebody to help you move that heavy furniture you've been staring at for six months? Humor aside, there is nothing wrong with being independent. The concern begins when independence becomes an emotional defense mechanism rather than a healthy expression of your ability to rely on yourself. We must learn to distinguish between the characteristics that genuinely reflect who we are and the protective behaviors we've mistaken for personality traits. Being guarded isn't always wisdom. Being constantly busy isn't necessarily productivity. Being the strongest person in the room doesn't mean you're emotionally healthy. Sometimes, the very qualities we celebrate about ourselves deserve closer examination. The version of you that survived difficult experiences deserves acknowledgment and compassion. However, honoring that version of yourself doesn't require allowing it to make every decision about your future. You cannot become someone new while negotiating with your old self Here's where the conversation becomes even more personal. Many people genuinely desire change. They want healthier relationships, greater confidence, financial stability, emotional freedom, and opportunities that reflect their potential. They invest in books, attend workshops, listen to motivational podcasts, and collect enough inspirational quotes to decorate an entire office building. Yet their daily decisions remain remarkably familiar. Why? Because wanting change and being willing to change are two different commitments. We often approach transformation as though we can simply add new experiences to our lives without releasing the behaviors that conflict with them. We want peace but continue entertaining unnecessary conflict. We want healthier relationships but refuse to communicate honestly. We want different results but remain committed to the same decisions. When things don't improve, we begin questioning whether growth is actually possible. The reality is that transformation requires participation. It demands that we become intentional about what we tolerate, how we respond, and which beliefs we continue allowing to influence our choices. This doesn't mean every obstacle can be overcome through mindset alone. Life presents circumstances beyond our control, and some challenges require support, resources, time, and healing. However, within those realities, there are often opportunities to examine how we respond and what we choose to carry forward. We cannot control every chapter of our story, but we can become more intentional about how we participate in writing the next one. One of the most significant mindset shifts occurs when we stop treating our past identity as a permanent definition of who we are. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to develop new boundaries. You are allowed to reconsider beliefs that once made perfect sense. You are even allowed to admit that something you defended for years no longer aligns with the person you're becoming. That isn't hypocrisy. That's growth. Contrary to popular belief, growth doesn't require a press release explaining your transformation to everyone who remembers the old you. Sometimes, it simply requires making a different decision and allowing your actions to speak for themselves. The courage to become unfamiliar to yourself There is a particular kind of discomfort that accompanies genuine personal transformation. It's the uncertainty of no longer responding the way you once did while still learning how to navigate life differently. You may feel guilty for establishing boundaries where you previously offered unlimited access. You may question yourself when you choose rest instead of constantly proving your worth through productivity. You may even feel uncomfortable experiencing peace because you've become so accustomed to managing chaos. This discomfort doesn't necessarily mean you're making the wrong decision. Sometimes, it means you're practicing a healthier response that hasn't yet become familiar. That's an important distinction. Personal growth isn't always accompanied by immediate confidence or certainty. Sometimes, it looks like having a difficult conversation with trembling hands. Sometimes, it's declining an invitation without offering five paragraphs of explanation. Other times, it's recognizing an old pattern and choosing not to participate, even when every familiar instinct tells you otherwise. The goal isn't to become someone who never struggles. The goal is to become someone who recognizes when an old response no longer serves the life they're intentionally creating. That requires patience, honesty, and a willingness to be uncomfortable without immediately retreating into familiarity. Most importantly, it requires understanding that you can appreciate who you were without remaining committed to being that person forever. The decision that changes everything Perhaps the most challenging part of personal growth is accepting that not every version of ourselves is meant to accompany us into every season of life. Some versions were developed out of necessity. Others emerged from fear, disappointment, or circumstances we didn't know how to navigate differently. Each