Written by Constanze Zientek, Women‘s Coach Constanze Zientek is a women's coach who works with highly sensitive women in their thirties, helping them to cultivate inner strength, embrace embodied leadership, and build an authentic, aligned life. Her approach blends emotional depth, clarity, and self-trust. Maybe you have already read that imposter syndrome statistically hits 7 out of 10 women at some point in their lives. Even though imposter syndrome has no age limit and can impact men as deeply as women, the thirties period in the life of a woman is probably the most fertile ground for imposter syndrome to grow on. Even in today’s modern world, no time period in life is as controversial as the thirties. For women across all cultural backgrounds, the thirties period of life can feel especially challenging, since there are many very different pressure points that can affect them. If you are affected by self-doubt in your thirties, know that you are not alone and that there are effective strategies to navigate all of them. What is imposter syndrome? Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where people doubt their capabilities, talent, and worthiness of success overall, despite other people believing in them or their already accomplished achievements. People experiencing imposter syndrome think that they are underqualified or that they simply don‘t deserve the opportunities they are being given. Imposter syndrome is especially prevalent in high-achieving professional fields. Unlike a common belief, imposter syndrome cannot only be experienced regarding career-related topics, but also in all other areas of life. In its worst form, it can make the individual think that they don’t deserve high-quality opportunities, success, recognition, or relationships, and it can lead to perfectionism, exhaustion, burnout, anxiety, or depression. Why do 7 out of 10 women experience imposter syndrome? According to KPMG‘s report "Advancing the future of women in business: A report from the women‘s leadership summit" from 2020, up to 75% of all interviewed women executives admitted having experienced symptoms of imposter syndrome at some point in their careers. One could question whether the reason for that could be a different general upbringing of young boys (more focused on having courage and repressing emotion) and of young girls (often taught to care for others and to be more receptive to people’s emotional needs and less to ego-based behavior). Therefore, women would just be less conditioned to naturally bet on themselves. However, this might be way too generic, since there are many other factors to consider in a person’s upbringing. Also, it might not be the case at all, since other studies have shown instead that men tend to suffer from imposter syndrome just as much as women (after all, showing insecurity is still hardly accepted in male behavior in almost every culture). Therefore, this article is not alleging that women are generally hit harder by imposter syndrome, but that they are hit differently. For women, there are often specific factors that cause imposter syndrome, which often start to affect them deeply in their thirties. Knowing them can make it a lot less personal and easier to deal with imposter syndrome during that stage of life. Why are women in their thirties prone to imposter syndrome? As just mentioned, imposter syndrome can hit everyone at all stages of their lives, especially when we are diving into unknown territory. But for women in their thirties, it can be extra intense for the following reasons: The societal narrative changes: Until thirty, society allows women to "figure it out". Not only on a professional level, but on a personal level as well. Many women are still told that they need to pursue private goals like marriage and starting a family within a very specific time frame. Because the biological clock is ticking. And with that, big expectations of clarity, direction, and stability arise. This puts pressure on the conscious and subconscious mind, "If the expectations don’t work out, does this mean that I’m not worthy and capable?" Bigger contrast: Many people feel debilitated when they see their old friends change in different ways. Some years ago, they were all at the same point. Now, one moves abroad to pursue his career, another one gets married and has two kids, and the next friend still parties until 5 am in the morning, while another one is now running marathons every single weekend. Suddenly, everyone has to decide if what they are doing feels right to them individually. And making decisions for one’s own sake can feel frightening and impossible at first. Many women struggle with that and try to find comfort in this phase through the guidance of a partner. But if that doesn‘t work out, it can cause frustration and even desperation. Conflict of self-image with growing responsibilities: Our thirties can quickly bring in rapid changes in all areas of life, and often for the first time. While many changes, for instance, a promotion or the birth of a child, can be deeply exciting, they can bring up new levels of stress and insecurities that have never been felt before. And many times, the self-image can not catch up with the speed of these outer developments, so self-doubt kicks in. Because competence becomes visible: Many women are asked to take the center stage in the workplace for the first time, because they have great skills. But that also means that there will be older, more secure-looking colleagues/clients judging their work. Many women panic in their heads about this multiple times, because they carry a deeply ingrained narrative in their belief system, "I‘m just a girl." The relationship with oneself: It takes a very deep relationship with oneself to act calmly and with self-trust. For many women in their thirties, that is not the case, because they have never been taught how to build that. The thirties are often the time period when a woman questions the dynamics of her childhood upbringing for the first time. But that alone doesn’t build self-trust. Just because she’s starting to notice what hasn’t been working, that doesn’t mean that she suddenly knows exactly what does work for her. That process takes time and practice. Why these thoughts seem to be so real (but aren’t) Because many times, these thoughts are not rooted in reality, but in the body. Phases of transition, responsibility, visibility, or evaluation alarm the nervous system. The imposter thoughts of "I‘m not good enough," or "I don’t deserve this," are the brain’s attempt to explain the bodily reaction to the unknown. The brain confuses emotions with facts. It takes the intensity as proof of truth. The stronger the emotion of fear, the more the brain relies on it. Imposter thoughts can also be very familiar to what many of us have been told. Sentences like "Stay in your lane." suggest that there is a limit to what one can or should actually accomplish. For many women, thoughts like "That‘s a man‘s job," or "I need someone strong for this, I can’t handle that by myself," are still such a big part of their conscious and subconscious programming. These thoughts get activated and emphasized whenever the body shows a physical reaction to uncertainty. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. There are remedies to lessen the impact of the imposter thoughts and to actually use them to your advantage. Related article: 8 Clues You Might Have Imposter Syndrome 10 steps to transform the effect of imposter syndrome 1. Call out the state Like all thoughts, imposter thoughts can only work in a detrimental way if they are allowed to run the show on a subconscious level. Once you start feeling nervous, ask yourself what the feeling wants to protect you from. Identify the thoughts that are running in your head. Making it clear to yourself that imposter syndrome is just knocking at the door again brings awareness, and with that, you can get behind the wheel of your thoughts again. Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, ask yourself, “Where am I being challenged right now?” 2. Separate feelings from facts After identifying your thoughts, ask yourself if what you think is really true. Not through the lens of your emotions, but on a level where you ask yourself if these thoughts could actually serve as proof in court. Many false beliefs disqualify themselves if they’re examined through the lens of fact-proofreading. Then identify the persistent thoughts and softly start to reshape them. It is important that your new thoughts still sound somewhat believable to you. But try to experiment with how your body responds if you just consciously express different thoughts about the circumstances. Repeat these new thoughts as often as possible, until they start sticking with you. Related article: Building self-compassion & self-love in 5 easy steps 3. Dismantle comparison If comparison hits, take a close look at who you are comparing yourself to. Why did you compare yourself to them? Then, take your journal and start reflecting. Find at least three reasons why you cannot compare your situation to theirs. If you come up with more, don’t stop yourself, but find at least three good reasons and repeat them to yourself every time that thought comes up. It can be as simple as, "My intuition is telling me that I can‘t compare my becoming to anyone else, because what is meant for me is deeply unique to me." 4. Name your own goals and values Many women in their thirties get stressed about what they think they should want or do, according to social norms (get married/have a family/excel in their career). They are unsure about what they even want for themselves. They are in fear if they can ever fulfill the roles that they are or feel asked to fulfill. What they don‘t know, instead, are their own goals and values. Roy E. Disney, nephew of Walt Disney and executive for the Walt Disney Company, once said the quote, “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier”. The same goes for imposter thoughts. If you can recall "why" exactly you wanted to go after a certain achievement in the first place, it becomes easier to get there. Also, knowing your values functions like a GPS for decision-making. It can deeply support your why. If you recall that something is important to you, because it really connects to one of your core values, that "why" becomes deeply personal and therefore gains momentum. If it doesn’t, that’s important feedback for you, too. 5. Check in with the body When it’s really agitated, the nervous system can take over the show in such a strong way that rational thinking becomes impossible. In these moments, it’s very important not to force the thinking process too much, since the body doesn’t have the capacity for it. Instead, focus on your breathing. Pause after breathing in and count to 7, then take long breaths out, counting at least to 7 or longer. Put one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Go outside if you can and walk some steps. Or simply focus on your feet on the ground. Bringing yourself back to the body is the first step to getting out of the spiral. 6. Acknowledge baby steps Change needs time. Don’t get mad at yourself if you feel like you are not making enough progress. Focus on how you have already shifted. What has improved? Making a list of your achievements and regularly reading them out loud to yourself can work wonders. Every minor detail counts. 7. See your thoughts as a sign If you can’t abandon your imposter thoughts completely, simply change your relationship with them. Imposter thoughts often occur in phases of growth, when a new identity has not taken shape yet. You need repetition. And many times, that takes a lot longer than expected. Impatience can be directly tied to imposter syndrome, especially in highly ambitious people. If you feel like you aren’t mastering your field, even after many attempts, don’t lose hope. See it as a sign that you are learning to excel at something outstanding. You are cultivating remarkable skills here. Related article: 7 tips to step out of your comfort zone 8. Let them work for you Once you‘ve started to change your relationship with your imposter thoughts, take it one step further, make them work for you. Imposter thoughts want to keep you in safe waters. They actually want to care for you. They are also a sign that you are heading into new territory. Ask yourself regularly what you are learning from your imposter thoughts. How will you feel, once the imposter thought, like a machine in the gym, will have stretched your self-trust muscle? 9. Look for evidence Get very honest with yourself. When in your life have you been faced with a challenge that you really thought was too difficult for yourself to handle, but you managed to do so, anyway? Everything counts. It’s about the mechanism, not about the area of life. Write down how you felt overwhelmed and incapable, and how the situation turned out in the end. Recall the good feelings that you got as a reward from that and how you became more secure. If you can do it once, you can do it again. 10. Reward yourself Imposter thoughts make the inner critic run wild in your head. After reframing your thoughts and recentering, reward yourself for making it through the moment of tension. You don’t have to wait until the circumstance that is causing your imposter syndrome is over, that’s not what the reward is for. Your reward is for coming eye to eye with your imposter thoughts and seeing them for what they are, but not letting them run the show. To acknowledge their purpose, without letting them command. And that is really something to be proud of. How to work with this even deeper Imposter Syndrome can sabotage your professional life, your overall life goals, and even your dating life. But the good thing is, you are not alone in this at all. Over half of the population is dealing with imposter syndrome sooner or later in their lives. Doing the work alone is possible, but as humans, we grow the fastest when we get the right support from someone qualified whom we trust. If you're ready to really transform your relationship with your imposter thoughts or just get rid of them completely, book a coaching call today. Let's work together to overcome your imposter syndrome and help you step into your full potential. Follow me on Instagram for more info! Read more from Constanze Zientek Constanze Zientek, Women‘s Coach Constanze Zientek is a women's coach working with highly sensitive women in their thirties. She supports them in cultivating inner strength, embodied leadership, and an authentic, aligned life. Her approach blends emotional depth, clarity, and self-trust. She furthermore practices as a lawyer with over ten year of work experience, specializing in inheritance law. Her work with clients in emotionally complex transitions, combined with her own journey through her thirties, led her to coaching. Today, she integrates structure and intuition to offer clear, deeply human guidance.

