Why Your Gratitude List Might Be Falling Short
- Nov 20, 2024
- 4 min read
Written by Lisa Mechler, Yoga Teacher, Reiki Master
Lisa Mechler is a yoga instructor, Reiki master and speech-language pathologist who offers a unique perspective on wellness by incorporating science, Spirit, and personal experience into her teachings. She is the founder of Lisa Mechler Wellness and offers a blend of yoga, Reiki, somatics, breathwork and meditation to serve the whole person.
Have you ever found yourself feeling repeatedly stuck or unfulfilled? Or maybe life just feels a little lackluster and you’re ready to feel that spark of joy more regularly? Perhaps you’ve heard of or even started a science-backed gratitude practice, but even that feels a bit mundane. Read on to bring your gratitude game to a whole new level.
What is a gratitude practice?
You may have heard the advice: “Want to live a happier life? Write a list of things you’re grateful for every night before falling asleep. Keep a journal by your bed and simply jot a few things down and ‘ta-da! Your life will change!’”
This advice is not random and is actually grounded in science. According to the Journal of Happiness Studies, a gratitude journaling practice was shown to decrease the writers’ stress levels more during the COVID-19 pandemic than either expressive writing or no journaling at all.
A gratitude practice is a way to shift your mindset from the negative to the positive more regularly and, over time, with less effort. Those people who easily see the silver lining in challenging situations are prime examples of this. Sure, it might seem annoying sometimes when people are incessantly positive, but chances are those “glass half full” kind of people are living happier lives.
To start a gratitude practice, all you need is a few minutes per day. Take the time to write down some things you’re grateful for or write a note of appreciation to someone. They can be large things or seemingly small things – it doesn’t actually matter. The key is to express your gratitude.
The common trap
As our lives become increasingly more busy, time seems to be a rare and special commodity. Our level of mindful and intentional presence naturally decreases and we switch into auto-pilot and overdrive modes. Have you ever driven to work or dropped your kids off at school in the morning and then stopped to wonder how you got there? It’s easy to go through the motions of life while your mind is thinking of the million other things you need to do that day.
Like so many other things in our busy lives, our gratitude practice runs the risk of being just another thing to do or another box to check. Sure, you might be able to quickly write 5 things you’re grateful for in less than a minute, but will this yield the benefits you’re hoping for? Probably not.
How to avoid the trap
The key to any gratitude practice is to take the time to really feel the emotion of gratitude. This practice isn’t about just writing the list, but it’s about feeling the appreciation. It’s not only about thanking your friend for the gift they sent, but about feeling the warmth in your heart when you think of their kindness.
During your gratitude practice, carve out a few moments to close your eyes and take some slow, deep breaths. As you write, insert little pauses to let yourself feel the gratitude. For example, if you’re grateful for a family member, take a moment to think of a time you shared a good laugh with them or they did something thoughtful for you. How did you feel in those moments? Take a few deep breaths as you remember that feeling.
You might notice your shoulders relax, your jaw loosen, and maybe even a softening in your heart. These extra few moments within your gratitude practice will make all the difference.
Expand your practice
As you continue your gratitude practice, you might begin to notice when your reactions to people or events are less than positive. Noticing our response patterns is not an easy task, so well done! Once that awareness occurs, ask yourself the simple question: “What is good here?” You may find you can quickly and easily see the positive aspects in a less-than-ideal situation.
But what about bypassing?
“Bypassing” is the act of ignoring the negative aspects of life and only focusing on the positive. Yet it’s important to acknowledge that life is often filled with challenges: stress, loss, trauma, worry, grief, and pain, to name just a few. These situations and the unpleasant emotions that accompany them are real and are not to be discounted.
A gratitude practice is not intended to dismiss or disregard tough experiences, yet rather to shift the primary and default focus of the mind to those aspects of life that you are grateful for. If life’s stressors are weeds and the positive aspects are flowers, your gratitude practice offers a direct view of the flower, even amongst a field of weeds. Just think of how much more beautiful life can be!
If you are ready to welcome in more happiness and ease into your life, download this gratitude journal page! If you want more support on starting or maintaining your practice, contact Lisa.
Read more from Lisa Mechler
Lisa Mechler, Yoga Teacher, Reiki Master
Lisa Mechler, RYT500, RPYT, CCC-SLP is a Reiki master, yoga teacher with additional specialization in Prenatal yoga, licensed Speech-Language Pathologist, mom and animal lover. She was drawn to yoga in 2006 as a form of exercise but after continued practice, she noticed her inner dialogue shifting: she was kinder to herself and life began to feel more peaceful. She has completed extensive training in yoga, energy work, and somatics, and has a passion for sharing their physical, mental and Spiritual benefits with others.