one may have contributed something meaningful to our journey, but contribution doesn't automatically require continuation. Think about that. Just because a particular mindset helped you survive one chapter doesn't mean it has the capacity to help you thrive in the next. We must become willing to examine the emotional attachments we've formed with our past identities and recognize when loyalty has quietly become limitation. This isn't about rejecting your history or pretending difficult experiences never happened. It's about refusing to allow those experiences to become permanent restrictions on your possibilities. You can acknowledge what you've endured without allowing it to define everything you're capable of becoming. You can appreciate the strength that carried you through difficult seasons while learning that strength can also look like asking for help, expressing vulnerability, or choosing a different path. You can recognize that the person you were deserves respect without believing that person deserves permanent control over your future. Ultimately, the question isn't whether you're capable of changing. It's whether you're willing to release the familiarity of who you've been long enough to discover who you can become. Because sometimes, the greatest obstacle to personal growth isn't a lack of knowledge, opportunity, or potential. It's our continued loyalty to an identity we've already outgrown. A final mindset moment Before you move on with your day, I want you to consider something. What part of your identity are you still defending simply because it's familiar? What behavior have you repeatedly justified with the words "That's just how I am"? What might become possible if you stopped allowing your past experiences to make decisions your present self is fully capable of reconsidering? These aren't questions that require immediate answers. They require honest reflection, followed by intentional action. You don't have to dishonor who you were to embrace who you're becoming. You don't have to erase your experiences, minimize your struggles, or apologize for the ways you learned to survive. But you do have to recognize when the mindset that once protected you is now preventing you from progressing. Honor who you were. Take responsibility for who you are. Make room for who you're becoming. Because the next chapter of your life deserves more than a familiar version of the same story. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from KeKe Chanel KeKe Chanel, Author, Host, & Certified Life and Book Coach KeKe Chanel is an award-winning author, certified life and book coach, and host of Kickin’ It With KeKe: Life, Love, and All That Other SH&T Podcast. KeKe is the proud owner and CEO of P.U.S.H. Life Coaching & KeKe Chanel LLC. At PUSH, KeKe helps individuals unpack their mental packages to create a new mindset through positive personal growth. Her hobbies include reading, watching horror movies, and spending time with people who recharge her in a positive way. KeKe recently founded Kickin’ It With KeKe Media and launched her lifestyle magazine, Nineteen, in January of 2024. KeKe resides in Louisiana with her family.

Written by Andrew Houn, Acupuncture for Health and Longevity Dr. Andrew Houn is a doctor of acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine, professor, and founder of the award-winning Beyond Acupuncture in Dana Point, California, providing acupuncture services to Laguna Niguel, Dana Point, and Laguna Beach. He specializes in pain management, longevity, fertility support, women's health, and stress management. You wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. You throw off the blankets, only to feel cold a few minutes later. The next morning, you're exhausted, your patience feels shorter than usual, and you can't remember where you left your keys. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. For many women, menopause is far more than an occasional hot flash. It can affect sleep, mood, energy, concentration, and overall quality of life. While menopause is a natural stage of life, that doesn't mean its symptoms must simply be endured. As a doctor of acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine and founder of Beyond Acupuncture, serving Laguna Beach, Laguna Niguel, and Dana Point, I've helped many women navigate this transition. One thing I've learned is that no two women experience menopause in exactly the same way, and treatment should reflect that individuality. