Written by Jonathan Rose, Mental Health Advocate & Public Speaker Jonathan Rose is redefining what it means to win beyond the field. A 104th Grey Cup Champion turned founder of Prove Yourself Right Inc., he’s a voice for resilience, mental health, and community impact, bridging elite performance with purpose-driven leadership that inspires the next generation. Jonathan Rose is more than a former professional athlete. He is a father, husband, son, nephew, and friend, and each of those roles carries a responsibility that extends beyond the individual. One of the realities often overlooked in conversations about masculinity and personal development is that the roles we occupy create responsibilities to the people connected to us. Becoming a better man is therefore not simply about personal achievement. It is about developing the character, emotional maturity, discipline, and spiritual foundation necessary to serve the people entrusted to you. For Rose, that realization emerged through a journey that moved far beyond football. His athletic career exposed him to the demands of performance, discipline, sacrifice, competition, and resilience. But it also introduced deeper questions: Who am I when I am no longer an athlete? What does masculinity look like outside of competition? Who am I becoming spiritually? As a committed Christian, Rose describes a period in his life when his actions and desires had moved further away from the man he believed God was calling him to become. The pursuit of earthly and fleshly desires began competing with the values he understood to be righteous and purposeful. That tension became the beginning of a deeper transformation. Insight: Identity cannot be built entirely around achievement Athletes are often trained to measure themselves through performance: wins, statistics, contracts, championships, recognition, and physical ability. Those measurements can be powerful motivators, but they can also become dangerous when they become the foundation of identity. When the career ends, the scoreboard disappears. The deeper question becomes: Who are you when nobody is watching, and there is nothing left to prove? For Rose, answering that question required rebuilding his identity from the inside out. Iron sharpens iron Stepping away from football created something Rose had rarely possessed during his playing career: space to examine himself. The pace of professional athletics can leave little room for reflection. Training, recovery, travel, competition, performance expectations, and maintaining an athlete’s lifestyle can create an environment where survival and achievement take priority over introspection. Retirement changed that. A career-ending injury brought Rose’s football career to an end, but it also created an opportunity to confront characteristics and behaviors that had previously gone overlooked. He began asking what it would actually take to become the man capable of leading a family, not simply the bachelor athlete accustomed to living for the next game, contract, workout, or personal objective. This was not an overnight transformation. It was a process of deconstruction and reconstruction. Rose had to confront the version of himself he had become comfortable with and determine whether that version was capable of carrying the responsibility attached to his next chapter. Through friendships with former teammates, athletes, and other men, he began pursuing a deeper relationship with God. The objective was not to abandon the strength developed through athletics, but to discover a different kind of strength, one rooted in faith, character, discipline, and purpose. Insight: Physical strength has a ceiling Athletic strength can help a man endure physical adversity. But life eventually presents challenges that cannot be solved through physical ability. Relationships require communication. Fatherhood requires patience. Marriage requires humility. Leadership requires accountability. Spiritual growth requires surrender. Emotional maturity requires self-awareness. The strongest version of a man is not necessarily the strongest physically. It is the man whose character can carry the weight of his responsibilities. Answering the call Even after retirement, Rose remained physically active and continued working with athletes who were either still competing or navigating the transition out of sport. Something became increasingly obvious. People were watching him. They saw that he remained physically disciplined. They saw him functioning beyond football. They saw a former professional athlete developing a life that was not dependent on the game that had once defined him. They wanted to know how. That question became particularly significant when Rose reconnected with former teammate Dominique Rhymes. Rhymes was approaching the end of his football career while simultaneously preparing to become a father. The combination created a profound identity shift. He was not simply preparing to leave professional football. He was preparing to enter an entirely different responsibility as a man, husband, and father. Like many athletes facing transition, uncertainty began to challenge his confidence. Rhymes looked toward someone who had already walked through the transition. Rose offered perspective, not because he had mastered every aspect of life, but because he understood what it meant to lose one identity and intentionally build another. That conversation planted a larger idea. What if men did not have to navigate these transitions alone? What if there were a community where men could challenge one another, train together, talk honestly, pursue God, and develop the character necessary to handle life beyond their previous identities? Resilience Brotherhood Group was born from that question. RBG: Fitness as the entry point, brotherhood as the foundation The original vision for Resilience Brotherhood Group (RBG) was simple: create a place where men could become more connected with themselves through physical activity. For Rose, fitness boxing became an unexpected vehicle for that transformation. After years of high-impact football, his body could no longer tolerate every training method he had relied upon during his playing career. He needed an outlet that could provide the intensity and performance-oriented environment he craved without demanding that his body operate as though he were still in professional football. That search eventually led him to The Rig Boxing in Ottawa. What began as something Rose was willing to try became a passion. He continued showing up. Eventually, he began bringing others. One particular workout with a friend revealed something bigger than the physical benefits of training. The environment created an opportunity for conversation, vulnerability, and fellowship. Rose shared how studying Scripture and deepening his relationship with God had helped him navigate a difficult season of his life. He began to recognize that the same principles he had learned through athletic development, discipline, consistency, accountability, repetition, and resilience could also be applied to spiritual and personal development. The equation became clear: strong mind, strong body, strong spirit. Insight: Fitness can create the environment for vulnerability Men often connect most naturally through activity. Training gives people something to do together before asking them to talk about what they are going through. That matters. A workout can lower barriers. Repetition can create familiarity. Shared discomfort can create trust. Trust creates the conditions for meaningful conversations. RBG uses fitness not as the destination, but as the doorway into deeper brotherhood. Better together Jonathan Rose and Dominique Rhymes recognized that what they were experiencing could not remain limited to their own friendship. They wanted to build an ecosystem for men who were serious about becoming better versions of themselves. RBG was designed around Fitness, Faith, Fellowship, and Accountability. The goal is not superiority. It is not about one group of men claiming to have everything figured out. It is about recognizing a fundamental truth: men need men. Even highly accomplished men experience uncertainty. Even disciplined men experience weakness. Even leaders need accountability. Even strong men need somewhere they can be honest. RBG seeks to create an environment where men can challenge one another without tearing one another down, encourage one another without enabling complacency, and hold one another accountable without judgment becoming the foundation of the relationship. The philosophy is rooted in the biblical principle of “iron sharpens iron.” Iron does not sharpen iron through comfort. There is friction. There is pressure. There is resistance. Through that process, both pieces can become more effective. That is the vision behind Resilience Brotherhood Group. Not perfection, but preparation. Not competition against one another, but competition with the limitations within ourselves. Not proving that one man is better than another, but proving that every man has the capacity to grow. The bigger mission RBG exists because the transition from one version of yourself to another can be difficult, and men should not have to navigate that transition in isolation. For athletes, that transition may come when the game ends. For fathers, it may come when a child is born. For husbands, it may come when marriage exposes areas of immaturity. For professionals, it may come when a career changes. For anyone, it may come when life forces the realization that the person you have been is not necessarily the person you are called to become. That is where resilience matters. Resilience is not simply the ability to withstand pressure. It is the capacity to be transformed by pressure without allowing pressure to destroy your purpose. Rose’s journey from professional football to fatherhood, faith, fitness, and community illustrates that transformation. The game may have ended, but the mission did not. Through Resilience Brotherhood Group, that mission has become bigger than one man’s story. It is an invitation to men to show up, train hard, seek God, build meaningful relationships, confront themselves honestly, and become capable of carrying the responsibilities attached to the lives they are building. Because sometimes the next level of a man’s life does not require him to become someone completely different. It requires him to become more fully who he was created to be. Resilience Brotherhood Group represents Fitness, Faith, and Fellowship. Iron sharpens iron, and we become better together. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jonathan Rose Jonathan Rose, Mental Health Advocate & Public Speaker Jonathan Rose is the founder of Prove Yourself Right Inc., a purpose-driven brand empowering individuals through discipline, accountability, and personal growth. A 104th Grey Cup Champion, mental health activist, and Community Relations Representative, he continues to inspire impact beyond the game.

