Written by: Emily Evans Russell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I thought I’d managed to clear forty without experiencing the mid-life shift. You might know it as a pivot, or a hairpin bend. Whatever you like to call it, I found myself right in the middle of it twelve months ago.
All of a sudden I was 40-something and in the process of starting over.
My long-term relationship? Over. My parenting skills? Completely irrelevant, now that my kids were entering their teens. My business? In a rut – I was so sick and tired of being stuck in the same spot that I’d let go of my whole team.
How had I gone from having a successful business, romantic and parenting relationships, and freaking awesome life, to feeling like I had no idea who I was or what I wanted? And how was I going to turn it around?
Welcome, friends, to the mid-life shift.
The end of the self-help bookshelf
As a self-confessed seeker, I’ve read every single self-help book at the airport bookstore and practiced multiple modalities for improving my life.
But hitting midlife and feeling like I was stuck in a rut made me realize: Trying to “fix” the things I felt were wrong just wasn’t working.
Going backward to try and figure out the source of my problems was keeping me stuck in the past and stuck in the point of view of “if I just fix X, I’ll feel better”.
It was time to choose a new point of view: there was no final destination I was heading for, and I was not a masterpiece waiting to be finished.
You have to fall before you can fly
When I hit my mid-life shift, I knew I was ready for everything to change. I was no longer feeling satisfied in my career or relationships, and I wanted to find my spark again.
The problem was, I was still holding on to a lot of the things keeping me stuck.
But here’s the scariest thing about undergoing a pivot in your life: you can’t skydive into the opportunities that are waiting for you if you’re still holding on to the side of the plane.
The final 10% of things were the scariest to let go of (the work that felt out of alignment and was burning me out, the relationships that weren’t healthy); until I surrendered, relaxed, and finally let go of my grip.
I had to be willing to free-fall out of the plane before I could land in my new life.
Find your Yoda
That free fall I was just talking about? It didn’t last for long.
Once you show the universe that you’re ready to take a leap of faith and make a change, it will be sure to catch you.
Every heroine goes on a heroine’s journey where she hears the call, leaves the well-worn path, runs into adversity, slays the dragon, but more importantly, she discovers that she is the mistress of her own fate.
But the one piece that most people miss is the most vital to success on this journey: finding a guide. Luke Skywalker wouldn’t have found the force within him if it wasn’t for Yoda. Harry Potter needed Dumbledore to teach him about Horcruxes in order to defeat Voldemort.
These guides act as expanders – they show our subconscious brain what is possible for us, and we begin to pick up on opportunities that would expand our lives in the same way.
For me, as soon as I started surrounding myself with business and thought leaders who were doing what matched my vision, my whole journey changed – I was being invited onto podcasts, I was offered a new career opportunity and brand new clients wanted to work with me. My free fall was over, and I was landing on my feet.
Concluding thoughts: The road ahead
More than twelve months on from my mid-life shift, and I’m feeling more myself than ever - the projects that I struggled to launch for years have taken off with ease, my relationships are blossoming, and most importantly, I’m feeling more aligned with my purpose than ever before.
As I navigate my journey beyond the hairpin bend, I’ve chosen to start showing other women how to do the same. You could say that it’s my turn to become a Yoda.
I invite you to join me in navigating your mid-life shift in Fearless Femmes – the audio coaching program for women who are ready to live life on their terms.
Here's to hands on the wheels, eyes on the road, and hearts full of courage. Together, we can redefine midlife.
Emily Evans Russell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Emily Evans Russell is a single mom, multi 6-figure business owner, and a Master Mindset & Life Coach. Emily empowers women during life’s pivots so that when big changes occur (relationship, job, finances), they can easily move forward with clarity, ease, and fulfillment. She holds her master's degree in teaching and has trained in Rapid Resolution Therapy, Yoga, and has been a facilitator of seminars in consciousness, energy and mindset for 10 years. The tools and perspectives Emily shares in her community are anything but traditional, yet they are wildly effective. Her target: to teach others how to uniquely design their lives using a mix of subconscious mind hacks, perspective shifts and simple energetic upgrades.
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