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), including acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine, offers a personalized approach that may complement conventional menopause care. Menopause is about more than hot flashes Although hot flashes receive the most attention, they aren't always the symptoms women find most disruptive. Many women tell me they're more frustrated by interrupted sleep, emotional changes, persistent fatigue, or difficulty concentrating at work. Other common symptoms include night sweats, anxiety, irritability, brain fog, vaginal dryness, and joint discomfort. Some women experience only mild symptoms, while others struggle with several at once. Understanding these differences is essential to developing an effective treatment plan. Why traditional Chinese medicine looks at menopause differently Western medicine explains menopause primarily through changes in reproductive hormones, particularly declining estrogen levels. Traditional Chinese medicine approaches menopause through a different framework, focusing on patterns of symptoms and the relationships between different bodily functions. Imagine your body has an internal cooling system. Over time, that system becomes less efficient. In TCM, this resembles a decline in yin, the body's nourishing, cooling, and moisturizing aspect. When yin becomes insufficient, yang, the body's warming and active aspect, is no longer adequately balanced. This may create what TCM practitioners call deficient heat, a pattern traditionally associated with hot flashes, night sweats, dry mouth, restlessness, and insomnia. However, deficient heat isn't the only pattern associated with night sweats. Damp heat, described in TCM as an accumulation of excess moisture and heat, may also contribute to sweating, particularly when accompanied by heaviness, digestive discomfort, or sensations of internal heat. These are traditional Chinese medical concepts rather than direct measurements of hormones or physiological processes. By identifying the underlying TCM pattern, practitioners can develop different treatment strategies for women experiencing similar symptoms. Why every woman's menopause journey is different Two women may both come to my office complaining of hot flashes. One struggles primarily with anxiety and insomnia, while the other experiences fatigue, irritability, and digestive discomfort. Although their symptoms overlap, their TCM patterns, and therefore their treatments, may differ considerably. Three common patterns include: Kidney yin deficiency: Often associated with hot flashes, night sweats, dry mouth, and difficulty sleeping. Treatment traditionally focuses on nourishing yin and clearing deficient heat. Liver qi stagnation: Frequently associated with irritability, emotional tension, stress, and mood fluctuations. Treatment aims to promote the smooth flow of qi and support emotional balance. Heart and kidney disharmony: May present with restless sleep, anxiety, vivid dreams, and palpitations. Treatment focuses on nourishing yin and calming the mind. These patterns can overlap and are not equivalent to conventional medical diagnoses. The key is understanding each woman's overall presentation rather than treating menopause as a single, uniform condition. What does the research say? Research into acupuncture for menopause has grown considerably over the past two decades, with encouraging findings. A randomized controlled trial published in BMJ Open found that women receiving weekly acupuncture for five weeks experienced clinically meaningful improvements in hot flashes, night sweats, sleep disturbances, and emotional symptoms. Other studies have also reported improvements in quality of life during menopause. Some women notice improvements after several treatments, while others experience gradual changes over several weeks. Results vary depending on symptom severity, overall health, and individual response. For women already receiving menopausal hormone therapy, acupuncture can also be considered as a complementary approach to symptom management. My approach to acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine One of the biggest misconceptions about acupuncture is that everyone receives the same treatment for the same condition. At Beyond Acupuncture, I don't treat menopause. I treat the woman experiencing menopause. Every treatment begins with an evaluation of sleep, energy, stress, emotional well-being, digestion, medical history, and overall health. This information guides acupuncture treatment and, when appropriate, a Chinese herbal prescription. Unlike many standardized supplements marketed for menopause, traditional Chinese herbal medicine uses combinations of herbs selected according to each patient's presentation. For example, a woman exhibiting kidney yin deficiency may receive a formula containing Shu Di Huang (prepared rehmannia root), traditionally used to nourish yin. Herbs such as Zhi Mu (anemarrhena rhizome) and Huang Bai (phellodendron bark) may also be included to clear deficient heat associated with hot flashes and night sweats. Other herbs may be selected to address sleep disturbances, emotional symptoms, or digestive concerns. As symptoms change, herbal prescriptions can be adjusted accordingly. Because Chinese herbal medicine can interact with medications or may be inappropriate for certain medical conditions, professional supervision is important. The goal is to address each woman's concerns while supporting her overall well-being. Supporting healthy aging through menopause Menopause isn't simply about managing uncomfortable symptoms. It's also an opportunity to invest in health over the long term. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, restorative sleep, stress management, and meaningful social connections support physical and emotional well-being. With my interest in longevity medicine, I encourage women to think beyond immediate symptom relief. Maintaining muscle strength, bone health, mobility, energy, and resilience becomes increasingly important during this stage of life. Final thoughts One of the biggest misconceptions about menopause is that women simply have to push through it. While menopause is a natural transition, struggling through its symptoms doesn't have to be inevitable. Traditional Chinese medicine offers an approach that considers the whole person rather than focusing solely on individual symptoms. Acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine may complement conventional medical care and healthy lifestyle habits. Menopause marks the beginning of a new chapter. It doesn't mark the end of feeling vibrant. With appropriate care and support, women can navigate this transition with greater comfort, confidence, and vitality. If you're experiencing menopausal symptoms, visit here to explore Chinese herbal formulas designed to help manage menopausal symptoms, including hot flashes, night sweats, and sleep disturbances. Follow me on Instagram for more info! Read more from Andrew Houn Andrew Houn, Acupuncture for Health and Longevity Dr. Andrew Houn is a doctor of acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine (DACCHM), professor, and founder of the award-winning Beyond Acupuncture in Dana Point, California. His clinic serves Laguna Niguel, Dana Point, and Laguna Beach with acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine. His specialties include pain management, longevity, fertility support, women's health, digestive disorders, neurological conditions, stress management, and post-surgical recovery. He earned his doctorate from Pacific College of Health and Science and a master's degree from South Baylo University, where he teaches. He also holds degrees from Johns Hopkins University and UC Berkeley, studied at Shanghai Jiao Tong University, and worked at UC Irvine Medical Center.

Written by Delia Brett, Coach, Teacher, Facilitator, & Dance Artist Delia Brett is a transformational coach, yoga teacher, and dancer with 35+ years of experience. Owner of Green Room Yoga and creator of East Van Wisdom School, she guides people to dissolve stuck patterns, reclaim their power, and awaken to deeper purpose and creativity. I believe that beneath all our yearnings for personal success and happiness lies a yearning even more powerful, more essential to our purpose. The yearning to give all of ourselves. To be a source of love and upliftment for others. To see the power of our love received and multiplied in others' hearts. To make a difference. To break the patterns of shame, lack, and isolation that have plagued us, and to leave this world better than we found it. You don’t have to be the CEO of a world hunger organization to make a difference. You just need a space to begin letting go of false narratives about power and success and to step out of the games of blame and shame, of judging and comparing. A space to learn the skills of showing up, imperfectly perfect. Just the way you are. Honestly. Authentically. With a willingness to bring the fullness of who you are to bear on your own life. But how do we get there? How do we learn to recognize what we have to offer, to trust it, and to bring it forward in a world that so often teaches us to stay safe by staying small? I know something about the yearning to bring what we have to the world and to let it make a difference. I also know something about staying small. I poured myself into my performances, giving everything I had to my art. But I didn’t feel safe speaking with the same passion and honesty in my own voice on the ordinary stage of my life. For decades, I carried the weight of a non-profit company, a cooperative studio, a choreographic career, a neurodivergent child, and a two-artist, low-income family. I busied myself managing a whole village of other people’s needs and expectations, while never feeling safe enough to include my own. I held it all together on the outside, while on the inside I was falling apart. I simply couldn’t keep going amid the sleeplessness, the stress, and the invisible labour of being an artist, a mother, and a woman in a culture that did not recognize the value of what I was giving. I had so much to offer, but like so many of us, I had internalized the message that asking for more support, money, opportunity, resources, or connection was selfish. That staying small and accommodating was my only option. Then I found group coaching. I discovered the truth was here all along, in us. I discovered that what I needed wasn't selfish, weird, or a burden. It was human. It was essential. My needs were not obstacles to my contribution. They were the very things that made it possible. I found it in the witnessing, the amplifying, and the holding environment of a group willing to risk opening their hearts to one another. People who could help me see what I couldn’t see in myself, reflecting back the potential and possibility I had lost sight of. As I began to bring more of myself forward, something shifted in