When Discomfort Has No Name and the Strategy to Regain Your Peace
Adriana Barbara is a Mind-specialized Coach who is focused on helping CEO's and high-level entrepreneurs to develop their leadership teams by assisting each member to transform their mindset from the root.
Imagine going through your day and encountering situations that leave you feeling uneasy, yet the rush of your routine doesn’t allow you the space to reflect. You arrive home at the end of the day, and by then, anything can trigger you. Your kids, your partner, or even something as small as seeing an item out of place. Your partner asks how you’re doing, and you simply say, “I had a bad day,” and end the conversation. You go to bed, try to sleep, but the sense of discomfort lingers. Finally, after tossing and turning uneasily, sleep takes over. Has this ever happened to you?
In this article, you will discover what interferes with effective emotional balance and keeps you in a state of constant unease, as well as the best strategy to intentionally generate emotional well-being and, as a result, live a more pleasant life. Ready? Let’s begin.
Our emotions always accompany us. Our mind is constantly alert to what’s happening around us, interpreting external stimuli based on the way we think and perceive the world. This triggers a chain of thoughts and emotions that determine our mood. That state then drives actions that bring good or bad results.
The key point here is that most of the time, this happens automatically. It takes the mind a fraction of a second to send information it perceives from the environment to the brain, make interpretations, and generate the cycle of thinking, feeling, and acting in response. By the time we become aware, we only see the consequences of our attitude and are left with a generalized feeling and emotions running high.
An essential part of self-mastery is self-reflection and identifying our emotions at a specific level to determine the right strategy to manage them. In the opening example of this article, the sensation described was “discomfort.” That indicates negative emotions are present, but which specific emotion or emotions are at play?
Feeling guilt is not the same as feeling loneliness, nor is insecurity the same as worry. Each emotion requires a particular strategy to manage and transform it effectively. When we apply generic or inadequate strategies, we may create temporary relief, but we don’t address the root of the problem. Sooner or later, the negative emotion resurfaces and continues to affect us.
For example:
Real emotion: Guilt
Case 1: Without self-reflection or identifying the specific emotion
State: I notice a sense of unease within me.
Self-reflection: None.
Strategy: I decided to go home and watch a movie.
Result: I enjoy the movie, but eventually the discomfort persists.
Case 2: With self-reflection and identifying the specific emotion
State: I notice a sense of unease within me.
Self-reflection: I take a moment to reflect on the origin of my emotion and realize I feel guilty for yelling at my friend.
Strategy: I called my friend and apologized.
Result: I relieve my guilt and transform that emotion into peace and well-being.
In this example, we see the power of taking the time to identify the specific emotion we are feeling to act assertively and positively transform our emotional state.
How the strategy works in four steps
Be aware: Self-awareness is the first step to achieving emotional balance. When you notice a significant emotional shift, look inward and acknowledge it.
Self-reflect: Consider the events, triggers, and circumstances that caused the emotional change, and recognize how you feel about them.
Identify: Name the exact, specific emotion you are feeling. You can use Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions* as a reference.
Act accordingly: Determine a strategy to relieve and transform that emotion in a positive direction and act.
By following these simple steps and creating emotional balance within yourself, you will develop your emotional intelligence. You’ll experience greater well-being, healthier interpersonal relationships, and, as a result, better outcomes in your life.
Would you like to go deeper into developing emotional intelligence for yourself and your team? Explore my training and coaching services here. Learn to manage your inner world and achieve better results in all areas of life.
Don’t miss my next article, where we’ll continue exploring the mind and emotions, and how to use them effectively to achieve your goals.
"Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions is a model that illustrates eight basic emotions (joy, trust, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, and anticipation), their opposites, their intensity, and how they combine to form more complex emotions. It is a helpful tool for identifying, understanding, and managing what we feel." You can explore it here: File:Plutchik-wheel.svg – Wikimedia Commons
Adriana Bárbara Rodríguez, Mind Coach
Adriana Barbara is a Mind-specialized Coach that is focused on helping CEO's and high-level entrepreneurs to develop their leadership teams by assisting each member to transform their mindset from the root, achieve their full potential, and improve their highest productivity in order to accomplish the organization’s goals in an effective and sustainable way, with her innovative Neuroscience method in leadership.