Written by Constanze Zientek, Women‘s Coach Constanze Zientek is a women's coach who works with highly sensitive women in their thirties, helping them to cultivate inner strength, embrace embodied leadership, and build an authentic, aligned life. Her approach blends emotional depth, clarity, and self-trust. Have you ever found yourself deeply insecure about a decision and felt like everybody had an opinion about what was right or wrong? Or do many of the people around you have very different points of view, leaving you more confused than before? If that resonates, you are not alone, especially if you’re in your 30s. Our 30s tend to be an extremely stressful period of life because one false step can seem to have long-lasting consequences. The "pressure of the right decision" can not only cause high amounts of stress, but ironically, it can also increase the probability of making an unaligned decision. So what can actually help with the deeply human, deeply adult problem of making the "right" decisions? Let’s take a closer look. The illusion of wrong and right Have you ever been in a situation where everybody around you told you that your decision would lead to "bad" consequences, but instead, it turned out to be an amazing thing that happened to you? Or have you been in situations where something apparently very bad helped you on so many different levels in hindsight, but at the time, it seemed to be a real tragedy? When it comes to decision-making, there often seems to be a dilemma between wrong and right. Many times, people see the process of decision-making as a doomsday scenario. With decision-making comes judgment, many people believe that a "right" decision will lead to success and happiness, while a "wrong" decision will send them into a downward spiral they cannot escape. The reality of decision-making is often very different. Many times, people realize later that what they thought was a bad decision in the first place leads them to a lot of learning over time. Often, these learnings become the baseline of a bigger, better, wiser version of themselves. Beyond the "wrong and right" narrative is often the fear of long-lasting consequences. Of course, some decisions can yield long-lasting results. That doesn’t mean, though, that they are detrimental in the long run for the person making the decision. Decisions can be wild cards. Sometimes, an outcome is simply not predictable. Is that a good or bad thing? That depends entirely on what you make it mean for yourself. One could even say that declaring a decision as wrong is a decision in itself. It will put a label on something that happened in the past and leave no space for improvement in the present. In most cases, the "wrong or right" narrative is simply not the truth, but a thought error and an illusion that can unnecessarily keep us stuck for a long time. The real quality of a decision is not determined by the label of wrong or right that is placed on it, but by the real impact it has on a person’s development. That impact is not measured by external circumstances but by the inner progress that is being made by the person over time. Therefore, the good news is that it is entirely up to you to decide whether a decision is good for you or not. The pressure of comparison On top of the fear of wrong and right comes another illusion that especially tends to hit people in their 30s, the illusion of external timelines. Suddenly, your own intrusive thoughts about the biological clock, society’s expectations, and even well-meaning friends or family members remind you that there is not much time left for important personal decisions like having a career peak, finding a partner, getting married, or having children. And if left unchecked, these intrusive thoughts easily get the upper hand. Suddenly, you feel like you’re in a rat race regarding fundamental aspects of your life. Do not buy into it. Surely, it’s hard. But do you know what’s harder? Spending many years of your life in relationships that were committed to out of fear instead of true alignment, or in a career that silently kills you just because you’re afraid to start over. Instead, focus on asking yourself what you truly desire, what makes you feel fulfilled, and get to know yourself as deeply and authentically as possible. External timelines and circumstances are an invitation to get into a deeper relationship with your inner world, not your outer world. Switching the focus So, what can you do to ease the process of decision-making altogether? An important first step can be to shift the narrative from judgment to alignment. Switching the focus from asking yourself “Is this right?” or “Is this wrong?” to “Is this something that is aligned for me?” is such a powerful way to work on your relationship with the process of decision-making altogether. 8 tools that actually work with decision-making Decision-making is such a vast topic that there’s much more to say about it than one single article could ever hold. But there are many factors of successful decision-making that I’m going to display in the upcoming steps. Decision-making is a deeply personal process. What is the right fit for you may not be the right fit for someone else. But with the right tools for you, you won’t feel insecure about your own decisions ever again. Take what resonates. Speak to others, then pause Putting other people’s opinions above your own can be one of the biggest problems in a decision-making process. However, other people’s opinions are based on their values, their preferences, and their individual life experiences. Yours might be entirely different. Therefore, other people’s opinions should always be taken with a grain of salt. Your friends and loved ones can have incredibly valuable insights, but after you hear them, just pause. If, even after a while, you feel like it resonates with you, make it stick. If you feel resistance coming up around what has been said or if you feel like it brought up a lot of fear, it might not be a healthy standpoint for you. Stop comparison Other people are not on your same timeline. This one is big, especially for people in their 30s. It is way too easy to see what’s going on in the lives of others and assume that you’re somehow behind or doing things wrong. If you feel like you’re behind because your friends just got married, that’s not a reason to stay in your current relationship if you’re thinking about breaking up. If your friends seem to be further along in their careers, that doesn’t mean that yours is not taking off. The truth is, nobody is safe when it comes to comparison (Have you ever read the group chat of a WhatsApp mom group?). Comparison can quickly put you in a state of mind where feeling what resonates with you becomes harder and harder. Get clear about your values Your values are like a roadmap for your decisions. Knowing them gives you a true instruction manual for the things that make you happy and fulfilled. They might be wildly different from the people around you. For instance, one person might absolutely value connection over learning, while another person highly values learning or alone time over social opportunities. These examples are just starting points, as values can go much deeper. You can even consider aspirational values—values that might not be present in your current self 100%, but that you are striving to build over time. Trust in your future self How many times in your life have you not known what would come out of a decision, and it turned out to be better than you expected? Or maybe it didn’t turn out as you expected, but somehow you still made it work. Actually, these not-so-good results of decision-making are your future self’s greatest asset. If you have dealt with challenging situations in the past, you’re absolutely capable of doing it again. So, it’s either this or something absolutely better. Building self-trust that your future self can handle things is a big step into inner authority. Your mantra could be, "I trust in this and I always figure things out." Involve your body as much as possible Your body has its own intelligence. The sensations it gives you can display very clearly whether something is aligned for you or not. Observe, "Do you feel excitement? Are you feeling fussy, or maybe a bit anxious as well?" If possible, pause, focus on calming the anxiety first, and then listen again. Anxiety often leads us astray in the decision-making process because it overlays everything that is actually important. Often, anxiety is just a side effect of change. Observe if there is more than just anxiety coming up, "Is there genuine excitement or joy?" If that is the case, it is usually a really good sign that you’re on the right path. The sum of all sensations that come up within you is a very important indicator that reveals more than your thoughts alone ever could. The shut-up strategy As bluntly as that sounds, sometimes we just have to tell anxiety to shut up. If you really can’t shake it, imagine telling your fear to just shut up. There are no wrong decisions if you do not decide otherwise. The concept of a wrong decision doesn’t even have to exist in your reality. It can always be a lesson if that’s what you make it, and you can learn what you don’t want to do or allow in your life. Hold ambiguity Sometimes multiple truths coexist. You can want one thing and also want the exact opposite. That contradiction is part of being human. Allowing yourself to exist in that paradox leaves deeper room for your final decision to sink in. The importance lies in not forcing the decision immediately, but in really listening to your conscious and subconscious when it comes to making a decision. Avoid decision fatigue Whenever you feel like there’s too much to decide, start with the most urgent decision. Those decisions are often made more easily than the ones you have more time for. If the question comes up whether you want to do A or B, ask yourself which one came more naturally and first. This might sound ridiculous, but you might also flip a coin to confirm this. It’s not about the coin making the decision, but about your reaction when you see it. If you’re happy that the coin lands on one side, that's a big indication, just like if you feel very upset about the coin's side. Both are important pieces of feedback that you can use for yourself. What comes after the decision? Now, this is where things get really interesting. Have you ever heard the saying “Great decisions feel bad at first”? There’s a lot of truth to it. If you’ve just made a new kind of decision, you might have just overcome a long-standing pattern. You might have leaped into the unknown. You might have given up some security, whether that’s financial, personal, or simply on a nervous system level. Your nervous system is not designed to keep you happy, blooming, and growing. It is designed to keep you alive. It will always prefer a familiar surrounding to an unfamiliar one, even if the unfamiliar one turns out to be so much better for you. The growth process takes more than just a few weeks to implement. It can take months, and even years, in some cases. You mustn’t second-guess your decision for quite some time after making it. It is very normal to want to go back to the old situation, even though you were so sure about changing it in the first place. Wait for your nervous system to catch up. Soothe it. Nervous system regulation becomes crucial here. There are many wonderful techniques to do that, and you are now asked to hold yourself through this process. Give yourself a lot of grace. The importance of holding ambiguity Another important thing to consider is that growth-oriented decisions often bring grief. Most times, not as intensely as losing a loved one, but still. There might be a small part of your life that has just passed away. Something might have ended, and now you feel like a part of you is missing. That old version of your life has passed, while the new version might not yet be fully shaped. That in-between phase can hit the hardest. It’s when you need to keep trust in the new that is coming, while simultaneously mourning and letting go of the old. Even if you’re mostly happy that it’s over, you’re still allowed to miss all the good things about it. Especially in transition periods, it’s very normal to have one foot in the old and one foot in the new. Life is a paradox, and contradicting emotions can very well coexist. You can mourn the end of your relationship while also being deeply excited about new projects that are coming up for you. This is not at all a contradiction, but actually an embrace of life’s multidimensionality. And in many cases, it’s very temporary. An outlook on regret Regret is often something to be avoided completely in the process of decision-making. It can show up in many forms, and of course, it can feel very heavy and sometimes even permanent. But what if we could change our outlook on regret? Regret is actually a very good indicator of what you want and need more sustainably. It can be a refinement in decision-making. Instead of asking, "Was this wrong?", ask, "What does this show me?" Wherever regret shows up, you gain information. It reveals where you did not speak up loud enough, didn’t dare to go all in on yourself, where fear still had the upper hand, or where something was just not sustainable enough to endure in the long run. It also reveals what is really important to you. If it wasn’t important, the regret wouldn’t be so present in your mind. Used consciously, that information will become incredibly valuable for your future decision-making. Your regrets might actually hold some of the biggest wisdom in order for you to move forward. I’m not saying they’re easy to deal with, they’re certainly not. But they’re powerful indicators for all your future moves and decisions. So don’t push them aside, but consider them as your guidelines. They can actually help you if you let them. Do you need help making decisions? In conclusion, making decisions is a very tricky territory to navigate, but it is not to be feared. The steps mentioned above can be the first step to gaining more sovereignty in the process of decision-making. Applying them regularly builds self-trust and practice, so it gets easier. Doing the work alone is possible, but having a qualified thinking partner at your side who holds space and asks the right questions while you are making decisions based on your values and thoughts can be extremely helpful in the process. If you need help with that, book a coaching call today. Follow me on Instagram for more info! Read more from Constanze Zientek Constanze Zientek, Women‘s Coach Constanze Zientek is a women's coach working with highly sensitive women in their thirties. She supports them in cultivating inner strength, embodied leadership, and an authentic, aligned life. Her approach blends emotional depth, clarity, and self-trust. She furthermore practices as a lawyer with over ten year of work experience, specializing in inheritance law. Her work with clients in emotionally complex transitions, combined with her own journey through her thirties, led her to coaching. Today, she integrates structure and intuition to offer clear, deeply human guidance.