Written by Eszter Noble, Clinical Hypnotherapist & Coach Eszter Noble is a Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) practitioner, clinical hypnotherapist, and coach specializing in anxiety, fears, and depression. Her method utilizes effective techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), neuro linguistic programming (NLP), psychotherapy, and hypnotherapy, with the ability to provide freedom from any issues and deliver permanent, lasting solutions. On paper, everything looks perfect. The business is thriving, the title is impressive, and the bank account is secure. Yet inside, there’s a constant hum of tension, a feeling that if you stop pushing, everything could collapse. This is the hidden anxiety of success: the more you achieve externally, the more exposed, responsible, and vulnerable you feel internally. The paradox of external success vs. internal unrest For many high achievers, success does not bring relief. It amplifies vigilance. Every decision feels heavier. Every stakeholder, dependency, and risk becomes another thread you’re convinced you must hold. The paradox is simple but painful: the more you “have it all together,” the less safe you feel inside. I worked with a client who recognised from a young age that he experienced obsessive thoughts. For years, he assumed this was simply part of how his mind worked, perhaps even an advantage. His ability to focus intensely on ideas and projects helped him build a successful technology company that he led as its founder and Chief Executive Officer (CEO). But over time, the same mental intensity became increasingly difficult to manage. He has described how his obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) developed into extreme anxiety, with the threat of panic attacks becoming a persistent fear. The mind that had once helped him analyse problems and pursue ambitious goals began generating an endless stream of internal alarms. This is a very familiar pattern among high achievers. The qualities that help someone build a company – intense focus, attention to detail, relentless problem solving, and an unwillingness to overlook risk can become exhausting when they are no longer voluntary. These feelings aren’t necessarily visible from the outside. He was still leading a company and making important decisions. Yet internally, he was dealing with thoughts and sensations that almost always felt urgent, frightening, and impossible to switch off. His experience challenges the assumption that achievement is evidence of emotional wellbeing. Someone can be highly capable, intellectually gifted, and outwardly successful while privately struggling with panic, obsessive thoughts, and fear. Why high achievers still feel out of control High achievement is rarely accidental. It’s built on patterns that, in the right context, are powerful assets, including relentless self-discipline, hyperawareness of risk, perfectionism and high standards, and a drive to optimize and improve. These traits help you win in competitive environments. But they also condition your nervous system to live in a state of chronic alert. Your brain learns: “Safety = control. Control = constant monitoring.” At higher levels of responsibility, the stakes feel larger, so the monitoring system turns up the volume. You start to feel like you’re managing an ever-expanding list of “what ifs.” Even when things are going well, your mind is scanning for the next threat, the next flaw, or the next thing that could go wrong. That’s why success can feel like running faster on a treadmill that keeps speeding up. The external results improve, but the internal experience is one of precarity, not peace. Control-driven patterns and the OCD spectrum Many high achievers display control-driven patterns that may resemble obsessive-compulsive tendencies, even if they don’t meet the full clinical criteria for OCD. These patterns often include: Intrusive “what if” thoughts about mistakes, failure, or reputational damage Compulsive checking, overpreparing, and reworking Mental rituals, such as rehearsing conversations, reviewing decisions, and auditing performance Difficulty delegating because “no one else will do it right” In a startup or early career phase, these tendencies can feel like superpowers. They help you avoid costly errors and outperform peers. But as responsibility grows, the same patterns can become amplified. More people depend on your decisions, leading to more mental rehearsal and second-guessing. More complex systems can lead to more checking, more lists, and more contingency plans. Greater visibility can create more fear of being “found out” or making a public mistake. Over time, the brain’s threat system can become overtrained. It may start to interpret normal uncertainty as danger. The result is a highly functioning but internally exhausted leader who feels secretly out of control, despite outward evidence of competence and often envied success. The subconscious script behind the anxiety Much of this anxiety is not conscious. It’s driven by subconscious beliefs formed early in life, often around themes like, “I must be perfect to be safe, loved, or accepted,” “If I relax, something bad will happen,” “My worth depends on my performance,” and “I can trust only myself.” These beliefs become the operating system running beneath your success. They’re not flaws. They were adaptive strategies. At some point, they helped you survive, stand out, or gain approval. But now, they’re misaligned with your current reality. Your conscious mind knows you’re successful. Your subconscious still believes you’re one mistake away from catastrophe. That mismatch creates the internal unrest so many high achievers describe: “I know I should feel fine, but I don’t.” Why willpower and logic aren’t enough High achievers often try to solve this with more control, more planning, more optimization, more self-discipline, and more self-critique. But anxiety rooted in subconscious safety scripts doesn’t respond well to logic. You can’t argue your nervous system into feeling safe. Telling yourself “you’re fine” while your body is braced for disaster only creates more internal conflict. This is why many high-performing clients describe feeling “stuck.” They’ve mastered the external game, but the internal rules haven’t updated. The old survival program is still running in the background, interpreting success as risk, not safety. How subconscious reprogramming restores internal safety Subconscious reprogramming works by updating those deep safety scripts, not by adding more rules, but by changing the meaning your nervous system assigns to success, uncertainty, and relaxation. Some of the most important steps to overcome such anxiety typically involve identifying the root belief, reframing its meaning, installing new safety cues, and rewiring the response to uncertainty. 1. Identifying the root belief Through guided access to key memories and patterns, you uncover the original moments when beliefs like “I must be perfect to be safe” or “I can’t trust anyone else with this” were formed. Often, these trace back to childhood experiences, family dynamics, or early failures that felt catastrophic at the time. Seeing the origin of the belief helps your brain recognize, “This was then. This is not an accurate rule for my life now.” 2. Reframing the meaning Once you become aware of the belief, it can be challenged and rewritten. For example, “If I relax, things will fall apart” can become “My best work comes from clarity, not constant tension.” “My worth depends on my performance” can become “I am valuable regardless of outcomes. My work is an expression, not a verdict.” “I must control everything to be safe” can become “I can influence what matters and allow the rest to unfold.” These aren’t just affirmations. They’re new, empowering instructions to your subconscious about what “safety” actually looks like in your current life. 3. Installing new safety cues Reprogramming then anchors these new beliefs with emotional and somatic experiences of safety. This can include guided visualizations where success coexists with calm, hypnotic or deep relaxation states where the body learns it can rest without catastrophe, and repeated mental rehearsals of delegating, trusting, and allowing imperfection without disaster. Over time, the nervous system starts to associate high responsibility with feeling grounded instead of experiencing threat or impending doom. 4. Rewiring the response to uncertainty Where the old pattern was uncertainty, anxiety, and control behaviours, the new pattern becomes uncertainty, curiosity, and calibrated action. You still plan, prepare, and perform, but from a place of choice, not panic. Mistakes become data, not evidence of danger. Delegation becomes leverage, not risk. What changes when internal safety is restored When your subconscious script updates, the external life often looks similar, but the internal experience has transformed. You can step back without feeling guilty or terrified. You delegate without micromanaging every detail. You make decisions with clarity, then let them go instead of endlessly rehearsing them. You feel successful and relaxed, not successful but anxious. Success stops being a performance you must constantly prove and starts being a platform you can actually enjoy. If you recognize yourself in this description, know this: your anxiety is not a character flaw. It’s a sign that your internal safety system is still running an old program designed for a different version of your life that is no longer relevant or helpful. You don’t need more pressure. You simply need an update. Subconscious reprogramming offers a way to keep your drive, discipline, and vision while releasing the hidden cost, the constant inner sense that you’re barely holding it together. The goal isn’t to become less ambitious. It’s to become ambitious and at peace, because the next level of your success isn’t just bigger results. It’s the ability to finally feel safe inside them. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Eszter Noble Eszter Noble, Clinical Hypnotherapist & Coach Eszter Noble is an established Clinical Hypnotherapist using the RTT® (Rapid Transformational Therapy) method, trained by world-renowned hypnotherapist Marisa Peer. She is known for handling extremely difficult cases and clients who have been stuck for years and have tried it all. Specializing in anxiety, fears, and depression, she is extremely intuitive and honest, dedicated to empowering her clients to become the best possible versions of themselves. Offering her expertise in English, German, and Hungarian, Eszter’s mission is to take the taboo out of therapy.

Written by Melinda Thomas, Empowerment Coach for Women Melinda Thomas is an Empowerment Coach for Women, Sacred Activations Practitioner, Medical Intuitive Activations Practitioner, and intuitive channel helping women get unstuck, reclaim their inner power, and rise beyond survival mode through subtle or profound energetic shifts, without retelling or reliving past pain. What if your purpose in life is revealed by trusting yourself and having the courage to take one step after another? Sometimes, what feels like the destination is preparing us for what comes next. Is purpose really a destination? For some of us, purpose is imagined as a fixed destination: A career. A job. A business. A title. A niche. We believe that once we arrive, we’ll feel fulfilled and at peace. We sometimes become so focused on reaching that imagined destination that we don’t notice what is unfolding in front of us. What if our purpose is revealed not by arriving at a destination, but by trusting ourselves enough to take the next step, guided by our gut feeling and inner wisdom? Perhaps it begins with listening. Listening to the quiet inner voice that keeps returning. Sometimes it whispers. Other times, it begins to shout, asking us to pay attention, stay present, and remain open to what comes next. What if purpose unfolds one stepping stone at a time? Like many people, I had a vision for the life I wanted to live. What I couldn’t see were the unexpected moments that would quietly, and at times loudly, shape the journey. Looking back, I realise life was unfolding for me, not against me. I just couldn’t see it at the time. It’s often only in hindsight that we recognise the significance of what we once overlooked. Learning to trust our inner wisdom can be one of the most empowering choices we make. This isn’t to say purpose can’t be expressed through a career, business, or job. For many people, it is. It’s simply an invitation to stay open to the possibility that it may also unfold in unexpected ways. Perhaps what we once believed was the destination was simply the right place for a season of life, until something new began to emerge. When inner wisdom challenges the plan The challenge is that the next step doesn’t always make sense. Your intuition may encourage you to apply for a job that seems unrelated to your long-term goals. It may invite you to start a conversation with someone you’ve never met. It may ask you to volunteer, enrol in a course, move house, begin something new, or slow down. Immediately, the mind begins its protest: “That doesn’t fit my plan.” “People will think I’m going backwards.” “I have responsibilities.” “What if it doesn’t work?” So we ignore our inner wisdom. We push it away, even when it keeps returning. We often silence our inner wisdom because it doesn’t match the story we’ve created or the expectations of those around us. Why? Because many of us are taught that life is about avoiding discomfort and pursuing happiness as the ultimate goal. Yet perhaps life isn’t asking us to avoid discomfort. Maybe it’s asking us to trust that discomfort isn’t the end of the story. Sometimes, beneath it is the growth that brings us back to ourselves. When life takes you somewhere unexpected Years ago, I was working in a training position that was due to finish within days, and I needed to find another job. One day, I came across an advertisement in the local paper for a position in a particular industry in a neighbouring town. The advertisement didn’t name the business, but I knew there were only two businesses in that industry. I visited the first business, but it had no positions available. The second business was directly across the road. I handed in my resume and was asked to take a seat while a staff member spoke with the manager. As I sat in that waiting room, an incredible sense of peace came over me. I can’t explain it any other way. I simply knew I was exactly where I was meant to be. This was the business the advertisement had been referring to. I was offered the position and remained there for the next five years. Looking back, I realise it wasn’t just about finding a job. Those years became a pivotal point in my life. I later recognised that I had been guided there for a reason. During that time, I met someone who would support me through one of the most challenging periods of my life. Why the next step can matter more than the whole path Sometimes we know, deep down, that we’re being called in a particular direction. Yet fear of disappointing others or stepping outside expectations keeps some of us standing still. We continue living a life that looks right from the outside while quietly wondering what might have happened if we had trusted ourselves. Or, perhaps even more heartbreakingly, we quietly let the dream slip away without ever discovering where it may have led. That doesn’t mean every intuitive whisper should be acted on without thought or discernment. It does mean we can become curious enough to listen and explore what might be possible. Sometimes one small step is all that’s required. One conversation. One application. One phone call. One decision. One act of courage. From stuck to shifting What happens when we feel like we’re taking action on the stepping stones appearing before us, yet the outcome we’re hoping for still doesn’t unfold? At times, we push and push, trying every possible way to create the outcome we want. Frustration begins to build, and what once felt like flow can start to feel like forcing. Perhaps that’s a sign that it’s time to stop forcing. To stop forcing doesn’t always mean stopping action altogether. Sometimes it means stepping away to reassess what is working and what isn’t. Sometimes, stepping away allows us to see the bigger picture. We begin to notice what we may have been missing and gain a deeper understanding of why things haven’t yet fallen into place. Perhaps the next stepping stone hasn’t revealed itself yet, or maybe we’re only seeing part of it. One of the clearest signs I’ve noticed that I’m returning to flow is when the gap between some of my thoughts and their manifestation in reality becomes shorter. Then something shifts. I don’t always know when or why, but a quiet inner knowing returns. The signposts become clearer. The next step no longer feels forced. Sometimes the next step becomes clearer, not because we tried harder, but because we stopped forcing what wasn’t flowing. When we find the courage to listen to our inner wisdom and take the next step, life often begins arranging circumstances in ways we could never have orchestrated ourselves. Opportunities appear. The right people arrive. What once felt like mountains somehow begins to move. Places where we once felt stuck can begin to shift. Listening to our inner wisdom isn’t always comfortable. The path can be unpredictable. There can be potholes, unexpected turns, steep climbs, and moments when you wonder if you’ve lost your way. But I’ve also found that it leads to a life that feels more like your own. Not perfect. Just more true. Less stuck. More shifting. More like you. Maybe the path is the purpose Perhaps your next stepping stone doesn’t look like the one you expected. Maybe that’s exactly the point. The stepping stones aren’t taking you away from your purpose. They’re revealing it. Trust doesn’t require seeing the whole path. It simply asks you to take the next step. Perhaps the journey was never about reaching a destination. Maybe it’s about discovering the courage and self-trust within you to let your inner wisdom guide you on your path, so you can come home to the real you. Reflection What might your inner wisdom be revealing that you haven’t yet explored? If this article resonated with you, join our community, Rise Within, Glow Without – Movement for Women in Mind, Body & Soul. Stand tall. Stand out. Stay true. Follow me on Facebook for more info! Read more from Melinda Thomas Melinda Thomas, Empowerment Coach for Women Melinda Thomas is an Empowerment Coach for Women, Sacred Activations Practitioner, Medical Intuitive Activations Practitioner, intuitive channel, and founder of the Rise Within, Glow Without movement for women. Through empowerment coaching, Sacred Activations, and intuitive guidance, she helps women get unstuck, reclaim their inner power, and rise beyond survival mode through subtle or profound energetic shifts, without touch, retelling, or reliving past pain. She passionately believes healing does not need to take years, and women do not have to feel alone in their growth journey. Through her work and writing, Melinda encourages women to stand tall, stand out, and stay true.

