Your Scars Are Not Your Shame, They’re Your Story
- Brainz Magazine
- Apr 10, 2025
- 4 min read
Naseha, a healing coach with a Master's in NLP, TimeLine Therapy certification, silva practitioner and a background as an ex-airforce officer, adeptly guides clients to inner peace.
We all go through things in life that leave marks on us. Some are visible. Others are deep inside, where no one can see. Maybe it’s a broken relationship, hurtful words, a painful memory, or years of pretending you’re okay, choices that failed, or people who walked away. Few are still bleeding; few have marks that come back as a memory.
Wounds, scars, and what they really mean
Pain is a part of life. But how we hold that pain is where transformation begins.
There’s a difference between wounds and scars:
Wounds still hurt. They make you cry. They drain your energy. They need your care.
Scars don’t bleed anymore. They remind you, but they don’t control you, they don’t hurt the same. They are a quiet proof that you made it through something hard.
Recognizing the difference helps you know what still needs your attention. Healing isn’t about pretending you’re fine. It’s about being honest with yourself about what still hurts and giving it care instead of silence.
The scars aren’t meant to be escaped
Many times, people around us say things like “move on,” “forget it,” or “be strong.” But the truth is, healing doesn’t happen by ignoring the pain. Healing begins when you accept what happened and decide to grow from it. Let your wounds take time to become scars; don’t suppress them, work with them. Once these become scars, both visible and invisible, these are not blemishes but maps for the journey ahead. They are survival stories.
As a healing coach, I often meet people not at their beginning but at their breaking point. And one thing remains consistent: when we stop running from our wounds, we begin to reclaim our power.
Most people think moving forward means forgetting. They clench their teeth, silence their emotions, and put on a brave face. But deep inside, the residue of old wounds still lingers.
Learning to walk with the shadow
Our society may reward polished exteriors, but healing begins when we start to peel back the layers and sit gently with our truth.
For years, I also believed that healing meant leaving the shadow behind. But then, one day, I stopped. I unclenched my teeth. I ran my fingers along my scars. I let them speak, and they whispered truth.
They reminded me that I survived. That I learned. That I grew stronger not by forgetting what happened, but by carrying it with softness. I turned to face my shadow. I no longer feared it. I held its hand. We walked forward together.
So, I suggest to you, too, that you don’t have to erase the past to move forward. You just need to stop letting it define how you see yourself today.
Healing means saying:
“That happened. It hurt. And I’m still learning from it.”
“I’m allowed to grow from it instead of shrinking under it.”
“I’m not who I was back then. I’ve changed. And I’m proud of that.”
When you choose to finally face that shadow, you will start to soften. Sometimes, it’s revisiting an old memory and choosing to show up differently. Sometimes, it’s finally realizing the shadow you’ve been running from is a part of you aching to be loved.
Here’s what I’ve seen over and over again in my work:
The people who feel the most broken are usually the most resilient.
The scars they carry aren’t signs of failure; they’re proof they survived.
The moment they stop fighting their pain and start understanding it, life begins to shift.
Your scars are a map, not a mistake
Your scars are not signs of defeat. They are proof that you have lived, learned, and grown. You don’t need to hide them or rush to erase them. You only need to understand them, and above all, you are allowed to become everything you were always meant to be. If it speaks to something deep inside you, that’s awareness; don’t ignore it.
Your healing is not only possible; it’s waiting for you. Start by taking one small step toward yourself today. And if you’re ready to walk this path with support, know that you don’t have to do it alone.
Your story is still being written; make it a gentle one.
Read more from Naseha Shaban
Naseha Shaban, Healing Coach & Timeline Therapist
Naseha, a former air traffic controller in the Pakistan Air Force, transitioned into motherhood before rekindling her passion for learning. She achieved mastery in NLP and became a Timeline Therapist and a Silva Practitioner. Engaging in social work for special kids with the Pakistan Association Dubai, she now empowers clients as a healing coach, guiding them towards inner peace.