Written by Jivi Saran, Conscious Capitalism Scholar & Practitioner Jivi Saran is globally recognised, for advancing Quantum Business and Conscious Capitalism. A Senior Business Advisor, Scholar, and Best-Selling Author, Jivi blends rigorous research with 35 years of executive advisory experience to elevate leadership and business transformation. Some years ago, I sat across from a senior leader whose division had missed its numbers for the third consecutive quarter. She had already replaced two managers. She had a new dashboard, a new incentive structure, and a consultant's report explaining that the market had shifted. She wasn't unkind, and she wasn't lazy. She was, by every conventional measure, doing everything right. I asked her one question. What if, for five minutes, we believed the issue was you? She did not answer. She did not argue. For roughly five seconds, she said nothing at all, and in that silence, I watched a capable, intelligent person see herself for the first time in a long while. Nothing I said had accused her of anything. I had simply held something up and waited. I have thought about those five seconds many times since. I am thinking about them now because I have come to believe that artificial intelligence is asking every leader that same question, and it is asking it at a scale none of us anticipated. The question we keep asking, and the one we are avoiding Almost every conversation I have with executives about artificial intelligence begins the same way. Will it replace us? Will it replace our people? How do we protect what is human in leadership from a technology that seems, at times, to have no need for it? These are reasonable questions, and I do not dismiss them. But I want to suggest a gentler and more useful one: what is it showing us? Every model an organization deploys is trained on a record. Not an abstract record, but a specific one: the decisions that organization has already made. Who was hired. Who was promoted. Whose proposals were funded and whose were quietly set aside. Whose judgment was trusted in the room, and whose judgment never made it into the room at all. The model does not invent a view of the organization. It learns the one that is already there. Then it reflects that view back with a fidelity no performance review, engagement survey, or culture audit has ever achieved. It does this without the flattery we have learned to expect from our own systems, and without the diplomatic softening we have learned to expect from each other. It simply does not look away first. That is what a mirror does. It is also, I would argue, the most honest one we have ever built. What my research found, and what the mirror adds to it For my doctoral work, I studied 202 leaders across the financial sector, examining the relationship between what they were capable of and what they enacted in their organizations. The finding that has stayed with me is not that leaders lack capacity. Most of them have plenty. The finding is that a consistent, measurable gap exists between capacity and enactment, and that this gap is one of the strongest predictors of whether strategy succeeds or stalls. For a long time, I understood that gap as an individual problem. A leader knows what to do and does not do it. A leader senses something is wrong and does not say so. I assumed the work was to close the distance inside the person. What the mirror adds is uncomfortable and clarifying. The gap was never evenly distributed. Some people in every organization have been given enormous room to enact their judgment. Their instincts became decisions, their decisions became precedent, and their precedent became the training data. Other people, often those who did not look or sound like the organization's existing picture of a leader, carried just as much capacity and were given far less room to use it. Their judgment stayed unenacted. It never entered the record. So when we train a model on the record, it learns, with great confidence, from the people who were allowed to be visible. This is not a technical flaw to be patched. It accurately reflects who we decided to listen to. Reading the reflection without flinching I want to be careful here, because it would be easy to turn this into an accusation, and accusation is not what a mirror offers. When that leader sat in silence across from me, she was not being charged with anything. She was being invited to recognize something. The difference matters, because recognition can lead somewhere and accusation usually cannot. So here is what I have started asking the leaders I work with, in the spirit of that invitation. When you look at what your organization's artificial intelligence systems prioritize, recommend, and reward, whose judgment do you see reflected there? Whose do you not see? If the model consistently surfaces the same kinds of candidates, the same kinds of ideas, the same kinds of risks worth taking, that is not the model's preference. It is yours, rendered visible. Then the harder question, the five-minute one. What if the issue is not the algorithm? What if the algorithm is simply the first thing in the building that has told you the truth about your own pattern? This is where diversity and inclusion stop being a parallel initiative and become the central leadership question of the AI era. Not because inclusion is a value we should hold, though I believe it is, but because exclusion has now become a measurable defect in our systems. Every voice we did not make room for is a voice the model cannot learn from. Every judgment that went unenacted is intelligence our organizations have quietly discarded, and the mirror is now showing us the cost. The seconds after we see ourselves I do not think the future of leadership will be decided by how sophisticated our models become. I think it will be decided by what we do in the seconds after we see ourselves in them. There are only two options, and both are familiar. We can look away. We can attribute the reflection to bad data, to bias in the tool, to something outside ourselves that a vendor can fix. That is the path of least discomfort, and most organizations will take it. Or we can stay. We can keep looking, past the initial recognition, long enough to ask what we want to do differently now that we can see it. That is harder. It is also the only version of conscious leadership I have ever seen change anything. The leader I began with stayed. After those five seconds, she didn't defend herself, and she didn't collapse. She asked, quietly, what I was seeing that she wasn't. We spent the next hour on that question, and the year that followed on the answer. Her division did not recover because she got a better dashboard. It recovered because she was willing to sit with a reflection she had not asked for. A mirror only becomes useful when someone chooses to keep looking. Consciousness is not what we see. It is whether we stay. That is what I will be exploring with fellow panelists at the World Diversity in Leadership Conference in Edmonton this month. I hope you will consider it too, in whatever room you lead, the next time a system reflects something back that you would rather not have seen. Follow me on LinkedIn and Instagram for more info! Read more from Jivi Saran Jivi Saran, Conscious Capitalism Scholar & Practitioner Jivi Saran is a transformative business advisor, scholar, and thought leader whose work bridges quantum principles, human consciousness, and organizational strategy. With over 35 years of guiding executive teams, she empowers leaders to make purposeful, future-shaping decisions that elevate both performance and humanity. As the founder of Quantum Business Growth and author of Quantum Business: Leading with Soul in a World of Systems, Jivi champions a new era of leadership grounded in clarity, coherence, and conscious capitalism.

Written by Randy Franciscus Johannes Laumen, Holistic Health Coach Randy Franciscus Johannes Laumen is a holistic health coach specializing in physical health, mental well-being, and identity-based lifestyle change. He is the co-founder of We The Fit People and the author of Your Metabolic Reset (2025), focused on restoring metabolic health and overcoming insulin resistance. Every January, millions of people reach for the same tool to change their health: willpower. They resolve to eat less, move more, and force themselves into a better life through sheer determination. Every February, most of them are back where they started, not because they are weak, but because they were handed the wrong tool for the job. Willpower was never designed to build a life. It was designed to survive a moment. We have built an entire culture of health around a fundamental misunderstanding. We treat lasting change as a test of character, a matter of wanting it badly enough, pushing hard enough, and resisting temptation long enough. When it fails, as it almost always does, we blame the person rather than the method. But the failure is not moral. It is structural. Willpower is simply the wrong instrument, and no amount of it will do a job it was never built for. The man who kept starting over Let me tell you about a patient, a composite drawn from the countless people I have watched repeat the same cycle. We will call him Tom. When he came to me, he had lost the same fifteen kilograms at least four times. He was, in his own words, an expert at starting. Every attempt followed the same arc. A surge of motivation: a photo he disliked, a number on the scale, a doctor's warning. A strict new regime imposed overnight. Two, maybe three weeks of iron discipline. Then the slow erosion: a hard day at work, a bad night's sleep, a moment of stress, and the whole structure collapsing back into old patterns. Each time, he concluded the same thing. He had failed. He lacked discipline. He simply was not strong enough. Tom did not have a willpower problem. He had a strategy problem. He was using motivation and force to power behaviors that were in direct conflict with how he saw himself. Deep down, he still believed he was someone who was bad with food, who could not stick to things, and who had always been this way. Every diet was an attempt to act against that identity through brute effort. It is exhausting to spend all day being someone you do not believe you are. Eventually, always, the effort runs out, and you snap back to the self you never stopped believing in. Why willpower was never going to work Willpower is a real and useful capacity. It can get you through a difficult hour, a single hard decision, or a moment of acute temptation. But it has a defining characteristic that makes it catastrophic as a foundation for lasting health: it is effortful, and effort cannot be sustained indefinitely. Anything that requires you to consciously override yourself every single day is a system with a built-in expiry date. This is why the person who relies on willpower is always, in a sense, fighting themselves. One part of them is trying to force a behavior; another part is quietly waiting for the force to weaken. It always weakens under stress, fatigue, illness, or simply the ordinary depletion of a demanding life. The moment it does, the old pattern, which required no effort at all, reasserts itself. Willpower is rowing against a current. It works right up until you get tired, and then the river takes you exactly where it was always going to. The research on motivation makes this even clearer. Decades of work on self-determination theory by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan show that behavior driven by external pressure or internal coercion is fragile and short-lived, while behavior that is genuinely self-endorsed, that flows from a sense of autonomy and personal ownership, is far more durable. In other words, change that feels like something you are forcing yourself to do will not last. Change that feels like an expression of who you are will. The difference is not how hard you push. It is where the behavior comes from. What actually works: Change who you are, not just what you do If willpower is the wrong tool, what is the right one? The answer, supported by both behavioral science and my own clinical experience, is identity. As author James Clear puts it in his work on identity-based habits, your behaviors are a reflection of who you believe you are. Every action you take is, in a sense, a