those around me as well. We were no longer simply witnessing one another. We opened doors for one another, awakened possibilities, and became part of each other’s becoming. We need each other. I know this from decades of bringing people together through dance, performance, and creative work. I have seen what happens when people gather around a shared vision, each bringing their own perspective, gifts, courage, and time. Something emerges between us that none of us could create alone. That is what art is all about. Transformation. Synthesis. That is the power of a people willing to bring themselves fully to their work. Yet we often overlook how much we can achieve when we bring this collaborative visioning into our everyday lives by communicating openly, listening genuinely, and looking beyond our judgments to see in others what we may not yet see in ourselves. This is not about becoming someone else. It is about making room for more of who you already are and discovering what unfolds when you bring that fuller self into your relationships, work, creativity, and life. But this kind of change doesn’t happen simply because we understand it intellectually. We need opportunities to practice. We need to be in relationship with others who are willing to meet us honestly, see us beyond the stories we tell ourselves, and help us discover what we might not find on our own. We need a place to experiment, take risks, stumble, learn, and begin again. The courage to matter: A practice space for growth The Courage to Matter is the third group coaching program I’ve developed, drawing on my experience with this work's transformative possibilities and decades of work in dance, yoga, embodiment, creativity, and facilitating people through change. Offered through East Van Wisdom School at Green Room Yoga, this eight-week experience brings together embodied practice, dialogue, writing, creative exploration, contemplative practices, breath, and Energy Codes facilitation. Together, we work with what is here, what gets in the way, and what wants to emerge. The group is not there to give you answers or tell you who to become. It is a place to practice being seen, being honest, listening deeply, and bringing more of yourself into the room. A place to be witnessed and challenged, to recognize what you carry, and to discover what becomes possible when you stop trying to do it all alone. Because what becomes possible when we make room for ourselves within one another is still unfolding. The time is now. This is the great work of our lifetime. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Delia Brett Delia Brett, Coach, Teacher, Facilitator, & Dance Artist Delia Brett is a transformational coach, embodiment teacher, and yoga instructor with over 23 years of experience. A veteran dance artist and choreographer, she co-directed the interdisciplinary company MACHiNENOiSY for 17 years, creating boundary-pushing productions with youth and adult performers. She is the founder of Art Full Well Coaching and the East Van Wisdom School, and the owner of Green Room Yoga in Vancouver, BC. Delia blends somatics, creativity, and consciousness to help people dissolve stuck patterns, reclaim their power, and reconnect with the wisdom of their bodies. Her work invites others to turn life’s challenges into gateways for growth, clarity, and spiritual awakening.

Written by Yvonne Cote, Founder of There Is an Angel for That™ Yvonne Cote is a spiritual mentor, intuitive guide, and the founder of There Is an Angel for That™, a holistic guidance platform. She is a co-author of the international bestselling books "My Mess is My Message II" and "Learning Through Pain" and the creator of Celestial Soul Mastery, her flagship transformation journey. Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling as though someone had pulled the plug on your energy? Nothing dramatic happened, and the person may even be someone you love, yet you feel heavy, tired, and strangely flat for hours afterward. If this happens with the same people again and again, you may be dealing with an energy vampire. In this article, you'll learn what energy vampires are, the signs to watch for in them and in yourself, and five gentle ways to protect your peace without closing your heart. What is an energy vampire? An energy vampire is someone whose way of relating leaves you drained rather than nourished. The name sounds sinister, but most energy vampires are not villains. Many are lovely, well-meaning people who simply have no idea how much they take. They might be a friend who calls only when life is falling apart, a family member who turns every visit into a list of complaints, or a colleague who brings a new crisis to your desk every morning. What makes them hard to spot is that they are often people you care about. You want to help, so you keep showing up, listening, and giving. Over time, your own reserves run low, and you may not even connect the exhaustion to its source. You just know you feel worse, and you can't quite explain why. I’ve had a connection in my own life where I would finish a conversation and feel completely drained. I’d hang up the phone and need