Written by David Mahler, Recovery Coach, Sober Companion & Addiction Awareness Facilitator David Mahler is a Board-Certified Addiction Recovery Coach dedicated to helping individuals and families overcome the challenges of substance use disorder. Combining professional expertise with lived experience, he empowers people to rebuild their lives and find lasting hope in recovery. Most workplace crises don't begin at work. They begin quietly, and the opportunity to help often appears long before a situation reaches the breaking point. Having the right support in place can make it easier for employees and families to seek help before personal challenges become workplace crises. A marriage is falling apart. A son or daughter is struggling with substance use. Drinking that was once social is becoming more frequent. Anxiety or stress is getting harder to manage. A family member is facing a mental health challenge. Someone who has always been dependable suddenly isn't sleeping well, isn't concentrating, and isn't quite themselves. Eventually, those struggles can walk through the workplace door. Employers may see the effects in different ways: absenteeism, declining performance, disengagement, strained relationships with coworkers, increased stress, or an employee who simply seems different. Most employers genuinely want to help. Many already provide health insurance, Employee Assistance Programs, mental health benefits, and other valuable resources as part of their employee wellness programs. Yet even with those benefits in place, an important question remains: Does the employee actually know where to turn, and are they comfortable enough to reach out before the situation becomes a crisis? That may be the missing link in workplace wellness. The gap between having resources and using them We sometimes assume that because a resource exists, someone who needs it will use it. Human behavior doesn't always work that way. Imagine an employee who realizes his drinking is beginning to concern him. He isn't sure whether he has a serious problem. He doesn't believe he needs treatment, and he certainly isn't ready to walk into Human Resources (HR) and announce that he's worried about his alcohol use. Where does he start? Or consider an employee whose adult daughter is struggling with substance use. The employee isn't the one with the substance use problem, but every night is filled with worry. Phone calls interrupt the workday. Sleep becomes difficult. Concentration suffers. The employee may have benefits available, but what they really need at that moment is someone who understands the situation and can help them determine what to do next. The same can be true for someone experiencing overwhelming stress, a mental health concern, a family crisis, or the early signs that something in their life is beginning to get out of control. Sometimes people aren't ready for treatment or therapy. Sometimes they don't even know what kind of help they need. They simply need a place to start. Very often, that starting point is another human being. Support before a crisis Too often, help enters the picture after something has already happened. An employee misses several days of work. There is an incident on the job. A family situation reaches a breaking point. Substance use becomes impossible to hide. Performance deteriorates enough that a manager or HR professional has to intervene. At that point, everyone is reacting to a crisis. What if support were available earlier? There is a valuable window between "I'm fine" and "I need treatment." It is the period when someone begins recognizing that something isn't right but may not yet know what to do about it. That is where human connection can make a significant difference. A confidential conversation can help someone slow things down, look at what is happening, understand the available options, and determine an appropriate next step. That next step might be counseling. It might be an Employee Assistance Program. It could be a support group, recovery coaching, medical care, a treatment assessment, or another community resource. The purpose isn't to diagnose the employee or replace professional treatment. The purpose is to help the person take the next right step. Why an ongoing workplace wellness partnership matters There is another challenge employers face. When a serious situation arises, HR or management may suddenly find themselves trying to locate resources while also managing the workplace issue in front of them. That isn't the ideal time to begin searching for help. An ongoing workplace wellness partnership allows an organization to establish that relationship before it is needed. Instead of asking, "Who can we call?" when a problem occurs, the answer already exists. A recovery and wellness professional can become an additional resource for employees, family members, managers, and HR, not as a replacement for existing benefits, but as a bridge to them. For employees, that can mean confidential access to someone who will listen without judgment and help them understand their options. For HR and management, it can mean having someone to consult when they recognize that an employee may be struggling but aren't sure what type of resource might be appropriate. For family members, it can provide direction at a time when they may feel frightened, frustrated, or overwhelmed. That is why I prefer the word partnership. The goal isn't simply to provide another phone number. It is to build a relationship between the organization and a trusted resource that is already in place when someone needs help. Putting a face to the support An effective workplace wellness partnership shouldn't exist only when someone is already struggling. It should also be proactive. That is why workplace education and training can be such an important part of the relationship. Education may address substance use in the workplace, mental health awareness, recognizing when someone may be struggling, supporting a coworker in crisis, reducing stigma, recovery in the workplace, and understanding when and how to seek help. Whenever possible and appropriate, I believe there is tremendous value in bringing that education into the workplace in person. For organizations outside the immediate area, that may mean traveling to a company location to meet employees and provide workplace substance use and wellness education. Why does that matter? Because now the resource has a face. An employee may sit through a workplace presentation today thinking, "This really doesn't apply to me." Six months later, that same employee, or someone they love, may be struggling. Reaching out can feel very different when the person on the other end of the phone isn't a complete stranger. They may remember the person who stood in front of their workplace and spoke openly about substance use, mental health, stress, stigma, recovery, and asking for help. Trust is easier to build before the crisis than during it. The struggle may belong to someone at home Workplace wellness also shouldn't stop with the employee. Sometimes the employee isn't the person struggling with substance use or a mental health concern. It may be their spouse, their child, their parent, or someone else they love. Anyone who has watched a family member struggle knows that the effects don't remain neatly contained at home. Fear, sleeplessness, financial concerns, difficult phone calls, and uncertainty can follow a person into work every day. Providing guidance to family members can therefore be an important part of employee mental health and wellness support. Helping a parent understand what resources may be available for a struggling son or daughter doesn't just help that family. It may also help that employee remain healthier, more focused, and better supported. Not another benefit, a bridge to the benefits you already have Employers may reasonably ask, "If we already have an EAP and mental health benefits, why would we need something else?" The answer is that a workplace wellness partnership shouldn't compete with those resources. It should help people reach them. A recovery and wellness coach isn't a therapist, physician, treatment center, or HR professional. There will be situations that require clinical or medical care, and recognizing when someone needs a higher level of support is essential. The missing piece is often navigation. People need someone who can listen to what is happening, help them understand their choices, and connect them with the appropriate resource. In that sense, the coach becomes a bridge between struggling and asking for help, between uncertainty and direction, and sometimes between crisis and the opportunity to intervene earlier. Creating a culture where asking for help is a strength There was a time when workplace wellness largely meant physical health. Today, employers increasingly recognize that people bring their whole lives to work. Organizations don't have to solve every personal problem their employees face. Nor should they try. But they can create a culture where employees know that when life becomes difficult, asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. Sometimes one confidential conversation is enough to get someone moving in the right direction. Sometimes a manager simply needs guidance about where to point someone. Sometimes a frightened family member needs to hear, "Here are your options. Let's figure out what makes sense." Sometimes an employee needs to know that they don't have to wait until everything falls apart before reaching out. That is the opportunity I believe exists in workplace wellness today. We have benefits. We have programs. We have resources. Perhaps the missing link is making sure there is a human connection between the person who is struggling and the help that is already available. Because the best time to establish that connection isn't after the crisis. It's before it. Is your organization ready to add the human connection to workplace wellness? A Ground Zero Workplace Wellness Partnership gives employers a trusted resource for confidential employee and family support, HR and management guidance, resource navigation, and workplace education and training, all designed to help people reach appropriate support before a personal challenge becomes a workplace crisis. "You take care of your business. We help you take care of your people." Learn more about the Ground Zero Workplace Wellness Partnership Follow me on LinkedIn for more info! Read more from David Mahler David Mahler, Recovery Coach, Sober Companion & Addiction Awareness Facilitator My coaching approach is rooted in building trust and openness with clients, drawing from my experience with both those struggling with substance use disorder and their families. My coaching journey through my own battle with substance abuse, my career's survival through national tragedy, and my relentless support in my daughter's fight against substance abuse have equipped me with invaluable insights into the recovery process.

