How Trauma Affects Your Nervous System
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Updated: 21 hours ago
Written by Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a survivor of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and a life coach who has experience when it comes to the trauma that a survivor goes through and the journey it takes to heal. She helps women to reconnect and love themselves again. She is the founder of The Growth Hub Coaching and Women Empowerment edition: Impact for Change Podcast.
Trauma does not simply live in our memories. It can also affect the way our nervous system responds to the world around us. When something overwhelming, frightening, painful, or unsafe happens, the nervous system can shift into a survival state designed to protect us.
Our nervous system constantly asks one important question, "Am I safe?" When the answer feels like no, the body may respond automatically through fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These responses are not weaknesses. They are protective responses that can help us survive difficult experiences.
When the body remains in survival mode
After trauma, the danger may be over, but the nervous system may not immediately recognise that it is safe again. The body can remain alert, waiting for something to happen.
This may lead to the following, according to the World Health Organization (WHO):
Feeling constantly on edge or anxious
Being easily startled
Difficulty relaxing
Racing thoughts
Problems with sleep
Feeling disconnected from your body or emotions
Feeling numb or shut down
Avoiding people, places, or situations
Becoming overwhelmed by sounds, smells, memories, or sensations
Struggling to trust others
Feeling exhausted from always being alert
For survivors of trauma, including FGM-related trauma, the body may react to reminders of past experiences even when there is no immediate danger. A sound, feeling, medical environment, conversation, smell, or physical sensation can trigger the nervous system.
The body is not being difficult. It may be trying to protect you.
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
Trauma can activate different survival responses. Fight may appear as anger, irritability, frustration, or a need to defend yourself. Flight may feel like a strong urge to escape, avoid, keep busy, or run away from difficult emotions. Freeze can leave a person feeling stuck, unable to speak, move, think clearly, or respond. This is a common survival response and is not a sign of weakness. Fawn may involve people-pleasing, difficulty saying no, or putting other people's needs before your own to feel safe.
These responses are automatic. They are the nervous system's way of saying: “I am trying to keep you safe.”
Trauma can change how we experience safety
After trauma, safety can become difficult to recognise. A calm situation may feel uncomfortable because the body has become used to being alert. Rest may feel unfamiliar. Trust may feel risky. Even happiness can sometimes feel unsafe.
Healing often involves gently teaching the nervous system that the present moment is different from the past. This doesn't happen by forcing yourself to “get over it.” It can happen slowly through safe experiences, supportive relationships, boundaries, therapy, grounding, rest, and learning to listen to your body with compassion.
The nervous system can learn safety again
Healing is not about forgetting what happened. It is about helping your body recognise that you are no longer living in the same moment of danger.
Small moments can support the nervous system:
Taking slow breaths
Feeling your feet on the ground
Looking around and noticing your surroundings
Spending time with people who feel safe
Giving yourself permission to rest
Setting boundaries
Moving your body gently
Naming what you are feeling
Speaking to yourself with kindness
These practices may seem small, but repeated moments of safety can help the nervous system gradually become less focused on survival.
A gentle message to survivors
If your body reacts in ways you do not always understand, please remember this. Your nervous system may be responding to what you have survived.
Your reactions are not a personal failure. Your body is not broken. It may have learned to protect you in the best way it could.
Healing is the gradual journey of learning that you deserve safety, not only around you, but within you. You do not have to rush. You do not have to heal perfectly.
One safe breath, one boundary, one moment of rest, and one act of self-compassion at a time can help you begin reconnecting with your body. You survived. Your nervous system protected you. Slowly, gently, it can learn that safety is possible again.
You can check out my book on Amazon. Beyond FGM: A Survivor Story of Healing, Voice and Reclaiming the Body, to learn more about the topic.
Read more from Howaida Abdalla
Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a life coach who helps women (survivors) of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) to reconnect & love themselves again. She was seven years old when the FGM procedure was done on her, which left her lost and disconnected not only from people, but also from herself. She has since dedicated her life to helping other survivors reconnect and love themselves. She is a founder of "The Growth Hub Coaching," where she helps & coaches survivors. Her mission is to help, inspire, and empower.
Note: This article offers general information and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health support. If trauma symptoms are overwhelming, support from a trauma-informed professional may help.