vote for a particular version of yourself. Try to change the actions while leaving the underlying identity untouched, and you are fighting uphill forever. Change the identity, and the actions begin to follow on their own. This is the difference between saying, "I am trying to lose weight," and "I am someone who takes care of my body." The first is a goal you are straining toward from the outside, powered by willpower. The second is an identity you are living from the inside, and the behaviors that express it require far less force because they are no longer a contradiction of who you are. They are a confirmation of it. A person who genuinely believes they are someone who takes care of themselves does not need willpower to choose the walk, the sleep, or the better meal. They simply act in character. Here, my own foundation in the psychology of Alfred Adler adds a further layer. Adler understood, a century ago, that human beings are not merely pushed by their circumstances but pulled by the vision of who they are trying to become. We move toward the self we believe in. This means the most powerful lever in health change is not a stricter rule or a greater exertion of force. It is a revision of the self-concept, a genuine shift in the story a person tells about who they are and what they are capable of. Behavior change, done properly, is identity change done from its roots. What changed for Tom We did not begin with a meal plan. Tom had a drawer full of meal plans. We began with the story he told about himself, the quiet, unquestioned belief that he was someone who was bad at this, who always failed, and who could not be trusted to follow through. That belief was the current he had been rowing against for years, and no diet was ever going to be stronger than it. So we worked, deliberately and patiently, on evidence. Not a dramatic overhaul, but small, repeatable actions that cast a vote for a different identity, proof gathered day by day that he was, in fact, becoming someone who takes care of himself. A short walk kept. A single better choice, repeated. Each small win was not important for the calories it burned. It was important for the belief it built. Slowly, the story began to change. As the story changed, the behaviors that had always required so much force began to require less because they were no longer at war with who he believed he was. The last time we spoke, Tom had not lost weight through a heroic act of discipline. He had become a different kind of person, and the weight was simply what happened downstream of that. He was no longer an expert at starting. He had, for the first time, become someone who did not need to start over because he had stopped fighting himself. Put down the wrong tool If you have tried again and again to force your way to better health and watched it collapse each time, I want to offer you a more accurate diagnosis than the one you have probably given yourself. You are not weak. You are not lacking in discipline. You have been using a tool built for moments to do the work of a lifetime, and it has failed you exactly the way it fails almost everyone. The path that lasts does not run through more force. It runs through a quieter and more profound shift: becoming, genuinely, the kind of person for whom a healthy life is not a daily battle but a natural expression of who they are. That is not a matter of willpower. It is a matter of identity. Identity, unlike willpower, does not run out when you get tired. Stop asking yourself to try harder. Start asking yourself a better question: Who would I have to become for this to feel effortless, and how do I begin, in small and honest ways, to become that person today? Change from the inside out If you recognize yourself in Tom, the endless restarting, the motivation that always fades, and the quiet self-blame, it may be time to stop forcing behaviors and start building the identity they flow from. At We The Fit People, our Body-Mind-Identity approach is built on exactly this principle. We do not hand you another regimen to white-knuckle your way through. We help you become the kind of person for whom lasting health is not a fight but a way of being. Change from the inside out is the only change that stays. Book a consultation today on my website, and let's change it from the inside out. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Randy Franciscus Johannes Laumen Randy Franciscus Johannes Laumen, Holistic Health Coach Randy Franciscus Johannes Laumen is a psychiatric nurse and an emerging voice in the health space, focused on preventing chronic illness before it takes root. With a background in mental health and applied training in Functional Medicine, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and lifestyle-based interventions, he bridges the gap between conventional care and long-term well-being. Together with his wife, Sabrina Gutierrez, he co-founded We The Fit People, a platform dedicated to empowering individuals to take responsibility for their health. He is also the author of Your Metabolic Reset (2025), available on Amazon. Further readings: Why Your Brain Is Running Your Metabolism and Not the Other Way Around How Chronic Disease Builds Long Before You Get the Diagnosis Are We Treating Disease Instead of Creating Health? Identity-Based Habits – James Clear Self-Determination Theory – Ryan and Deci

Written by Dr. Mansi S. Rai, Public Sector Finance Researcher Dr. Mansi S. Rai is a public-sector finance researcher, author, and educator whose work spans digital taxation, economic policy, and public storytelling. She also shares insights on finance, career, and personal growth through her growing YouTube platform. We spent centuries studying animals because we assumed we were the more intelligent species. We measured their memory, communication, migration, cooperation, problem-solving, and survival. We asked how much they understood. How much they resembled us. But perhaps we framed the question incorrectly. An ant has never read about productivity. A bee has never studied organizational design. A wolf has never attended a seminar on teamwork. A camel has never read about resilience. An owl has never taken a course in critical thinking. Yet somehow, the systems exist. Humans, meanwhile, name everything. We create theories, frameworks, conferences, and books around behaviors nature has been practicing quietly for millions of years. Maybe intelligence is not only the ability to invent something new. Maybe it is also the humility to recognize what already works. That thought led me to another alphabet. Not the one we teach children. One for adults. A. Ant: Work before applause An ant does not announce that it has started. It simply carries what needs carrying. Humans may be the only species that wants recognition while the work is still unfinished. We have become very good at documenting beginnings. Nature seems more interested in completion. B. Bee: Let success pollinate A bee gathers what it needs while helping something else grow. Perhaps success should not only be measured by what we accumulate. Perhaps it should also be measured by what grows because we passed through. A career that advances only one person is successful in one sense. A career that leaves stronger people, better systems, or new possibilities behind may be successful in another. C. Camel: Stop spending energy on every desert The camel does not argue with the desert. It conserves enough energy to cross it. Humans do the opposite surprisingly often. We spend tomorrow's strength replaying yesterday's insult. We respond to opinions that cannot change our direction. We explain ourselves to people committed to misunderstanding us. Not every battle deserves the energy required to win it. D. Dog: We made affection too complicated Humans invented thousands of words and still struggle to say, “You matter to me.” We calculate response times. We hide enthusiasm. We measure vulnerability. A dog rarely leaves affection open to interpretation. Maybe emotional maturity is not becoming harder to read. Maybe it is becoming more honest. E. Eagle: Change altitude From the ground, an obstacle can occupy the entire horizon. From above, it becomes part of the landscape. Sometimes the problem is not the problem. It is the altitude from which we are looking at it. A day can feel catastrophic from inside the day. A year later, it may look like a turn in the road. Perspective does not remove difficulty. It changes proportion. F. Falcon: Attention is wealth Everybody wants your attention. Platforms. News. Work. Messages. People. Because attention eventually becomes time, and time eventually becomes life. The falcon reminds us of something modern humans increasingly struggle to protect: focus. In a distracted world, attention may become one of the rarest forms of power. G. Goose: Leadership can move Humans attach leadership to titles. Nature sometimes passes it around. The person in front does not always need to remain there. Sometimes leadership belongs to expertise. Sometimes to experience. Sometimes to whoever can see farther in that moment. The strongest leader may be the one secure enough to let someone else take the front. H. Horse: Strength does not need performance Real power rarely needs to announce itself every few minutes. A horse can possess enormous strength without displaying all of it. Humans often confuse aggression with authority and loudness with confidence. But controlled strength is often more impressive than performed strength. Not everything powerful needs to look powerful. I. Ibex: Difficult terrain is not always the wrong direction Humans sometimes treat friction as evidence. If this were right, shouldn't it be easier? Not necessarily. Some roads are simply steep. Education can be steep. Migration can be steep. Starting again can be steep. The better question may not be whether something is difficult. It may be whether the difficulty is building you or breaking you. J. Jaguar: We may be announcing our lives faster than we are building them Modern life encourages narration. The new project. The new goal. The new identity. The new plan. Sometimes public declaration creates accountability. Sometimes it gives us the emotional reward of progress before progress has occurred. Not everything needs an audience while it is becoming. Some things grow better in silence. K. Kangaroo: Protect what is still developing Humans often expose fragile beginnings too early. A new idea. A new ambition. A recovering identity. Then we are surprised when criticism reaches something that had not yet developed enough strength to survive it. Protection is not always fear. Sometimes it is stewardship. Not everything growing in you needs immediate exposure. L. Lion: Leadership is more burden than symbol Humans love the image of leadership. The title. The position. The recognition. We are less fascinated by responsibility. Decision-making. Consequences. Accountability. Protection. A crown that improves nothing around it is merely decoration. Status asks to be recognized. Leadership asks to be useful. M. Meerkat: Someone has to look up We can become extraordinarily efficient at surviving the day. Emails. Deadlines. Bills. Meetings. Messages. But a life can become so occupied with immediate tasks that nobody asks where all the activity is leading. Someone has to watch the horizon. Organizations call it strategy. Individuals might simply call it perspective. Productivity without direction is efficient wandering. N. Nightingale: Silence is not always wisdom Sometimes silence is maturity. Sometimes it is fear with good branding. The question goes unasked. The boundary stays unclear. The idea never enters the room. The appreciation never reaches the person who deserved it. The lesson is not to speak constantly. It is to know when your voice matters enough to use. O. Owl: Observe before concluding The world does not lack opinions. It may lack people willing to observe long enough before forming one. We see a headline and decide. A person behaves differently, and we invent motive. A message goes unanswered, and we write the whole story ourselves. Perhaps one of the most intelligent sentences left is: “I do not know enough yet.” P. Penguin: Community is not weakness Humans admire independence. Self-made. Self-sufficient. Strong. But almost nobody is truly self-made. Someone taught