Written by Carlo Cecchetti, Relational Landscape Facilitator and Coach Carlo Cecchetti facilitates relational natural landscaping resonant with the Earth's consciousness and resources. Founder of Integral Gardens, Carlos's work is expressed through the human body, relational energetic containers, and systemic landscape to channel energies of belonging. In this article, I share observations and offer possibilities from my systemic work with traditions, both as material and immaterial heritage. As humanity faces global challenges by increasing systemic coherence within its diverse local approaches, traditions, which form the rich fabric of our societies, will play a critical role. In my work, time and time again, I find that traditions are, at their core, already evolutionary and in service of life. The dilemma between tradition and progress is simply a false choice that hinders more possibilities going forward. What is tradition? A quick artificial intelligence enquiry says that tradition is “derived from the Latin word tradere, meaning to hand over or transmit. As cultural continuity, traditions are the stories, values, and practices that connect one generation to the next, building a shared identity within a community or family.” A central entanglement that can emerge from systemic explorations is belonging being conditional on blindly following what is described and seen as “tradition.” Systemically, this has nothing to do with tradition itself. It has to do with survival and the beliefs attached to it. “Life is not a gift, and it comes with debt and sacrifice” Within this context, it is also possible to find conscious and unconscious beliefs and practices that maintain that life is not a gift but comes with debt and sacrifice. This poses significant systemic challenges that can be overcome through systemic explorations and practices, where embracing guilt, contrary to common beliefs, can become a powerful ally and enable us to move forward. Survival and the fear of not surviving are at the base of our most visceral instincts, beliefs, and reactions. They are strong, powerful forces in service of the foundations of life, security, and belonging. When left unattended, these forces can also hold us back from moving forward when needed, and traditions are built directly on these foundations. What I offer When required, my work with traditions starts with restoring their original systemic fields as self-organising organisms in service of humanity’s evolution, renewing themselves within their original living landscape. This original living landscape is the web of life sustained by the Earth’s life force as a conscious living organism itself. This is why I see tradition as naturally being an Earth tradition. This initial restoration naturally comes back to life when the Earth dimension, with its own life force, is included by the practitioner in the systemic practice before starting the work for the client. This is not always present in every systemic practice. When I work with the Earth dimension, I also include the dimension of being held by universal gravitational forces. This facilitates greater liberation for systemic individuation and belonging at the same time. Nobody can be excluded from accessing support from their own systems of origin! Because the tradition’s systemic field reactivates itself within the Earth’s natural web of life, the tradition’s own field can directly access wider systemic fields and cocreate with the Earth’s systemic capacity to attract opportunities for its own evolution. This means expanding its capacity to increase relational value, which can also result in increased financial value. Because of the depth of my work in restoring traditions’ original foundations, finding and unlocking embedded ancient resources becomes more likely. This contributes to a greater return on investment when working with more ancient, declining, or blocked assets, whether they are material or immaterial. I offer my services through my own individual work with the field or as part of a team. I can also provide collaboration and training, if required, to stakeholders, management, teams, practitioners, and others. A tradition can be a family, an organisation, a building with a legacy, a single product or service, a practice, a friendship, a group, or a community. The original core of traditions honours the Earth as our common host of life, with its self-regenerative nature, as well as our human need to be part of it and live in resonance with it. This means that a tradition can simultaneously serve its own identity, evolution, financial health, wider community, and ecological sustainability. The presence of colonial and religious traumas Two major systemic layers present in the fabric of many traditions are colonial and religious traumas. While their presence provides a deep sense of shared history, identity, stability, and belonging well beyond their official boundaries, these unresolved collective traumas can also create repeating patterns that pose challenges and hold back the evolution of traditions within our societies. Without needing to describe the historical dynamics of these traumas in traditions, I am highlighting here how my work provides access to dimensions and energies that support attending, emergence, processing, and transformation on an Earth scale. By working systemically and with intention, it is possible to preserve continuity and belonging while finding ways to move forward. If this article inspired you or you would like more information, feel free to contact me. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Carlo Cecchetti Carlo Cecchetti, Relational Landscape Facilitator and Coach Carlo Cecchetti specializes in human relational abilities resonant with the Earth's consciousness and resources. Born in a family of landscape designers, his personal development led him to help people remember themselves being held at One with the Earth. Founder of Integral Gardens, Carlo's work delivers through the human body, relational containers, and bespoke systemic landscapes to anchor and channel unique energies of belonging.

Arlene considers herself to be a 'Jack of all trades' who has had an eclectic variety of jobs, including nursery school teacher for 20 years, freelance writer and ghostwriter, event planner, bar worker, and, in the last 10 years, working with the elderly and those living with dementia. Arlene Dawn Porter, Spiritual Teacher, Healer, Writer & Psychic How would you describe the spiritual work you do today and what you hope people receive from it? My spiritual work is extremely varied and diverse. I’m grateful that no two experiences are the same. It’s always difficult to describe what I do, but my work is focused on healing the mind, body and soul through inner child healing, past life healing, energy healing and spiritual guidance. I also help people see love in a whole new way, not just in the romantic sense, but in terms of how powerful love can be, both as a healer and as a way to manifest your dream life. Love is truly the motivation behind everything I do, and I’m an advocate for how it can change your life. How do your faith in God and your work as a psychic medium fit together in your spiritual practice? This is a bit of a loaded question, and I’m going to do my best not to step on any “controversial minefields” with my answer, but faith and spirituality are one and the same. You can’t have one without the other. It’s not possible, in my opinion. Faith is putting your belief in something you can’t see but trusting that it’s a source of goodness and positivity in your life. Spirituality is exactly the same, but we have been conditioned to believe it’s wrong to connect to Spirit. For me, spirituality has only deepened my faith, and my faith has evolved my consciousness in ways that have brought me closer to God and Source in the most profound and wonderful way. What helps you distinguish genuine divine guidance from your own thoughts, emotions or expectations? It’s really difficult to explain my personal method of discernment because I have my own unique way of connecting with and recognising energies and their divine guidance. I know the difference because much of the guidance does not resonate with me personally, especially in one-to-one sessions. I know things that only my client could know, or I say something that they have prayed about, proving that I’m being given information to assist them and provide them with answers to help them heal. Many are stunned and say, “I asked God to give me a sign through you, and you just did.” One thing I will state is that Spirit, Divine Beings, Celestial Guides and others never “tell you” to do something or command you in any way. Nothing negative comes from them. There are no duplicitous remarks or comments, only messages of love, advice, support and encouragement. Divine Beings are completely impartial and non-judgemental, so that’s another way to know the difference. Why is it important to you that people never give their personal power away to tarot or spiritual guidance? I am very grateful for this question because it’s so important. As someone who gave their power away to tarot five years ago, I’m always encouraging people to watch only one or two readers they trust, at most, and only until they feel evolved or healed enough to listen to their own intuition. So many content creators are not even spiritually awakened and simply read cards from an unhealed place of ego, with no thought for how their negative messages can create fear and paranoia. Using discernment and accepting only the guidance that’s meant for you is a much healthier way to enjoy watching tarot. What do you think is most misunderstood about the Twin Flame journey? Oh my goodness! So much is misunderstood. I could literally write a book, or maybe I’ll write an article for Brainz Magazine instead! Shameless plug for one of my upcoming articles. In the interest of giving a shorter description here, the Twin Flame, or mirrored soul frequency, is a healing journey that brings you back to “self,” like finding the missing piece of yourself that you didn’t even realise was missing. This encounter returns you to your original state of being, which simply means your original form: a soul made up of pure light and unconditional love that is always connected to God and Source. A twin soul connection is your other half, quite literally, and meeting them triggers an awakening that encourages you to find that same feeling you have with them inside yourself, independently of the physical connection. In the process, loving and accepting yourself as whole and complete also heals your heart chakra. Unlike your ego, a healed heart chakra allows for heart-centred decisions, creating a more harmonious and fulfilling way of living. Can a Twin Flame connection also become a beautiful physical romantic relationship? Of course! Every connection has the capacity to heal, and if the circumstances allow for it, a Twin Flame relationship can flourish. When someone feels stuck on a Twin Flame connection, where do you encourage them to look within themselves first? Firstly, and most importantly in my mind, the biggest obstacle that keeps Twin Flame connections stuck is focusing on external factors. It’s a spiritual connection designed to make you feel unconditional love despite what the physical circumstances may be. For many of the connections I work with, there are factors that are considered “difficult” to overcome, such as age differences, cultural backgrounds, religious practices, long distances and same-sex relationships. The whole point is to see beyond the physical and feel love in a completely different way. It’s about understanding that love is the anchor that binds you, not the physical connection. Healing begins when you stop chasing the physical connection and let go of your dependence on another person to make you happy. Instead, focus on feeling fulfilled and happy on your own and learning to love yourself again. Only then, and this applies to everyone, not just Twin Flames, will you begin to attract healthy relationships with others in all aspects of your life, including friendships and romance. It all needs to start with the healthy relationship