Why So Many People Struggle with Meditation and 10 Tips to Begin Your Inner Journey
- Brainz Magazine
- 7 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
Eljin is a transformative personal development coach from the Midlands, England, and the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme. For over 16 years, Eljin has guided people to release what’s holding them back, rediscover their purpose, and create life-changing transformation.
Meditation is often misunderstood. Many of my clients come to me saying, “I just can’t get it,” or “I can’t seem to stop thinking.” Over time, meditation has gained an almost mythical reputation, something reserved for monks, gurus, or people with extraordinarily quiet minds. In reality, meditation is one of the most natural human experiences.
Meditation is not difficult. Difficult is letting go of the mind’s habit of overcomplicating it. Mindfulness is simply the ability to focus on one thing without judgment. Meditation is the practice that trains us to access that state more easily. Across spiritual traditions from ancient India to Japan, from Buddhism to Taoism, meditation includes visualisation, breathwork, guided journeys, mantra practice, and more.
Yet most people don’t realise they already enter meditative states throughout their day. Crafting, painting, drawing.Knitting or ironing.Walking the dog.Gardening.Listening to music.Riding a motorbike through quiet hills.
People often describe feeling peaceful afterwards. Why? Because they were present, fully absorbed in the moment. Their awareness rested on the now. Thinking softened. Worries paused. They were simply being.
This is meditation in its purest form. When we’re here, in the present, we experience clarity, joy, love, and spaciousness. When we’re lost in thought, we disconnect from what’s happening in front of us. We stop experiencing life directly and instead experience our thoughts about it.
Active vs. Passive meditation: The real reason people struggle
Meditation, at its simplest, falls into two categories:
1. Active meditation
Guided sessions, structured breathwork, and visualisations. These are easier because the mind has something to follow.
2. Passive meditation
Sitting in stillness with your breath. This is where people believe they “fail.” Nine out of ten people tell me, “I tried passive meditation, but I couldn’t stop thinking.” This belief is the problem. It’s the misconception that thinking is a mistake.
You cannot stop thinking. The subconscious mind never switches off. Humans experience 20,000-80,000 thoughts per day. This is normal. Meditation is not the absence of thought. It is the gentle return of your attention when thought pulls you away.
This ability to return calmly and without judgment is your self-command muscle.
You drift, and then you come back.
You wander, and then you notice.
You get lost, and then you return.
That return is meditation. The real struggle is that most people live entirely in their thoughts, reacting automatically to every mental impulse.
This leads to secondary thinking:
“Why did I think that?”
“I shouldn’t be thinking this.”
“I’m failing at this.”
“Something is wrong with me.”
One thought spirals into identity. This is where suffering begins, not in the thought, but in our attachment to it. A thought is not who you are. Just as you have a toe, you have thoughts, but you are neither.
When you observe a thought, you prove you are separate from it. You become the watcher, the one who sees, rather than the one who is swept away. Some days your meditation will feel noisy. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’ve been given insight into how busy your inner world is and how deeply you need space.
Many also set themselves up to fail by attempting 20 minutes immediately. You would never run a marathon before jogging for three minutes. Meditation is the same. And yes, ironically, the more you try to relax, the more tension you notice. The more you try to quiet the mind, the louder it appears. This is not a barrier. This is progress. It is an awareness awakening.
Over time, meditation leads to a calmer nervous system, emotional regulation, deeper sleep, reduced anxiety, strengthened self-awareness, and a more compassionate relationship with the self.
10 tips to begin your inner journey
Choose a consistent time: Attach meditation to an existing behaviour after your shower, before breakfast, or when you shut your laptop. Consistency builds identity.
Know your “why”: Meditation helps you decompress, regulate, ground, and reconnect. Let your why guide your discipline.
Remove interruptions: Tell your family or housemates you need a few uninterrupted minutes.
Start with guided practices: Short body scans or guided sessions give the mind something to follow.
Use a timer for passive meditation: Start with 1–3 minutes. Increase gradually. Remove worry about time.
Use relaxation memories: Visualise a moment when you felt truly calm and let your body revisit it.
Ground in the body: Place your hands on your chest or stomach. Feel the breath move.
Try structured breathing: Box or triangle breathing works well:
Inhale 4 (nose)
Hold 4
Exhale 4 (nose or mouth)
Add a gentle hum on the exhale to activate the vagus nerve.
(It's key to inhale through the nose, as it activates our rest and digest parasympathetic nervous system, and humming soothes us, just like whistling and singing. Also, fill the belly 1st, do not shallow/chest breath. Belly then chest!)
Explore circular breathing: Visualise breath rising up the spine and down the body in a loop. Inhale 4 through the nose, exhale 8 through the mouth if comfortable.
Give yourself permission to just be: Take five minutes to pause. Observe without judgment. Return to the breath with compassion each time you drift.
You cannot be fully focused on your breath and on a thought at the same time. Every time you come back, you succeed.
Meditation is not about perfection. It’s about presence, and presence is where peace, joy, clarity, and self-connection live.
How to work with me
I’m Eljin, founder of Connection Coaching and creator of The Alignment Method, a transformational 1:1 coaching experience helping people overcome procrastination, reconnect with purpose, and master their inner world on the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious levels.
If you’re ready to deepen your inner work, strengthen your self-leadership, and experience genuine clarity and calm. You can connect with me here. I’d love to support you on your journey back to alignment.
Read more from Eljin Keeling-Johnson
Eljin Keeling-Johnson, Personal Development Coach
In 2005, Eljin walked into therapy battling anxiety, depression, and drug addiction. What began as a search for healing became a profound journey of self-discovery. Emerging with a renewed sense of purpose, he dedicated his life to helping others find their true selves and step into their full potential. Over the past 16 years, Eljin has delivered more than 16,000 hours of transformative coaching, blending conscious, subconscious, and unconscious work to create deep, lasting change. As the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme, his mission is simple yet powerful, to help people connect, grow, and thrive.