us. Hired us. Fed us. Encouraged us. Built the road. Opened the door. Community does not make independence weaker. Sometimes community is what makes independence possible. Q. Quail: Small does not mean insignificant Humans confuse size with importance. Bigger audience. Bigger title. Bigger company. Bigger number. But significance and scale are not the same thing. A life can matter deeply without becoming widely known. Not everything meaningful needs to become enormous. R. Raven: Intelligence means updating Humans are often very attached to being right. Sometimes more attached than we are to reality. But intelligence without adaptability becomes rigidity. New evidence should be allowed to change old conclusions. Changing your mind is not always inconsistency. Sometimes it is proof that your mind is still working. S. Salmon: Resistance does not always mean the wrong direction Swimming with the current is easier. Socially, too. Agreeing is easier. Following the expected timeline is easier. Choosing what others understand is easier. Sometimes that is the right choice. Sometimes the meaningful destination is upstream. A life designed only to avoid resistance can quietly become a life designed by everyone except the person living it. T. Turtle: Perhaps being behind is a human invention Someone graduated earlier. Earned more earlier. Married earlier. Bought a house earlier. Found success earlier. Humans convert other people's timelines into imaginary deadlines. A turtle does not become unsuccessful because something else moves faster. Slow is still a speed. Continuation may matter more than comparison. U. Urchin: Boundaries are information Boundaries are often treated as rejection. They are usually closer to instruction. This is what I can give. This is what I cannot. This is where my responsibility ends. Kindness without boundaries can eventually become resentment. Sometimes the reason something remains gentle is that a boundary prevented it from being consumed. V. Vulture: Civilization depends on work nobody wants to photograph Humans celebrate creation. Launches. Innovation. Growth. Newness. We are less glamorous about repair. Cleanup. Correction. Maintenance. Audit. Recovery. Yet systems collapse without them. Civilization depends on people willing to handle what everybody else would rather leave behind. W. Wolf: Independence is powerful, isolation is something else The popular image of the lone wolf is interesting because wolves are deeply social animals. Humans need both solitude and belonging. There are things nobody can do for you. You must make the decision. Take the risk. Do the work. But strength does not require permanent isolation. Maturity may be knowing when to walk alone and when to return to the pack. X. Xerus: Resourcefulness beats perfect conditions Humans spend years waiting for the right time. When things settle. When confidence arrives. When money improves. When fear disappears. Perfect conditions are convenient because they never have to arrive. Resourcefulness asks a better question: What can I do with what I have? Limitations do not always end a possibility. Sometimes they simply define the design. Y. Yak: Just because you can carry more does not mean you should Competence attracts responsibility. The reliable person gets more work. The strong friend gets more emergencies. The capable family member gets more problems. Eventually, strength can become a trap. Capacity and obligation are not the same thing. The fact that you can carry something does not mean it belongs on your back. Z. Zebra: Belonging should not require becoming indistinguishable Humans spend enormous energy learning how to fit. Tone this down. Hide that. Explain this. Change that. Adaptation can be intelligent. Erasure is something else. The things that make a person harder to categorize may eventually become the very things that make them valuable. Belonging should not require becoming unrecognizable to yourself. Perhaps we have been asking nature the wrong question Nature is not gentle all the time. It is cooperative and competitive. Beautiful and brutal. Protective and indifferent. The point is not to romanticize animals. It is to notice patterns. Cooperation. Adaptation. Focus. Protection. Resilience. Community. Boundaries. Specialization. Renewal. Humans eventually gave these ideas names. Then theories. Then frameworks. Then books explaining the frameworks. Perhaps there is something humbling about realizing that many ideas we describe as modern insights are older than civilization. The ant worked before productivity became an industry. The bee created mutual value before humans called it ecosystem thinking. The camel conserved resources before resilience became a leadership competency. The goose shared effort before distributed leadership acquired a name. The wolf understood community before networking became strategy. We learned our first alphabet so we could read the world. Perhaps adulthood requires another one so we can understand it. For centuries, humans have asked how intelligent animals are. Maybe we have finally become intelligent enough to ask a different question: What do they already understand that we keep having to relearn? Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Mansi S. Rai Dr. Mansi S. Rai, Public Sector Finance Researcher Dr.Mansi S. Rai is a public service finance researcher, author, and speaker whose work focuses on digital taxation, financial governance, and the transformation of modern economic systems. Her research, published on platforms such as Social Science Research Network (SSRN), explores how emerging technologies reshape nexus, apportionment, and public sector compliance. Dr. Rai is also an educator and storyteller through her YouTube channels, where she shares insights on finance, career developments, international student pathways, and personal growth. With an academic background in finance and accountancy, she is dedicated to making complex economic and policy concepts accessible to a global audience. Her mission is to empower individuals with clarity and knowledge.

Written by Katja Christine Strube, Grief Counselor & Author Katja is a Grief Counselor & Author whose compassionate and innovative approach to grief, loss, and trauma offers clients hope and renewed purpose. She authored "Dealing with Grief," a practical guide explaining why death remains taboo and how to break free from grief's grip. As we entered 2026, astrological prophecies predicted that the Year of the Snake would end its shedding season in 2025. With the new Fire Horse season beginning in 2026, we will all be better, faster, and more abundant. I view this situation from a different angle. In September 2025, my brother passed away, quite fittingly, during shedding season. This may sound sarcastic and somewhat disrespectful, but the reality is that death brings a lot of shedding. One might hope the grieving process becomes gentler and more transcendent as we revisit difficult times on the fiery horse of memory. But again, it is all a matter of perspective. When we grieve, we lose far more than the physical presence of our loved ones. We deeply miss their smiles, the unique ways they communicated with us, the sound of their voices, and the routines we shared. Perhaps what hurts even more is the loss of our home, now gone, stripping us of our purpose and leaving us with little reason to carry on as we once did. Or the way we carry on family traditions, trying to make them work even when they no longer have real meaning. These losses weigh so heavily on one person, and no matter how much we try to make our lives work now, we struggle. This state of being has a name: secondary losses. This is a gentle reminder for everyone grieving deeply right now that you are not alone. Your feelings are completely valid. Even in summer, when everything seems lively, warm, and full of activity, your sense of loss can feel overwhelming and heavy. No matter how we see this year, it will always feel like an empty timeline as we desperately try not to drown in our heavy emotions. Please accept this reminder with gratitude and deepest sympathy. We refer to it as a Fire Horse season, but for those who are grieving, it might not seem like a stallion. It may only feel like a mare. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself during this difficult time. There’s no need to rush the healing process or to count the days, weeks, or months since you’ve experienced your loss. Give yourself all the time you need to grieve, process, and heal. Allow yourself to truly feel your emotions because your feelings are valid, important, and deserve acknowledgment. Remember, healing isn’t linear, and your journey is unique. Be patient and kind to yourself every step of the way. Trying to survive a loss isn’t about constructing an illusion that you are still the same person you were before the loss. The truth is, you change in an instant, and what once mattered deeply may no longer hold the same significance. It’s important not to rush into fixing or creating new meanings before you’ve truly had time to process the physical and emotional pain of your loss. Giving yourself permission to sit in silence and listen to your inner voice can be deeply healing. Ask yourself honestly what you need right now to cope. Be truthful with yourself, and avoid downplaying your feelings to protect others or keep the peace within your family. There’s a reason your inner voice grows more urgent when you feel unable to cope. It’s reaching out for the truth. If the overwhelming noise of grief and processing becomes too much, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Partner with trusted family members or friends, but kindly remind them that this isn’t about giving advice or fixing you. It’s about speaking your thoughts aloud, allowing feelings to surface naturally, and putting them into words. When you can do this without overthinking, you will often discover the answers you seek. Remember, this process doesn’t mean you are replacing your loved one or delaying your grief. It’s about finding your personal truth and giving yourself space to grieve authentically. Ultimately, this journey leads you to a healthier, more compassionate understanding of your loss, helping you move forward when you are ready, with greater strength and clarity. It truly doesn’t matter what year it is or how we perceive it. What matters is how you allow yourself to experience and process your personal loss. If those thoughts feel frightening and unfamiliar at first, remind yourself gently that you are worthy of love and understanding, and that everything you do and feel matters profoundly. Remember, you have gotten through each morning despite the constant pain of grief, and that resilience shows your hidden strength. Trust in your own intuition. It has carried you this far, and it will continue to guide you through the healing process. We are all in this together, and living with grief is a challenging journey that no one truly wishes to endure. It’s important to recognize and acknowledge the strength it takes to show up for yourself every day, even when the pain feels overwhelming. That ongoing effort deserves compassion and reassurance. I want you to know that I am keeping each of you close in my thoughts as I mourn the loss of my brother. Please accept my deepest love and heartfelt sympathy during this difficult time. Remember, you are not alone in this, and support is always available to help you through. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Katja Christine Strube Katja Christine Strube, Grief Counselor & Author Katja has dedicated her life to helping others overcome feelings of disconnect and not belonging. After experiencing personal trauma and loss, she found renewed purpose through volunteering with a local Hospice, offering support to clients facing difficult life challenges. Her extensive academic achievements and personal experiences allow her to understand her clients' struggles from multiple perspectives. Her compassion and empathy make her guidance impactful. Through unwavering commitment, she transforms counseling into a healing and empowering experience. References: Speaking Grief. Understanding Grief: Secondary losses. (n.d.). Yang, M. (2026, March 23). Year of the Fire Horse explained: The Chinese zodiac sign that’s all about intensity. The Guardian.