you have with yourself. How can someone use spiritual guidance while still taking responsibility for their own choices and direction? Well, the one thing I always say to my personal clients is, “I’m only here to provide guidance, and all major life decisions are your own.” When people ask me to give them a yes or no answer to a question, I’m always hesitant. It’s never that simple, and it also places the responsibility on my shoulders. It is very important to take accountability and responsibility for your own choices and decisions. Other spiritual teachers and I are merely providing guidance. The rest is up to the individual and how they wish to proceed. What has your lifelong connection with Mother Mary taught you about healing and the way you support others? Ever since I was a little girl, I have felt so connected to her. My parents never took me to church, but every opportunity I had to be in a church was an opportunity to see an image of Mother Mary. I’d always weep when I looked at Jesus on the cross, never really understanding why I felt so emotionally connected. At seven years old, I was put under hypnosis because I was too scared to sleep in my room by myself. I could see orbs of light and figures moving around in the dark. Of course, now I say hello to them rather than being scared of them, but as a child, it completely freaked me out. During my hypnosis, I mentioned Mother Mary, and now, 44 years later, she’s still with me. Connecting with her has given me a way to look at life through a much softer lens. I have greater awareness of others’ needs and a deeper appreciation for the power of a simple gesture, such as a hug or a smile from a stranger. She has taught me not to judge others before knowing their stories, but above all else, she has shown me the importance of love and forgiveness. There is nothing love can’t do, especially when you need to find the courage to forgive. What is the most important thing you hope people understand about becoming whole within themselves? The one thing I really need everyone to understand is that you don’t “become” whole within yourself. You already are. It’s just a case of recognising it. This is where people fall short. They believe they’re not whole unless someone loves them, gives them attention, chooses them or needs them in some way. But we, as souls, are created to generate love as easily as we breathe. When you fully align with your soul and connect through the heart chakra, it gives you access to all the love you’ve been seeking outside of yourself. That’s all part of learning to be both human and “being” combined. You just have to accept yourself fully, love yourself unconditionally and know that you are all you seek in others. It’s a cliché, but it’s also very true: if you can’t love yourself unconditionally, how can someone else begin to love you that way? Follow me on Instagram and visit my website for more info! Read more from Arlene Dawn Porter

Da Reputable Vol. 3: Tears Still Invincible eBook by Julius Clark Jones (often titled Da Rep Ute Able) is an autobiographical memoir detailing the author's survival and transformation after growing up in the West Side 30's Fruit Town Brim street gang in Jersey City, New Jersey. What the eBook is about The memoir traces Jones' life from selling drugs as a child to support his struggling mother, to his deep involvement in gang violence. He covers his arrests by federal task forces, facing severe murder charges, and serving time in both state and federal prisons. The core of the book highlights his redemption: how he turned his life around while incarcerated, found his faith, and took business classes. Following his release, he dedicated his life to public speaking, doing gang intervention and violence prevention work in schools and community centers. The overarching message is one of overcoming betrayal, relying on faith, and rising above a traumatic past. What readers are saying Feedback from readers and reviewers highlights the book's intense, gritty realism and powerful message of hope: Inspirational and moving: Many readers praise Jones for his raw honesty regarding the mistakes of his past and his willingness to use his life story to help at-risk youth. Beacon of hope: In community and early reviews, readers have described the author as a "beacon of light," thanking him for giving back to the community and breaking generational cycles. Real-world impact: The emotional weight of his narrative – particularly the pain of watching his children grow up from behind bars – resonates deeply with readers who appreciate true stories of transformation. Major retail eBook platforms Barnes & Noble NOOK: Available for direct purchase as a digital NOOK book on Barnes & Noble. Casa del Libro: You can purchase and download the digital eBook directly from Spain's premier bookstore chain via the Casa del Libro store. Apple Books: Sold directly through the Apple bookstore for iOS and Mac users. Google Play Books: Accessible on Android devices and for web reading via the Google Play store. Kobo: Available on the Rakuten Kobo store for Kobo readers and apps. Smashwords Store: Available as a Digital Rights Management (DRM)-free download in multiple formats directly via Smashwords. Digital subscription services Everand: Included in its monthly reading subscription catalog, formerly Scribd. Scribd: Available for discovery and community sharing on its document platform. Kobo Plus: Included in select regional subscription pools for unlimited reading. Library eBook networks and platforms Gardners (Askews & Holts/VLeBooks): Fully distributed to international library networks, schools, and university catalogs through Gardners' digital ecosystem. OverDrive/Libby: Available for public libraries to purchase for their local digital lending collections. Hoopla Digital: Accessible to library cardholders instantly if their local library system subscribes to the platform's pay-per-circulation model. Baker & Taylor (Boundless): Distributed through Axis 360/Boundless systems for schools and public libraries. Palace Marketplace: Available to libraries using the open access Palace Project app. Vivlio: Distributed to major European digital library systems and French language retail partners. eBook Website

Written by Ryan Campinho Valadas, Therapist, Educator & Trainer Ryan Campinho Valadas is a specialist psychotherapist, educator, and public speaker working in the areas of relational health, sexuality, identity, and organisational culture. He is based in the UK and works with a diverse range of individuals, community groups, and organisations. It is common to write this kind of article with current or potential clients in mind, but since I started teaching trainee therapists, I’ve become increasingly interested in what goes on in the therapist’s world. So, to start us off, I wanted to share something personal and then expand on it with theory and professional reflections: there is a type of intense, overwhelming, seemingly automatic response I have to certain life situations that surprises me to this day. It has never occurred in an actual therapy session with a client, but it has in other professional contexts. This has led me to interrogate more deeply what could be going on for me, even after all the personal therapy I’ve undertaken. I experience it as an absolute, pervasive, and enveloping sensation which takes control of body sensations, behaviours, and completely shuts down my rational mind. It is also a strange out-of-body and dissociative experience where I can see what’s happening, but I’m not able to stop it. It completely cuts me off from any relational tool, capacity, or dynamic, and I have had many conversations over the years about the impact it has on others. I understand it intimately as a survival response from my adolescence, but I’m still caught by surprise when it happens in my adult life, mainly because it's so infrequent now. For many years, I framed and named this as a trauma response because it illustrates and mirrors the very real and automatic nature of a fight/flight/freeze/fawn activation. I have explored it further through the lens of anxiety, depression, anger, rage, and fear. I don’t think that’s wrong or misguided, but I was curious about what else could be present. In a client, for instance, I may notice an unusual response which impacts their perception of safety in the room, their body language, their capacity to verbalise what’s going on, and their relationship to me. There is a heightened sense of heaviness in the transference and a shift in energy in the room. I tend to experience this as something unclear and unknown in the moment, but something that I can definitely feel physically and emotionally. One of the main themes running through most modules of the specialist postgraduate diploma that I teach in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy is shame. At the Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology, the curriculum includes a modern theory of shame developed by Lisa Etherson called Shame Containment Theory (2023). It has been through the learning and teaching of this specific theory and framework, which wasn’t part of my own training, that I have found an additional lens through which I could explore and understand my personal response further, as well as understand my own clients better. This is also why I love teaching–it is a humbling and constant reminder that I don’t know everything, and never will. There is always room for more learning. Exploring different facets of shame In what I consider a very insightful analysis of shame, Etherson qualifies it as “a complex emotion that is often hidden” (2023). There is no universal definition of shame, and I think the following perspectives offered by additional and different theorists illustrate this well, a reaction to the danger of rejection, failure, exposure or abandonment (de Thierry 2018), a self judgement resulting in worthlessness and a desperation for perfectionism (Cozolino 2016), being seen in a diminished sense (Kaufman 1980), not feeling worthy of love and belonging (Brown 2012), an emotion that is experienced by shock and pain where words and thoughts become repressed (Herman 2012), its origins are relational and it needs relational attention, even though it feels out of reach of relational closeness (De Young 2015). Taking all of these into consideration, it is easy to see not only how complex it is, but also how easily it can be perceived and identified as a range of other lived experiences that we are more familiar with, such as fear of failure and rejection, abandonment challenges, self judgement, imposter syndrome, anxiety, professional presenteeism, feeling unworthy, shyness, dissociation, anger, trauma, and a range of relational difficulties. If you could pause here for a moment and consider this, in the more intense and overwhelming emotional and relational experiences that you have in your life, are you able to identify shame within them? How does that change the perception you have of those experiences? How might shame be hiding in your life and in your clients' lives? Behind what? For what reasons? If I experience something through an anxiety response, then it’s quite common to just assume that I’m feeling anxious about something and employ therapeutic interventions which directly address that. But if shame is also part of that response and continues to go unchecked, then something has been missed in my personal reflection and relational interaction, including in a therapeutic relationship. This is why I have been particularly curious about this dynamic. What have I been leaving unchecked, and to what extent? Embedded in the tradition of attachment theory, shame is considered by Etherson as something deeply important to self-protection and relational dynamics. It considers early life experiences and how they influence the development of the self, particularly how someone might cope with instances of rupture and repair in adulthood. One of the concepts I found particularly helpful in understanding my own life and the patterns of behaviour in my clients was the idea of strategies to contain the experience of shame, which we start developing as infants and progressively turn into