Why Mum Guilt Is Like A School Bully And 5 Tips To Beat It
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 4, 2021
- 3 min read
Written by: Jodie Konstantin , Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Mum guilt you know what I'm talking about right? it feels like that massive school bully who hovers over you for your lunch money steals your joy you try to avoid it but sure enough, it hunts you down and turns an otherwise good day into a nightmare.
There is an overwhelming feeling of "getting it right" in the parenting game the constant chatter inside your head "am I a good mum" "am I doing enough" "am I doing too much." seems neverending.
Mum guilt can start creeping in during pregnancy but the day you see your little bundle of joy that's when the fun really begins smack you get hit with mum guilt and everything changes you are now responsible for another humans life and you think back to how you couldn't even keep your goldfish or house plant alive but guess what there are no refunds you are in it for the long haul now, so buckle up to ride the rollercoaster of mum guilt.
These days there are unrealistic expectations set for parents and let's face it there is certainly no handbook if there was I can tell you id be first in line for a copy.
It's easy to get swept into the trap of social media, watching "perfect" parents with their well-groomed children sitting at the dinner table eating nutritious meals, talking about their day and everyone getting along while you sit looking at your own life staring at a pile of laundry you feel you folded, yet still looks like Mount Everest and as it continues to grow you wonder if the clothes have started reproducing, no one is talking because world war three just broke out and you are contemplating if toast is an appropriate dinner. As you sit there comparing you wonder if you are the only one "failing" as a mum.
Times are changing, mums are expected(well at least in the minds of us mums) to be involved, have a clean house, A Grade children, protect but don't be a helicopter mum, feed our kids perfectly balanced meals every day.
Expectations and contradictions are endless. Do you breastfeed or bottlefeed? Stay home or go back to work? and on both sides of every decision, you question the opposing side.
These are my tips for beating the school bully (mum guilt)
Know you are not alone - I don't know about you but sometimes just knowing that you are not alone makes me feel "normal" and we are all trying to do the best we can with the knowledge and resources we have.
Fill up your cup - I know this may seem odd because it can also be a reason for mum guilt but learning to fill up your cup teaches your children a positive habit and taking time for yourself means when you come back you are a better parent too.
Encourage your tribe- we mums need to find the good in others and taking the time to compliment others instead of just comparing ourselves helps lift each other up. Being a mum can often feel like a thankless job, no pay rise, no promotion from the boss so cheer on your fellow mum team.
Stop guilting other mums- support other mums in the choices they make for themselves and their children I'm sure we have all heard it from well-meaning friends who question and don't understand the effects our words have after the event simple things like " oh you use a dummy my kid never had one" even if well-meaning can leave a mum guilting all over herself.
Be Kind to yourself - None of us know how to do this parenting thing perfectly so be kind to yourself.
A beautiful quote,
" The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one" - Jodie Picoult
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Jodie Konstantin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jodie Konstantin, is a heart-centered certified life coach and Holistic counsellor. After her journey from homelessness, illness, and heartbreak she has dedicated her life to helping others transform to live the lives they desire.
Jodie is the CEO and founder of Total Wellness Journey to Empower people to find balance of Mind, Body, and Spirit.
Jodie is an Empathic coach, Entrepreneur, Blogger and Home-school mum on a mission to help people find their own power and passion for a free and happy life.
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