Written by Dr. Jackie "JP" Phillips, Business Strategist Dr. Jackie "JP" Phillips is an entrepreneur, strategic project leader, and Founder of The Unheard Empire. She writes about leadership, entrepreneurship, ownership, innovation, and the discipline required to build opportunities where others see barriers. Welcome to The Discipline to Build! What happens when the “unheard” start building? My answer is layered, yet simple. The unheard get tired of waiting for permission, waiting to be invited, waiting to be seen or heard. The natural next thing to do is to build! Deciding to build has layers that we don’t discuss enough. One of those layers is the actual decision to build, and that is only the beginning. There is a part of building that isn’t talked about nearly enough. It happens after the excitement of the idea, but before the results are visible. I call it the “Vision and I” stage. You see it clearly and can almost feel the impact. No one else does, and you can’t explain it well enough to paint the picture. This space is highly uncomfortable and, in some cases, even lonely. Without discipline, this phase can often convince you to abandon something that isn’t showing results fast enough. I have dwelled in this space and know it well! Today, people see what I’ve built, The Unheard Empire. People see the businesses, the programs, the partnerships, the platforms, and the community initiatives. What isn’t visible are the years when it was all ideas, notes, research, rejections, proposals, lessons, relationship building, and flat-out work. Yes, the work: long hours, short breaks, and sacrifices from the inside out. When there is something impactful to be built, someone must be willing to work in the “invisible” stage. News flash, that is where discipline begins. There is little to no applause for the foundation. We admire the shiny finished product. When we admire a finished building, our eyes naturally move upward. We notice the design, the height, the windows, and everything we believe makes it impressive. Very few people admire the foundation being built because, let’s admit it, there is nothing glamorous about it. But the foundation is what determines whether everything above it can survive. The same is true in business, leadership, careers, and life. Research is part of the foundation. Certifications are part of the foundation. Time and energy management are part of the foundation. A healthy relationship with money is part of the foundation. Process improvement, relationship building, learning new skills, and, my favorite, making mistakes are all part of the foundation. We have become so accustomed to seeing the finished product that it is easy to mistake preparation for a lack of progress. We want to rush through the part that sustains us the most. As tempting as it is to rush through, it is extremely dangerous. In most cases, some of the most important work you will ever do will produce nothing impressive enough to announce. Guess what, though, my friend: roll up your sleeves and do it anyway. I am living proof that the work nobody celebrates is often the work that makes everything else possible. Vision has an uncomfortable side that can be hard to explain. We talk about vision as though it is always exciting. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it is exhausting. Being able to see an opportunity before other people means you must explain something they don’t yet understand. You invest time before there is a return. The evidence looks small, but you just keep plugging away at this vision. One of the toughest parts of being a builder is having the evidence in your imagination before you can show it in your hand. I walked into industries and rooms where there were few people who looked like me. Instead of allowing that absence to tell me I didn’t belong, I began to ask more questions. One of my favorite questions to ask is: Why is the absence there, and what could be built in that space? That question helped shape seven businesses. I was not interested in creating businesses just to say that I owned them. I kept running into the same problem: talented people, particularly those from overlooked communities, lacked access and were not properly informed about the pathways and platforms available to help them become great. The opportunities were not always obvious, and that is a problem. Builders realize that this problem is an invitation to take action. There is an important lesson every builder must learn: you need feedback, not validation. Keeping the two separate can get tricky. Feedback helps you improve the work. Validation makes you feel better about the work. If your commitment depends on applause, likes, views, titles, awards, immediate revenue, or attention, you are in for a world of hurt... pause and reconsider. I have learned to hold myself accountable and ask the harder questions, one being: Would I still do the work if nobody knew I was doing it? This question strips away performance and leaves discipline. Of course, results matter. Businesses need revenue, leaders need outcomes, and strategies need measurement. However, builders must be flexible enough to change direction when something isn’t working. Changing course because the strategy isn’t a fit is very different from quitting because the applause is gone. Be careful not to confuse silence with failure. People often celebrate results, but very few appreciate the reps that created them. I want to sit there for a moment because I believe repetition is one of the least glamorous and most powerful parts of building. We see the announcement, but not the fifty-four attempts to collaborate, the proposals that came before the winning one, the preparation, or the systems being built and rebuilt at midnight. Social media has made outcomes incredibly visible while making the process almost invisible, creating a distorted expectation of what progress looks like. Real building is repetitive: you learn, you execute, you measure, you adjust where needed, and then you repeat. The real gem is that sometimes you repeat long enough that what once looked like an overnight success finally becomes visible enough to truly share. Recognition can arrive at any moment based on subjective variables. Readiness does not work that way. My advice: keep building until the evidence catches up! There will be moments when the results do not match the size of your effort. You will question the timeline. You may even rethink the entire plan. It’s all part of the process for true builders. Discipline does not mean blindly holding onto every idea. Strong builders know when to pivot, when to improve, when to listen, and when to release something that isn’t working. Your only responsibility is this: no matter what, keep building. When you have put in the proper reps, the evidence can speak louder than any explanation ever could. The build challenge Before we meet again next month, I want you to identify one thing you stopped building because the response was not what you expected. Don’t ask whether enough people noticed it. Ask yourself these three questions: Is the problem I wanted to solve still real? Does what I am building still have value? What could happen if I gave it another 90–180 days of disciplined execution? If the answers still support the vision, stop waiting for applause, get to work, and build! At The Unheard Empire, our guiding principle remains the same: "We Don’t Complain... We Create." Last month, that meant creating opportunities and spaces that did not exist. This month, it means continuing to create before everyone understands what you are building, because the unheard have never lacked talent, but sometimes the world simply hasn’t seen the work yet. Yet there is another side of building we need to discuss. What happens when you have believed, worked, put in countless reps, and persisted, but the vision begins to feel heavy? What happens when the dream becomes work? That is when persistence must become something deeper than motivation. We will talk about that next month! Until then, keep building, keep creating, and give the work enough time and space to become visible. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Jackie "JP" Phillips Dr. Jackie "JP" Phillips, Business Strategist Dr. Jackie "JP" Phillips is an entrepreneur, strategic business leader, project management executive, and the Founder and CEO of The Unheard Empire, a multi-company organization committed to expanding opportunity through business ownership, workforce development, media, energy, agriculture, investments, logistics, and sports management. With more than two decades of entrepreneurial experience and an accomplished career leading enterprise initiatives across multiple industries, she has built a reputation for transforming complex ideas into practical, scalable solutions.

Written by Lindsay Evans & Danielle McGrath, Co-Founders of Nourish Live Flow Twin sisters Danielle McGrath & Lindsay Evans are co-founders of Nourish Live Flow, a holistic wellness brand for women in midlife. As certified integrative holistic health coaches, clean living experts, and breathwork and meditation guides, they help women reset their nervous systems, reduce toxic load, and thrive through perimenopause and beyond. For years, many women have been taught that struggling through midlife means eating less, exercising harder, and pushing through exhaustion. But for women in perimenopause, this approach often backfires and leaves them more depleted, not less. The truth is, the body in perimenopause isn't asking for restriction. It's asking for nourishment. Hormonal shifts during this stage affect metabolism, blood sugar regulation, sleep, and even mood, all of which are deeply influenced by how, and how well, we're nourishing our bodies. Yet so many women continue chasing outdated diet advice built for a body they no longer have, wondering why nothing seems to work the way it used to. Why restriction backfires in midlife In our 20s and 30s, many of us could get away with skipping meals, overexercising, or following restrictive diet trends without our bodies protesting too loudly. But in perimenopause, declining estrogen affects how your body manages blood sugar, stores fat, and responds to stress. This means restriction doesn't just fail to work anymore; it can actively work against you. When we undereat or overexercise during this stage, the body often interprets it as a threat, not a goal. Cortisol rises. Sleep suffers. Cravings intensify. And instead of feeling lighter and more energized, many women find themselves more exhausted, more inflamed, and more disconnected from their bodies than they were before. This is why so many of the women we work with tell us the same thing: "I'm doing everything right, so why do I feel worse?" The answer is usually that "everything right" was designed for a different body at a different life stage. What nourishment actually looks like in perimenopause Nourishment isn't about eating less. Rather, it's about eating in a way that actually supports what your body needs right now. In our work with women through Nourish Live Flow, we focus on a few foundational shifts: Protein, prioritized. As estrogen declines, so does muscle mass, unless we're actively working to preserve it. Prioritizing protein at each meal, not just dinner, helps maintain strength, supports blood sugar balance, and keeps energy more stable throughout the day. Blood sugar, steadied. Big spikes and crashes in blood sugar can worsen mood swings, cravings, and fatigue, which are all already heightened in perimenopause. Pairing carbohydrates with protein and healthy fats, rather than eating them alone, helps smooth this out. Fiber increased. Fiber supports hormone metabolism, digestion, and gut health, three things that often become more sensitive during this transition. Vegetables, legumes, and whole grains all play a role here. Consistency over perfection. Rather than offering another rigid meal plan, we teach women to build a flexible rhythm of regular meals, enough food, and enough variety that they can actually sustain, instead of following another diet destined to be abandoned by week three. A mindset shift, not just a meal plan Perhaps the biggest shift isn't nutritional at all. It's the mindset shift from controlling the body to supporting it. Many women come to us exhausted from decades of diet culture, still chasing a body and a set of rules that no longer serve them. Learning to nourish instead of restrict is often as much an emotional unlearning as it is a nutritional one. This is where our Four-Pillar approach comes full circle. Nourishment doesn't exist in isolation from Mindset or Nervous System regulation. A body under chronic stress may struggle to properly digest and absorb nutrients, no matter how "clean" the diet is. True nourishment means feeding the body and calming the nervous system at the same time. The bottom line If you're in perimenopause and feel like your old approach to food and fitness has stopped working, you're not imagining it, and you're not failing. Your body has changed, and it's asking for a different kind of care, one rooted in nourishment, not restriction. Find our workshops and programs here! Follow me on Facebook for more info! Read more from Lindsay Evans & Danielle McGrath Lindsay Evans & Danielle McGrath, Co-Founders of Nourish Live Flow Danielle McGrath and Lindsay Evans are holistic health and wellness coaches specializing in perimenopause and midlife. After navigating their own challenges, they created the 4-Pillar Nourish & Thrive in Perimenopause framework: mindset and intentions, nervous system regulation, nourishment, and reducing toxic load. With backgrounds in physiotherapy, acupuncture, nutrition, integrative holistic health coaching, and clean-living advocacy, they bring a uniquely practical and preventative lens to women’s health. Their mission is simple: to empower women to thrive, not just survive, through midlife and beyond.