to sit quietly for a few minutes before I could even think about what came next. I cared about this person, so I listened, offered encouragement, and tried to help. But afterward, I would still be thinking about their problems when I needed to be getting on with my own day. It took me a while to recognize what was happening. I had become so focused on being supportive that I wasn’t paying attention to how these conversations were affecting me. Eventually, I had to ask myself, “How much of my time and energy am I giving here, and what do I have left afterward?” That was an uncomfortable question, but I needed to answer it honestly. Why do they affect you? Some people are far more affected by energy vampires than others. If you are naturally empathic, deeply caring, or the one everyone turns to in a crisis, you are more likely to attract people who lean on you heavily. Sensitive, giving people tend to absorb what others are feeling, and they often feel responsible for fixing it. That combination makes you a wonderful friend and a very easy person to drain. This isn't only an energetic idea. Researchers at Brigham Young University and the University of Utah found that time with friends who are a source of both support and stress raised people's blood pressure, while time with consistently supportive friends did not. As the researchers put it, some relationships may actually be sources of stress. In my work, I see this every day. The body keeps score of who lifts us up and who wears us down, long before the mind is willing to admit it. Signs to watch for Energy vampires tend to share a few familiar patterns. Their conversations circle back to their own problems, and when you offer help or advice, it rarely gets used, yet they keep coming back for more. There is often ongoing negativity or drama, a habit of blaming others, and very little gratitude for the support they receive. Some use guilt, flattery, or a sense of urgency to keep your attention exactly where they want it. The clearest signs, though, are in you. You may feel physically tired, foggy, or headachy after time with certain people. You might notice yourself bracing when their name appears on your phone, overcommitting because saying no feels impossible, or replaying a conversation long after it has ended. If you need to recover after seeing someone, that feeling is information worth trusting. Related article: The Art Of Saying No: Boundaries as the Secret to Thriving Success 5 ways to protect yourself 1. Notice how you feel Protection begins with awareness. After you spend time with someone, take a quiet moment to check in with your body. Do you feel lighter or heavier, calmer or more anxious, more like yourself or less? You don't need to judge the person or make any decisions yet. Simply noticing the pattern, over several interactions, gives you the clarity to respond rather than react. 2. Set gentle boundaries Boundaries are not walls. They are a loving way of letting people know where you end and they begin. You might limit a phone call to twenty minutes, decline to discuss certain topics, or let a friend know you can't be available every evening. Say it kindly and simply, without long explanations. The people who truly value you will adjust, and the ones who push back are showing you exactly why the boundary was needed. 3. Stop fixing everything Many caring people offer solution after solution, only to watch each one be brushed aside. If this sounds familiar, try offering less. You can listen with compassion without taking on the job of solving someone else's life. Gently redirect a conversation that keeps circling the same complaint, or ask, "What do you think you might do?" Handing the responsibility back is often the kindest thing you can do for both of you. 4. Ground before and after Before you see someone who tends to drain you, take a few slow, deep breaths and imagine a soft bubble of light surrounding you, letting kindness in while keeping heaviness out. Afterward, ground yourself again. Step outside, put your bare feet on the earth, wash your hands with intention, or simply breathe until you feel like yourself. These small rituals tell your body that the interaction is over and it is safe to let go. 5. Release what you carry Sometimes the drain lingers long after the visit ends. You keep thinking about the person, feeling their worries as if they were your own. This is where energetic release can help. Sit quietly, picture any heavy ties between you and that person, and imagine them gently dissolving, leaving only love behind. You can also ask your angels to help you release whatever is not yours to carry. Letting go in this way is not rejection. It is an act of self-love. Setting a boundary brought up feelings I hadn’t expected. I could recognize that I needed some space, yet I still felt guilty saying, “I care about you, but I’m not available to talk tonight.” Part of me wanted to soften it, explain myself, or offer another time before I had even considered what I needed. I asked Archangel Michael to help me release what wasn’t mine to carry and give me the strength to follow through. I still cared about this person. I