ever more sophisticated patterns of response within ourselves, towards others, and in relation to the world around us. Contained shame is the lingering feeling we are left with after suffering attachment injuries in childhood, whilst uncontained shame is the experience of reconnecting to these feelings and ruptures in adulthood. Thus, the defences we create on the cognitive, emotional, and behavioural levels between childhood and adulthood are represented by the ways we carry ourselves in our day-to-day, as well as the more extreme responses we have to overwhelming challenges we encounter during moments of upheaval and crisis. It is across these complex levels of patterns that shame can be so well hidden, and even forgotten about. Witnessing without flinching: Being held and accepted Specialising in psychosexual therapy opened my life up to many things, and one of them was the shaming that many counsellors and psychotherapists impart on their clients in more generalised therapy. I remember the first time a client told me that they had sought me out specifically because they had been shamed by their therapist of many years when they brought up the topic of gay sex in their therapy sessions. I remember feeling sad and thinking how unfortunate this experience was for them, and how rupturing it must feel to anyone in that situation. I worked with that client for many years after that, but I kept meeting new clients in similar situations, and this pointed to a problem that was perhaps more common than I had ever thought possible. I consider sex and psychosexual challenges to be a particularly sensitive topic and can see how it would evoke an array of feelings and reactions based on someone’s upbringing, set of beliefs and values, lived experience, cultural and religious background, and even clinical training. It is one of the “big three topics”, as I lovingly call them, that people tend to avoid: sex, death, and money. This makes it easier to illustrate in terms of considering shame in the therapy room, not just the client’s, but also the therapist’s. What has gone unchecked in the therapist’s own process of self-examination, reflection, and reflexivity about sex that could be simmering in the background and be suddenly released and felt with such impact that a client would feel rejected, shamed, judged, and hurt? When I first heard the experience that my client had had with their previous therapist, I also remember putting it down to the therapist’s judgemental views and biases on sex, potentially informed by specific beliefs, values, and life experiences. But a few years later, I can hold more curiosity towards that kind of situation and wonder what else was present in that moment and what the external presentation of judgement was protecting and hiding in that person’s life. This is why I feel really passionate about inviting therapists, and anyone actually, to take some time to consider shame in their lives. Where does it start and with whom? How does it manifest externally and internally? What strategies have you developed over time to keep it contained, in both helpful and maladaptive ways? What areas of life and topics are more sensitive and prone to it? A shame response is informed by a person’s lived experience. Andy Jackson’s poem ‘The change room’ (2021) captures a beautiful and intensely human moment in a public swimming pool. In the interaction, Jackson is confronted by a child’s inquisitive and persistent look at his severe spinal curvature connected to Marfan Syndrome, and feels the weight that this evokes: “As my bones crouch into an old shame I thought I’d left behind.” That line includes much of what I’ve been discussing here: the physical, emotional, behavioural, and metaphorical crouching of our sense of self, the surprise at feeling something that we know is old and had perhaps considered “fixed” or “sorted out”, or in therapy language, “fully processed”. But is there such a thing as fully processed? The more the years progress, the more I realise and suspect that there are certain things that will always be present within us and sensitive to life’s unexpected and diverse triggers. We may experience them less often, or with less intensity, or recover more quickly from the overwhelm, but they linger, perhaps as an essential part of our sense of self which we refuse to see as such. By remaining open to this kind of work, we can guarantee more honest, grounded, kind, curious, and tender relationships with our loved ones, as well as with the people we support in a professional capacity. By remaining unflinchingly open and familiar to our own shame, we become more equipped to help others remove the heavy power that shame may hold over them. The great gift that the therapeutic relationship can offer here is in making space for the experience of being known in a place of deepest unacceptability, without being judged or abandoned, but witnessed, accepted, and cared for. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Ryan Campinho Valadas Ryan Campinho Valadas, Therapist, Educator & Trainer Ryan Campinho Valadas is a specialist psychotherapist, educator, and organisational trainer based in the UK. With 10 years of experience in psychotherapy and almost 20 years in public speaking, community organizing, and advocacy, he is interested in how social, cultural, and global dynamics influence our daily lives. Ryan specialises in psychosexual and relationship therapy, LGBTQ+ wellbeing, male mental health, and relational health in organisations. The main intention is to help people build stronger connections to their identities, desires, relationships, and life journeys. References: Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. Gotham Books. Cozolino, L. (2016). Why therapy works: Using our minds to change our brains. W. W. Norton & Company. de Thierry, B. (2018). The simple guide to understanding shame in children: What it is, what helps and how to prevent further stress or trauma. Jessica Kingsley Publishers. DeYoung, P. A. (2015). Understanding and treating chronic shame: A relational/neurobiological approach. Routledge. Etherson, L. (2023). Shame containment theory—a new approach to shame. Attachment: New Directions in Psychotherapy and Relational Psychoanalysis, 17(2), 141–154. https://doi.org/10.33212/att.v17n2.2023.141 Herman, J. L. (2012). Shattered shame states and their repair. In J. Yellin & K. White (Eds.), Shattered states: Disorganised attachment and its repair (pp. 157–170). Karnac Books. Jackson, A. (2021). Human looking. Giramondo Publishing. Kaufman, G. (1980). Shame: The power of caring. Schenkman Publishing Co.

Written by Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach Howaida Abdalla is a survivor of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and a life coach who has experience when it comes to the trauma that a survivor goes through and the journey it takes to heal. She helps women to reconnect and love themselves again. She is the founder of The Growth Hub Coaching and Women Empowerment edition: Impact for Change Podcast. Trauma does not simply live in our memories. It can also affect the way our nervous system responds to the world around us. When something overwhelming, frightening, painful, or unsafe happens, the nervous system can shift into a survival state designed to protect us. Our nervous system constantly asks one important question, "Am I safe?" When the answer feels like no, the body may respond automatically through fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These responses are not weaknesses. They are protective responses that can help us survive difficult experiences. When the body remains in survival mode After trauma, the danger may be over, but the nervous system may not immediately recognise that it is safe again. The body can remain alert, waiting for something to happen. This may lead to the following, according to the World Health Organization (WHO): Feeling constantly on edge or anxious Being easily startled Difficulty relaxing Racing thoughts Problems with sleep Feeling disconnected from your body or emotions Feeling numb or shut down Avoiding people, places, or situations Becoming overwhelmed by sounds, smells, memories, or sensations Struggling to trust others Feeling exhausted from always being alert For survivors of trauma, including FGM-related trauma, the body may react to reminders of past experiences even when there is no immediate danger. A sound, feeling, medical environment, conversation, smell, or physical sensation can trigger the nervous system. The body is not being difficult. It may be trying to protect you. Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn Trauma can activate different survival responses. Fight may appear as anger, irritability, frustration, or a need to defend yourself. Flight may feel like a strong urge to escape, avoid, keep busy, or run away from difficult emotions. Freeze can leave a person feeling stuck, unable to speak, move, think clearly, or respond. This is a common survival response and is not a sign of weakness. Fawn may involve people-pleasing, difficulty saying no, or putting other people's needs before your own to feel safe. These responses are automatic. They are the nervous system's way of saying: “I am trying to keep you safe.” Trauma can change how we experience safety After trauma, safety can become difficult to recognise. A calm situation may feel uncomfortable because the body has become used to being alert. Rest may feel unfamiliar. Trust may feel risky. Even happiness can sometimes feel unsafe. Healing often involves gently teaching the nervous system that the present moment is different from the past. This doesn't happen by forcing yourself to “get over it.” It can happen slowly through safe experiences, supportive relationships, boundaries, therapy, grounding, rest, and learning to listen to your body with compassion. The nervous system can learn safety again Healing is not about forgetting what happened. It is about helping your body recognise that you are no longer living in the same moment of danger. Small moments can support the nervous system: Taking slow breaths Feeling your feet on the ground Looking around and noticing your surroundings Spending time with people who feel safe Giving yourself permission to rest Setting boundaries Moving your body gently Naming what you are feeling Speaking to yourself with kindness These practices may seem small, but repeated moments of safety can help the nervous system gradually become less focused on survival. A gentle message to survivors If your body reacts in ways you do not always understand, please remember this. Your nervous system may be responding to what you have survived. Your reactions are not a personal failure. Your body is not broken. It may have learned to protect you in the best way it could. Healing is the gradual journey of learning that you deserve safety, not only around you, but within you. You do not have to rush. You do not have to heal perfectly. One safe breath, one boundary, one moment of rest, and one act of self-compassion at a time can help you begin reconnecting with your body. You survived. Your nervous system protected you. Slowly, gently, it can learn that safety is possible again. You can check out my book on Amazon. Beyond FGM: A Survivor Story of Healing, Voice and Reclaiming the Body, to learn more about the topic. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Howaida Abdalla Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach Howaida Abdalla is a life coach who helps women (survivors) of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) to reconnect & love themselves again. She was seven years old when the FGM procedure was done on her, which left her lost and disconnected not only from people, but also from herself. She has since dedicated her life to helping other survivors reconnect and love themselves. She is a founder of "The Growth Hub Coaching," where she helps & coaches survivors. Her mission is to help, inspire, and empower. Note: This article offers general information and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health support. If trauma symptoms are overwhelming, support from a trauma-informed professional may help.