Written by Katja Christine Strube, Grief Counselor & Author Katja's compassionate and innovative approach to grief, loss, and trauma offers clients hope and renewed purpose. She authored "Dealing with Grief," a practical guide explaining why death remains taboo and how to break free from grief's grip. Generational trauma is real. Mothers raise their daughters the way their mothers raised them. Even if this means teaching their daughters to suffer in silence in a relationship and to obey instead of choosing freedom and love. It might also mean neglecting or abusing their children the same way they were treated by their parents. Or it might mean fathers teaching their sons to be strong and to suck it up when it comes to emotions. Sometimes, they may teach them that ignoring their feelings and being the family's provider is the only true way to go. Even further, if they do not get things the way they want, drinking or other substance use, neglect, or abuse is considered okay to keep order in the family.[1] As an example, my ex-husband and I both grew up in households where love was shown only when we excelled or proved useful to the family. Meanwhile, our families were unhappy, faced financial difficulties, and harboured resentment towards the world. So, to simplify it, the way our parents, and probably their parents before them, portrayed the definition of family to us was reflected in our relationship. Diving a bit deeper, we have two people who meet at one point. They are fully attracted to each other, and there was love at the beginning, no doubt about it. Two people escaping their lives to form a new unit. Now you are combining their trauma. Because that never leaves. It is part of your soul blueprint. You take that baggage into your new relationship. That is the moment when you create a disaster if one or both partners did not experience unconditional love at home. One day in your relationship, a death happens, and those are the moments when you are faced with the reality of life. A person dies, and that exact moment brings up all the memories and emotions we might have parked in the back of our minds while living our lives before our relationship. The feelings and behaviours we learned when we were younger around death. Coping mechanisms around grief and sadness, healthy or unhealthy, you name it. We apply those to the current loss. We might openly express them by crying or talking about the loss, or we might try to avoid those heavy emotions, pretending to have control over the situation. Different emotions surface as we try to deal with the situation. Family dynamics that seemed healthy are now destroyed, almost in an instant. We break apart, mourning not only a loved one but also ourselves for enduring the inevitable. This is where relationships not only suffer or become strained but also become a ticking time bomb if no healing occurs. We might grow into angry, resentful, depressed individuals who wake each morning hating our lives and ourselves for losing control. What most of us do not realize is that those learned patterns are not truly ours. Feeling undeserving, unworthy, or perhaps as though we do not belong feels almost normal in our society. Many of us were born and raised in a society that shaped us without our even noticing. Finding out your soul blueprint does not happen overnight. Sometimes, people feel relieved for a short period when trying out certain coping styles or changing their lifestyle, but that relief is only short-lived. Numbing ourselves with substances or seeking the ultimate rush by trying new things, such as hobbies, buying excessive amounts of new clothing, or moving to different locations, may provide temporary relief. We might even hoard things to feel connected, only to find that none of it fixes the deep emotional pain. Peace can arise when we learn to connect with our higher self. It feels like the holy grail, our true purpose here on Earth. Breaking free from the generational karmic cycle can be frightening. Sometimes, once we begin, we may feel compelled to leave everything behind. I experienced this. It was unavoidable. There was nothing more to fix, maintain, or invest in within that marriage. I left my marriage, my home, my family, and some friends. It was scary at first. I don’t view this as failure now. Instead, I see it as mourning a relationship that had been broken for nearly 35 years, even before it truly began. I emerged with a sense of relief and pride. I finally felt genuinely connected, connected with my higher self. When we grieve and mourn relationships, we forget that they were never truly ours to hold onto and that they are never meant to be fixed by us alone. Instead, we need to heal ourselves, listen to our soul, and align with our true values and beliefs. Once that realization settles in, loving ourselves becomes natural. Love fills our hearts, and authentic peace eventually anchors within us. This is our birthright: being happy, loving ourselves, and living in peace. Not forced, not bought, not dependent on someone else. It has always been ours from the beginning. We just need to listen to what we truly want. When you genuinely reconnect with yourself, you'll see that you can mourn any kind of loss because it's part of life's journey on Earth. You will be sad and mourn, but it will not destroy you. Meeting people, places, and situations, sometimes for a lifetime, sometimes as mirrors or signs, and other times only briefly, guides your growth. When you understand your higher self, your purpose on Earth naturally emerges without effort. Because of this understanding, you will always have the confidence and peace to know that everything will be okay, even in the face of death or trauma. Our lives are not meant to punish us. Deep down, we know happiness and peace exist. Sometimes, we just need to begin our journey to rediscover them. I sincerely hope you have found your happiness and peace, and if not, that you start your journey towards awakening. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Katja Christine Strube Katja Christine Strube, Grief Counselor & Author Katja has dedicated her life to helping others overcome feelings of disconnect and not belonging. After experiencing personal trauma and loss, she found renewed purpose through volunteering with a local Hospice, offering support to clients facing difficult life challenges. Her extensive academic achievements and personal experiences allow her to understand her clients' struggles from multiple perspectives. Her compassion and empathy make her guidance impactful. Through unwavering commitment, she transforms counseling into a healing and empowering experience. Reference: [1] Bowe, C., Thomas, C., & Mackey, P. (2025). Perspective to Practice: Theoretical frameworks explaining intergenerational trauma, violence, and maltreatment and implications for the therapeutic response. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 22(3), 321.

Written by Katja Christine Strube, Grief Counselor, Author Katja's compassionate and innovative approach to grief, loss, and trauma offers clients hope and renewed purpose. She authored "Dealing with Grief," a practical guide explaining why death remains taboo and how to break free from grief's grip. As children, we possess an innate innocence and carry unconditional love deeply within our hearts. From the very beginning, we accept everyone who enters our lives because of our pure trust. Happiness and joy serve as our guiding forces, often acting as the primary catalysts that motivate us to learn and explore new things, whether it's walking, talking, playing, or trying out unfamiliar activities. When children are raised in a loving, caring, and nurturing environment, it lays a strong foundation for their overall well-being and development. Such an environment ensures that they feel safe, valued, and supported every step of the way. As a result, they grow into mature adults who are confident and capable, able to master almost every aspect of life with resilience and persistence. This sense of connection and self-worth, cultivated from a young age, empowers them to face challenges with courage and competence, ultimately leading to a fulfilling and successful life. When a child does not develop a secure attachment and instead harbours deep emotional wounds stemming from trauma, this disconnection can persist throughout their entire life. Such unresolved issues can profoundly influence their ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, shaping their perceptions of themselves and others. Over time, this internal pain may dictate how they adapt to new situations and influence the ways in which they attract and interact with their environment, often leading to a cycle of difficulty and emotional suffering that is exceedingly hard to break. When a truly significant person in our lives passes away, it often exposes the depths of our emotional resilience and the ways we cope with profound loss. If someone has been fortunate enough to grow up in a safe and secure environment, they typically develop the capacity to handle the emotional pain that comes with such a loss. While it certainly hurts and they may feel heartbroken, over time, they are able to find ways to process their grief. They seek out resources, support systems, and comfort that resonate with their needs, allowing them to gradually come to terms with their loss. Ultimately, these experiences shape their ability to heal and continue their journey forward, even in the face of profound sadness. When someone feels disconnected and finds it difficult to navigate the everyday challenges of life, it can become even more overwhelming to cope with a profound loss. Sometimes, individuals who were once raised in a stable, secure environment but later formed a connection with a less stable partner, someone they deeply cared for, may suddenly feel lost and uncertain, especially after that person's passing. These feelings of grief and confusion are completely natural. They reflect the complex ways in which loss affects our emotional well-being, particularly when our foundation of stability has been shaken. It’s important to understand that these reactions are not a sign of failure, rather, they are a normal and human response to the experiences you have endured throughout your life. Some people might experience severe depression, feeling as if they are about to give up. Others might avoid their emotions altogether, pushing them away to try to cope. Some become overwhelmed with emotion, feeling so much pain that they may even entertain thoughts of suicide because the suffering feels unbearable. But please remember, you are not wrong to feel this way, and you are not failing. Often, the root of these feelings lies in the fact that you never had the opportunity to fully connect with yourself, and now that grief manifests as a reflection of that disconnection. In a deeper sense, we may also mourn not only the loss of the loved one but also parts of ourselves, the person we have never met in the first place, and that is even more heartbreaking. It's a universal and deeply personal process, and healing begins with acknowledging these feelings with kindness and compassion. This is where alchemy steps in. Looking at the definition of alchemy, Carl Jung devoted his life to the secret of inner transformation. He followed the path of turning inner lead into gold and, looking into the human psyche, the transition of a soul. It contained the hidden wisdom of death, rebirth, and spiritual awakening (This Jungian Life, 2026). Embarking on the journey to alchemize your higher self begins with a gentle shift in how you perceive your current views on life. It’s important to take time to acknowledge your emotions as they arise, simply witnessing them without judgment. This act alone is a profound milestone, especially if you have never practised such mindful attention. Instead of suppressing or ignoring these feelings, start embracing them with compassion. Inviting your emotions in, rather than pushing them away, helps dissolve the sense of disconnection from yourself. When you allow these emotions to sit with you peacefully, you reclaim your inner power, marking the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Some individuals find it natural to sit with their emotions through mindfulness, meditation, or journaling, which can facilitate processing. However, for others, these feelings may trigger unresolved trauma, making the process more challenging. In such cases, professional support is available and highly recommended. Resources such as trauma retreats, counselling, and specialized interventions like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are designed to help heal the emotional wounds caused by difficult life experiences (Dansiger et al., 2020). There are also options such as exposure therapy, forest therapy, and many more avenues of healing. Remember, you are not alone in this, and it’s perfectly okay if you cannot alchemize your pain overnight. Healing is a deeply personal journey, and each of us carries different stories in our hearts. Be gentle with yourself, honour your pace, and know that you are inherently deserving of love, peace, and healing. Grief and loss often leave us with a profound sense of despair, but maintaining a connection with ourselves can help us manage these difficult emotions. It’s important to recognize that death and the end of life are natural parts of our existence. While we may struggle to accept death, especially when it comes suddenly, traumatically, or due to painful circumstances, finding peace within ourselves is a fundamental right. Mourning should not cause us unnecessary suffering, it is a vital process of healing and love. When we lose someone whom we deeply cherish, grieving in a healthy way is an act of love and respect. Conversely, if we carry unresolved wounds, or if the loss happened through trauma or a difficult relationship, we may be robbed of the opportunity to grieve properly, which can hinder our healing. Allowing ourselves the time and space to grieve is crucial for healing and honouring the love we shared. While we may differ in many ways, we all share the fundamental right to mourn in a way that best supports our needs at any time. If we find ourselves unable to navigate our grief alone, we deserve compassion and support, being held and carried through those difficult times toward healing. I sincerely hope you can find the courage to embark on your grief journey, embracing your emotions and having everything you need in each moment. May you find peace and healing along the way, knowing you are not alone in your suffering and that your feelings are valid and your birthright. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Katja Christine Strube Katja Christine Strube, Grief Counselor, Author Katja has dedicated her life to helping others overcome feelings of disconnect and not belonging. After experiencing personal trauma and loss, she found renewed purpose through volunteering with a local Hospice, offering support to clients facing difficult life challenges. Her extensive academic achievements and personal experiences allow her to understand her clients' struggles from multiple perspectives. Her compassion and empathy make her guidance impactful. Through unwavering commitment, she transforms counseling into a healing and empowering experience.

