Who Are "You"? And How To Find Your Answer
- May 4, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Jun 15, 2024
Written by Leif Rasmussen, Mind Skills Trainer
Leif's drive to enhance life fuels his unique approach, combining leading neuroscience with practical training for individuals and groups. His effective methods emphasize flexibility and unique individuality, giving people the knowledge and skills to make better decisions with a touch of “I wonder if?
Sometimes science “rips the carpet away” from underneath old myths and sets us free.
These images are inspired by my own life moments and are AI generated. Your memories and mental pictures will of course be different and beautifully so.
In 2018, scientists at the University of Zurich, Switzerland, used high-precision MRI scans to explore brain activity and discovered that every brain is anatomically unique. Not just slightly different from others, but truly one of a kind.
Earlier studies had shown that individual experiences and life circumstances shape the anatomy of our brains. For instance, the brain of a pianist differs from that of a football player, which makes perfect sense.
But what does the scientific fact of you being unique have to do with who “you” are?
In fact, it has everything to do with you and who “you” are. Consider this: What were some of the happiest moments in your life?
The birth of a child?
Getting married?
Falling in love?
It could be many different things. For you, it might be one of the above, or perhaps it was:
When your parents baked your favorite cookies,
A moment when your dad or mom hugged you and said, "I love you" and you felt it. Deeply.
For sports fans, it might be when their team won a tournament, and they felt "We won" even though they didn’t play.
Yes, our brains are interesting that way and these moments are a part of “you”
Yet “you” are also more than these individual moments
The question “Who are you?” is a great question, but sometimes answering it can be tricky.
You can think about it this way. The different moments you have had throughout your life—the good ones, the bad ones, and all the rest had an impact on you and now, slowly, a new understanding of who "you" are, can begin to take shape.
You have lived, you have learned, and your experience of a moment was at least a little different than the experience others had, even of that very same moment. It meant something different to you and to them.
So “You” are also what those moments meant to you and “you” are what those moments influence you to do today.
Bad things happened to “you”? That does not define you
For instance, if you had bad experiences when trying to make new friends when you changed schools or if you moved to a new city, you might not be very enthusiastic about trying to make new friends today.
Even though you might have had bad experiences trying to make friends or finding a partner, you might also realize that you can improve your skills in meeting people.
Maybe you learned that you can improve your skills in this through other experiences, or skill training with me.
So now this other memory makes you want to meet new people. You might even be excited about the idea of meeting new people. Personally I love meeting new people.
“You” are also influenced by how your moments influence other moments of yours.
And “you” are changing
Over the years you have new experiences. You create new moments, you learn new things, new skills and you behave in new ways.
Even within a normal day, you change.
You behave a little differently after a night of poor sleep, you behave differently before and after the first cup of coffee, after hearing good or bad news. The world around you shapes “you” and you shape them. The list of things that influence our behavior is long.
In an influential manifesto ⁴ from 2004 the distinguished professor of Psychology Peter Molenaar stated, that our behavior varies so much that it makes no sense to describe “you” as 1 personality type or having fixed personality traits and with that, another old myth went “out the door”
Yes “You” are changing and that gives you more freedom to be “you” and to shape the future “you”
So here it is, the answer
Combining all of the above, you can begin to realize that your brain is unique, your life is unique, you are unique and “you” are changing.
All the moments you have had and are having create "you." The decisions you make, the feelings you feel, the way you treat people—it is all "you."
"You" is an ongoing process. "You" are a unique individual. “You” are you... and that is a beautiful thing.
How to find your own answers to “who are you?”
When you hear the question “Who are you?” your Mind will typically give you an answer. My advice here? Don’t force the answer. Just let the question flow through your Mind and “something” will typically come up.
Even if the answer is surprising, but somehow “feels” correct, that is a good start. This can be something like “I take care of the people I love” Maybe the answer is “I am a mother, I am a father” or something else.
The answer you get also depends on your current situation, the person who asks the question and many other elements.
And finally, do remember, that the answer you get is not all that you are, but it can be a part of “who you are” and that is a great starting place to explore more about “you”
Explore “you” and experience your uniqueness
When you want to explore and experience more about “Who you are” and “who you can become”, contact me.
Experience the true beauty and strength of you.
Leif Rasmussen, Mind Skills Trainer
Some want to put you into a small box and label you. I want you to explore just how wonderful your life can be and I will give you the skills to do that.
Useful links and further reading:
You can read more about how your mind and brain works in this article: The Extraordinary Mind
I also recommend the book "How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain" by Lisa Feldman Barrett, the leading neuroscientist in this area. Available here.
References:
[1] Every person has a unique brain anatomy – Science University Zürich
[2] Are memories reliable? Expert explains how they change more than we realize – The Conversation
[3] When Memories Are Remembered, They Can Be Rewritten – Memories and Science
[4] A Manifesto on Psychology as Idiographic Science: Bringing the Person Back Into Scientific Psychology, This Time Forever – The Manifesto