Written by Ruth Rivera, Broker Associate, Coach, Author & Speaker Ruth Rivera is Your Fearless Real Estate Coach™, a broker associate, an author, and speaker with thirty years of production experience who coaches real estate agents and realtors in English and Spanish across the United States, Puerto Rico, and Latin America. Thirty years in production taught me that ambition gets you started, but coaching is what keeps you standing. Here is why I built my career around helping others build theirs. I used to sit in empty open houses long after the sign-in sheet had exactly one signature, mine, checking my phone every few minutes for a call that was not coming. Ten months passed that way. Not one closing. Somewhere around month eight, I stopped asking when it would turn around and started asking if I had picked the wrong career entirely. Then something shifted. Not luck. Not a market change. A decision to stop guessing and start being coached. That decision led to a record-breaking production year, and it has shaped everything I have built since, including Your Fearless Real Estate Coach™. That is the story I want every real estate professional reading this to hear because it is not really about me. It is about what becomes possible when someone stops trying to figure it all out alone. The missing piece Grit gets you through the early days. But grit alone never replaces the perspective that only comes from someone who has already walked the path you are on and can see around the corners you cannot see yet. Coaching provides that perspective, and it is the piece most real estate careers are missing. "Most agents do not fail from a lack of leads. They fail because they have no system to tell them which lead to call today." Most agents are never taught how to build a business. They are taught how to pass a licensing exam. Nobody hands you a playbook for lead follow-up, for staying consistent when the market gets quiet, or for holding yourself accountable when no one else is checking. That gap is where careers stall, and it is exactly where coaching steps in. A good coach does not hand you a shortcut. A good coach hands you a mirror, a framework, and the accountability to actually use both. I built my coaching practice around one core belief: success in this industry is not by chance. It is by design. Every habit, every system, every conversation you have with a client either moves you toward the business you want or away from it, and most professionals never stop to examine which direction they are actually moving. Been in your shoes I do not coach from a textbook. I coach from thirty years of production, from every mistake I made along the way, and from that early season I have already described, when the phone stayed quiet, and I questioned everything. I remember what that silence sounds like. I remember the fear that maybe this business was not for me. I did not turn that season around by working harder in the same direction. I turned it around by building a system out of nothing but index cards and a legal pad, long before customer relationship management (CRM) systems even existed, sorting every contact into one of eight physical piles based on where they actually stood, not where I hoped they stood. That system is what I now call the 8 Bucket System, and it is still the first thing every client I coach learns. Every lead, every relationship has a place, a stage, and a next step. Nothing falls through the cracks because nothing is left to memory or motivation alone. When I coach an agent through a slow season, I am not theorizing. I have lived that season. I know what it costs emotionally, not just financially, and I know exactly what it takes to climb out of it with a plan instead of panic. That lived experience is what separates coaching from generic advice. It is the difference between someone telling you what to do and someone who has actually done it, standing beside you while you figure out how to do it too. Seeing from the outside in One of the most valuable things coaching offers has nothing to do with scripts or systems. It is perspective. When you are inside your own business every single day, you lose the ability to see it clearly. You are too close to your own habits, too used to your own excuses, too familiar with the way things have always been done to notice where the friction actually lives. A coach sees your business from the outside in. That outside view is not criticism. It is clarity. It is someone asking the question you have been avoiding, noticing the pattern you have not named, and opening a door to an opportunity you walked past without seeing it. A fresh set of eyes on a business you built and now cannot fully see anymore is worth more than another to-do list. This is why even top producers benefit from coaching, not just newer professionals. Experience does not eliminate blind spots. If anything, experience can deepen them because success has a way of convincing us our current approach is the only right one. Every level benefits Brand new agents terrified to make their first call and seasoned professionals with decades of production behind them who hit a plateau they could not explain have both sat across from me, needing the same thing at the core: accountability to their own goals and a system built for where they actually are, not where a generic program assumes they should be. New agents need a foundation before bad habits take root. Seasoned agents need someone willing to challenge the habits that used to work but have quietly stopped serving them. Team leaders need to learn how to lead without losing themselves in everyone else’s business, and managing brokers need a sounding board who understands the weight of running an entire office, not just a personal pipeline. Across every one of them, growth requires someone willing to tell the truth and hold you to what you said you wanted. Beyond real estate agents Coaching for growth is not exclusive to agents holding a real estate license. Insurance agents building referral relationships with the real estate community, mortgage professionals converting more preapprovals into closings, and title representatives working to become an indispensable part of the transaction team rather than an afterthought have all sat in my coaching sessions. Every one of them operates within the same relationship-driven ecosystem and benefits from the same fundamentals: a clear system, honest accountability, and someone who already knows where the pitfalls are hiding. What coaching actually builds None of this works as theory. It only means something when you see it play out in a real business, so let me give you two examples. One agent came to me barely active in the business. He had a license and the desire, but most weeks, he made two or three calls and stopped the moment someone said no. We did not fix that in a week. We built a system together, gave him a bucket for every lead and every relationship so nothing depended on memory alone, and held him accountable call by call, week by week, until two or three calls became twenty. It took months of consistent work before the results showed up. Today, he is one of the top-producing agents in his office, and every time we talk, he is quick to say the turnaround did not happen overnight. It happened on purpose. The other example is a managing broker who brought me in for her whole office. Production was low, activity was even lower, and most of her agents had quietly stopped doing the basics that build a business. The conference room used to sit empty most mornings. We started with the fundamentals: getting agents back into the office, back on the phones, and back to prospecting on a consistent schedule instead of waiting for business to find them. Engagement came before production did. Once that same conference room started filling up again, the results followed. Coaching at the office level starts there. It rebuilds the activity on which a business is actually built. Books born from coaching Everything I write comes out of the coaching room. The Real Estate Bucket Playbook, built around the same 8 Bucket System I coach every client through, is already in agents’ hands in English and Spanish, and two more books built on that same system, Built by Design: 52 Weeks of Fearless Real Estate Execution and Licensed & Lost: What Nobody Tells New Real Estate Professionals, are on their way. Every book supports the coaching. The coaching is where the transformation actually happens. What clients for life say “I have known Ruth Rivera for over a decade, and I have witnessed her exceptional coaching skills and unwavering passion for real estate. As a broker-owner, we have consistently relied on Ruth’s expertise at various events and meetings. Her ability to keep our agents informed about market trends and inspire them with innovative strategies for attracting buyers and sellers has been invaluable. Ruth’s motivational approach fosters engagement and competitiveness among our agents. Whether you are a seasoned agent or a newcomer, partnering with Coach Ruth will undoubtedly elevate your real estate career.” – Jacqueline Garcia, Broker Owner, Miami, Florida “Working with Ruth has been one of the best decisions I have made in my business. Her Bucket System gave me clarity, structure, and a simple process that I can actually stick to every day. Ruth genuinely cares about your success and has a way of making you believe in yourself while holding you accountable. I am grateful for her guidance and highly recommend her to anyone looking to grow their real estate business.” – Efrain Reyes, Real Estate Agent, Orlando, Florida If you have worked with me and would like your own experience featured here, I would be honored to include your voice in future articles and on the Your Fearless Real Estate Coach™ website. Not by chance, by design If you are a new agent trying to survive your first year, a seasoned professional who has hit a plateau you cannot explain, a team leader trying to grow without burning out, a managing broker carrying the weight of an entire office, or an insurance, mortgage, or title professional trying to become the partner every agent wants on their team, coaching is not a luxury. It is the foundation. I built Your Fearless Real Estate Coach™ because I know what it feels like to figure this business out alone, and I know how much faster and stronger the climb is when you do not have to. I have been in your shoes. Now let me help you build the business you actually set out to build, on purpose, with a plan, and with someone in your corner the entire way. If any of this sounds like where you are right now, do not carry it alone for one more quarter. Visit here to learn more about coaching, or reach out directly to start the conversation. For the story of how the 8 Bucket System was born, read The Year I Almost Quit Real Estate. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Ruth Rivera Ruth Rivera, Broker Associate, Coach, Author & Speaker Ruth Rivera is Your Fearless Real Estate Coach™, a broker associate, coach, author, and speaker with thirty years of productive experience. She built her 8 Bucket System after going ten months without a single closing, then used it to produce a record-breaking year, and has since coached hundreds of real estate agents and realtors through the same turnaround. She sits on the Florida Realtors Board of Directors for District 12, is a National Association of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals (NAHREP) 10 Certified Trainer, and a past president of NAHREP North Orlando. Ruth coaches in both English and Spanish across the United States, Puerto Rico, and Latin America, and is the author of The Real Estate Bucket Playbook, now available in both languages.

Written by Josh Sagar Chauhan I, CEO, Model, and Multi-Talented Artist Josh is a CEO, model, and multi-talented artist with over a decade of experience in financial services, renowned for delivering insightful, up-to-date coverage on international affairs, culture, and technology, offering clarity and perspective. In the annals of Indigenous leadership and sovereignty, few narratives mirror the raw resilience demonstrated by His Royal Highness (HRH) Sagar V. Chauhan I. Following his sacred Baptism at the historic Holy Cross Priory and Church in Leicester, HRH Sagar V. Chauhan I faced an immediate, life-threatening escalation of targeted hostility. The events that unfolded the very next day, marked by an explicit defiance of death, a criminal fire attack, a subsequent wrongful arrest, and institutional failure, stand as a profound testimony to his enduring strength and sovereign power. The crucible at Holy Cross Priory: Forced entry and fire The day following his Baptism at Holy Cross Priory was intended to be a period of sacred spiritual reflection. Instead, it escalated into a desperate struggle for survival. An assailant forcibly broke into the residence and maliciously set a fire, turning structural destruction into a lethal instrument in an attempt to cause maximum, potentially fatal harm. Surrounded by active flames and acute peril, HRH Sagar V. Chauhan I successfully navigated the smoke and escaped the deadly trap set by his attacker. His survival under conditions where escape seemed statistically and practically impossible provides empirical evidence of his inherent capability, fortitude, and sovereign mandate. When a leader repeatedly outmaneuvers targeted, high-stakes attempts on his life, it demonstrates an extraordinary level of situational awareness, strategic power, and physical resilience. This dramatic escape was not merely a physical triumph over an inferno. It was a clear demonstration of personal endurance against a coordinated strike aimed at terminating his life and ending his public work. The ability to maintain composure, evaluate emergency escape routes within seconds, and overcome intense heat demonstrates a level of fortitude that belongs strictly to a true sovereign ruler. Regicidal intent and the mechanics of survival The intensity of the forces arrayed against HRH Sagar V. Chauhan I goes far beyond standard opposition. It reflects an overt regicidal determination. The extraordinary lengths to which adversaries have gone to secure his demise, including violent break-ins and targeted destruction by fire, highlight the profound threat his leadership poses to entrenched status quos and postcolonial structures. Rather than diminishing his standing, his ability to survive near-fatal encounters serves as tangible proof of his divine right, personal authority, and undeniable resilience as a leader. The sheer determination of his enemies to murder him confirms the historical weight of his claim and the power of his presence. Enemies do not attempt regicide against superficial figures. They deploy lethal force only against those whose authority they fear and cannot otherwise extinguish. The wrongful arrest under allegation of setting the fire Following his harrowing escape from the blaze, HRH Sagar V. Chauhan I was subjected to an egregious act of state misdirection, resulting in a wrongful arrest under suspicion of setting the fire. Rather than receiving immediate protection as the victim and sole survivor of a violent break-in, he was perversely accused of causing the very destruction intended to kill him. The conduct of the arresting police officers went beyond simple administrative error, representing a fundamental breakdown in objective justice and procedural integrity. Inversion of victim and perpetrator: Law enforcement failed to pursue the intruder, choosing instead to target the survivor escaping the flames. Failure of duty of care: Officers ignored the acute post-baptism threats to his physical safety and the immediate physical impact of surviving a violent break-in. Unlawful detention: The baseless suspicion shielded the true regicidal actor while depriving HRH Sagar V. Chauhan I of his fundamental liberty. This quick pivot by authorities to target the victim reveals how bureaucracy can be co-opted to suppress survivors. Instead of securing the perimeter, collecting forensic evidence of forced entry, or hunting for the intruder, the responding officers chose the easiest path of least resistance by detaining the individual who had just escaped the inferno. Institutional reality distortion and mass projection To fully comprehend the extreme irrationality of the officers' judgment, arresting the survivor of a fire break-in under false suspicion, the event can be understood as a profound mental detachment within the institution, akin to a shared delusion or collective irrationality. The dynamics of institutional projection Collective reality distortion: The law enforcement apparatus constructed a shared illusory narrative that completely inverted physical reality. Faced with a burning property and an intruder's attack, the collective mind of the police manufactured a delusion in which the victim was perceived as the perpetrator. Projective identification: The true threat, meaning the violent regicidal intent of the assailant who set the fire, was psychologically projected onto HRH Sagar V. Chauhan I. The police perceived the target as the danger, behaving under a deeply distorted cognitive framework that resisted clear physical evidence. Mass delusional thinking: When an entire police response team acts in unison based on inverted logic, completely detached from the factual reality of the break-in, it reflects a functional breakdown of rational thought. It is a state in which institutional bias and mass projection override observation, judgment, and basic duty. This collective cognitive failure ensured that, instead of acting as impartial arbiters of the law, the officers became active participants in the injustice, driven by a shared, erroneous belief system that turned a crime victim into a suspect. Conclusion: An unbroken mandate The events following the Baptism at Holy Cross Priory stand as a permanent marker of HRH Sagar V. Chauhan I's trial by fire. The combination of surviving a targeted break-in, escaping a life-threatening fire, and enduring subsequent state-sanctioned injustice demonstrates both the dangerous levels of regicidal intent surrounding his person and his extraordinary capacity to overcome them. His survival is not merely a matter of chance. It remains empirical proof of his power, sovereignty, and unyielding strength in the face of absolute adversity. Through fire, wrongful arrest, and institutional hostility, his mandate remains unbroken, and his path forward remains clear. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Josh Sagar Chauhan I Josh Sagar Chauhan I, CEO, Model, and Multi-Talented Artist Josh Chauhan is experienced in banking, finance, luxury sales, marketing, advertising, and recruitment, with a desire to continually learn more. A proficient digital and creative consultant, Josh I has over two years of experience in niche brand and project delivery. With more exposure in advertising, television, and radio, as well as acting and live performance to national and international audiences, Josh Chauhan I is in research & development for his Incorporation Umbrella, Miwted.