Written by Priyanka Ayodele, Leadership and Business Specialist Priyanka Ayodele is a leadership and organisational development specialist and the founder of The Leadership Method. As a Chartered Manager and Associate of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) member, she supports organisations through leadership development, coaching, and culture-focused work with managers and teams. Most organisations have someone who is exceptionally good at what they do. Just reading that sentence will probably have brought one person to mind. That person is knowledgeable, reliable, and consistently delivers results. They are the person everyone turns to when something needs to be done properly because we trust them. However, because of that trust and reliability, they become difficult to challenge. The conversation tends to go like this: “Yes, they can be difficult. That’s just how they are, though, and they’re good at their job.” Have you heard this conversation before? On the surface, those comments don’t seem like a huge problem. The reality, however, is that they can start to influence an organisation’s culture far more than people realise. I have always believed that culture isn’t defined by the values that have been put on a poster or an email signature. It is defined by the behaviours people display and experience every day. More importantly, it is influenced and shaped by the behaviours organisations choose to reward, tolerate, or ignore. So yes, those values in big writing on the staffroom wall matter because they set the expectation, but they’re only words until we collectively reinforce them through our actions. It’s easy to look at someone’s results and behaviour as two separate conversations. I don’t think they are. The way someone behaves influences the people around them, and over time, that has just as much impact on performance as the numbers they deliver. If one person regularly dismisses colleagues, speaks to people disrespectfully, or creates an environment where others don’t feel comfortable contributing, those behaviours don’t stay with them. They actually start to spread. I have seen people stop sharing ideas because they know they will be shut down. I have seen managers avoid difficult conversations because they don’t think anything will change anyway. Before you know it, it isn’t just one person’s behaviour anymore. It has become part of how the team works. It is now the culture of your department. The difficult thing is that organisations rarely connect the dots straightaway. Instead, they notice the consequences. What are those consequences? They include more employee relations cases, higher sickness absence, good people leaving, and declining engagement. Now we’re asking, “What happened?” The truth is that sometimes nothing has happened recently. It has been happening for years. Those behaviours were accepted for so long that they became deeply embedded in the culture and harder to challenge. That’s not me saying we should expect perfection. That’s not realistic. However, being brilliant at your job shouldn’t become a reason to accept behaviour that slowly affects how everyone else works. I also don’t think organisations have to choose between protecting performance and protecting culture. I think I would argue the opposite. The organisations that perform well over time are the ones where people feel respected, trusted, and comfortable speaking up. What happens when we stop doing those things? Performance drops. The strongest cultures aren’t built because everyone is exceptional. They’re built because everyone knows the standard expected of them, leadership is consistent, and the standard applies to everyone. Every behaviour a leader ignores sends a message. Whether they intend it or not is another question. Follow me on Instagram and visit my website for more info! Read more from Priyanka Ayodele Priyanka Ayodele, Leadership and Business Specialist Priyanka Ayodele (CMgr MCMI, Assoc. CIPD) is a Chartered Manager and Associate CIPD member and the founder of The Leadership Method. Her work focuses on leadership, team culture, and organisational development. Earlier in her career, she studied psychology and worked in mental health, which shaped her interest in how people experience leadership at work. Having experienced both poor management and the kind of leadership that helps people grow, she saw firsthand how much impact managers can have on someone's confidence and development. The managers who recognised her potential played a big part in shaping the leader she is today. That experience now influences the work she does at The Leadership Method

Geniece Webb is redefining how leaders understand culture by focusing on the systems that shape behavior, not the personalities that fill them. As a leadership clarity expert and founder of RISE by Oasis, she helps organizations name the conditions that quietly shape workplace culture and the emotional residue leaders often overlook. Her work centers on closing the gap between intention and impact, giving leaders the tools to see what their teams have been carrying quietly. In this interview, Geniece offers a grounded, human perspective on leadership, culture, and the structural patterns that determine whether people experience clarity or confusion at work. Geniece Webb, Founder of RISE by Oasis What led you to create RISE by Oasis, and what did you feel was missing from traditional leadership development? I created RISE by Oasis from my own experience of workplace harm. I know what it feels like to shrink under unclear and unhealthy leadership, to lose confidence in environments that make you question your value. Traditional leadership development often focuses on performance and strategy, but it rarely addresses the emotional weight leaders carry or the impact their misalignment has on the people they lead. That gap is what pushed me to build something different. I wanted to help leaders understand what is truly happening inside their cultures and to give individuals clarity so they no longer have to interpret harm on their own. The name comes from my journey. Oasis represents the kind of space I needed but never had, a place where people can breathe, be honest, and feel restored. Rise reflects the part of leadership that calls us to grow, stand in integrity, and become someone others can trust. Together, RISE by Oasis helps leaders return to themselves so their teams don't have to carry the consequences of unclear leadership. What makes a leadership system restorative rather than simply supportive or people-centered? A restorative leadership system differs from supportive or people-centered approaches because it doesn't rely solely on encouragement or interpersonal care. Supportive leadership often focuses on how people feel. Restorative leadership focuses on the structures that shape those feelings in the first place. Culture is not created by personality or values. It is the predictable outcome of the systems people move through every day. If a system rewards urgency, burnout becomes normal. If it rewards silence, harm becomes normal. If it rewards clarity, alignment becomes possible. People do not create culture on their own. They respond to the conditions leadership sets. A restorative system repairs harm where it was created and redesigns the environment so healthier outcomes can emerge. It shifts culture by changing what the system rewards and protects. It normalizes healthy cultures through intentional structures that make clarity, accountability, and care the standard rather than the exception. How do Leading Self, Leading Others, and Leading Organizations work together when a culture is struggling? Leading Self, Leading Others, and Leading Organizations work together as a unified system, especially when a culture is struggling. Each pathway reflects a different dimension of leadership: inner work, relational work, and systems work. Leading Self is the daily practice of returning to who you are with clarity, care, and integrity. When a culture feels unstable, this steadiness becomes the anchor that shapes how leaders communicate, make decisions, and show up for others. Leading Others is the relational work of creating environments where people feel safe, valued, and able to contribute their best. It depends on the stability created through Leading Self and directly influences how people experience the systems around them. When leaders strengthen their presence, they strengthen their relationships. Leading Organizations is the systems work. It shapes the culture, structures, and direction that determine whether people move with confidence or confusion. When a culture is struggling, leaders must examine what the system rewards, protects, and normalizes, because those conditions affect both relationships and individual well-being. Together, these dimensions form a stabilizing force. Leading Self strengthens presence, Leading Others strengthens connection, and Leading Organizations strengthens direction. Integrated leadership restores clarity, rebuilds trust, and helps a culture rise again. What are the earliest signs that workplace harm is being created by the system rather than one difficult leader? When workplace harm is visible, the earliest signs that the system is the source rather than one difficult leader show up in what stays constant when people change. That is where to look first. The most immediate signal is role and pattern repetition. A new leader steps in and within weeks begins behaving the same way as their predecessor. Separately, a team with a strong performance history gets reorganized into a particular division and begins showing the same dysfunction that has defined that division across multiple cycles. The people changed; the conditions did not. When harm reproduces itself across different individuals and groups, the structure is generating it. Psychological safety signals offer a second layer of evidence. When employees stay silent not just around one leader but in broader team settings and one-on-one conversations with other managers, where the leader suspected of causing harm is not involved, the issue is not a single reporting relationship. It is an environment that has made speaking up feel consistently unsafe. When the same problems resurface under different people, and after repeated interventions, the system is the source. The difficult leader is a variable the organization keeps producing. As technology and AI reshape how organizations operate, what must leaders do differently to keep clarity, trust, and human wellbeing at the center of their decisions? As technology and AI reshape how organizations operate, leaders have to think differently at every level: individually, with their teams, and across the organization. Individuals need clarity. Teams need consistency. Organizations need standards that protect people as the pace of work accelerates. For individuals, the most important shift is how leaders communicate expectations. When AI speeds up workflows, unclear direction becomes a source of stress. People should not have to guess what “done” looks like. They need simple, consistent guidance they can trust. For teams, leaders need to check in more often, not to monitor tasks but to understand how the pace of change is affecting people. AI can tell you what happened. Only humans can tell you how it felt. That emotional insight is part of responsible governance. At the organizational level, leaders must design cultures that build well-being into the workflow. When technology gets faster, burnout becomes easier. Leaders have to create systems that reinforce clarity, fairness, and psychological safety so people can navigate change without losing themselves. AI may transform the work. Leadership determines whether people experience that transformation with confidence or confusion. How can leaders tell whether values like integrity and belonging are actually being practiced rather than simply stated? Leaders can tell the difference by looking at what happens in ordinary moments, not milestone ones. Practiced values show up in the texture of daily work. Integrity shows up when a leader openly acknowledges a mistake before anyone asks, and the team responds with problem-solving rather than silence. It shows up when a commitment made in a one-on-one meeting is followed through without the employee having to circle back. It shows up when a decision that benefits the organization is paused because it unfairly disadvantages someone, and that reasoning is communicated directly. Belonging shows up when a team member’s first 90 days include genuine integration, not just task onboarding. It shows up when disagreement is treated as contribution rather than disruption. It shows up when the same voices are not consistently the ones that go unheard in meetings, and when that pattern is noticed and named rather than quietly accepted. Ask the people closest to the work. If employees across levels and roles can point to specific, recent moments when a decision honored their humanity rather than required them to compromise it, the culture is living those values. If the examples are vague or distant, the work is not finished. What should a leader examine when performance looks strong, but trust and psychological safety are declining? The first thing a leader should examine is how the team handles mistakes. In a culture where trust and psychological safety are declining, mistakes do not disappear. They get hidden, minimized, or redirected toward someone else. When a project falls short, and the immediate response is finger-pointing rather than honest accounting, it is rarely about poor character. It is about a team that has learned that owning a mistake carries a cost they cannot afford. The second is whether people feel safe naming their limits. An employee might comfortably flag a project risk but stay silent about being overextended or approaching burnout. That silence is a deeper trust signal because it is personal. When people absorb unsustainable workloads without naming them, they are telling the leader that the environment responds to their output but not to their humanity. The third is internal. When stakes are high, does a leader’s reaction teach the team that honesty has consequences? The culture takes its cues from that answer more than any other. Leaders must ensure the answer points toward trust, not fear, so honesty can be met without penalty. All three examinations point to the same root: what the team has learned it is safe to do reflects what leadership has consistently shown it is safe to be. How has experiencing harmful leadership changed your own definition of what good leadership requires? Experiencing harmful leadership changed my definition of good leadership in ways I could not have learned from training or titles. Before that experience, I led from instinct and compassion. I believed that if I worked hard, communicated well, and protected people, the environment would respond in kind. But harmful leadership revealed something different. It showed me how even strong leaders can absorb dysfunction, carry emotional weight that isn't theirs, and guide people through a fog they didn't create. The most important shift came after I stepped out of the environment. What felt like personal failure was actually systemic failure. That clarity reshaped my understanding of leadership. Today, good leadership is sustained by clarity, culture, and trust. Clarity requires naming what is happening and setting expectations that remove confusion. Culture requires designing conditions where harm cannot hide and where people feel safe to contribute. Trust requires honesty, consistency, and the courage to address what the system is producing. Harm taught me the difference between confusion and clarity, and it taught me that real leadership begins with naming what others have learned to endure quietly. What is one leadership practice you believe can create meaningful change in a workplace starting today? Practicing clarity. Not clarity as a communication style, but clarity as a leadership standard. Most workplace dysfunction does not begin with bad intentions. It begins with gaps that people quietly fill on their own. Unspoken expectations become assumed ones. Silence gets interpreted. Patterns form around what leadership never directly addressed, and over time those patterns become the culture, whether the leader chose them or not. Meaningful clarity requires a leader to examine two things honestly: what expectations exist in their mind that have never been spoken aloud, and what behaviors the environment has unintentionally rewarded by never addressing them directly. A leader who has always assumed the team understood what accountability looks like in practice, but never named it explicitly, has not set a standard. They created a vacuum, and the team has filled it ever since. Clarity does not mean more information. It means creating the conditions for people to succeed because they understand what is expected, what is valued, and where the boundaries are. That is not a long-term initiative requiring a new framework or an offsite. It is a decision a leader can make in their next conversation. Follow me on LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Geniece Webb