simply needed to stop making myself available every time. Giving myself that space brought relief, and it helped me see how often I had been saying yes out of guilt. With practice, I became more comfortable being honest about what I could give. Related article: 5 Powerful Strategies to Set Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life Compassion without depletion Recognizing an energy vampire doesn't mean cutting everyone off or deciding someone is a bad person. Many of the people who drain us are hurting, and they deserve compassion too. The difference is that you can offer compassion from a full cup rather than an empty one. Every time you say no to what drains you, you say yes to more peace, more clarity, and more of the energy you need for the life you are here to live. Related article: What Is Your Guardian Angel Trying to Tell You? Reclaim your energy today If you recognized yourself in this article, my free guide, From Drained to Dynamic: Breaking Free From Energy Vampires, will help you take the next step. Inside, you’ll find an eight-question Energy Check-In, gentle boundary phrases for the moments you don’t know what to say, and a cord-cutting prayer and two-minute energy reset to help you release what isn’t yours to carry. Download your free guide and start feeling like yourself again. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Yvonne Cote Yvonne Cote, Founder of There Is an Angel for That™ Yvonne Cote is a spiritual mentor, intuitive guide, and the founder of There Is an Angel for That™, a holistic guidance platform. She is a co-author of the international bestselling books "My Mess is My Message II" and "Learning Through Pain" and the creator of Celestial Soul Mastery, her flagship transformation journey. Through her teaching and private mentorship, she helps sensitive, intuitive women reconnect with their inner wisdom and navigate life with greater clarity and confidence. Known for her warm, grounded approach, she blends spirituality, energy work, and practical personal development to help others trust themselves and reclaim their inner authority.

Written by Erika Allison, Founder of NuFeet Medical Pedicures® Erika Allison is the founder of NuFeet Medical Pedicures® and creator of the medical pedicure business model, pioneering a private, condition-based approach to pedicures that incorporates physician collaboration. Through education, consulting, and live events, she has trained professionals worldwide and helped transform the pedicure industry. Some of the most effective innovations begin with a small problem that others have learned to accept. This article shares how one nail professional turned a concern about hygiene and cross-contamination into the Disposable Mini Brush™, a practical tool that helped raise standards across the industry. Innovation does not always begin with a groundbreaking invention. Sometimes, it begins with a simple question: “Why are we still doing it this way?” That question first came to me while I was in nail school. Like every student, I had to complete a required number of manicures and pedicures before graduation. There was one tool that every student became familiar with: the cleanup brush. Ironically, it was not even designed for the nail industry. It was a small makeup concealer brush that we dipped into acetone to clean polish from around the skin after polishing the nails. Once the service was finished, we wiped the brush off and placed it in Barbicide before using it on the next client. That same brush was used on feet, then hands, over and over. As I watched the variety of clients coming through the clinic, I could not stop thinking about that brush. Some clients had thick toenails. Some had severely dry or cracked skin. Others had athlete’s foot or nails that appeared to have fungal infections. Yet the same cleanup brush continued making its rounds from client to client. At the time, I did not know any different. That was simply what I had been taught. As my career progressed, I continued investing in advanced education, eventually becoming an Advanced Nail Technician™ and Medical Nail Technician™ through Nailcare Academy. Those programs taught me something that completely changed the way I viewed infection prevention. There is a significant difference between sanitation, disinfection, and sterilization. Those three terms are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same. I also began learning more about how microorganisms behave and how certain tools present unique challenges when it comes to proper processing between clients. The metal ferrule that tightly holds the bristles together creates areas that are extremely difficult to clean thoroughly. Debris and moisture can become trapped where the bristles meet the ferrule, making complete disinfection difficult. Unlike many metal implements used in professional nail care, these brushes are not designed to be sterilized in an autoclave. The more I learned, the more uncomfortable I became with the idea of one cleanup brush being used on hundreds of clients every month. That feeling never left me. When I opened NuFeet Medical Pedicures® in 2012, I found myself