Written by Annika Sörensen, MD, Stress Strategist & Calm Creator At Ask Dr. Annika, we empower executives and high-performing professionals to transform stress into strength. Led by Dr. Annika Sörensen, a seasoned physician and stress & business mentor, our approach fuses medical science, mindset mastery, and real-world strategy. Here, you’ll find tailored mentoring, leadership tools, and stress management practices to thrive without burnout. Leadership is often associated with making big decisions, solving complex problems, and keeping an organization moving forward. But sometimes, the biggest drain on a leader’s capacity comes from something much less visible: the way work is organized. When processes are unclear, responsibilities overlap, information is difficult to find, or the same decisions must be made repeatedly, leaders and their teams spend valuable energy managing the system instead of moving the business forward. That is where business process optimization becomes more than an operational exercise. A well-designed way of working can reduce unnecessary friction, improve consistency, and give leaders more capacity for the work that actually requires their judgment. The goal is not to make an organization rigid. It is to make good work easier to repeat, improve, and sustain. What is business process optimization? Business process optimization is the practice of examining how work is currently done and improving those processes so that they support the organization’s objectives more effectively. This can involve clarifying responsibilities, documenting procedures, removing unnecessary steps, improving handovers, standardizing recurring activities, and regularly reviewing whether a process is still working as intended. Research on business process standardization shows that structured processes can help organizations reduce redundancies, improve transparency, reduce processing time, coordinate activities, and support organizational performance. But there is an important distinction, optimization does not mean standardizing everything. Some work benefits from consistency. Other work requires creativity, judgment, flexibility, and adaptation. The skill of effective leadership is knowing which is which. Why business processes matter at the leadership level It is easy to think of processes as an operational concern that belongs to managers or administrative teams. In reality, processes shape the environment in which leadership decisions are made. When a leader must repeatedly answer the same operational questions, search for information that should already be accessible, resolve unclear responsibilities, or step into problems caused by missing procedures, leadership capacity is being consumed by avoidable friction. Over time, this can create a familiar pattern: More interruptions. More context switching. More decisions. More follow-up. Less time for strategic thinking. Research on workplace interruptions has found that interruptions can increase processing time and errors, particularly when people must switch between tasks. For leaders with significant responsibilities, this matters. Your calendar may be full because the business genuinely requires your attention. But it may also be full because the organization has not yet built systems that allow the work to move forward without you. The hidden cost of making everything a leadership decision One of the clearest signs that a business needs stronger processes is when too many routine decisions continue to reach the top. A leader becomes the person everyone asks: Where can I find this? What happens next? Who is responsible for this? Should we do it this way or that way? Has this already been done? Individually, these questions may seem insignificant. Collectively, they create operational drag. A structured organization does not eliminate leadership involvement. Instead, it creates clarity around which decisions genuinely require leadership judgment and which can be handled through established processes. This distinction is particularly important as an organization grows. The bigger the organization becomes, the more expensive ambiguity can become. Five areas leaders should systematize first You do not need to redesign your entire organization at once. Start with the areas where unclear processes create the most repeated friction. 1. Document recurring processes If a task happens repeatedly, ask whether the process exists only in someone’s head. Important recurring activities should have enough documentation for the person responsible to understand what needs to happen, who owns each step, what information is required, what happens next, and when the process needs to be reviewed or escalated. Documentation does not have to mean creating a 50-page manual. A clear one-page process can sometimes be more useful than a complicated system nobody reads. 2. Clarify roles and responsibilities Processes often fail at the handover points. One person assumes another person is responsible. A deadline passes because nobody clearly owns the next step. A leader becomes involved simply because the responsibility was never defined. Clarifying ownership reduces this ambiguity. Every recurring process should answer a simple question, “Who is responsible for moving this forward?” Where appropriate, it should also be clear who has the authority to make decisions and who needs to be consulted. 3. Build simple systems for information Information that is difficult to find creates unnecessary work. If policies, procedures, client information, templates, or operational documents are scattered across different platforms or personal folders, people spend time searching instead of working. Create a logical structure. Give documents consistent names. Define where important information belongs. Make the system easy enough that people will actually use it. A system is only useful if it works in real life. 4. Create clear responses to predictable problems Not every problem needs to escalate to an executive. Think about the issues that repeatedly interrupt your day: What happens when a client cancels? What happens when a critical document is missing? What happens when a team member is unexpectedly unavailable? What happens when an approval is delayed? Where appropriate, create a defined response for predictable situations. This gives the team greater autonomy while allowing leaders to reserve their attention for situations that genuinely require strategic judgment. 5. Review the system regularly A process that worked two years ago may no longer fit the organization you have today. New employees join. Technology changes. Teams grow. Customers behave differently. Responsibilities move. That is why business process optimization is not a one-time project. It is a cycle of observing, reviewing, improving, and adapting. Research on process management similarly emphasizes the importance of measuring process performance and selecting indicators that align with organizational strategy. Systematic work should support people, not just processes There is another part of systems thinking that leaders sometimes overlook. A process exists to support people. It should not create unnecessary complexity simply because “that is how we have always done it.” This is particularly important when considering workplace health and sustainability. In Sweden, for example, the Swedish Work Environment Authority requires employers to conduct systematic work environment management. The framework includes organizing, implementing, reviewing, identifying risks, and taking preventive action. For organizations with ten or more employees, several elements, including the work environment policy, procedures, task allocation, and annual follow-up, must be documented in writing. The broader principle is useful well beyond Sweden, “Good systems should make responsibilities clearer, risks more visible, and work more manageable.” They should not simply add another layer of administration. The leader’s role in building better systems As a leader, you do not have to personally design every process. Your role is to create the conditions in which good processes can exist. That means asking better questions: Where are we repeatedly losing time? Where are people unclear about ownership? Which decisions are unnecessarily coming back to leadership? Where are errors or delays happening repeatedly? Which processes depend too heavily on one person? What information is difficult for the team to access? Where are our current systems creating more work instead of less? These questions can reveal something important. Sometimes, what looks like a people problem is actually a process problem. Sometimes, what looks like a productivity problem is actually a lack of clarity. From operational efficiency to sustainable leadership Business process optimization is ultimately about more than efficiency. It is about capacity. When routine work is structured appropriately, leaders can spend more of their attention on strategy, relationships, innovation, and decisions that genuinely require their expertise. Teams can work with greater clarity. Responsibilities become easier to understand. Problems can be identified earlier. The organization becomes less dependent on one person holding everything together. That last point matters enormously for high-achieving leaders. A business that can only function when its leader is constantly available is not necessarily a high-performing business. It may simply be a business that has become dependent on the leader’s personal capacity. Start with one process You do not need to systematize everything tomorrow. Choose one recurring process that currently creates unnecessary friction. Write down how it actually works today, not how you think it works. Identify the unnecessary steps. Clarify who owns each part. Document the improved version. Then test it. Ask the people using the process what works and what does not. Improve it again. That is how sustainable systems are built: not through perfection, but through continuous refinement. Build a business that does not depend on constant pressure Leadership should not require you to personally carry out every process, make every decision, and solve every problem. The most sustainable organizations create structures that allow people to do good work without unnecessary confusion and allow leaders to reserve their energy for the work only they can do. Business process optimization is therefore not about working harder or making your organization more complicated. It is about creating enough structure for the business to move forward with greater clarity, consistency, and resilience. If you want to explore practical strategies for reducing unnecessary pressure and building more sustainable leadership capacity, you can explore my leadership mentoring and resources. Because the goal is not simply to build a business that works. It is to build a business that works without requiring you to carry everything yourself. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, or visit my LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Annika Sörensen Annika Sörensen, MD, Stress Strategist & Calm Creator Dr. Annika Sörensen is a Medical Doctor, Stress Management Mentor, Author, and International Speaker on topics revolving around the successes brought by less stress, including financial and business success. She specializes in health and stress strategies and has a solid background in Swedish Public Health Care for 30 years. With profound personal, clinical, and scientific knowledge about the subject of stress, she made it twice to TEDx. She is officially certified by The Big Talk Academy. Today, Dr. Annika is helping stressed-out Business Leaders slow down, reflect, feel less stress, and then ramp up and get more done and create bigger success without having to work harder. She does it through speaking and workshops.