Why Does It Take a Tragedy to Wake Us Up?
- Sep 17, 2025
- 4 min read
Rachel Strachan is a Reiki Master, Mindset Coach, and Sound Healer who brings over 20 years of experience with insights from her own healing journey. She creates supportive spaces for both people and animals, offering practical yet powerful tools to help restore balance and reconnect you with your authentic self.
Why does it finally take a tragedy for us to make changes in our lives? When something awful happens, reality steps in like a sharp wake-up call. Suddenly, our internal light switches on. Something has to change, and it has to change now. But why can’t we see our true, authentic selves in the everyday moments? Why do we struggle to recognise who we are and who we want to be, simply for our own growth, peace, and self-worth?
So often, we rely on others to make us feel better, a compliment, a word of praise, a boost to our mood or energy. We put our happiness in someone else’s hands instead of our own. Yet these moments of validation are fleeting. They keep us going until we reach breaking point. Then, when something devastating happens, we finally see that the compliments, the material items, the “when I achieve this, I’ll be happy” illusions… none of it truly matters.
The truth is, happiness has always been an inside job. Imagine if, from the moment we were born, we were given the tools to find inner peace. To reflect on our emotions, to develop the emotional intelligence to process, learn, and grow. How different would life feel?
I know this because I’ve lived it. Losing both of my parents was earth-shattering. My recent marriage breakup tore through my life in ways I never expected. Each of these moments of loss left me questioning everything, who I was, what I wanted, and whether life would ever feel stable again. And yet, even with such huge wake-up calls, it still took me a long time to begin seeing myself on a deeper level.
What finally started to help me was allowing myself to explore different things, to see what resonated. For me, that looked like journaling, sitting in silence with my emotions (as uncomfortable as that was), long walks in nature, therapy, healing practices like Reiki and sound, and reading books that opened my mind to new perspectives.
One of the biggest shifts came when I discovered Dr Joe Dispenza’s work. His book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and the meditations that go with it gave me tools to see just how much of my life I had been living on autopilot. His teachings helped me connect with my emotions on a much deeper level, rather than just skimming over them. In February this year, I had the chance to see him in person in Basel, Switzerland, and that experience left a huge imprint on me. It felt like something clicked in my heart and mind in a way it never had before.
I don’t share these things as a checklist or a “how-to.” We’re all different, and what supports one person may not support another. But I know how powerful it can be just to hear what’s possible, to have sparks of inspiration that might guide your own journey.
Now, I see things differently. It’s a long process, one of learning, reflection, and getting uncomfortable with my own emotions. Growing up with the “stiff upper lip” mentality, I was taught to keep things in check, to suppress feelings rather than express them. But slowly, I’ve realised that true strength comes from honesty. It’s becoming more common, and rightly encouraged, to talk, to share, to admit we’re struggling.
Still, so many find it difficult to let their guard down. It feels safer to stay in the comfort zone than to face the unknown of our emotions. But that unknown is where growth lives.
So maybe the real question isn’t, “Why does it take a tragedy?” Maybe it’s this, what would happen if we chose to wake up today, without waiting for one?
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that change doesn’t arrive in a neat package. It comes slowly, in moments, in choices we make each day. If I can begin again after loss, then perhaps it’s possible for any of us. Not in the same way, not on the same timeline, but in a way that’s true to who we really are.
Read more from Rachel Strachan
Rachel Strachan, Life Coach & Wellness Practitioner
Rachel Strachan is a Reiki Master, Mindset Coach and Sound Healer with over two decades of experience supporting others on their wellbeing journey. Her own transformation journey has given her deep compassion and understanding, allowing her to connect authentically with each person with whom she works. Through her thoughtful blend of energy work and mindset coaching, Rachel creates space for healing that gets to the root of stress, builds genuine confidence and helps people reconnect with who they really are. She also works with animals and offers sound healing sessions, believing in the power of gentle, holistic approaches to create meaningful change. When she’s not working, you’ll find her spending time in nature or with her animals.