purchasing the very same cleanup brushes I had used in school, not because I liked them, but because I could not find anything better. I searched for years. I spoke with manufacturers, tested different brush styles, and experimented with materials, bristle lengths, and construction. Nothing provided the precision I needed while solving the concern that had bothered me since nail school. Eventually, I reached a conclusion: if the product I wanted did not exist, I would have to create it. That decision led to the development of the Disposable Mini Brush™ in 2016. The very first time I used one, I knew I had solved a problem that had followed me throughout my career. Instead of reaching for a brush that had been used before, I could confidently grab a fresh Disposable Mini Brush™, complete the polish cleanup, and discard it after the service. There was no worrying about the previous client or wondering whether the brush had been adequately processed. Just one brush for one client. It transformed one of the smallest steps of a manicure or pedicure into one I no longer dreaded. At first, the Disposable Mini Brush™ was simply something I used in my own treatment room. Then, it became standard throughout NuFeet as the practice grew. Eventually, sixteen of my Medical Nail Technicians were using them every day. Before long, other professionals began asking where they could purchase them. I started providing samples to local salons, and word spread quickly. What started as a solution for my own practice soon became a product requested by professionals across the country. Today, the Disposable Mini Brush™ remains the number one selling product under the NuFeet brand and has become one of the most recognised disposable cleanup brushes in the nail industry. What makes me most proud is not the sales. It is the problem the brush solves. Cross-contamination is something every nail professional should take seriously. The Disposable Mini Brush™ offers a simple, practical way to eliminate one more opportunity for contamination during a manicure or pedicure while still providing the precision needed for beautiful polish application. What surprised me most was discovering how many other professionals found uses for it. Mobile makeup artists use the brushes for lipstick, concealer, and eye shadow applications. Wig stylists use them to create precise hair parts and apply concealing products. DIY enthusiasts have incorporated them into craft projects requiring fine detail. Even consumers polishing their own nails at home have become loyal customers. Because the bristles are acetone-resistant, many people reuse the same brush multiple times on themselves before discarding it. When used by only one individual, it remains an incredibly economical tool. Looking back, I realise the Disposable Mini Brush™ was never really about a brush. It was about solving a problem that had bothered me since the very beginning of my career. The same mindset that led me to develop the concept of the Medical Pedicure® also led me to create this product. Both were born from asking a simple question: “There has to be a better way.” The Medical Pedicure® challenged how our industry thought about collaborative foot care. The Disposable Mini Brush™ challenged how we thought about one of the smallest yet most overlooked opportunities for cross-contamination in everyday nail services. Neither idea happened overnight. Both were built on years of education, real client experiences, countless conversations with manufacturers, personal investment, and an unwavering commitment to improving safety and professionalism within the nail industry. Innovation is not about copying what someone else has already created. It is about recognising a problem, investing the time to understand it, and having the determination to develop a solution that genuinely improves an industry. That philosophy has guided my career from the beginning. Whether introducing the Medical Pedicure® concept in 2012 or developing the Disposable Mini Brush™, my goal has never been to follow trends. It has always been to solve problems others simply accepted as “the way things have always been.” The greatest compliment is not when someone copies an idea. It is when an innovation raises the standard for an entire profession. My hope is that the Disposable Mini Brush™ continues doing exactly that for many years to come. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Erika Allison Erika Allison, Founder of NuFeet Medical Pedicures® Erika Allison is the founder of NuFeet Medical Pedicures® and creator of the medical pedicure business model. In 2012, she introduced a private, condition-based approach to pedicures that helped bridge the gap between the beauty and medical industries through physician collaboration and specialized foot care services. As an educator, speaker, inventor, and entrepreneur, she has trained professionals worldwide and developed innovative programs and products that have helped reshape the pedicure industry. Through her courses, consulting, and live events, Erika continues to advance professional standards and elevate the way pedicures are delivered around the world.